I’m redoing this story from the ground up. You can find the replacement story here.
Hi name used to be ___. I go by the name of Shade. Anyway I was just at home and I finally decided to get an account in fimfiction.net, Taken-By-Insanity, and when I was done there was a flash of light, now I'm here in Griffin Stone at the edge of Equestria. How intriguing. Did I forget to mention I am now an anthro changeling queen by the looks of it. Also I am in that huge canyon that a huge skull and that super important goblet made of gold. Blood cupcakes sound nice right now....That was odd. Anyways I also seem to have a weakness to the light as well as order magic, which is luckily barely ever used.
Chapters (12)
Get an editor, don't rush it, and get an original idea. That's all for now.
I don't really know if you just want to explain your actual situation (so you must do it in author section before you start or in the end of your story description) or if you insert yourself in your story (so give more details than just : "" I am xxxx and I was in my room then black out. "" because your readers cannot dive in your story).
Then, the mistakes :
line 1 : anyways your here -> anyways you're here OR anyways you are here
This is an example of a comment an editor and a proof reader can make. This will improve not only your writing skills but your understanding of what is a good story. Plus, get a look in the Writing Guide written by Ezn.
So if you want to improve, first take time to re-read, second ask for help if you are new to the community and the job in itself.
My suggestion is to not make your character invincible. Give yourself some challenges or weaknesses you have to overcome in Equestria. Excessively powerful characters make your readers less likely to appreciate the story. Overpowered characters easily become "Mary Sues" (characters who are too 'perfect' and lack originality) and you will want to avoid this. Since the concept of humans in Equestria is already popular on this site, make your character stand out in an original way.
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"Anyway" (gotta laugh at yourself too, right?
oh nooo it was sooooooo gooooood
I'm just experiencing writers block. I will come back soon.
Yea you have nothing to worry about.
Rushed and cliched. You might want to study some of the successful fics and find out why/how they became successful before continuing.
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I'm sorry to barge in but a "Mary Sues” is an oc or a character that is op in the words meaning. but from what I've read this oc is not a "Mary Sues”
she is emotionally unstable. again I'm sorry
I've read this 32th time and it is still good
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I'm not sure where this cliche started, but having an imaginary conversation with a fictional character is kinda cringey. Not ha-ha cringey, but /r9k/ cringey.
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Almost everything has been done so its kinda hard to have an original idea😕
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Sad but true.
Mortal minds can only think so much before there is nothing original left to think of. The same thing happens with immortals even.
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I mean the pinkie 4th wall breaking meme, in my opinion, it's overused, to the point where it's in almost every successful story. Not every, but a lot of them do have her. But there are cases where she's just... IS there... But she isn't at the same time. Like the copy from the show. I mean WHY do you need her to break EVERY kind of logic that exists? Isn't things that she's doing NOT enough?
P.s. sorry for a lot of salt. I like pinkie as she is, I approve it when people use her to hype people for the next chapter, or something epic to happen in the story. But using her for just some non-sense talk? I see no point...
space slug no like salt
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Well i do have 2 ideas but my computer died
What sounds better
A changeling that has been secretly buying out companys to take conrol of equestria
Or
Death taking a vaction to just to screw around with the ponies😎
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Death taking a vacation to just screw around with the ponies.
storyline seems a bit weak so far... needs an actual long-term goal... or at least a side-quest... TACTICAL OC!!!!!
(in other words, I get the feeling that having yet another semi-omnipotent character in the mix, particularly as a rival or opponent to the main character, might greatly increase the entertainment value of this story.)
but that's just my guess. go ahead and do whatever ya want. although an overall rewrite on the story as a whole might be a good idea too...
I don't think I'll actually read it until it's edited and finished, but those chapter names are BRILLIANT.
Tracking!
Most people who dislike this Story are focusing too much on grammar and an deep story while all those who like just care about the story. Did I forgot to list something off?
...
OMNI:My love.Take it all...
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What?
Nice
Interesting
Nom
Nom
Nom
Yeah! Got the third nom
Wut.exe has stopped working
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You good?
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*Currently rebooting*
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*Rebooting 97% complete
This is just so hilariously bad and I love it anyway! Although, you should add more detail to your chapters, this one went way too fast.
Me likey
Yay first!
But I digress grate chapter S+ for superior rating. PS rember our reality is just different than there's
Good, very good like song choices so far and first comment again, the chaos in me is grinning like a manic and says "please...continue?" then bursts out laughing as if it had played some joke that only we understand but we say well written keep. it. up
What the heck just happened?!
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Stuff.
Heya guys. I was curious, would you guys think it’d be nice if Shade’s new family had a criminal side and the next chapter or after she joins them? If so then like this comment, if you’re against it then please dislike it.
Have a wonderful and crazy day/night everyone!
Kinda liked the old version more.
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Well. While there was a goal of some type Shade was a little too powerful so I had to do something about it. Technically this isn’t a new version but the results of my intervention.
If it was a new version this would be cancelled with a new one replacing it or the chapters were deleted and new chapters were put in place of them.
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I meant the random changeling queen/Pinkie-Pie hybrid.
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So when Shade had full on chaos magic and could do anything to reality?
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I’m afraid I can’t say anything about that without spoiling it.
Minor mistake made in this paragraph
Damn it luna
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I suggest grammarly to catch the errors
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Funny thing is I’ve been using it for a little while now. Though, I haven’t fixed errors in past chapters. I probably should do that.
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It's supposed to be a weekly thing in that context
what even is this story?
is it shitpost?
oh god i hope its shitpost and not serious