• Member Since 16th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen Yesterday

WhalenJP


Don't mind me, just a man diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, ADD, Asperger's, And Autism looking to write some stories. It Is All Pure Imagination...

Sequels1

E

It's the same old story these days; Brony goes to a convention, wearing the costume of their favorite game or movie character, buys something and gets teleported to a world full of friendly ponies becoming said character, story becomes an adventure with comedy or romance. Maybe an evil villain once or twice...

Got all that? Good. Because I got sent to Equestria Girls as Alfred Molina's Doc Ock From Spider Man 2!!!

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 106 )

Author Verbatim:

It's the same old story these days; Brony goes to a convention, wearing the costume of their favorite game or movie character, buys something from a shady Merchant and gets teleported to a world full of friendly ponies becoming said character, story becomes an adventure with comedy or romance. Maybe an evil villain once or twice...

Displaced Community: o wowz this is an sooper crative and orijinal fan fiction maor plx im totez an machure grown-up

Acknowledging that your premise is overdone does not make it any less overdone. I don't even think it's an exaggeration anymore that Displaced is the most common type of fic on the entire site now due to how easy it is to write a "good" (Read: Appeal to the target demographic who don't know any better) Displaced fic compared to writing something with actual quality.

Seriously, even the premise itself lends itself to be easily writeable. Take property A, take a character from said property, rip any sense of personality from them and replace them with whatever kind of personality you want. Throw them into the continuity of property B (In this case, MLP.) and just have them tag along with canon events, maybe changing a few things so it's not a complete retread.

Bada-bing, bada-boom you got yourself a "successful" fanfic. This is like the fucking asset flip of Fimfiction with how lazy this shit is and I will never tire of telling people to write literally anything else.

Comment posted by WhalenJP deleted Oct 23rd, 2018

9247927
it's not that creative, I just thought randomly for it. Sorry if the story looks crap.

9248249

but that doesn't mean you have the right to criticize my work

If you didn't want public reactions to your work, why are you posting it on a public forum?

9248249

Look, I get it that there is all kinds of fanfics out there, but that doesn't mean you have the right to criticize my work.

Fascist says what?

This is what popped into my head, and I wrote it as I went along, hell, this story was in WALLTEXT for crying out loud!

OOOHHH! It was in walltext! Hey everyone, looks like free speech doesn’t apply to anyone if the author’s story was once walltext!/s

I suggest that you understand that some people who write these fanfics want to try and get their imagination out there, this is mine.

That’s the thing though. These stories aren’t the least bit imaginative. The fact that your own description showcases how dime-a-dozen these stories are proves this.

I'm just showing you what I imagined and created, OK? I just like writing things out. I'm not angry, I just don't like it when people hate me for what I create.

We’re not hating you for what you create. We simply hate what you create. World of difference.

I'd have to say that it's probably for the best if you listen to criticism. It is, after all, one of the best ways to improve.

9248249

but that doesn't mean you have the right to criticize my work.

Disregarding the right to free speech (As this is a privately owned site and hence does not have to follow those regulations.), point to the rule on Fimfiction that says I can't criticize your work. I'll wait.

Exactly.

I'm just showing you what I imagined and created, OK?

You can surely do better than Displaced, then. I'm not asking for War and Peace here, but Displaced is the bottom of the barrel in term of imagination and creativity.

I'm not angry, I just don't like it when people hate me for what I create.

Who said I hated you, the person behind the screen? Sure, my comment is harsh, but I never said anything along the lines of "You suck at writing." Surely you can recognize the difference between a harshly worded comment about how generic your premise is and a personal attack, right?

Like I get it, getting shit for writing something sucks. I used to write too, you know. I put what felt like my heart and soul into things and it never panned out as expected.

That's because 75% of my writing is fucking garbage. I'm not saying yours is by comparison, hell all Displaced looks the fucking same to me at this point, but there's certainly improvement to be made, you know? You don't just start of immensely good at writing, you have to fuck up a few times, maybe get some criticism, improve, write better, learn how to properly structure a story, etc. etc.

Do you think I managed to write something like Fluttershy Kicks Puppies without writing another 10 trash stories that never even came close to it in quality? Because I sure as hell had to write a bunch of crap before something clicked. Even then, I still fuck up my own writing a lot.

Ah, this is going on for too long. Just like, stop takin' it personally. It's just a fanficition lad, not your magnum opus life's work. You'll forget you wrote this in like 5 years anyway.

9248335
you're right, not everyone has awesome writing skills, they do their best. I also apologize for not knowing the difference, I am an idiot at knowing expressions and social cues.

9248334
Telling someone something is crap doesn’t help much. Pointing out why it’s crap does. I’ve seen no statements other than ‘this trope is done to death.’

9248779
If you're looking for someone to hold your hand and make you feel better, have you tried deviantart or wattpad?

9248857
Funny, you act like I’m still writing. I lost interest in writing a while ago. Doesn’t mean I don’t know when criticism is constructive or not.

Dont worry there are people who support you!!!😊😋😊😋😊😋

9248779
This was a republish of a story he previously uploaded, where I pointed out how to properly separate dialogue and actions in paragraphs for better readability.

92 Word Prologue....

Oh, how I’ve missed trollfics

9248857
Wattpad, but that is other fanfic nonmlp related.

9248996
I might add more if you want.

9248972
Hey! I remember you! Thank you for showing me how to write! I will shoutout to you on this fic and my YouTube Channel. It's the same as my account name, so it'll be easier.:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

9248996
Trollolololololo!!! Dodododoo

I like this story and how you made each arm have it's somewhat of there own personality
Edit why the dislike

9249951
It was an idea I got from reading Doc Ock fanfics, more specifically " How Do I Love Thee?" It was a perfect combination of hilarity and seriousness mixed together.

9248779
THANK YOU! Finally someone gets it! :flutterrage:

A few minor errors here and there, but otherwise this story is good. Keep it coming lad.

It's short, it's to the point if a bit vague. All in all, a well done prologue.

So far so good. I like it.

May I offer some dialogue options for 'Otto's' encounter with Gaea Everfree in a Private Message?

9258853
Sure. I might add it in to the stuff I already got.

A little bit fast in my opinion, but very good. Keep going!

I do agree with 9259315, and here's some advice. It's best to just write the way you write. You can't appease everyone; even if you're story has 'something for everyone' there will be people that don't like your story.

HEEEY! It has more likes than dislikes time FOR
CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

9261505
No. They said "CELIBRATION". And they mean celebration

I don't get how so many people don't like this. Story that continues to be made is always better than one that is cancelled. And what ever problems this apparently has are nothing compared to grammar nigthmare mary sue that Talion in eguestria fic was last I checked. I curse my patience for reading as far as I did just for the eventual actual figth scene that also ended being horrible.

9261505 *INSERT WILL RYAN OF DAGAMES* OH FOR THE LOVE OF!!! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

9261747
It has a lot of dislikes all because it's a "Displaced" and that it used the merchant and comic con as it's start. A lot of people tend to judge chapter 1 or it's description instead of judging it when it has more chapters.

I quite like this story so far. Looking forward to seeing what you do with it.

9263172
Well, according to someone from another displaced story’s comment section...’we are easy to please’

9263394
Lol, if that was the case, all the displaced stories would end up getting a lot of likes, easily, including mock displaced stories.

9261713
You know a Celebration is just another way of saying party...right?

9263509
I take things too literally. Makes easy to make bad jokes from other peoples conversations but I only do that with my native language, so I guess that was my bad attemt at being grammar nazi?

Comment posted by Raccoon Writer deleted Oct 31st, 2018
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