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Princess Cadance desperately enlists Zecora's help when Flurry Heart is unable to fall asleep, and Shining Armor is too busy with crystal duties to be of much help. Turns out Cadance may just be falling as well. But will her marriage be able to withstand such a thing?
Note: This is an entry for "Crackships for Christmas contest." hosted by Spark.
Feedback very appreciated, as this is my first contest entry.
Edited by anon26182 <3
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You really need an editor, or at least you should pay more attention to tense shifts, run-on sentences, and "said" tags.
Here's an example. Your sentence—
...and here's how it should go:
I broke up the run-on sentence and clarified whom he kissed. This is a pattern I see in your writing, so besides an editor, I suggest simply reading more and practicing your techniques.
Finally, make use of a grammar checker such as Grammarly. It's free and has helped my writing tremendously.
Not bad grammar.
8594590
Anyone you'd might recommend?
8596635
Yes I know I'm not strong when it comes to grammar any suggestions on how to fix those issues?
8596641
Sentences like this one, that end with the speaker having said something, should have a comma before the quotation mark if it could end with a period.
This is how i would fix it.
8596641
I'd suggest for an editor anon26182
8596639
Try this group.
There are a lot of spaces I suggest that you delete some of these spaces
8727957
Fixed. Thanks for pointing that out.
8727975
You’re welcome
8727982
Did you enjoy the story though?
8727985
Yes, Ah did