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Twilight and her friends have faced many enemies in their time, and now, they must do so again. An evil tyrant threatens Equestria, and his army is ready to strike. But this Dark Lord first sends his most trusted warrior to face off against the Princess of Friendship. And as they duel, Twilight learns that this worthy opponent may not be cut from the same cloth as his master.
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Interesting idea. I must admit it'd be fun to see a larger story about this type of character, I'd be all for seeing Captain Steel in a larger story in regard to him against Twilight and the others!
Josh Brolin as Captain Steel.
Nice. But I would have liked to see the duel.
Twilight Sparkle defeats the captain but instead of killing him she gives him new purpose. That's pretty much how I see this going. Or at least how I would plan it.
This was a good story with a very interesting premise. This Captain Steel is a very intriguing character. I liked how you written him as a noble anti-villain who is motivated by loyalty and devotion to his Emperor and yet also treats Twilight and her friends with genuine respect and admiration. You really portrayed the bittersweet and tragic nature of Twilight and Captain Steel being on opposite sides. You made it conceivable to imagine that had things been different, Twilight and Captain Steel would have been good friends.
It is a shame that Friendship is Magic has never explored the concept of the Anti-Villain / Noble Top Enforcer on the show. Fortunately, there is always the upcoming IDW Friendship is Magic Season 10 comic books scheduled for May 2020. If Swift Foot from Feats of Friendship does return for Season 10, perhaps she could fulfill the role of the Anti-Villain / Noble Top Enforcer for her fellow Thracians.
Again, this is a great story and I applaud your exploration of the Anti-Villain / Noble Top Enforcer concept.
Score: 5 out of 5.
I do wonder what species Captain Steel is...
Earth Pony? Unicorn? Pegasus? Alicorn?
Very enjoyable! Hopefully there's a sequel
LOVED this dialogue and characterizations. It is easy to see where Steel is coming from and there is much well earned mutual respect in that dialogue.
And as one of the other reviewers said, it is easy to visualize Twilight winning, but sparing Steel and trying to show him a better way.
10049454
Why? Twilight is a poor fighter, and both thematically and dramatically the "showing a better way" works better from a position of weakness rather than strength.
Fascinating concept, but extracting it from its greater story greatly lessens the impact. This isn't a story, it's a sketch, a brief glimpse before the climax. And I'd hardly call it Random. A good idea; I just wish you'd fleshed it out beyond a single scene.
10049624
Twilight isn't really a poor fighter. We know she has a lot of power from her battle with Starlight, and we know that she is clever too from her "fight" against Trixie. If you mean she's a poor fighter in that she lacks technique and finesse... well, that's probably inarguable: Every time we've seen her fight something, it's either with a plan or with power bolts.
But given her playful showdown with Starlight later on, we've seen that she understands the concept of combing spells or using them in novel ways as well. Would Steel have the technical edge in the duel? Probably. Enough of an edge to overcome Twilight's power and cleverness? That's harder to say.
10049454
From the story, though, I doubt that Steel has an angle to kill Twilight either; it's not necessary. The real question would be whether or not the Emperor would kill him if he loses and returns without having conquered Equestria. After all, he may be the Emperor's right-hand, but he is not the Emperor: He doesn't get to decide what the empire does and does not conquer. His purpose is to carry our his master's will. In this scenario, there is no "better way"; Steel could no more disobey his master than Rainbow Dash could betray her friends.
And maybe, that's the whole point. The Element Bearers embody a virtue; Dash embodies loyalty. Steel also embodies loyalty, but that itself is not enough to be virtuous.
Or maybe I'm reading into this too deeply.
The duel is unfair, Twilight speaks from royalty, she is a ruler and has a say in the country's decision, the Captain in the other hand, is just a general, if he is killed, the emperor will appoint another, and the army will go for equestria nonetheless, if twilight loses, equestria gets conquered, if she win, Steel may order a retreat, the emperor will give a Damm and order to attack anyway, so twilight loses regardless of who wins the duel.
10049624
10049802
I'm not going on what would realistically happen I'm going on what I want to happen. After all even if he loses, his honor would be the turning point not loyalty. He's an honorable warrior he honors his agreements therefore he's honoring his vow to the emperor not his loyalty. And if Twilight beats him, he will have lost his honor as a warrior and if Twilight gives him a new purpose she gives him the chance to gain it back. Also since he's been a general in the emperor's army he knows a majority of what goes on in the forces strategies giving Equestria a chance to survive.
10050092
Fair, fair.
10049802
I did and it is. Mare aims with her eyes closed. Nor is she possessed of any grit or steel - she put on an impressive display of abject cowering in her very last chance to perform, in The Ending of the End.
Meh
This story would've been much better if you had more background.
Show us how Steel came to blows. Show us the goal of his master.
Steel is a promising character, but we need more background.
Not bad for a vignette.
Interesting take on a villain per say. Though I'm honestly interested to read the story that would lead to this moment.