Act II - 11 - Purpose
Act II:
“Who Are You?”
Chapter Eleven:
"Purpose"
Rarity leaned back from her drawing desk, and gazed at the sketch of the battle suit before her. The strange, empty void in her chest seemed to have been relieved slightly at the sight of the drawing. She now felt as if she had actually achieved something. Yes it was only a sketch, but it was something productive, something that actually had a chance of changing something in her life beyond the cosmetic aspects that a new hair perm or a manicure often provided.
What had started as a simple design outline had soon bloomed into the designs for the suit’s weapons, it’s internal mechanisms and power systems. Everything from the material needed to the exact number of parts necessary to build it was written down. As she had went, she would pin a new blueprint to the large pinboard above her drawing desk, and now it was practically overflowing with blueprints and sketches. She took a draw from what was now her third cigarette, exhaling smoothly as she pinned yet another sketch to the pinboard.
“Fabulous, simply fabulous,” she said, letting out a deeply satisfied sigh. “Now...how am I going to reverse the polarity of the--” she halted, clearing her throat coarsely, only to hear someone knocking on her bedroom door. Her eyes darted towards the door, and she let out an involuntary groan of irritation before focusing her attention back on the pinboard, and reversing the polarity--
The knock came again, this time noticeably more insistent this time, and Rarity furrowed her brow. The knock came again, followed by several more, and with a disgruntled sigh, she spun on her hooves, briskly trotting over to the door.
“Who is it?” she asked, swinging the door open, revealing Written Script standing in the doorway, a mildly concerned look on his face.
“Oh, it’s you just you. What is it Written Script? I was having an epiphany,” she said, giving him a smile. Written arched an eyebrow slightly.
“Rarity, you alright?” he asked hesitantly, and Rarity tilted her head slightly.
“Um, yes, I’m perfectly fabulous. Why? What’s got you worried?”
“Well, it’s just that it’s seven in the morning.”
Rarity’s eyes widened slightly. “Seven in the morning? Really?”
Written Script nodded, motioning towards the clock that, coincidentally, sat right over Rarity’s pinboard. Rarity looked up at the clock, before biting her lip and blushing slightly.
“Well, I do suppose that I might have gotten a little carried away,” she said, her expression brightened. "But look what I designed!" She added, beckoning for Written Script to follow her inside. Written followed behind dutifully, looking up at the pinboard and the thousands of sketches pinned up there.
"A little carried away? Rarity, I haven't seen you draft up so many sketches since back when you made your first presentation for Fancy Pants," he said, his eyes wide. "What is this? Some sort of fighting robot or something?" he asked, arching an eyebrow slightly and casting a glance towards Rarity. Rarity shook her head.
"No, its not a robot. Its an advanced mechanized armored combat suit," she replied, puffing her chest out slightly with pride. Written Script nodded slightly.
"So its like an anime?" he asked, and Rarity tilted her head slightly.
"You mean like those loud and over-animated cartoons that Sweetie Belle is always watching?"
Written Script cast Rarity an accusatory look. "Anime isn't over-animated. Its an art form," he answered, his voice vaguely defensive. "And that's beside the question, anyways," he then added, seemingly noticing the budding seeds of an argument and deciding to avert it. "The question is that, I thought you said that we weren't going to make weapons. This looks an awful lot like a weapon..." he continued, pointing towards a schematic of an internal miniaturized plasma cannon.
Rarity opened and closed her mouth slightly for a few seconds, before switching to nibbling her lip slightly. “Well…” she began, twiddling her thumbs. “... I will admit that, yes, this suit does have weapons… but it’s not a weapon… per se…”
Written Script simply gave her a very deadpan expression, his eyebrows lowering slightly. Rarity looked towards the ceiling for a moment.
“Rarity…” Written Script pressed and Rarity let out a sigh.
“Oh alright fine… yes, Script, it’s a weapon. But trust me when I say that only I shall ever use it. In fact, I'll probably only use it the one time anyways," she answered, tapping a pen reflexively on the table top next to her.
“Well, what are you going to use it for?” Written Script asked, raising an eyebrow.
“It’s a one-off… at least I think it’ll be.” Rarity answered. “I just… I just feel like I should be doing… something to help the world. Something more than just saying I’ll do something and then throwing money at it. I mean, you saw the news report last night didn’t you?” she asked, and Written Script shrugged slightly.
“Which one? I watch the news a lot you know. Kinda my job remember?” he replied with a slight chuckle.
“The one with the terrorists in South Griffinheim… the ones who ponynapped me,” Rarity replied, giving Written Script a mildly questioning look. Written Script’s face lit up with recognition.
“Oh, that one!” he said, facepalming. Rarity rubbed her forehead.
“Written, how could you forget seeing something like that?” she moaned. “I’d figure the ponynapping of your friend would be something that would attract your attention when it came on the news!”
“Rarity I’m sorry! I was watching the economics channel! But I’m your assistant, which means I have to keep track of everything. And right now, the economic ramifications of what you said yesterday are kinda massive. I mean, I support you, have no doubt about that, but as your assistant, I still have to make sure you’re not bankrupting yourself.”
Rarity let out a sigh. “And that’s more important than making sure those savage murderers are brought to justice? Making money?”
Written Script shook his head. “No, of course not! It’s just-- if the company does go bankrupt, you won’t be able to help anypony, and then where will you be? You’ll just be another burn-out, who threw all their money at an ideal without any sense of planning or foresight. And then more ponies will get hurt, and you won’t be able to do anything to stop that or fix it.”
Rarity opened and closed her mouth again, unable to really come back with a real excuse. Written Script had a point. As much as Rarity wanted to bring justice to the ones whom had hurt her and killed Kili, if she ran out of money, and her company crashed, she’d stand to lose everything, and then she would be left alone in her poverty, just like she had seen in her nightmare back then in the cave. And she would rather die then end up like that pathetic hermit.
“I-I guess you are right, Script…” she said, looking up at the schematics. She briefly considered disposing of all of them, chalk them up to an emotional episode and move on with her life, get her company back on track. But a small post-it note caught her attention. It hung in the upper left corner, and, written on it in bright red ink was the following two word sentence: “For Kili.”
Those two words brought back the reason for why she had crafted this machine. Not because of an emotional need to fix something that was hopelessly broken, or to simply make herself feel important. No, she had crafted this suit for him. So that his death and her living wouldn’t be in vain. Yes there was a risk, a risk of failure. But so what? Hadn’t everything she’d ever undertaken always run that risk? Fifteen years ago, no one would have pinned her to be one of the wealthiest ponies in Equestria, one who had built herself from nothing with only a sketch pad, a box of tools and a dream. But she had done it, and that achievement had been fueled by her own mere vanity and stubbornness. Now she had a purpose, to bring justice to those who had none, to remember the one who wouldn’t be remembered. To quit now would be taking everything she’d seen and learned, bundling it up and throwing it away as if it meant nothing. And that would be the worst possible thing. She set her jaw, her resolve hardening.
“Written Script,” she began, turning back to face him. “I can’t--no--I won’t turn back now. I shouldn’t even be alive… but I am. I mean, there has to be a reason for that right? In that cave, I made a promise. I gave myself a reason to exist, and if I were to abandon that now, my life would be worthless an--” she was unexpectedly cut off by Written Script yanking her into a completely out of the blue bear hug. She tensed up, completely baffled as to how to react.
“Oh Rarity, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to say that!” Written Script said, his voice sounding deeply relieved.
“Oh? Really?” Rarity asked, glancing about awkwardly. “Then why did you go on about the money? I mean… mixed signal right?”
Written Script pulled out of the hug. “Oh, that? That was a test!” he said with relief. Rarity raised an eyebrow.
“A test?”
Written Script nodded. “Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you’re heart was really invested in all this,” he replied, motioning again towards the pinboard. “I mean, if all this was just a pet project, once I mentioned the risk of bankruptcy, the old Rarity probably would have instantly torn the schematics down and scrapped the project. Now? Now you’re really going to do something good for the world. Something that might actually make a difference. I always wanted to see you do something more with that wonderful mind that you have. Something that can actually improve the world and damn you’re finally doing it!”
Rarity looked at Written Script with wonder. “Y-You really think all that?” Written Script nodded resolutely.
“Absolutely. With all my heart,” Rarity could’ve sworn that he sniffed slightly, and that his eyes were watering visibly. “And I’m going to support you, come what may,” he added, a smile on his face. Rarity couldn’t help but feel her heart warm at the showing of support from her friend.
“Wow, Script… all of all the things you could’ve said… that was the best possible thing,” she said, a tear managing to escape from her eyes as she pulled him into a hug of her own.
“Thanks, I always try my best you know,” Written Script replied, returning the hug in full. They sat there for a moment, simply content to be hugging, only to be interrupted by someone knocking on the workshop door sharply.
“Um, Mr. Script! The waffle iron is on fire!” came Sweetie Belle’s voice, and Written Script’s eyes widened.
“Oh damn I forgot the waffles!” he said, bolting up from where he was sitting and galloping towards the door, swinging it open wildly and madly scrambling down the hallway, leaving a vaguely confused Rarity sitting in the bedroom. Her eyes latched onto the small filly left standing in the doorway.
“What’s this about a burning waffle iron?” she asked, her eyes narrowing. Sweetie Belle opened and closed her mouth slightly, before pawing at the carpet.
“Well… I kinda wanted waffles… and Written Script said he’d make them, so we started and then he went to check on you, leaving me to watch them…” Sweetie then bit her lip slightly, obviously very embarrassed. “And then he didn’t come back and they kinda caught fire…”
Rarity’s eyes widened noticeably, her face darting towards the door as she heard Written Script shouting from down the hall.
“RARITY I NEED YOU OVER HERE!” he shouted. Rarity stood up from her chair, ignoring Sweetie Belle, and galloped down the hall.
/////////////////////////////
“The Waffler lied.” Sweetie Belle pouted slightly as she, Written Script and Rarity cleaned up the utter disaster that was the kitchen. As it had turned out, the waffles had somehow managed to catch fire during the time Written Script and Rarity had been talking, and, in an attempt to avoid setting the entire kitchen on fire, Sweetie Belle had grabbed a fire extinguisher off the wall and fired it towards the flaming waffle iron… only to miss entirely and instead paint every surface with a thick layer of fire extinguisher foam.
Thankfully, there had been enough foam left in the extinguisher for Written Script to be able to put out the actual fire, but the kitchen was still an utter wreck, with foam caking the walls, counter tops and flooding the sink.
“I’m really sorry, Rarity, I didn’t--” Sweetie Belle said meekly.
Rarity waved her hoof, “Please, spare me--I think I can afford a new one.”
Written gave her a dark look and opened his mouth as if to say something--but just then the doorbell rang, followed by a rapid series of knocks.
“Oh Celestia--it’s mother!” Rarity almost slipped on the foam trying to get to the kitchen door.
“Rarity, she hasn’t seen you in--”
“Tell her I’m resting! Say I’ll call her!”
The unicorn disappeared around the corner and Written and Sweetie heard the sound of her bedroom door slamming shut. The was another stream of rings from the front door and a barrage of knocks. Written sighed.
“You’d better wipe yourself up Sweetie, before you come to see your mother.”
He went out the kitchen and down the hall to the front door--which he was sure was going to need a new coat of paint after the abuse it had suffered. He pulled it open and Pearl nearly fell on top of him.
“Well, it’s about time!” she exclaimed. “I was about to call the police, I thought you had all been kidnapped this time!”
“I told you they were coming, honey. It’s a big house, it probably took him some time to get down all those stairs Rarity put in,” Magnum said calmly, following his wife into the house. “So where is Rarity?”
“Yes, she hasn’t called or texted and she’s been back for four whole days--”
Written interrupted her, “She’s resting right now. She’s very tired, you understand.”
Pearl looked decidedly disbelieving but Magnum quickly said, “Of course, we don’t want to disturb her, she needs time to recover.”
“... Or maybe she doesn’t want us poking holes in her story…” Pearl muttered so softly Written barely caught it.
Magnum turned to his wife and said in a low voice, “We talked about this, Pearl.”
She ignored her husband and said to Written, “Where’s Sweetie then?”
“I’m here, Mama,” Sweetie answered meekly, coming down the hall.
“What’s the white stuff in your hair?” Magnum asked.
Sweetie’s eyes widened but before she could answer Pearl interjected, “We’re going home now, Sweetie.”
Sweetie blinked and gawked. “Home? But--”
“Get your stuff and be back down here in five minutes.”
“But Rarity--”
“Never mind Rarity! She’ll give up on this fabrication as soon as the public finds a new scandal to latch onto.”
“Pearl…” Magnum gave his wife a dark look.
“Fabrication?” Sweetie squeaked.
Pearl leaned down so her eyes were at level with her daughter’s, “Your sister has created this massive illusion as a melodramatic publicity stunt to draw more attention to herself, because being the harlot princess of a second rate fashion line wasn’t enough.” She pulled back and turned towards the door, “Now let’s go. Honestly, wasted all this time to come here and--”
“NO!”
Pearl stopped cold just as her hoof touched the door and turned back to her daughter. “Excuse me?”
Sweetie’s eyes were wide and she glanced at her father and then Written, who both simply gawked, before taking a deep breath. “Enough Mama. Stop… stop these lies r-right now! Rarity didn’t fake anything and if you opened your eyes for two seconds and realize that not everypony is mean and cold like you you’d see that! Did you even hear what Rarity said to the news ponies when she came back? She’s going to stop making guns and stuff, but of course you don’t know that because you’re too busy leaving me behind whenever you travel so you can go on another stupid vacation or another one of your silly fashion shows!”
“Sweetie Lauren Belle, you stop this right now and listen--”
“No, you listen to me for once! You know what? I HATE fashion!” Sweetie Belle shouted, causing everyone to take a slight step back. “I mean--I mean I like to look pretty and stuff, but that’s not what I want to be when I grow up! I want to do something like Rarity! But of course, that’s not fashion, so you hate it! You only see what you want to see! And you ALWAYS have to be right! No wonder Rarity hates me, she must think I’m a little version of you! But I don’t want to be you, I want to be me! I want to make things and I want to know how they work! And I never, ever want to be anything like you!”
There was a terrible, chilling silence as Sweetie stood gasping to catch her breath while her parents and Written stared at her. Suddenly, a voice from behind them made them all jump: “I always thought I’d die before Mother would ever be speechless. But I guess since I almost died, it still counts.”
Written and Sweetie turned around and Pearl and Magnum looked up to see Rarity standing in the hall, leaning against the wall. Magnum was the first to speak, “Rarity! Did we wake you?”
Rarity shrugged slightly, “Well, if I hadn’t already been awake, I probably would have been woken up.”
Magnum went over to his daughter and looked like he intended to hug her, but hesitated and instead said awkwardly, “We came to check on you but, um, Written told us you were resting… how are you feeling?”
“After that?” Rarity asked before nodding towards Sweetie. “Incredible!”
Sweetie blushed and Magnum looked uncomfortable but Rarity just smiled, “Say Sweetie, how about some ice cream? Written bought me like seven tubs of it.”
Sweetie looked confused for a moment, but finally said, “Um… sure Rarity.”
Rarity smiled and motioned for her to follow her into the kitchen. She gave her father a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for coming, Daddy,” she said quietly, before walking back down the hall to the kitchen with Sweetie on her heels.
There was a painful pause finally broken by Written, “Would you both like to stay for dinner? I’m pretty sure there’s something you’d enjoy.”
“I think… we’ll come back tomorrow,” Magnum said, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t think she cares for our company right now… and, um, we should give her some space, respect her decision.”
Written opened his mouth to protest but Magnum held up a hoof, waiving it slightly. “Don’t worry, we’ll show ourselves out, Written. Thank you.”
Written hesitated for a moment, before nodding slightly and turning and went down the hall after the sisters.
/////////////////////////////
Once Written was gone Magnum stamped his hoof. “Damn it Pearl, just for one day--one day--can’t you keep your opinion to yourself, is that too much to ask?”
Pearl didn’t answer. Magnum let out a huff, preparing himself to repeat his question, this time with a little more force. However, he stopped dead in his tracks when and turned on her, ready to do just that, but stopped cold when he saw her expression. For the first time in quite some time, Pearl looked horrified. Her eyes were as wide as saucers, the veins visible along the edges.
“Pearl?” Magnum asked quietly, gently putting a hoof over her shoulder. She leaned against him, her mouth moving slightly, as if she were trying to speak. However, no words came out.
“What was that dear?” Magnum asked, bringing her slightly closer to him to catch her words.
“Did you see her?” she asked her voice just barely above a whisper.
Magnum furrowed his brow slightly. “Who? Rarity?” he asked, and Pearl nodded slightly.
“She looks so thin,” she said, looking up at Magnum with worried eyes. Magnum shrugged ever so slightly, unsure of how to handle his normally stoic wife’s expression of emotion.
“I suppose she lost a little weight--”
“I've never seen her so thin,” Pearl repeated, her lower lip quivering slightly.
There was a pause as Magnum closely studied his wife. He could tell she was trying her best not to allow any of the tears welling up in her eyes. Magnum gently reached out a hoof, caressing her face gently.
“Pearl,” he began, his voice gentle. “Are you alright?”
Pearl shook her head slowly. “I-I-I need to go home. Please take me home, Magnum,” she begged, looking him directly in the eyes. Magnum nodded, and began to gently escort her towards the door.
“Of course, dear. Let’s go home.”
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I got the Lauren reference (yay me
)
Maybe Pearl can be redeemed. Maybe she can't. Would be interesting to see what you come up with
Also, Good Eats. Best cooking show ever!
Wow!
You and your sister did a good job with Sweetie standing up for herself. And I'm guess what Sweetie Belle said was true, Rarity hated her because she thought Sweetie was like their mother. Now that bring the question, when Rarity is not work/using the suit, what are they going to do to spend their time together?
NOT ENOUGH PEARL HATE! MORE HATE FOR THE HATE GOD!
Please...don't stop! Never stop!
Finally! I was wondering how you were going to handle this scene. Glad to see that the wait wasn't for nothing. Keep up the good work.
3772852 HATE FOR THE HATE GOD! RAGE FOR THE RAGE THRONE!
3772851 Well....
I haven't exactly decided.
3772956 Take your time, I do wait to see what happens next.
Well, this certainly wasn't in your original story of Iron Mare. Will it mean anything? We'll just have to wait and find out.
Who doesn't love Pertwee?
Oh yes! This chapter was brilliant. Finally Rarity seeing Sweetie for who she really is. I look forward to more Sweetie and Rarity bonding.
It would seem that Pearl realizes that Rarity wasn't lying after all. Maybe realizing her daughter really was kidnapped and improsoned will make her realize that Rarity hasn't had it so easy lately.
Okay, I don't quite get 'The Waffler' reference. I get that it comes from a cooking show, but what is 'The Waffler' and how did it lie?
I've seen a lot of the old Doctor Who, including Pertwee's time, but I don't remember the reversing polarity line, must have missed that one.
Update!
And congratulations on getting featured.
Really nice chapter, it felt great reding Sweetie Belle lashing out to her mother.
And also having Pearl realise she's been quite self-centered.
She had it coming, hopefully she'll eventually begin to act like a mother.
Either way, good job!
So, I should ask this: which of the parents is the decedent of the Belles in the Captain Equestria fic? Pearl or Magnum? (I'm only asking this because of my mom. When your mother drags you and you sister to graveyards just to track down ancestors she nor us have even heard of, just to get their death date, you're gonna ask genealogy questions about something when you see a fic like this. And yes, she actually did that. I shit you not).
Also, Sweetie needs to get an award for calling the old mare out on her being a jackass. Also, Is Written Script suppose to be the Jarvis/partial J.A.R.V.I.S expy and a pepper expy? or just the pepper expy?
3773535 Written Script is more like the Pepper Expy.
JARVIS is going to TOM the Computer
And it's Magnum who is the descendant of Glory Belle.
The irony.
3773688
I fail to see the point of your comment. It should pertain to the story itself by providing feedback, not a personal opinion that simply lists one's ideal character setup or whatever. Now, had you actually read the story instead of just telling us what you think should be the case, then your comment might hold more than a negative amount of weight. Only those familiar with the material have a valid opinion, especially when you outright announce to everyone that you have no intention of familiarizing yourself with said material. That's just rude.
Having said that, this chapter was a great example of character development and provides a good segue into the next part of Rarity's mission, presumably to build the suit, now that she finally feels ready and has come to terms with her situation.
That's how you comment.
I have read the story.
I just wanted to say Sweetie Belles's out burst and everyponies reaction to it was really well done. Keep up the good work.
3773688
Did you even read the story?
And Rainbow Dash as Thor actually works very well due to her controlling lightning, Pinkie as Hawkeye due to EXPLOSIVES, Fluttershy as the hulk due to... well, y'know, POWER PONIES AND PUTTING YOUR HOOF DOWN, Applejack as the c'pn due to being strong and old fashioned, Rarity as the Iron Mare due to her experience with terrorists (A Dog and Pony Show), natural wit, and her ability to be science buddies with Shy/Twilight, and Twilight as the widow due to her intelligence, seduction abilities, ability to take everything damn seriously, and the fact that she and Pinkie as partners works better then Rarity and Pinkie.
Also Spike's Coulson and Shining's Fury. They're both mans.
...and this chapter was great.
3774743 3775270 Well thank you for defending me from whoever the hell that douche bag was
Seriously what did he even say?
3773428 In one Good Eats episode dealing with waffles, the Waffler is Alton's Superhero alter ego who goes around rescuing people from bad waffles. Since we all know Sweetie Belle has the cooking expertise of a rotting stick, she probably screwed up the recipe and is now blaming The Waffler for "misleading" her
sweetie you are awsome! you just know she scored major brownie points with rarity there.
and score one for physical proof rarity wasn't lieing now pearl has to face up to EVERYTHING!
this is freaken awsome
3775817 Ah I see, that makes sense now, thanks.
Well done, sir.
Sweetie's middle name should be Claire.
Otherwise, awesome chapter.
3775641 I can answer that mate, He started out sating that he had no desire to read this story and then proceeded to list his picks for an Avengers Crossover. So there ya go.
3780854 well that was a jerk move
This gave me a new appreciation for Sweetie Belle...
Nice Chapter!
New Chapter?
3773609
Something cool I just thought of: Rarity, in accent and snark style, is very much like JARVIS. So wouldn't it be cool if she built a talking A.I that ended up talking and snaking like Tony?
Or alternately she could be trying to build a a gentleman computer and somehow create Spark Plug.
3783483 Oh wow I never thought that T.O.M. could sound like Tony Stark
THAT WORKS PERFECTLY
3783495
Thank You.
I'm actually hoping for Rarity to mae a big sister-little sister relationship with Sweetie Belle in this revised edition. You've started the beginning , so I hope you keep on going.
3784906 thats the plan mate
YES! WOO HOO! GO SWEETIE BELLE! NICE WORK ON SHOWING YOUR MOM THE TRUTH OF THINGS!
Excellent, excellent chapter Avenging-Hobbits! Sweetie Belle is my favorite of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and I felt as if I was watching an episode of My Little Pony because of how well you and your sister wrote Sweetie's scene.
As always, I look forward to the next chapter!
~ Super-Brony12
3786432 Oh no I agree...I hated that plot twist..
3785962
Now I'm happy.
I see what you did there!
Loved the Good Eats reference, as well as seeing Pearl's exterior crack a little. Great job!
3773609 Where did the name TOM come from? I know it was used in the Ironmare (Rarity) tumblr that you took a lot of inspiration from, but is it supposed to be some specific character from the ponyverse?
3798208 he's going to be her computer. And yes its from the tumblr.
3798264 Right. I just looked at some of the old tumblr posts; I THINK the computer is named after the giant rock from The Return of Harmony.
Maybe now pearl will start listening after that little talk with sweetie.
Thought you might enjoy this.
tinyurl.com/llaz5ct
This (and several of your other fics) have been added to Celestia's Library
3801724 THANK YOU SO MUCH
Good Lord! That was a good chapter!
I am VERY curious about what's in store for Sweetie Lauren Belle! 
And I'm excited to see Rarity finally really start on the suit! 
3803747
Wait... I'm confused. Have you seen Iron Man 3? Not trying to sound insulting, I'm asking this in all seriousness. Because there technically was a Mandarin, but that chucklehead was the farthest thing from the Mandarin he possibly could be (not the actor, the weapons developer), and THEN Marvel later announced that they were retconning THAT in some BS short that was going to show the "real" Mandarin basically calling out the Trevor-actor character and the weapons developer for "misrepresenting" him. All I'm thinking is, "OK Marvel, you can quit acting like you didn't drop the ball on this guy, you screwed up the Mandarin big time, the equivalent for Iron Man of screwing up the Joker for Batman or Lex Luthor for Superman". Seriously Marvel, big time swing and a miss.
3803889
I completely forgot about Whats-his-names "I AM THE MANDRIN!" Moment.
Oops.
I'm withholding judgment until I see the One-Shot in question. If they screw that up...
3773609
Interesting Side Note: there is a Tom-like character in DC named Danny ? Almost matches Toms portrayal in cannon
3803889
On a related note: There's something wrong with my 'message responding doo-whatsit'. I'm having trouble responding to comments.
3834644 yeah, I'll probably lampshade it.
There's a notable lack of apostrophes in this section:
Other than that, this was a decent chapter. I'm curious how closely this will stick to the plot of the original film, as there was already the notable shift of Rarity not using the robot suit to escape, though I suppose in the grand scheme of things that was a relatively minor change.
3857705 Thank you for the notes.
And yeah I'm not sticking all that close to the movie's plot. I've got another plot drafted up, that, while maybe sharing the most basic of outlines (because, let's be honest, these kind of "Jerk stops being a Jerk" stories have a series of goalposts that are always the same so to speak), but yeah, it's not an exact carbon copy.