Story Reviews » SA: Round 171 · 3:10am May 19th, 2020
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
A lone figure topped the rise, then looked down at the ramshackle town situated below. An errant gust of wind blew the sand upwards as he readjusted his goggles and the red scarf that covered the lower half of his face. He scanned the town for the dive bar his sources had told him would be here. Where he might find...him.
The figure stumbled down the rise, into the town proper. The bar was unmistakable, with various indescribable vehicles parked outside, all weathered by the sand and wind. A large skull of some long-ago creature adorned the top of the doorway, as the figure pushed inside.
All the patrons looked up and stared at the new arrival, as the man slowly unwound his scarf and removed his goggles. Piercing the crowd with a steely gaze, he made his way to the bar, where the barkeep watched him warily.
“What do you want, stranger?” he gruffly asked. Instead of immediately answering, the figure took out a picture and set it on the bar.
“I’m looking for this man. Name’s Matthew. Seen him?”
The barkeep’s eyes shrank to pinpricks at the mention of the name, and his face paled. Then, he simply pointed to a corner of the bar. “He...he’s over there.” The figure turned and stared into the corner. There, surrounded by a haze of cigar smoke, sat his quarry. A pink pony who’s mane looked like cotton candy sat across from him. Neither glanced up as he approached.
“I’m Winter_Solstice. You Matthew?”
The seated figure took a long puff of his cigar, blew out the smoke, and said, “I told you once.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did.”
“When?”
“Just now.”
“You didn’t!”
“Did so!”
“Boys!” cried the pink pony. “I think I can settle this. Give me the reviews.” Glaring daggers at each other, they each reached into their satchels and took out long, yellow envelopes. Stuffing both into her saddlebags, she hopped to her hooves and started out the door.
“Wait!” cried Winter. “You know where those go?”
She turned and smiled over her shoulder. “Of course! You two play nice!” She waved and hopped out of the bar.
ROUND 171
An alligator moves into the town's lake and begins to terrorize the townsponies. But fear not, Applejack's on the case... for a price...
I love a good Comedy, and this one didn't disappoint. I was grinning like an idiot the entire time I was reading, and some parts made me LOL.
The main premise is AJ's attempts to bag an alligator, for selfish reasons of her own. When she revealed those reasons was a LOL moment, as it was so unexpected. That's how I understand good Comedy to work: it takes you down one path, fills you with expectation, then abruptly switches gears.
Applejack channels Captain Quint from Jaws in the Town Hall where everypony is discussing what to do about the alligator, then, later on, she channels Homer Simpson in her futile attempts to kill the gator. Don't be eating or drinking anything while reading those parts, or you'll stain your monitor.
Compared to the other titles being reviewed here today, this was a lighthearted romp that easily relieved much of the tension. If you've a mind to read these stories yourself, I recommend leaving this one for last.
In the words of Adrian Monk, "You'll thank me later."
This is about what you would expect just from looking at it. An alligator moves into the lake, and who volunteers to get rid of it but Applejack?
The first thing that caught me off guard was what, exactly, AJ’s price was. What follows is a hilarious string of attempts and failures that are sure to at least crack a smile. The ending, in particular, was very unexpected and satisfying. I mean, hey, it still gives me a chuckle just thinking about it.
A time without war, a time without fear—until it isn’t.
A story for our time.
Even though I was the one who recommended this entry, I was reluctant to read it again. The author's summary says it best:
This is not a story about politics, or religion, or conspiracies, or aspersions. It is not about hatred, or race, or whatever it's been decided the acceptable targets are today. This is a story about anger, and regret, and the things we lose our grasp on in the dark.
A seemingly random act of unspeakable violence occurs in Canterlot, and I felt the same gut-wrenching emotions I felt when 9/11 happened while reading this. The author takes us through every emotion, every trauma, all the confusion we all went through as a nation on that day, which is why this story resonates so truly...and why I almost didn't read it again. It is my habit to reread stories I've prompted, to be able to remark on the tale with fresh eyes, to relate parts I might have missed in the first reading. Given what's happening in the world today with the virus, the ponies' reactions to the act of violence and their struggles to make sense of it could be read like a newspaper written this morning, even though this tale is almost two years old.
This story is one shock after another, told well, but with an almost clinical detachment. The author spares no feelings and pulls no punches. The reader is horrified, then comforted (somewhat) then...the ending comes.
You won't be able to prepare yourself for it.
Often, summing a story up into just one word is hard. Not so with Peaceable, which gets a solid “oof”.
AShadowOfCygnus doesn’t waste our time by showing us the tragedy, or the events leading up to it. No, instead we jump straight into the aftermath. The aftermath where the princesses and the officials struggle to determine what happened, the fear and worry of ponies unsure of their loved ones fate, and the terror of not knowing if it will happen again.
This is a character piece. An analysis of ‘how did we miss this?’ It focuses on guilt, it focuses on fear, it focuses on determination. But most of all, this story focuses on ponies coming together. Coming together to comfort each other, to show each other that they are not alone. On solidarity in the wake and midst of tragedy. On helping each other through pain and sorrow.
All this and more. And if I am to be honest, I think everyone should read this. No, needs to read this. Because it is a story for our time - and an important one.
Back when she was a filly, Tempest made the decision to run away from her home. Away from those that loved her. And, unknowingly, began a path of harm and ruin. Now, years later, Tempest has achieved what she never thought possible. She's in a wonderful relationship and is surrounded by close friends. And, most importantly, she thought she had finally escaped her past.
However, during the annual Hearthfire visits for Hearth's Warming, she's suddenly asked to return to Wintertide village, the place of her birth. In just under a week, she has to make a choice. Face her past.
Or sacrifice the present.
Far too often, in the show, the villain is reformed without so much as a harsh word, a trait I've always found irritating. I do, of course, realize the show is ultimately for children, so I pass it off as such.
Then there's this story.
All the characters are fully formed and three dimensional, and that's where the magic happens. Here, we are taken into Tempest's head and given a realistic glimpse into guilt, sadness, fear, and unworthiness. Tempest is not one of my favorite ponies, so it surprised me to actually feel empathy for her. The author ships her with Sunset Shimmer, a move that also surprised me, as I'd never considered the two of them together.
But it works.
Without giving too much away, Tempest could only have reached her decision with Sunset's help, as misguided as it was. And the ending was perfect, one I wasn't expecting but welcome all the same. There's no neat little bow tied to the end...the outcome is...well...read it for yourself and see.
Contrary to the majority of the shipping stories I read on this site, Hearthfire does not show Tempest and Sunset getting together. Rather, they are already in a relationship, experiencing a rather major… hiccup.
And yet it is not focused on the relationship as much as it is on Tempest. It focuses on her fear, her guilt, her reactions, and her struggle. The focus is on Tempest doing the thing, rather than the thing itself. And that’s what makes the story so good. And the ending so… unsatisfyingly satisfying - so perfect.
Sunset: devotee of fire, mage of the flame. Sea Swirl: water shaman, mage of the sea. Neither seems to be a good fit for the other, yet time has forged their bond unbreakable. However, once they both journey into the deep…
Now then, here we have an adventure that was a bit hard to follow at first. This was my first time reading a story about Sea Swirl, so I don't know if her characterization here is spot-on, but it was interesting all the same. In this tale, unicorns are referred to as shaman, and each has his or her own particular magic that is once removed from the show, but still fascinating. I'm thinking the author borrowed the idea of Water and Fire magic from Avatar: The Last Airbender, but the idea fits well into the world here built.
This is an adventure, a romance, and a tale of redemption. Or rather, the attempt at redemption for Sunset's part, for she has committed an act that appears to have been an accident, but one so heinous Celestia expels her from the school. That school being the University of Kuda, not Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, which apparently does not exist in this world, a departure from canon. As I mentioned, it takes some time to fully understand this alternate universe, but once you do you'll find yourself hooked.
The adventure part takes place in the ocean, and there were scenes that rubbed right up against my fear of deep water, so the terror I felt for the two characters was quite real. The author does an excellent job of portraying the horror of the depths, so even someone who doesn't have my particular phobia will feel it. I'm honestly not sure if Sunset is brave or foolhardy in her attempts to retrieve the Everlasting Fire from the ocean, but thankfully for her, she wasn't alone, even though she'd insisted she could make the attempt by herself.
In the end, only one of the themes was resolved. Such, I feel, was the author's intention.
Impossible Numbers is one of those guys I’m always surprised by. Surprised because of just how few views his stories get with their massive quality. And Quenchless Fire does not disappoint. At all.
This is a story about Sunset, although not the Sunset we know. Set in an entirely alternate universe where Celestia is but the archchancellor of the University of Kuda, Sunset is routinely assigned dangerous quests and retrievals of artifacts as punishment for her mistakes - to redeem herself after her ambition nearly killed dozens of ponies. The quest of this story, however, she cannot accomplish alone. Her element of focus is fire, and her goal is underwater.
What follows is a wonderful short story about Sunset’s determination to prove herself, about her relationship with Sea Swirl, and learning what in life is truly important. As well as learning more about Sunset’s backstory in this world as it pertains to current events.
But we all know what the most important measure of IN’s skill as an author is: that perfect word count.
Matthew stared.
Winter_Solstice stared back.
Neither had made a move in the last three hours, each willing the other to break the silence first. It was a battle between two unstoppable and immovable forces, between two people who refused to give in until the end of days, when the oceans rose and the nations of the world had fallen, when naught was left but a barren wasteland and the sun itself had gone out, until death itself performed its final act and died.
But as the clock ran another two minutes lower, Winter_Solstice gave in. “Knight to E5. Check. Mate in one move”
Matthew looked at the board, inwardly cursing. He did the only move he could. “Bishop to E5.”
Winter_Solstice smiled at him, a smile of victory and of pride. A smile that contained only one meaning, a meaning that transcended time and space itself: I win. “I yield,” he said, and tipped his king, leaving nothing but a stunned husk once called Matthew across from him.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
"Oof" is right. Ain't had a fic fuck me up that hard since Biblical Monsters
To date, "Peaceable Kingdom" is the only piece of fiction that hit me so hard I physically threw my reading device. That story dragged me through a briar patch, gently patted my bleeding wounds, then pulled out a knife and eviscerated me. It's also one of the best fics in the fandom and an all-time favorite. I can't believe it's got a low enough view count to qualify for S.A. in the first place. World ain't fair, man.
Glad to see Winter_Solstice on board!
--Sweetie Belle
5265040
Biblical Monsters is... one I've resigned myself to never reading for precisely the reaction you had to it. I don't hold anything against it, there's just some 'oof's I don't need, ya know? Id probably love it after reading it, but the actual reading is quite the... experience, from what literally everyone says.
And yeah, I'm kinda surprised Peaceable is eligible too, tbh. It seriously deserves more attention.
5265040
In my Library, I have a folder called 'The Very Best,' and this story easily made the list. But not because I enjoyed it, because I didn't, but because of the range of emotions it put me through. This is a tale that truly shows the emotive power of words, but I hope you'll forgive me for the trauma it put you through.
I think it was worth it.
5265070
Thank you!
Peaceable Kingdom... the only words I can use, and it is horribly inadequate, are 'Oh, wow!'
Immediate entry to my Favorite file.
THAT is a good story. If you have not read it, DO SO!
Well, well, well, just when you're pretty much thinking a fic's consigned to a cryogenic chamber, someone thaws it out and lets it out for a brisk run.
Now you mention it, I do seem to pop up on here a bit, don't I? I'm starting to wonder if I am the most frequently featured author in these Seattle's Angels reviews. This marks my eighth review since records began.
Although, in this case, the low viewership's at least easy to explain. Quenchless Fire was originally published under an alt account (long since deleted), which had a much smaller following. I sent it to Equestria Daily, but it didn't attract much attention there either. By the time I changed my mind and had the fic transferred to my main account, months had already come and gone, which meant the initial buzz and the Equestria Daily feature was as good as it was going to get.
Add in the obscure pairing, the AU tag, the fact it didn't rank high in the original contest, and the not exactly artistically breathtaking cover, and I'm honestly not surprised it didn't attract much attention.
Phew... Finally, someone who sees what I was doing. Between PresentPerfect and Winter_Solstice, I'm amazed how many reviewers seem to have trouble with the AU aspect. What I thought was the case was that AU served as a chance to reset the stage in any kind of configuration, but some people seem to incline to putting it in a strictly narrow "alternate history of canon" framework, and I'm not 100% sure why. It's not as if the "complete reset button AU fic" has any alternative tag to rely upon.
Alas (or hooray, from a fanficking POV), canon doesn't exactly provide rich fodder for a background filler like her. I peppered the fic with a few references to her more notable in-show appearances (for instance, the knight imagery came specifically from her costume in "Luna Eclipsed", and the buckball tryout scene is based on her cameo in "Buckball Season"), but there isn't a fanon consensus on how to depict her, as far as I'm aware. A lot of background ponies never rose to the level of Derpy or Octavia, after all.
Understandable, but no. Much as I like that show, both me and they drew upon an extremely ancient and familiar idea of the elements of the world (the whole "earth, fire, air, and water" deal dates back to classical times), and the water-fire dichotomy makes for an obvious, familiar thematic duo with a long pedigree in fiction. That's how I came to use Sea Swirl in the first place: Sunset's fire-influenced design immediately had me looking for a thematic opposite to pair her up with.
Remember, the sea is just as afraid of you as you are of it.
(Interesting, though: wonder if I should do horror more often...)
PresentPerfect commented on that too, and the answer is: Yes. Although I probably overplayed the mystery angle a bit too much, the intention was always that Sunset would conclude she didn't get Sea Swirl or her fascination with water. It was an attempt at a bittersweet ending, especially given that they both fail the quest they were sent to complete.
Strict word limit in the contest + Impossible Numbers = What else would you expect?
Must confess I had to cheat a bit with hyphenated words and a few missed spaces to indicate fast-paced shouting. No one ever said I played fair.
All in all, thank you both for the review double-bill. Always reassuring to be considered a writer of quality, if alas a somewhat obscure one. Thanks again.
Holy crap, thank you so much for featuring Hearthfire and Wintertides! It's so nice to hear that the readers liked it (and it brings me so much happiness you don't even know). <3 You guys are amazing, thank you so so much.
5265781
If evoking such terrifying images was a casual effort on your part, you should definitely write Horror. My thalassophobia means I don't go anywhere near the ocean, or even dark swimming pools, so go nuts.
As far as the AU aspect of your story, it caught me off-guard because I didn't expect it. I would read "Sunset the shaman" and go "wait...what was that again?" The same went for "Arch Chancellor Celestia" causing another double-take. I'm a bit slow at times, but I did eventually figure it out.
5266086
The funny part of all this horror talk is that I got featured on the Royal Canterlot Library for a horror fic once, and I wasn't even trying to be a notable author in the genre (I'd have been better represented by a Slice-of-Life, frankly). It was just one experiment among many genres at the time. But now you mention it, supposing I did build on that more? Food for thought, with a side order of intrigue.
Re: the AU side of things: understandable enough. What I usually try to do when going AU is put in details as I go, and thus expect the reader to pick up on and piece things together over time, rather than all at once in a big info-dump. So it's only fair that I acknowledge the approach has its risks and drawbacks too (namely where something isn't as obvious as I think it is; trust me, this would not be the first time I've fallen into that particular pit).
Sneaking in a quick thank-you for the review. A little surprised this angry old thing is still giving people something to talk about, but not unhappy. The latter I reserve for the fact it's still topical.