• Member Since 24th Jun, 2016
  • offline last seen Sunday


I come from the land of the green and unknown, from tenth page drop, where the horse words flow.

Comments ( 58 )

Well, I can't be the only person who thought it was kind of weird they were washing cars in their normal clothes, which included jackets, boots and other clothes that would suck if they got wet or covered in soap.

I like this.

Oh, you are going to a very special hell.


This was hot...

...but I get the feeling there's no actual sex in here because it's April Fool's Day. Probably just me though.

This is a truly generous thing to do, don't you think? :raritywink:

Uh-hmmm #6 · Apr 2nd, 2019 · · 1 ·

Partly for April Fool's, partly because the offers were more interesting to write than the sex scenes would be. Unlike all the other times a hack writer leaves it up to the reader's imagination, I think there is enough here that it wouldn't take much to fill in the blanks.

Ah. Makes sense to me.

More please?

Hymn .... overall i liked the story. In a way it was sweet. Sad their wasnt any sexy times but im a sucker for a knight in shining armor. Plus hes a librarian... sunsets response was gold.

This was cute, but the premise was a bit unrealistic.

I mean, they think they can mass-manufacture Rarity's design with only seven hundred dollars' worth of capital?



April 1st or not, SEQUEL PLEASE!

I love this, so wanna see a sequel soon.

Reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theater.

That's the end!?

You know why this was done on April Fool's?

Because after that $700 donation, he's going to be fooling around all April long.

>cliff hanger ending

Pretty sure offering to pay the full sum to stop a bunch of girls from needing to prostitute themselves without implicitly demanding sexual reciprocation from what are technically age of consent young adults and then simply implying acceptance when the girls want to have sex with him regardless of whether he would have demanded it... doesn't qualify him for "the special place in hell".

The yellow girl squeaks and whirls around, her sizable dirty pillows swaying with the motion.

Ha-haa... Carrie.

Did you look before replying? His comment was a reply talking about who goes to the special hell(Also the people who put really loud mufflers on sedans go there to) But the only person that said the story anon was going to special hell was himself, the first comment was quoted from the story.

Nicccce. Sexy even without sex. I wouldn't mind seeing a few extra spicy chapters.

I noticed something.....you never described Fluttershy's swimsuit; is the poor dear going au natural? o/////o

Honestly, I like how the ending subverts what might've happened and to be honest? ....I'd realistically would've done the same thing.....or most certainly given them the advertising however I could so they wouldn't have to resort to the last resort.

You've never watched Firefly, have you?

hot damn!!:trollestia:
wheres the kinky stuff?!:yay:
me wanna know!:twilightsheepish:

700 dollars?!

You and Rarity might be getting along nicely, Anon.

Wait. You already are.

No, guess i didn't.

It's been a long time but I have. Don't recall what your referencing.

I'm completing the quote that the other user started. It's from Episode 6, Our Mrs. Reynolds.

The scene in question.

So wait, they did get wet doing that car wash in Dance Magic? I was recently told by someone else that it is hard to keep dry doing that, plus looking closer Rarity mentioned "sunshine and suds doing a number on her hair". Though it would make it seem strange that Sunset and Applejack avoided being sprayed by Fluttershy with the hose. I have a wam interest so I appreciate any counts for the Equestria Girls, especially Rainbow Dash with her original outfit. (though this isn't a fetish for me unlike other things I write about)

THe don't get wet, but that's mainly because it's written that way. In real life, they would've gotten splashed somehow.

I was cheated out of anon having sex, I demand a refund!

I just clicked for the cover art.


Pony porn down voted!!!

What if it's like the first rain scene in Rarity Takes Manehattan, where they just don't show it? They also didn't show mud on Twilight after she fell face-first into the mud puddle.

Ah, who am I kidding, they probably didn't.

Your really just going to end it there?

Fractured Heart, down voted.

Well that's a shitty reason to down vote something man. At least give it a chance before down voting it, because no one would have a problem then. It just wouldn't be your cup of tea. But being rude about it is just discouraging dude.

If youd read it youd know its not even porn, but clearly you didnt bother with with such things.

O wait nvm. Nice bait.

What is wrong with me that a story gets ruined by reading the words "anon". I didn't dislike the story but I can't seem to read it.

It's also my fault for being so needlessly nitpicky. Forgive me author. I want to read this but I...can't seem to get in the mood to do so. I'm sure this is a good piece and nothing against you. It's me.

It's alright, I have similar feelings about named humans.

The solution is very simple. Copy and paste the story into Microsoft word and or something, find and replace "Anon" with "John" or whatever, then enjoy.

I'm halfway tempted to make an collection of all my stories called "20% More Palatable" where it's just reposts with the name changed. Might be against the rules though.

Oh no need to go out of your way to do that sir. I am just very picky when it comes to stories. Eventually I'll come to my senses and accept the piece as it was written.

To be fair, you aren't the first with the sentiment. If I do end up making "20% More Palatable" rest assured, I'll be having some fun with the idea.

Modecan Solder #1: Uhhh.. should we Report this to the Modéland about this?
Modecan Solder #2: Nah, We should keep this a Secret, Trust me the Modecan Government Would Never Know.
Modeca Solder #1: Ja, we should Keep this a Secret, you have money for this Car Wash?
Modecan Solder #2: You know what we mean.
Modecan Solder #1: Let's do it.

Review time!

Cool and neato! A very interesting premise to tackle for a story such as this and with such a cast. I'd first like to point out that I enjoyed it. Though I found many errors with the story.

Now, onto the unsavory bits. First things first, each girl barely got time in the spotlight and I assume you minimized them for some reason. As with seven different personalities is difficult to juggle. Going from one mindset of writing a character into another. Give the girls a little bit more to make them come alive to the reader. Develop them instead of adding them in as accessories for the plot. I also think that Anon here should have gotten an OC name at least. You tell it from the perspective of what seems to be your most established character created here. I think you should use that as a tool rather than doing an anon role to get readers to "ride along" so to speak.

Now the good parts. I like the idea. Having to resort to last minute "sales" leading to a feeling of desperation. Even though I believed that still needed to be emphasized more, the natural flow through anon's eyes made it more believable and understanding. Especially at the end where we get a bit of a cliffhanger for a second chapter altogether and get a happy ending. Which is always a plus on my part! Good job, Sir!


A nice bit of fantasy and implied clop. Good stuff as always Uh-hmmm.

"I'd appreciate it if you would do more than look."
Oh, you are going to a very special hell. Your fingers squeeze, burrowing into delectably soft flesh.

It's for charity, so I guess it's okay...

"A-are you serious?"
You open up your wallet and show her the Benjamin's.
"I'd rather keep you girls from selling yourselves than keep the money."

(Also, no hell for him.)

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