• Member Since 24th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen March 22nd

The Conflicted Writer


==Written for Pony Writing Month 2012==

Being the ruler of Equestria, Celestia knows quite a few things. Having lived for an expanse of time most mortals can't ever grasp, she has untold wisdom. That said, when it comes to knowing how to deal with a daughter you've never told anypony about and trying to get her to listen to you before a possible life altering change happens caused by having Alicorn blood... well, Celestia's fairly lost.

Not just that, but Celestia also finds that she's as out of touch with ponies as Luna is, much to her shame. She needs to figure out what it means to be a pony, for her kingdom, for her daughter, and for herself.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 333 )

:rainbowhuh: then i though :rainbowlaugh: this will be amazing! :pinkiehappy:

Yup. Guessed it from the Celestia/Luna conversation.
Who else would have had enough cider to get Celestia drunk? Also partially explains Applejack's name... :rainbowlaugh:

Her response was priceless though...

WHHAAAAAAAAAAAA:applejackconfused: I expected fluttershy for some reason

BUH?! :ajbemused: :ajsmug::applejackconfused:

That was not what I was expecting, honestly I was expecting Dash or Twilight.

Nice work.

You had me going there for bit. I thought it was Rarity to be honest.

Ah think ah agree with AJ here. :applejackconfused:

I was expecting Rarity to be honest, especially after her comment about how she was the least likely. Applejack was actually the bottom on my list of possibilities. Actually, no, Dash and Pinkie were... They don't fit the idea of being a good chancilor. :pinkiecrazy: :rainbowwild:

Great opening. Can't wait for more. :twilightsmile:

Awesomic men:pinkiehappy:

I was pulling for Pinkie Pie. :pinkiehappy: I mean come on, bizarre powers that defy description, for an earth pony no less, unexpected wisdom, even their personalities sync up pretty well when you think about how much of a prankster Celestia can be. :trollestia:

Just glad it's not another "Twilight is Celestia's daughter" story.

Aaaaaaah! There's the link! Cider! That's the link! Heh! Can't wait to see how a horn AND wings will start growing on her and she'll grow taller! :yay: Really cool, dude! Would've worked with any other mane 6 char. (except maybe Twilight coz it doesn't fit) too, so its an Epic Win


Guys! Spoilers. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Derpy_Hooves.png

Darn, I had hoped I had been vague enough that cider wouldn't give it away. Oh well, at least you found it enjoyable.


Why come nopony loves Applejack? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/eenope.png

I really couldn't picture Rarity being the proper kind of Princess. I always thought Rarity was more like a mom, but that's just me.

Nopony expects the Spanish Inquisition! Uh, I mean Applejack. Seriously, where's the Apple love? Although I think Pinkie could do as a chancellor. She'd at least be as good as Pudding Head. :pinkiehappy:

On any other day of the week, I'd agree with you. But I thought Applejack would be the pony to teach Celestia a few things about hard work and honesty, as you'll soon see.:ajsmug:

And I thank you for reading this despite the possibility of this being one. I understand, we've had way too many of those.

The horn and wings will be an issue at some point, but not for a little while. But I have to ask; how is it that Twilight wouldn't fit? I had set it up so that you'd know Fluttershy and Twilight weren't the one early on, but why wouldn't they have fit before that? I wish to know so that I can be a better writer, you understand.

I'm glad he sees it, because I can't see a thing.

... Seriously, what did I do?


Your chief weapon is fear! Fear and surprise, are our two chief weapons. Fear, surprise, and an almost fanatical devotion to Celestia! :pinkiehappy: :trollestia: :rainbowlaugh:

Pinkie? As a pony advising the throne? Yeah... I just don't see it being plausible. Sorry. :pinkiesad2:

And I like Applejack, I was just expecting Rarity more based on the tropes she was playing into. :raritywink:

Ha, ha! You fell into my devious trap! Never expect me to use tropes as intended. To be fair, though, I do think Rarity is best pony. :raritywink:

Personally i also thought it would be Twilight after all the princess has always been like a mother to her


Wow, I was really expecting it to be Twilight or Rainbow Dash. This story has definitely caught my attention.
Fav'd :twilightsmile:

This story was very enjoyable with the new take on the Celestia having a Daughter. The whole scene with Luna and Celestia being exasperated and ready to toss the child into a dungeon lest there be another Blueblood type line were very comedic. I also really liked the Applejack twist you went with. She doesn't get enough attention from things of this scale in stories. Also, that end line was so completely awesome. Twilight's inner look into her relationship with her mentor was also a unique approach. So well done! My thumb and star to you. Bravo~ :pinkiehappy:

My one major criticism was how off key the spa scene was. They spent all night staying up to wait for the princesses news, at the library away from home, get interrupted by sisters of some of the bearers being hurt, and instead of being at a hospital to help said children or back with Celestia to finish the major revelation conversation or even back home trying to nap after a unending night of stress and tension, those three went to a spa? Fluttershy who had still been at the library managed to meet up with them, and even Applejack agreed to go (I don't mention Rarity since it's easy to see her going after missing her beauty sleep). Considering how tired AJ was, I simply can't see her character going to the spa at all versus being at home with her sister, or sleeping instead. I think this contemplation and gossip scene would have made more sense and been less jarring for narration sake if it had taken place at a waiting room while Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were having their ankles/hooves/appendages-that-were-sprained looked at or even on the way back to the Library after dropping their sisters off and suddenly they get swept up in a crowd of eager eavesdropping ponies or something.

I meant the above only as constructive criticism, I hope it presented itself that way. I'll be looking forward to seeing how AJ handles her new noble title and panicky mother of the hour!

I've read plenty of fics with Twilight as Celestia daughter, I've read just as many with Rainbow Dash. have to say Applejack is a first such a twist:twistnerd:.
great writing though keep up the good work

1058858 You put some awesome foreshadowing us there that tells us it is Applejack.
I didn't get it till the end though...:fluttercry:

1058858 Ikr, it's like people just think, "Hey I'm gonna write a story and twilight will be celestia's daughter cause there obviously not enough of those in the world. :derpytongue2:"
Although the creativness of some of those writers is pretty good, they come up with really interesting ideas and histories. :twilightsheepish:

Oh my god, some honest feedback! Every writer's dream come true!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

Thank you for saying what's good is good. The introspective scene with Twilight and Celestia struck a chord within me, and I like the idea of exploring their relationship without them being related by blood.

I see what you mean about the spa scene. In my head, I kind of looked at it the same as the spa scene in the episode where the Cutie Mark Crusaders were working on a newspaper. That scene reveled that Applejack likes a day at the spa. I also probably should have mentioned that they only got sprains and that it's quite a bit of time later at the spa. I had imagined that they would figure Celestia would summon them when she wanted to, since she did say it wasn't Equestria changing, and I also didn't mean for Applejack to sound tired. I just thought that one line sounded best coming from Applejack since she's supposed to be brutally honest. But I see what you're saying and REALLY appreciate telling me what's wrong. Any suggestions on what I could change now to make it flow easier? Like I said, they only got sprains, so the waiting room option is kinda out.

You'll be surprised. This isn't going to turn out at all like most people are thinking.

The cider gave it away. Totally saw it coming. Still really like where this is going, I'll keep an eye on it. :twilightsmile:


Good to hear that ya enjoyed the feedback there. I was honestly worried it would seem like a rant. Glad that wasn't the case! :twilightsmile:

Pinkies translation of Scootaloo's gibberish did say sprain, but without a reaffirmation of that statement by the other ponies afterwards (like Rarity saying she's glad it wasn't a big deal and Sweetie would be fine soon, or AJ saying something like "Whew, good thing Scoots was right and they really were just sprains! With the way that filly hauls off everywhere and is crashin' every-which-where like Dash, I thought sprain mighta meant broken hoof or somehtin comin from 'er" etc.) I didn't want to assume the foal was accurate in her assessment. I only mentioned a hospital as a check up sort of thing, to make sure it was just a sprain and not something more serious, and it'd give a perfect gossip scene which is what you were going for.

To make it flow better with the spa scene, I would just say to put in some transitional information during the conversation. I'm assuming you meant later the same day right? It can be something simple like Rarity saying how she likes gossip but she'd already had the spa booked for weeks, or AJ saying she'd been looking forward to relaxing after a hard apple bucking season and she'd rather just leave all the poli-whatsit-ticol stuff to the others. Basically, just provide a bit of exposition on why they're at the spa instead of doing something else that could be deemed a higher priority. Maybe even for continuities sake have one of them mention how they're tired after the whole Library thing, but maybe they don't want to pass out in the middle of the day and mess up their sleeping habits seeing as how both AJ and Rarity work set hours.

Though, if they haven't slept at all since the library, you'll want to keep in mind that folks that are sleep deprived can get short with others as a result. Also, they're usually prone to making poor decisions due to decreased cognitive function (I.E they're tired and cranky). Whatever you decide to do in the end, it just comes down to transitioning better so it flows smoothly without any jarring bumps in narration and reasoning behind the scene changes.


I support this post.

Applejack?! My deductive powers have failed?!? NOOOOOO!!!:raritycry:

But seriously though, can't wait to see where this goes. Just got yourself a watcher, mate!:pinkiehappy:

1058858 Well, first of all Twilight looks too much like both her parents to be Celestia's daughter (especially her mom, it explains the purple striped color elements). Second, Twilight explained it herself to Celestia in your first chapter(aka you gave another reason). And I can't think of any other reasons but those are pretty solid, I think. Besides as you said all of the circumstances you put there give contradiction.

Btw I didn't mention it before but it would've been a let down if Rarity was the one since she's all high class already and I'm afraid that it would go to her head pretty quickly.

At least that's how I see things.

Good job on picking Applejack though. Her modest nature will be a plus throughout the story.

But it would've been funny if it was Fluttershy since her shy hijinks would've provided comedy gold.

One last thing: I'd advise you to add a comedy category since this story of yours has many funny moments. :yay:

Oh fine, faved.

I knew it was applejack all along then you did the fake out I was pisssed then thought about why twlight is Celestia's daughter the she said "your not"

You bucking troll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So far, two people have figured it out just based on the cider. Not sure if want.

They can say all they want, but Rarity will always be best pony. :raritystarry:

Bwa, ha, ha! You have failed! Wallow in whatever it is ponies are supposes to wallow in.:raritydespair:

Still, glad you enjoyed! I hope not to disappoint.

I don't see how Twilight explained that she isn't, only that she didn't want it to be her. But I AM glad someone finally realized that Twilight looks nothing like Celestia. Seriously, why doesn't anyone ever point this fact out?

Anyway, I don't think Applejack gets enough love, though I do think Rarity is best pony. :raritywink: I'd love to see one with Fluttershy, but, meh, nopony feels like it, it seems.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png I also can't label this as a comedy story unless the ending and point of the story is comical, but I am glad you're getting a laugh out of it.

:trollestia:dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png Troll-lol-lol-lol-lol-lol

Hmm, good advice. I'mma go and edit in a bit.

Seriously, this is some great help. I wish more readers/reviewers were like you.


You may want to replace it with salt licks. Wouldn't give it away.


Go rewatch "Over a Barrel", at one point, we see a visibly inebriated-acting stallion be kicked out of a tavern and stumble.

I love the way you set this up.

the key here is Luna's Line about "Celestia's Daughter "giving good advice" In Luna Eclipsed three Elements gave Luna "advice", Twilight, Fluttershy and Applejack. This knocks out :raritystarry::rainbowdetermined2: and :pinkiehappy:

:twilightsmile: is the obvious choice. she is basically being raised to be the equivalent of prime minister. And Celestia's line about " seeing her get her cutie mark " seems to only apply to twilight. On the other hand she is the obvious choice, to the point where this story would be very weak, if she were in fact Celestia's Daughter. There is no drama there " yeah obiously she is her daughter, what else is new?". also Twilight is so clearly her canonical mother's daughter, they look almost exactly the same.

:yay: Fluttershy was who i taught it was at the end of the conversation between Luna and Celestia. Luna agrees that she is " sweet" and that there is a physical resemblance ( which seems to hint at either fluttershy Dash or rarity. but we already know due to Luna's line about advice, that it isn't Dashie or Rarity). on the other hand Fluttershy's backstory seems incompatible with this possiblity.
That leaves :ajbemused: her parents are missing which allows for more flexiblity with her backstory. and of course as the least " princessy " of the elements the hilarity factor is highest here.

one last thing that makes the choice of :ajbemused: work. Apparently Celestia got knocked up in anone night stand. There cant be many stallions in Equestria with the swag levels necessary to bed:trollestia: the godlike asbolute ruler of the land. Now these kinds of things tend to run in families and what stallion posesses the most swag in Equestria that we know off? that's right :eeyup:. Guess he got it from his dad

Isn't reasoning a hoot? I'm glad that someone figured out that it was possible to guess which pony it is just from that one line. Of course, most should have used logic to figure out that :duck: wasn't an option since they didn't actually meet in that episode. A surprising amount of people were fooled by the tropes I used. Although, don't expect the 'Applejack is a Princess' thing to be a factor anytime soon, if it's going to be one at all. This will be more about... well, I don't want to spoil anything.

And also, get your head out of the gutter! Mr. Cake is disapoint. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Mr_Cake.png I hadn't considered that at all, you sicko!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_hmph.png

... Although, now that I think about it, that makes a disturbing amount of sense.:twilightoops:

Applejack: (to Celestia and Luna) Mornin'... ma. Aunt Luna.

Luna; Applejack, while I appreciate that you would use terms of endearment to us, under any circumstances in the immediate future, you will NOT EVER call me Aunt Luna ever again. 'Your majesty' will suffice.

Celestia: Luna!

Now I'm going to feel sorry for AJ:applejackunsure: Like every pony will want to be her friend or something.:ajbemused:

1063528 You'd love to read one with Fluttershy, eh? I'll keep that in mind.:raritywink: (writes down story idea along the long list of unfinished and not yet begun fanfics)

This. :ajsmug:

And you just figured out what a point of the story will be.

Hey, be sure to tell me if you write that! I'd read it in a heartbeat.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png Why isn't there a happy Fluttershy emote?

We need this. All of this.
Although I found that emote.:yay: I'm just a silly pony.:derpytongue2:

I'm sure this is going in a direction none of you thought it was going. What can I say? As it is in the show most of the time, Applejack is hardly ever the main character, even when she's the focus.:applejackunsure: It has to do with the fact that, in my head at least, Applejack doesn't really seem to have a need to grow. She's pretty good where she's at right now. This is going to be about Celestia and Applejack's relationship, to be sure, but they'll be a lot of character building for Celestia as she discovers things about ponies and life she didn't understand before.

I hope this isn't moving too slow, either. I tend to do that because I love really slow paced stories. Hopefully it won't happen again as much as it did here, or be too big of a problem.

This is a well-done chapter. I had a feeling Applejack was going to react poorly.

Though, I doubt this would have happened if somepony hadn't made a bucking production out of the whole deal. It should have been private. *glares at Rarity*

And Celestia is depowering herself just to find who she truly is. Interesting.

Luna, Best Pony Ever:pinkiehappy:

I like where this going... though I hope you explain in flashbacks why Applejack was separated from Celestia at birth... :trollestia:
Also, I like where your going with Celestia trying to mingle with the commoners... cause honestly, she needs to learn a few things of the simple life :ajsmug:

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