• Member Since 27th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Deathscar


You'd be surprised at the emotions twenty-six letters can unearth

E
Source

Back when she was a filly, Tempest made the decision to run away from her home. Away from those that loved her. And, unknowingly, began a path of harm and ruin. Now, years later, Tempest has achieved what she never thought possible. She's in a wonderful relationship and is surrounded by close friends. And, most importantly, she thought she had finally escaped her past.

However, during the annual Hearthfire visits for Hearth's Warming, she's suddenly asked to return to Wintertide village, the place of her birth. In just under a week, she has to make a choice. Face her past.

Or sacrifice the present.


Written for the Sunset Shimmer Shipping Contest: Journeys.

Cover art is drawn by Arctic Waters and can be found here!

And thank you so much to adgerelli and Krickis for helping me proofread this story!

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 19 )

Too melodramatic for my liking. I felt like the first half of the third chapter had been excessive, pushing a little too far.

And as a shipping/romance story, it fell a little short for me as well. The story seemed more focused on Tempest/Fizzle and her fear about facing her past and home, with the romance between her and Sunset being a secondary plot, and even then, not very developed. I admit that it may be me, but I never really felt like there was a moment that felt like a genuine romantic couple.

I do like some of what is there, and I see potential in the story, but I just think it could be better.

9141051
Ah, sorry that this story didn't work so well for you. But still, thank you for taking the time to read it and raise some detailed feedback! :) And I'm glad you saw some potential in it! :twilightsmile:

Gosh I love your writing style!
I wish there was a bigger word limit because I can feel that you had a lot more built inside your head... In any case, I can't wait to read the rest!

I really, really enjoyed it.
Very nice work Scar, this story was very good.

AJ is 100% right. Also going behind the back of someone with trust issues is kinda moronic.

9143315
Exactly. Though Tempest's reaction was a little extreme, she was entirely in the right here.

I liked it, but feel it could have used one or two more chapters. I feel like we didn't get a very good resolution to the main conflict. How do they react? Does it help? Just a few questions I feel were left unanswered and could be worth exploring.

For me, I absolutely loved the ambiguity of the ending. It felt like the story was more about Tempest making that step rather than the resolution of it. Regardless of the outcome, this as a huge step forward for her.

Damnit, Luna. This is Fizzy's story. Stop stealing the show!

I like where this is heading.

Luna, ever the chessmaster...

This was good. I like that the focus was on Fizz actually doing the thing rather than the thing happening. I think a bit more in the vein of just what Fizz did through your dream sequences and flashbacks would have added some more impact, but otherwise, you put the attention where it was needed most.

9202112
Thank you for reading it! And yeah, I can definitely see your point. Focusing more on what Tempest did to earn all the drama that happened would've definitely helped reinforced the theme and message. Still though, I'm super happy you liked it! :twilightsmile:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Is this part of a continuity? :O Because it sure feels like one, and I think I'd like to see how everyone got to where they are at the start of this chapter!

I don’t need to be an Element of Empathy

I mean, like this? Seriously?

9319229
Hehe no, it's not a sequel to anything. This is just a standalone :) As for that line, that's coming from the confirmation that Sunset represents the Element of Empathy in the EqG world, so I'm just bringing that over!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Am I right in noticing that everyone calls her Fizzlepop, except Tempest herself? :)

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

It was at least melodramatic enough for my liking. :D This is the kind of Tempest fic I wanna see!

9319330
Thank you! Fixed! :) And good observation ;)

9319338
I'm glad! And yay! Tempest is extremely under-represented! She has so much room for interesting exploration!

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