• Member Since 5th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 7th, 2014

PrincessAmythest


E

Princess Celestia's daughter Scootaloo was foal napped, driven mad Celestia wiped her memory of Scootaloo, but when she meets her again Scootaloo remembers Celestia immediately. With the help of Scootaloo's aunt Princess Luna will they ever be able to live in harmony together again.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 44 )

Interesting premise though I think the execution could use some, along with cleaning up the grammar (which isn't that horrible, not by a long shot).

An interesting premise, I'll give it a read.

MORE it's really interesting and unknown

Scootaloo, you can't ditch school.:trollestia:

I'll give this a definite read. The premise of this story intrigues me greatly. I look forward to reading what you write next.

Omg it was getting good [img]Google[/img]

Princess of the Chickens (and in some beliefs the dodo bird)

Sounds like this also needs an AU tag based on the description.

I saw this, and I was like :unsuresweetie: then, I was like :pinkiegasp: and finally I was like :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::heart::twilightsmile:
So, I favorited the story.

let's see where this goes from here :pinkiesmile:
oh! and stache :moustache:

This story has a really good idea and so far it is interesting and has played out pretty well. I am certainly looking forward to updates to the story. :derpytongue2:

The back story to this one has a lot of potential.

Hmmmm. Eh. Screw it. I'll track for now.

Let's see what you got.

~Skeeter The Lurker

A little fast, spotted only a few grammar errors, and Applejack is supposed to be one word for the name I think. Other than those tiny things I gotta say I like this!

This seems a bit early, but, MORE (slams hands on table)

10/10 c:

What happend? One second she is at Sugar Cube Corner meeting Celestia and now she has her Cutie Mark and everything took a turn for the worse. Seriously, What the Funk happend?

short. needs MORE details, and way more story lines. i like the original idea but you need to rewrite it

2720515
I agree. I think maybe take another day just to think about everything that should happen and explain it more.

Still love the idea but that went WAY too fast. One second she's outside Sugarcube Corner and the next? I suppose that might be her confused point of view but we're all hoping for some more details please.

No idea what happened. One moment she's at Sugar Cube Corner and the next she's running away from it crying. I thought that she was a foal when she was foal-napped. But she's talking like she KNOWS that Celestia is her mother. That makes NO sense. She isn't supposed to know that, that really ruins the story for me, but i'm going to keep reading it.

like the idea when you gonna update the story

...Wat? :rainbowhuh:

The premise is good, but the story itself makes no sense at all. I have no idea what's going on. Not to mention all the run-on sentences... In addition, you've messed up a few names, namely that Sweetie Belle's name is supposed to be two words and Applejack's is just one.

this is confusing.you went way too fast,and if she was foal-napped how does she know celestia is her mom? i hope this gets better later on.:facehoof: :ajsleepy: :applecry: :derpyderp1:

whoa! slow down yer loosing me here, ya might wanna redo this and take it slow this time just an honest opinion :ajsmug:

Um... ok first way too fast, two Celestia would not act like that and I would think the Guard if knowing that Scoots was Tia's daughter would have said something about that other wise he would not have said anything. Also... I don't think AB would have kicked Scoots out of the CMC just like that.

:ajbemused:

Bad idea, worse execution. -1/10 would vomit again.

cant w8 for more this is really good

Um... This chapter... Makes NO SENSE!! :facehoof:

This is a good premise but you do need to work on your issue of pacing and while I imagine the guards trying the subtle approach to jog Celestia memory I can't picture Celestia acting that way towards a filly.

Scootaloo's tAlent is... Crying???!!!

2720515 thanks for the advice I will take a couple of weeks to just edit it and once again thanks :pinkiesmile:

OH GOD! I NEED MORE OF THIS!

Her cutie mark is crying?

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I'm going to have to agree with Blaze Song here, at least for a couple points. In the previous chapter, Scootaloo remarks that she hopes the guards remember her, and that it's been a long time, yet in this one, she has no recollection of Celestia, nor why the guards look at her the way they do. And in this one, Scootaloo's mark doesn't make a lot of sense... Teardrop... crying... That's about as far as it goes... Plus, I highly doubt the Crusaders would expel one of their own simply because they received their mark. In fact, I think they'd be more interested in using that pony to help the others obtain theirs.

I think scootaloo's cutie mark is for being emotional

its been almost 3 years sence a last update. I need more:flutterrage:. Please:fluttershysad:

Great, but Celestia, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle seem really ooc here. Also, really fast pacing, slow down a little, but otherwise, interesting story premise, I really like it.

Almost 4 years:ajbemused:

This story is dead.

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