• Member Since 30th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 13 minutes ago

Omegathyst


Greetings, read my gay pony fanfics, now in over five different flavors!

T

On Twilight's last official day as headmare, she teaches her class a very "important" lesson with absolutely no secret intentions at all.

Contains subtle shipping from a teacher, endless trolling, and romantic undertones.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 15 )

This was a joy to read! Laughed the whole way through. Great job!

This was cute and funny!

10021502
Le gasp, I love your fanfics!

MJP
MJP #4 · January 7th · · ·

gotta love this fandom:

2011: "the cutie mark crusaders are in way too many episodes"


2016: "starlight glimmer is in way too many episodes"


2019: "the young six are in way too many episodes"

10021969
I think the problem is that Hasbro introduced them too late in the show for many, and then shit on the Mane 6 to make the new six look good.

If they had come around a few seasons earlier, I might have about them in any way. As it is, I don't. But that's me.

10021535
No, you're breathtaking! :)

While not to such absurd levels as this took it, I actually did once have a class where we had to do something like this. It was not in pairs with one following the instructions the others wrote though.

The amount of sheer trollery from Twilight in this fic is far too thick and disturbingly funny.

Thank you for being the first entrant into the contest! 💙

I have to admit, I'm curious about the pairings this one took, as these are somewhat common, and yet, Yona not being Paired with Sandbar is strange, given their situation in the finale. Mind, Ocellus and Smolder seem to be an item too. Fun times.

10021969
I'll say I think this is just a case of, there's not enough episodes to go around. This series had perfect spin off material more than once, starting all the way back with the CMC, continuing on to the Map that could have been it's own thing, something with Starlight on her own with her group, the Pillars, then adventure in the movie areas with maybe a secondary cast, and of course, the school and the Student/Young Six. That's a lot of plot types to shove into the seasons, and to the writer's credits, they really did try and touch on each of them.

Of course, the only Spin off was Equestria Girls, and it really does show off a pitfall of the spin off, as they took place in an entirely different universe, and still felt the need to touch base with the mane show or otherwise explain why they didn't get Twilight to help out with every problem(When the second movie clearly showed off she wouldn't have been able to help every time). Mind, that could be a failing of the writers for that more than anything, and the desire to tie it back into the main show because it was so distant.

Still, for what they were, I liked most of what we got, and quite enjoyed their choice of endings. Really love that a lot of my shows lately have been getting those, rather than just ending and not trying to resolve series issues like they did back in the day.

MJP

10055826
i dont hate the young six as much as other people seem to

10056804
Didn't say you did, was merely saying that's why those phrases were said. It's not that they really were in too many episodes, it's that there were too many episode types and not enough to go around, given they tried to touch base with all of them every season after they were introduced.

10021969
Heresy! The Young Six are :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

Tsk tsk Twilight... You're not supposed to spy on your students... Much less so when you've set them up for doing naughty stuff.

Well, contest it over, which means we can start posting reviews. I was the one who judged your story, so since you requested a review, here it goes.

The idea of establishing a wacky premise and then pushing it to its logical extreme is a very standard way to write a comedy, and it can really work if done well. I do think in here the tone clashed with it a little bit? The start of the story seems more whimsical than anything, you get Gallus reminiscin about the school and all that -- and then the characters start saying "fuck" left and right, which comes off as a bit jarring. The fact that later "buck" is used as an euphemism but then we get back to "fuck" complicates it even further. I'd personally stick with "buck" all the way through if you gotta choose one? Fits the story better, I'd say.

But yeah, that aside--this story is mostly focused on the way characters interact with each other, with some light flirting and some light storytelling to move the story further, but the plot is kind of inconsequential. That's fine! Splitting the characters in pairs was a good choice; you essentially have seven main characters in this story (Young Six plus Twilight), and writing so many people at once can get unwieldy. This story juggled them all at a very competent pace; scene changes came just when they needed, and at no point did it get confusing, frustrating, or slow.

So yeah! Congrats on the structure and the pacing of the story, because it's the kind of thing that is very easy to get wrong, but when it's done right you barely notice it's there. Wanted to point that out -- ensemble stories aren't easy.

That said, the voicing of the characters was a bit flimsy at places; Yona sounded like herself because she talks in a very distinct manner and it's ease to get her right, but at points it was a bit difficult to believe the characters would say some of the lines of dialogue as-written. This is especially an issue because the story gives so much of an emphasis to character interaction, so I'd look into improving that, if possible, Making a character sound in character is sometimes less about what they say, and more the tone in which they say it, and the words they use.

Overall, a fun little story! Congrats on the global, general structure and pacing of the piece, as well as the general writing, but I'd say, work a bit more on that dialogue. Thanks for participating in the contest!

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