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Sunset Shimmer just wants to take it easy at her new high school, get her spot at the food chain set up, maybe beat up a few jocks, and dating the popular girl who won't stop making eyes at her would really bring it all together. Then what starts as a plan to save the girl she... let's say "really likes" from her worst enemy/best friend goes way further than Sunset ever imagined.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Generic high school drama? Everything from the story summary to the story doesn’t make much sense.
it's good, I like it.
YAY! Heathers
Is Sunset J.D in this case?
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Nope. It's 100% a Heathers crossover, which means around chapter four, things are going to take a swerve.
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I mean, obviously. She's new to the school, and the blast few paragraphs are basically "Fight for Me" without Starlight/Veronica's gushing.
However, I'm not a total hack and won't just be retelling Heathers but with cute casting changes. The story is going to take a few turns the original and the musical didn't, and I hope you enjoy it.
(When I read the description)
Russo-japaness war colorized
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Well no duh, she doesn't hav the same tragic backstory as J (Freeze My Brain) D...
I am very interested in seeing how this will turn out.
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*Looks at the next chapter.* Funny how you mention Freeze Your Brain.
This isn't bad so far! I liked Sunset's dialogue in that first scene
That it opens by kinda mimicking a sequence from the musical early on is a bit distressing, though? There's already some deviation so far, which is good, but it does make me a little leery of the rest becoming a bit uninspired.
But while I'm also, like, on the one hand, disappointed the character tags suggest the Heathers analogues are Flower Ponies, not the Dazzlings, that definitely makes it feel more unconventional and less derivative, as does having Starlight be the Veronica, so I'm optimistic.
Will definitely be keeping an eye on this!
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Thanks, and I feel you on fears of becoming derivative. Like, if you just want Heathers but MLP, ADisneyFanatic did some great PMVs. Still, I feel I need to do some obvious hat tips early on. But by chapter three, we should be going deep off the rails.
A good start, I'd say! Looking forward to the coming chapters.
Thanks for awesome chaptor!) Waiting for next part)
Heather's? What's that?
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It's my favorite musical and a very good movie that's been stuck in my head for months.
This chapter didn't quite click with me, and I think that was entirely the camera's fault. It being magic, I'm fine with--as the blog post said, it's a nice way to make use of the Equestria Girls world to differentiate this story from canon Heathers. And, to be honest, I'm not sure I could see Sunset as she's been shown thus far poisoning Rose, so giving her an alternative is a sensible decision.
That being said.
I think, first of all, Sunset's attitude towards being transported to the white void didn't feel believable at all to me. She has been fairly unflappable throughout the rest of the story, so her not flat-out panicking fits to me, but the way she took it all in stride and narrated it so matter-of-factly didn't, to me, feel like the response of someone who'd just been exposed to magic for the first time.
And, as a whole, while I like the idea of the magical camera being the alternative solution in this telling of things, it felt awfully contrived/convenient here. The first glimpse of magic in a story that's otherwise been totally devoid of it, and it just so happens to be something that helps them out right before they could potentially use it? I'm not opposed to the idea of the camera, but its implementation here didn't sit right with me.
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Yeah, I can definitely see the criticism of Sunset being too unflappable when exposed to magic for the first time, and I think I'll try to modify the relating paragraphs to give her a little bit more of a WTF reaction when I wake up tomorrow.
And as for the camera being convenient? True, it's super convenient. It's what I need so Sunset and Starlight don't turn into actual murderers, just implied ones, and it also keeps the story from completely imitating the source material. But also, the convenience seems about right for all the trouble it's going to cause. Like, its about as convenient as Seymour learning in Little Shop of Horrors that Audrey II can eat people right after he hits things off with Audrey and right before he sees Orin is an abusive jerk, aka, right when listening to a sweet talking murder plant sounds most appealing.
On the other hand, at that point the audience already accepted the buy-in of "blood-drinking, kind of magic plant," seen it grow, and A2 talking is just an escalation of that initial buy-in, while we just had the magic camera buy-in occur the same chapter it's utilized.
I'll think about some way to mitigate that, and sorry for roughness. For my earlier stories I had pre-readers who would tell me that stuff, but I've lost touch with them, so I've only got my own eyes and insights working on this one.
I'm liking the camera idea actually. Even though it s a magical item, it seems like a more realistic route than straight up murdering someone, because it's more morally gray. It's still bad of course, but it seems like a more reasonable approach compared to murder.
Sunset and Starlight have gone power mad. This is getting good. I'm reading this with very little knowledge of heathers, so it's going to be interesting to see what the total photo count will be at the end of this.
Wait until you see the next chapter!
I don't think Lily is so bad. Without the Big Dogs, she might even become her own person. Of course, Starlight is a Magic Solves Everything person in Canon, so I suppose throwing magic at her to snip the potential further problems from growing is regrettably in character
. At least, regrettable to me. 
And yes, I know this is a crossover, and so has to plots to follow.
Oh, I'm making some pretty big divergences from the sources at this point. Like, in Heathers, Veronica's either broken up with or thinking about breaking up with JD depending on if it's the movie or musical, and there wouldn't be anymore victims. That's clearly not the case here.
Maaan, Starlight is just a complete sociopath ain't she?
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This is the same girl who enslaved an entire town because her best friend left her to go to magic school. To say she has issues with abandonment would be an understatement.
However, I don't think she has antisocial personality disorder. She's definitely is on the personality disorder spectrum, she definitely focuses on cluster B, which is the same node antisocial is, but she checks a lot more boxes for borderline and narcissistic than antisocial.
Immediate favourite.
I wasn’t expecting this to be the last chapter. I was interested in seeing what happens next, and how Sunset deals with it. The scene with Daisy a few chapters back was brilliant, I thought. Good story, I’ll be watching for sequels, o author.
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Thanks! I really liked writing the scene with Daisy. Hopefully, I retold the story of Heathers in a way where it felt fresh, new, and true to my versions of the mains, but also made it clear that I adore the film/musical and all changes are made with love to the source material.
nice ending looking forward to see where it goes.
Thank you for this awesome story!)
The therapy idea is especially interesting.
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Therapy idea?
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Happy to provide it.
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The one you described with Starlight in the Author's Notes.
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Oh yeah. Well, it might have to wait a while as I want to maybe finish the rough draft for a novel. But I have a feeling I'll crack and start Glimmerdemption before then.
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Sounds great!
I don't know if it was your intention, but I'm definitely getting season 5 Starlight vibes here. The need to control people (rather than brainwashing, it's weeding out assholes), the speeches... all in the name of wanting to be herself. That's not to say she wasn't being looked down upon for being herself, but she's taken that reason and twisted it into a reason to 'kill'. Interesting!
Can't imagine what it'd be like to be Sunburst. He was friends with someone when he was middle school who showed signs concerning enough to be committed, only to have that person suddenly pop back into your life years later to photo-nap you. Damn.
'I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely feel for Sunset here, she tried to put a stop to it, but it was too little, too late, and now she's in the deepest of doo doo.
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I had her say we can make this "Our town," so I wasn't trying to be subtle about drawing parallels to her season five version.
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Ahhhh, right! I read that, but it didn't register as a direct reference. Nice!
Sunset comparing her situation to her mom's and dad's, that was a nice touch!
A beautifully tragic ending. So while Sunset didn't get her happy ending, she didn't leave others to suffer in her stead like her mom did, but instead knew she was going down, and decided to take Starlight down with her. Nicely done! I'm looking forward to the sequel!
This was an interesting story!
Something that didn't quite work for me was how the narration so often felt sorta flat. Not to say it was bad, just that the prose itself rarely stood out to me, and the matter-of-fact-ness of it I think left some scenes kind of lacking (Daisy's scene with the pills springs to mind), and while it might have had more to do with me reading the story on-and-off and possibly forgetting bits, towards the end I really found myself wanting more descriptions of the scenery than I was getting. The disassociation bit with Sunset, I thought really stood out as a place where the narration was actually interesting in its own right, which, while I did like, threw me for quite a bit of a loop at first just because it was unusual for the story.
I definitely liked the way things started to diverge from Heathers later on, though--although that did, at least for me, make some of the parts where it did follow Heathers pretty closely (The Hoops and Score picture-taking scene, for instance) feel almost disappointing. But I don't think there were too many of those, fortunately.
Starlight, I thought ended up being the high point, which is weird to say because I liked Sunset a lot more than her earlier on in the story, but once her screwed-up-ness started showing itself more, I just really enjoyed her personality.
This was nicely done
Thanks for writing it!
9445669
Thanks, and I feel you on the prose. I've noticed that outside my memoir, my prose has turned excessively technical. It's competent, there's occasionally some clever word play, but it doesn't have much feeling to it. Like, the imagery mostly comes across in a sort of staging way, characters hit their marks, but it doesn't feel exciting or compelling to me. I miss the excitement the prose had back when I started writing Sweetie Belle.
Still, glad you overall liked it, and writing Starlight after her psyche really started to crack was a blast! Hopefully, the story where I try to put her back together again will be decent and I'll have figured out my prose issue by then. And obviously, you liked Starlight more towards the end because the duster has a massive charisma boost but just drinks up san.
“Just you,” the girl that mattered said
That's a nice bit. Offhand, mildly sociopathic.
I read your previous work with great interest, and this didn't dissapoint. I will put this in my favourites and wait eagerly for the sequels.
Got really confused there, is Sunset and her dad switch dialogues on purposed?
10457139
It's a reference to the original to show JD and his Dad's messed up relationship. I overused it a bit and if I were reediting toning it down would be a priority.
The magic camera reminds me of an episode of goosebumps
I was JUST mentally casting a Heathers/EQG crossover; what a coincidence!
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Well, hope you enjoy. Was super funny to see a Posada portrait