• Published 5th Jan 2019
  • 5,097 Views, 60 Comments

Vertigo - MrNumbers



For Hearth's Warming, Luna has offered Twilight a night to teach her whatever she wants to know. Luna didn't expect to be the subject of interest.

  • ...
47
 60
 5,097
This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your country.

Confirm
Comments ( 60 )

Bonus ending:

Sunset Shimmer enjoyed having this world’s Twilight as a roommate. Her parents paid more than a generous share of the rent, and Sunset was enough of a Functional Adult that there weren’t any problems.

Twilight did the dishes, and her own laundry, and mostly kept to her room. Sunset assembled the Ikea furniture and helped her get her license. Friday nights they got box wine and discount chocolate and watched old science fiction movies.

Mostly, though, Twilight kept to her room. So it was unusual to see her sitting on the living room couch at all, when she got back.

“Hey, Twi.”

Twilight jumped, then scrambled for a blanket and hid under it with a squeak. Since Sunset definitely wasn’t rooming with Fluttershy, this hadn’t happened before.

“Oooookay.” Sunset leaned over the couch and peaked under the blanket. Twilight’s cheeks looked hot enough she could fry an egg off them. In her arms was the friendship journal.

“The other me is apparently very, very happy at the moment,” Twilight said slowly, “and she likes oversharing.”

The first two pages of the new entry were kind of like a flip book. If you wiggled the page back and forth really fast, it was a picture of Twilight doing a kind of happy booty dance. “Huh.”

“You really don’t have to read the rest, you know.”

“I’m curious, though. What’s she so happy about?”

Then Sunset turned the page, and Twilight hid under the blanket again. Apparently the Princess had... oh, wow, okay.

Okay, so her prose was a little purple, but the anatomical drawings and the step by step instructions were lucid, insightful, and very educational. Actually, Sunset was a little disappointed those weren’t flipbookable. “I didn’t know you were into girls, like that.”

“Well, apparently one of us is!”

Sunset reread a particularly insightful piece about how intense eye contact could be. “You think this is elaborate revenge because you got a boyfriend before she did?”

“That does sound like something we would do.” This Twilight sighed, massaging her temples, the blush not fading. “I can’t believe she turned education against me like this.”

“So, are you going to write her back?” Sunset turned the book sideways. Woah.

“What do I even say to this?!”

"Congratulations. Maybe thank her for the notes?" Sunset flipped the pages. They kept going. "She was thorough, huh?"

"If she didn't appreciate me asking for advice on my dates, she should have just said so!"

"Looks like she's about ready to call it even." Sunset handed the book back, and Twilight clutched it to her chest, trying to hide as much of it with her arms as possible under the blanket. "You mind if I borrow this later? There was actually some really good advice in here-"

Twilight disappeared entirely under the blanket and groaned.

I feel morally obligated to just comment on this story.

Comment posted by Undome Tinwe deleted Jan 5th, 2019

My panties are soaked through right now. Good job.

(But actually, preying on my love of being an educator to elicit an erotic response feels so wrong and yet is stupidly effective.)

9385792

It makes me really sad this is the impression people who don't read the story will have of it.

Mr. Numbers wrote porn. :pinkiegasp: :yay:

9385816

Not for the first time. I really like writing sex-positive pieces... under alts.

Yeah I might drop that a moment. This one I'm too proud of.

Porn is sex with a story as optional. But erotica, now that is a tale worth telling. Fine work on the sensuality of this tale.

Ohh this was so sweet!!

I love how the sex added so much to the story without being the main focus.

Well, wasn't this an absolute gem!

It was a lovely first date, star watching and storytelling and then everything else. And too many little lines that I liked to quote them all.

9385828
Really now? Because finding sex positive porn is completely impossible and it's really annoying. I ask you, how am I supposed to find it if my favorite authors hide that they write it?

9385757
I know right? Teaching and storytelling both.

Noc

9385828
Please let us know who those alts are? ’Cause I’m dying to see what other naughty stuff you’ve written. This was excellent.

Beautifull story. I don't like clop, but if it is done in something as well written as this, i can deal with it.

And this

She sipper her hot chocolate.

Is the only error i found as well

Man I wish I had the words to properly tell you why I love this story but I can never word things right, this is a nice fic with some nice sexy time at the end.

Fantastic story. I especially liked Luna's part of the dialogue, but all of it was very well written. Well done :twilightsmile:

Dammit numbers!

I got three cavities just from looking at the title and developed type two diabetes from reading. :twilightblush:

Aaww! TwiLuna fluff is best fluff.
Well, except maybe SciTwi and Sunset.

Very sweet and sexy! :twilightblush: That it's also my favorite pairing is a great bonus. If this is a representative example of your alt work, please let us know where the rest is! Because, as someone mentioned above, it is nearly impossible to find good erotica on this site.

Hot. Dam.
This was relaxing, beautiful, and enticing. Bravo! Have a fave.

9386010
I agree. I have an unusual mental capacity, to the point I've been in parent-teacher conferences that center around problems caused by my good grades. And I can honestly say, this was the first story on the site to arouse me. The main reason is because of my connection to Twi's story: knowing that people are afraid of looking stupid but not being empathetic to it. Good job, MrNumbers!:pinkiehappy:

I still haven't the faintest clue what sex-positive is meant to be, but this was artistic and I appreciate it. :)

#FeminismIsCancer

Great cute story, loved it. Thanks for sharing!

9389914
Oh hey, I remember you. You tried to warn against feminist outrage when Horizon talked about a woman getting her drink spiked, and a probable rape attempt, at a party he was at during a ponycon.

9389924
You mean the user who tried to whip up a frenzied hysteria about spiked drinks at a convention a year after it happened and get pity backpats from the other users about being a good boy from a scary incident, without the duty of calling security at the convention or hotel, and filing a police report?

And me ragging against a whole blog post that almost screamed "I'm a #MeToo Ally to protect all the women from the evil men" and people primed ready to create another social media outrage mob against what may or may not be an innocent person? (Because what's Due Process?)

Yes, that post.

Also, your recent blog post about FimFiction erotica needing to be more "inclusive" to women can be summed up as certain erotica dominates the front page of the site, there's not enough of your ideology being pushed, (anonymous) women on the site need to be catered to for no reason, and all that bad erotica needs to go away or be editorialized. It all really shows how much of the Feminist Kool-Aid you've drunk and treat men as evil and women as child-like.

Amazing

Omg this story just touched my soul it was so adorable but what does sex- positive mean? Can anyone tell me?

9390061
I'm of the opinion that ideology needs to stay out of fiction unless it's actually integral to the plot. This story, from what I can tell, isn't about any ideology. It's a romance story between Luna and Twilight, and it's well written. "Feminism" isn't what the story is about, nor is it in it at all, so I'm having a hard time understanding your outrage at it.

Are you simply mad at the author because of their political views? Because you can have a different political opinion and enjoy a politically-neutral story. If the author wants to make more "inclusive" characters and the story is still good, still has substance, more power to them. If they make bad stories, they won't take root and people won't read them.

9390847
Means not thinking anyone is worse for sleeping around as it were.

9390847
It means numbers wants to promote a positive view of sex where the two people have a deep affection and they make love because they love each other, not because one only wants sex out of the relationship and no love.

9391085
The author posted on his blog in his profile a bunch of Feminist garbage that basically says that women are being scared off the site by erotica he doesn't like, like Reverse Gender Roles Equestria, and he's being an activist for "sex-positive" porn being promoted on the site.

I have an incredibly low opinion of Feminists, people like Numbers and others that agree with him because they're overbearing moralistic busy bodies who don't shut up. I'm just here poking him with a stick.

Very well done, Numbers, this was a lovely read. Thank you for sharing.


9391454

I'm just here poking him with a stick.

Like an overbearing moralistic busybody who won't shut up, you mean? Seriously, dude, we get it, you hate feminism.

“It’s a diamond!” Twilight breathed. “It’s a dead star that cooled into a diamond...”

Oh! I've heard of this before! It's pretty cool, what remains of the star is carbon which is then subjected to the pressure of a supernovae, which hardens it into diamond!

*ahem* This is a nice story so far. I'll keep reading.

She returned, the crackers now just crumbs on her chin, but holding what looked like a glass-bottomed beer keg bolted onto a tripod with more hydraulics than a forklift

Ahh, Luna. Of course you'd be an aperture queen. The only surprise is that Twilight apparently isn't!

Well, it was worth asking. Just because you’re old now doesn’t mean you weren’t young once

:pinkiehappy::rainbowderp::rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild::twilightblush::facehoof:

9391454
...Well, so long as he's good at what he does, I don't mind. This is one of the highest-quality flicks I've read the past week, and it's not because it's feminist, but because it's good romance/porn.

I understand your dislike of feminists, I have no particular love for the modern brand either. Though you have to be careful of what you say and how you say it, because words do have consequences, and we're responsible for using them. Look at your past couple of comments and think about how that comes across to not just he author but anyone who sees it. Do you really think you've won many favors with that?

Of course you may say that you don't care and that all you wanted to do was poke the guy with a stick, which is fair enough if you just want to get on people's nerves. But I'd say you run the risk that, when you act downright hostile unprovoked, not only do you act rude and people see that, but you may just push people to disagree with the point you're trying to make in the first place, all so you get the satisfaction of calling someone a bad name.

Positively stunning! I love this!

9391490 9391954
More like I'm against someone who wants to editorialize and censor the current Top 3 Featured fics on the site because he feels it scares the wahmen away. (While promoting his own stuff.) Numbers deserves to be mocked for saying something so stupid.

9392323

I really don't have anything new to say to you that hasn't been said to you many times before by better writers, but you fail to understand that you are fundamentally misunderstanding MrNumber's point and seem to refuse to even consider that you have made an error in interpretation.

9392373
"better writers".... I'm not even misinterpreting his blog post.

That’s why I Need Feminism: I want better porn.

There's so much wrong with that alone, but the next one is his main argument.

The problem is we’ve created an environment where it’s only guys writing female characters, and that being internalized as the female perspective. This isn’t really something we can fix, but it’s something I hope we can try to be more aware of both in how we read and write these characters.

He's advocating for gynocentric activism for horse porn. :facehoof:

I’m extremely guilty of this myself. I feel the need to be in a relationship most of the time not due to loneliness, but because I abhor how I view women when I’m out of one. I catch myself trying to talk to women purely to see if I can get that relationship out of them, and losing interest in friendships with women I’d otherwise value but can’t ‘upgrade’.

It's so much worse than what you think, Madness, because MrNumbers seems to have some mental issues and a lot of psychological baggage he really should seek better help for than just spilling it in a blog post.

The feature box is full of that toxic, base, awful mindset as a wish-fulfilment power fantasy. It’s how it’s defining the core relationship dynamic between the genders.

Like the psychological projection and hate onto a featured box that's usually full of good stories and other fantasies a lot of people like. (They're fantasies, not real life acts.)

It’s been very disheartening to see An Intricate Disguise (AIDs) dominate the feature box so consistently. Not because his prose is bad, but because his stories reflect very poor understanding of both women and of consent.

And bashing other authors for the crime of having stories he hates being so popular, because "that's not how relationships work!"

I want to talk about Vertigo, and what I wanted to do with it. Whether I accomplished it or not are up to the viewer’s discretion, but positive views about sex and sexuality,

Okay, I can agree with that. I do like lovi-

and an emphasis on enthusiastic consent, are really important to me.

NOPE! "Enthusiastic consent" (aka "Yes Means Yes"), this idea that you constantly have to get consent for every action before and during sex, is not only unfeasible, but it's a huge turn-off to most women too to be repeatedly asked "may I?", "can I?", "should I?" This is also related to politics because a couple places have already put in laws where if someone wasn't 100% okay with something, they're now a rapist. It's why men have started to record women on their phones they consent to sex, because they don't want their life destroyed by an accusation later. (This was even parodied on South Park.)

As always, being a woman doesn't mean being good. E L James is still garbage, for instance, with absolutely toxic views of men and women, and female-dominated fandoms like Twilight produce stuff that is really, really harmful in the perceptions of gay men. This is about diversifying your intake, and being more conscious of it.

Cry like the Feminists who tried boycotting those awful books and garbage movie, and the entire erotic novel industry that caters directly to women. Cry about the YAOI fangirls who almost exclusively buy, write, & read it. You can't change the sexes to like something less "problematic", when our attractions are built into our DNA. Like how men are attracted to young fertile women, and women want fit dominant men with lots of resources to breed with. Besides, even other Feminists admit they secretly like "sexist" men too. Stop trying to ideologically push your product and subversive politics into fandoms. Feminists do not represent women.

So complain to me all you want about bringing in drama and hating on his politics, his ideas, and his fic. I'm bashing him back because he's a jealous person who hates what he sees on the site and wishes he could editorialize it away for his own brand of porn and romance stories.

9392323
So I went to his most recent blog detailing his criticisms of popular porn on this site and why/how he wrote Vertigo. As far as I can tell, he didn't mention anything about censorship. In fact, he went as far to point out that he doesn't want to stop people from writing these things, just to be more aware of it.

I really don't think you or numbers should be getting so emotional over this, because at the end of the day Mr. Numbers, it IS just fiction. We write and read dubious stories because they can be exciting, because they get us passionate but won't and can't do in real life. I don't play GTA because I want to run over people and get prostitutes off the street. It's entertainment; it's fantasy, and people who can't discern the two have a much more fundamental problem than actually consuming the content.

And Johnny, he's just stating an opinion. At worst he's just wrong, and from his own post he's not wanting to censor anyone, so it doesn't effect you. It's okay to defend yourself if and when you're actually being oppressed, but him stating an opinion does not oppression make, and some of the things said was simply to be mean.

Anyway, I think that should sum up my thoughts pretty well. This was much more drama than I was expecting from this story, but it was interesting to read about the community's concerns. I'd appreciate it if you both tried conducting yourselves better so that conversations can be more civil and productive, but that's ultimately up to you two.

Is it okay to like this and also unethical sex-negative porn? :trollestia:

9392726
Numbers having a temper showing off his own personal issues and his Regressive infantilizing ideas, is worthy of mockery.

I have a problem with people like Numbers because he's the type of person who says wants to "make the fandom better", but what he really wants is to be the arbiter or morality for everyone else. We have a lot of people like him in journalism these days, especially in video games, calling for almost everything to be changed to be "Progressive" and praising censorship if it's in his favor. There's plenty of games and content I wouldn't mind playing through, but can't because it triggered the journalists too much and developers\publishers had to censor them to not get bad press and higher scores for being "Progressive".

The only praise worthy thing was he actually put money where his mouth was and made something that was in line with his ideals. It still sours the product knowing there was an agenda being pushed behind it and it doesn't take a lot of effort to write a story.

9392831
Getting laid is a low IQ teenagers goal. You can keep pulling more buzzwords you got from BuzzFeed, Tumblr, and Twitter out, it doesn't make you any less an idiot.

9392920
Porn is porn and that's all it should be. :derpytongue2:

9392972
Post a throw away comment and watch the cultists get pissed off with their own worthless bandwagon vocabulary. :trollestia:

Oh, and a response from the currently most popular author on the site.
farm8.staticflickr.com/7910/46618541192_232cdbee94_c.jpg

ethical sex-positive porn

Only now, after reading the blog post and noticing that bit in the description do the drawn-out story, dull sex scene and general awkwardness make sense.
Seriously, I've read and enjoyed quite a few clopfics that I'd describe as sex-positive and they managed to be fun, wholesome and include anatomical expressions without boasting about their special value. And they even managed to depict their characters as not seriouly impaired, because Twi sounds more like she's suffering from a stroke than social awkwardness.

The biggest irony perhaps is that out of all recent romances this one made me slightly uncomfortable with it's repeating mentions of alcohol as a social stimulant.

9393312
Brainwashed? Hon, I'm not the one who believes in Patriarchy theory, the Male Gaze, worship women as a whole, or be jealous of other people's success like Mr Numbers in his blog post. You're not seeing the forest through the trees.

And that other author? Numbers would just love to have his work banned because it's all the srories he hates and they're much more popular than his own.

9393224

Alright. Back from my walkabout:

The biggest irony perhaps is that out of all recent romances this one made me slightly uncomfortable with it's repeating mentions of alcohol as a social stimulant.

Because I do take this seriously, in what way that alcohol was portrayed in this story made you uncomfortable? I thought I was careful to show neither character intended to coerce the other with it, only to deal with their own anxieties, and both characters made a specific show of sobering up before any romantic escalation occurred.

Is your problem that either of those intentions were poorly conveyed, or that you disagree with showing characters drinking to deal with social anxieties at all?

This piece has a very unusual narrative focus.

Bad porn focuses on the physicality, what explicit parts go where. Good porn focuses on on the sensations, the pleasure the characters are experiencing. This, though? It does none of these. The sensations are described in the build-up but not in the sex scenes; we only get descriptions of what the characters do, as if observing from the outside, and focus is not on the explicit parts. I have never seen porn written like this. And it feels authentic. Like, this is what sex actually feels like. I have never read anything like it.

I don't think the "Porn" tag is even appropriate. "Sex" tag and M rating - sure. But the story does not read like it was meant to titillate.

Also, going into this I did not expect to end up taking notes. So, thank you for writing it. There are only two other stories where that happened - and one of them, "Ember's", is also a ponyfic.

Yoooooo! I really appreciate what you worked to express in this fic, and I think you did a great job Numbers. I'm so selective in what I read that I admittedly lack any proper capacity to evaluate what's typical of this site in respect to erotica, but it's without a doubt that there are many people that could benefit from trying to develop this kind of conscientiousness. Glancing at some of the other comments that have been made, it's disappointing to see others rejecting it because you were vocal about your intent, values, and ethos. I think if I were to pose a question to those that were either upset or felt attacked by what this story strives to accomplish, I would question what the harm is in trying to develop and represent what is effectively a healthier depiction and understanding of relationships. Surely that's something everyone can be better off for working on. I think it's a mistake to take any effort to explore that as a personal attack instead of a healthy critique.

The way Twilight had looked at her just then had made her feel possessive. It had been infatuation that led her this far; but those eyes made her need Twilight. Not as something to be taken, but as something she needed to be freely given.

This! 👏 This! 👏 This! 👏 Ah—while, as I said, I haven't read much erotica on this site, I have encountered other accounts of sex-positivity that very intently express significant practices like on-going consent and such. But for me it was this particular dimension of consideration that really stood out as novel; it's something that I don't remember encountering outside of Le Guin's The Dispossessed tbh, and I also appreciate how you followed up on this concept in your blog post. I agree that we should resist reducing each other to instrumental or exploitative contexts, and that we should endeavor to discover and develop modes of mutual liberation through expressions of trust and solidarity as free actors.

Keep up the awesome work.

This piece was absolutely wonderful and my only regret is not reading it sooner. Damn numbers, we need more of those!

Login or register to comment