Mortals have always gazed upon the stars in wonder. But sometimes, the stars gaze back.
* * *
Dramatic reading by ShadowOfCygnus.
And by ThelifeonCloud9!
Special thanks to GaryOak and the Writeoff crew for editing.
Chapters (1)
Horse Voice
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Very cool. Very Lovecraftian.
*Knock! Knock!*
Halfway through, this song started playing in my head.
Welcome back.
8933102
Not one to push too hard for logic in a good horror story, but if they're circling the Moon, they certainly are close enough to be linked.
just a little time on a night like this brings me the elusive sense of wonder
I've tried to capture this feeling before. I've taken to calling it nachtzufriedenheit.
I guess I wonder why she calls it a tower-house and why she didn't simply chat with Luna, who would presumably know and be actively involved in the night sky.
Hopefully not stating the obvious:
8933539
I've thought about this a bit. Perhaps the Nightmare has been influencing her for a while, infiltrating her mind and steadily chipping away until now, where she's more... in tune with the night, I suppose. A little more like Luna. And if the Nightmare had enough power/influence to cause paranoia and hallucinations, I think Twilight's lapses in logic could be attributed to the same thing.
Assuming the above is correct, it adds another level of spook factor. How can you hide when your mind belongs to the thing you're hiding from?
Now this, my guy, is horror done right.
Almost.
8933539
It really is difficult to evoke a sense of wonder with just words. It's tempting to cheat and ask the reader to compare with things they themselves have seen, but sadly, not everyone is lucky enough to have seen something wondrous in person.
Regarding the "tower house," this is the type of real-life castle that Twi's home most closely resembles. I probably shouldn't have been so esoteric. As to the last point, I tried to convey the impression that once They get in your head, it's basically too late, much like 8933651 says. But as this seems unclear, it's probably a sign that I'm rusty at this.
8933579
+1 Internet.
8933245
Dang--I must not have worded something clearly enough. Real stars that seem to form patterns only do so from our limited viewpoint, but really might be any number of light years apart. Thus, if Twi were right--which she isn't--they would only appear to be circling the moon, in an optical illusion caused by perspective. Make sense?
Very spooky, I like it!
This was enjoyable. The descent into madness was a bit quick.
Story's rather short for the whole insanity bit, but that aside, I like the concept. The idea that there's a sentience out there that orchestrated the whole NMM deal is something I'd like to see more of.
9019990
Shucks, you may be right. I wanted to see if I could replicate the ability of Poe or Lovecraft to scare people in very few words, (for example, Morella, Nyarlathotep) but maybe I need to refine my technique.
Thx for the feedback!
9020051
I think if you were to try for that sort of thing, it might work better to start with an already slightly unhinged character, and then have the course of events officially blow the lid off its hinges entirely.
Thinking I agree with Corejo. There's a cool new idea at the core of this, but I get to the end and go, that's it? Didn't really take the time to build up the paranoia and such to make it work.
Chills.
Such lovely clean prose and clear intention. And so creepy. I'm learning that you try these vignettes, these passing terrors, and even if they're not of worldshaking importance they are, all the same, so rewarding
Elegant, one might say.
9768807
Aw shucks, thank you.
as ridiculous as lovecraft's cool air