A complete re-haul of the first story in the Harmony's Warriors cycle. Co-written to a great extent by theseventhdoctor, with additional help from JZ1 and Fedorasarecool.
Rarity Belle is well known throughout Equestria. Both as a technological genius and as Equestria's most eligible bachelorette. After a life threatening incident, she will be come the Iron Mare.
Rated Teen for Action Violence, Brief Language and Some Innuendo.
Based off the fanart and ask blogs created by Kenichi-Shinigami on deviantart. I asked permission before I started this. Cover art by Kenichi-Shinigami
IT HAS BEGUN!!! Again. Great beginning though.
2682745 Really? That's a huge bit of relief. Now I just realized I can relive all the wonderful comments. YAY
2682775 Oh the comments. The stuff (and things) that shall be said
2682779 YES. IT SHALL BE EPIC
This calls for a celebration staring these bad asses!
2682802 LET THERE BE ROCK
nice re-start of the story
I'm gonna miss Braeburn though
But, can't wait to see the rest of it
2682811 Time to bust out the big guns BOYS YOUR UP!
Looks good. Can't wait for more
2682821 STAND ASIDE FOR THE MASTERS OF ROCK:
2682838 Impressive but make way for the GODS OF THE ROCK WORLD MAY THEY HAVE PITY ON YOUR SOUL!
I tried to be nice and give you the chance to walk away but you just had to bring in the zeppelin didn't you now be amazed by the sandman and may you sleep in pieces.
Oh, it's good to be back!
2682838 What's wrong no come back for that one no surprise... wait hear that
the bell tolls for thee!
2682857 Well...
To each their own.
2682890 Ah but I DID respond.
Trust me. NOTHING BEATS THE ZEPPELIN (at least to me. Never was a Metallica fan.)
2682909 Dude I was never dissing Led Zeppelin I fricken love his songs.
Rarity s Ironmare and a shitton of music in the comments.
I'm SOLD. Faved. Lets see what ya got.
~Skeeter The Lurker
2682921 Frick well we seem to have come to an impasse you can't out rock me and nor I you truce? For the love of all things rock?
2682928 YES
2682983>>2682928 I don't suppose either of you listen to KISS. They're kinda the SOUL of rock.
Also congrats on making the feature box!
Great beginning, I'm liking these changes so far. Though here
I think you mean gait instead of gate.
2683021
thumbs.newschoolers.com/index.php?src=http://99gifs.com/-img/50462ea2afa96f1e190008a6.gif&size=400x1000
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130124044307/mlp/images/8/82/FANMADE_Shocked_Rarity.gif
2683036 Fixing it now
2683045 You didn't see that this was in the Feature box did you?
2683061 YES I DID
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I.... Oh.... oh my.
...It's far too late at night currently, but come tomorrow I WILL be reading this.
I gotta hand it to you. When you start, you start with a bang. I'm liking it now. And what's this? A new chapter already!? I'll read that later.
2683021 agencyartanimation.com:89/iasblognew/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/August-25-1949-Gene-Simmons-Famous-Birthdays.jpg I'll let you be th judge of that.
This was a good start to the story. I am very interested in seeing how it pans out.
I like this idea, it fits a lot better than Rarity as a fashion designer that somehow built a battlesuit.
2685055 Exactly. Part of, like, 80 other reasons I needed to rewrite this
2685763
I didn't see 80 different reasons, but if you say so.
2686168 Well....
1. Braeburn, sadly, ended up being rather pointless. His role was overtaken by Spark Plug, so he just kinda stood in the corner awkwardly.
2. Living Laser's motivations were unclear, here, I shall, to the best of my abilities, remedy that.
3. Sweetie Belle was shunted to the sidelines, and so was the conflict with Rarity's mother. Now, I can't resolve both conflicts, but I'll try and balance it out a little more in favor of Sweetie Belle.
4. It didn't really fit into the rest of the universe, as it was the first story and I was still figuring out the details of the universe.
5. Twilight Sparkle was, again, rather pointless and shoe-horned in. Here, she won't even appear. She'll be mentioned of course, but she won't be having a major role like in the original version.
2686231
I just said I didn't see 80, not that I didn't see errors.
Good for you, however, for recognizing the flaws in your story and taking steps to correct them.
2686354 Yeah it always feels like more. But yeah there were MAJOR flaws.
It made me cry reading the old version.
2686360
Aww, don' cry or else youll get me goin...Too late. TT_TT
The first chapter is epic-osity!
Also the tension at the end had the force of a scream. Nice!
2691253 thanks. Hopefully I'll be able to maintain that feeling of anomosity with Rarity and her mother
Huh. This actually looks like it will be very interesting. Good chapter.
Okay! Good rewrite. Far more detailed and interesting, and show's that you've really improved as a writer. Only one question.
What the hell did you do with Braeburn?
2712727 he got cut out in the developement process.
Figured he'd work better somewhere else. Thinking Iron Fist, so that he's teamed up with Big Mac as Power Man.
2712767
...Okay. Seems legit.
Sorry, I hadn't had a chance earlier. Looks like you've got a better grip on what you want for the story. Taking things that you liked from the original draft and finalizing it, polishing it.
A really great read. As always. I can't wait to see how the rest of it comes together. I look forward to seeing the similarities as well as the differences.
2713922 Thanks!
I kept the old one as a google doc, because there several bits of dialogue and one or two scenes I really liked, mainly the fight with her mother over the phone and the flashback to when she left her mother and the little speech Twilight gave Rarity about war.
....
Who should I tell about this major glitch? When I put a star next to your story, it now tells me that I have 15 new chapters to read.
2741629 Oh that's because I went and got rid of the old chapters.
Just ignore it. OR do the "mark all chapters read" thing.
That is weird.
Yay for update!
I got a question. Will you still be combining movies one and two into this story? That's what you did in your other one.
i'm sorry, i cant take this seriously. Rarity as Iron Man is... alien to me. at best i'd see twilight, but not rarity. im sure the story is great and all, but... i cant take rarity as iron man, she'd be more Hawk Eye
2741698 well....for the original that was the original idea, but its far too complicated.
So most likely, this version, there will be elements of the second one, but its mostly an adaption of the first one.