It Happens To All Of Us

by sunnypack

2 - Side Note: Presently

Side Note: Presently

Twilight lay beneath the bowers of a tree that reminded her of a home long ago. Instead of contemplating taxes and reforms, polite company and politicians, she, for once, wonders about herself.

What ponies tell her is that she is the Princess. A pony that ruled over the kingdom of Equestria. There are none above her, but she likes to think that there are none below her. With the rise of day and the fall of night, everything had its precise order and place, with an inexorable passage that was as constant as time itself, though she is not as enduring.

She has been around for a long time, though.

Sometimes, in these quiet moments, she takes the time out of her busy schedule to contemplate a question that had been plaguing her for almost as long as she could remember. It stemmed from happier times, she thinks, but for some reason the raw, gnawing worry keeps her awake longer than her nightly duties require.

She, in her present state, realises that they think of her as a heroine. A stalwart defender of good and a symbol to aspire to in this oft-troubled lands. In the long, long time she had been around, she had seen the rise and fall of empires, the changing of technology and magic, the advancement and decline of art and literature.

She herself knew that she was changing and that nothing was constant in this world.

Yet.

Yet there were things she never wanted to change. She never wanted to be ‘evil’, she never wanted to lose control, she never wanted to deviate from the garden path paved for her by her peers… her mentor… her friends. There is a darkness in her heart, for sure, and there is an urge of sweet temptation that leads to wild seductive abandonment only one hoof step away. Twilight, however, endured and she found that the burden of rule was easier to weather the longer she was alive.

Only that she was beginning to get tired.

The malevolent question clung to her mind with tenacious claws, it sprung up in this brooding moment in time. Once again, she contemplated inevitability with furrowed brows. If she could only view herself through her eyes, then it made sense that someone else would better know her than she did herself. The only problem was that she was now alone and though there were ponies around her, none connected with her in the same way as before. None could understand this burden. The ones who probably could have long-since passed away.

And this crippling question had been left unanswered.

So what was she to do, in these present times?

A faint rasping caught her attention as a gentle breeze blew.

Her gaze was drawn to the book she had been reading.

Science: Now

Twilight smiled.

Indeed. An experiment was always enlightening. Maybe she could answer her question and be free from this hideous burden? She would begin immediately.

Laughter drifted to her ears from a lively group in the distance.

Good. She would start with them.

Author's Note:

Ambiguity is a hard thought to ascribe to, especially in a story meant to provoke a response in the form of a discussion. I think it should be recognised that not all questions have answers and that sometimes they are never fulfilled. But in our quest to grasp meaning, there is always merit to ask others, even if there is some form of personal cost in doing so.

Should Twilight seek an answer or should she, like Cadance, leave it be? It was detrimental to find the truth, but at the same time, it left a void in her, as in many readers, who wanted it to be answered. The inevitability of corruption is a fascinating concept that has been argued passionately for and against in many other stories. As such, I wanted to be unique in that addressing that question and I thought that introspecting the self for a change would be a poignant concept that would no doubt be interesting to explore rather than press as factually one side or another.

Time is a big theme in this story, and the way change happens in us that pushes us along. The clock, in my thoughts, was a way to signify the inexorable passage of time. That everything changes, whether we like it or not and that recognising that introduces the concept of things that we do not like to discuss. When Twilight hears the clock stop, it is a recognition that inevitability is a part of life, and that dwelling on it would only lead to a spiralling existential madness.

There is a little side interaction describing the way change has affected Twilight's perception of Celestia and this is meant to reinforce the fact that this change is confronting. Twilight doesn't want change. She want everything to be 'normal'. The question she deliberates over is almost immaterial, she is struggling against change itself and that, I think, is an impossibility that would eventually tear her apart.

I hope this little addendum helps, and I apologise if this story was not to your liking. I always strive to improve and your comments and suggestions have all been thoughtful and enlightening. Thank you all for your feedback and support.

Comments

[wlam]

Some people would say that, as your lifespan approaches infinity, the probability of you eventually making any given decision approaches 1.

Those people are stupid. Probabilities only apply to things that are probabilistic. The decisions of groups are. Individual decisions aren't. Moral corruption isn't an involuntary process, it's a conscious choice you make.

So no, it's not inevitable - unless you decide it is.

[pahnazd]

This story wasn't exactly your standard fare, but I personally don't mind the deviation. After all, even you needed to do something different from comedy eventually. And this was a nice thing to think about. A heavy question with probably no correct answer.
And this little addendum was nice as well.

Change. Change can be good, and it can be bad. It can happen so quickly that it becomes an upheaval, or it is so gradual that you won't notice it unless you compare the now to how things were a longer time ago.

Still, an enjoyable story nevertheless!

I have one worry about Twi's inevitability here though - Celestia and Cadance (presumably, since it wasn't mentioned) didn't get corrupted because they had someone to lean on.
As described in this chapter, Twilight is alone now. Sure, there are shorter-lived mortals, but compared to her lifespan, that's fleeting.
Then again, she is a bookish pony, so just following science and magic could stave off some things.
... she'll probably need to zap a few more alicorns into existence so she's not so alone anymore. Then again, that would also mean that those others would eventually share her burdens, and as we know, she wouldn't want to do that to someone else.

Tl;dr, food for thought indeed!

[Tide Hunter]

She, in her present state, realises she that they think of her as a heroine.

realizes
remove "she"

If she could only view herself through her eyes, then it made sense that someone else would better she her than she did herself.

Replace "she" with "know"

[Xzrea]

Our actions are governed by wild chemistry in our brains, where things constantly change and new cells grow and die. But our conscience - that fickle thing - is trained to assume that all our actions are actually acts of the very same person, as thinking like "I am not one I was an hour ago" would surely lead to madness.

[wlam]

8319869
Speaking as a chemist, that's like saying a computer's decisions are based in the laws of electricity. They're clearly not - electricity is just what it runs on. If human volition were that easy to explain away, we wouldn't be arguing about it for a good five thousand years now.

[sunnypack]

8319504 Oops, I'm an idiot. Thanks!

[Fluxxdog]

8320103
In fairness, that electricity can affect it, such as a surge or power drop corrupting data, something tiny and imperceptible that sets off a change. So that squirrel that touched two lines down the block just killed your thesis. It's like the whole nature vs. nurture debate, who says it has to be one or the other? Why not both?

[wlam]

8320176
You're bringing up a good question, but most computer scientists these days will tell you that computers are something they call "hardware agnostic." This means that fundamentally, it doesn't matter what a computer is made of. They run on mathematical laws, not physical laws. Psychology is the same in a lot of ways. Serotonine and dopamine can affect a person's moods... but they can't affect their decisions in a real, deterministic sense. People act like they act because they're people, first and foremost - not because they're brains. That influences what they do, but it doesn't determine it.

Life would be so much easier if the psychologists were wrong.

[EmberLight]

8320192
Well, even if psychologists are always right, nihilistic views can help that.
Nobody exists on purpose.
Nobody belongs anywhere.
Everybody's going to die.
Come watch TV.

Who cares if free will is an illusion, just because it doesn't exist doesn't mean you can't enjoy thinking you have it!

I feel like I'm making a lot of unrelated points right now, can someone confirm that?

[wlam]

8320228
Well, I'm a nihilist, so I guess I'm in a position to say that nothing of this is wrong, but it also doesn't answer anything.

[EmberLight]

8320244
I had a feeling I was spouting nonsense... They say that voices in your head and making deductions completely unrelated to whatever subject was being discussed are signs of schizophrenia, no?

[Fluxxdog]

8320192
I tend to look at that differently. Psychologists aren't wrong, but more importantly they are not right. Most of the manuals and guidelines they work with are more educated guesswork. I'm not dissing the profession, but it's one where there's still work to be done. With so many exceptions, it's impossible to prove the rules they have to work with. Still, they try to do what they can to help people and further the research and information.

[Magical Trevor]

8319504 Objection*! Realises is proper spelling outside of Canada and the united States. There are multiple words that N.A. uses a Z instead of an S, so the confusion is understandable.
*more a little bloop than an objection. <__<

[Cookie_Girl]

Well, if anything I'd say one of Twilight's flaws is curiosity. Not to the same level as LittlePip, but it's still strong with her. So, whatever it is, I think she's going to do it at least twice; once for testing, a second time to confirm the results.

[Xzrea]

8320192
And as an IT student I will respond with the Law of Leaky Abstractions. It might not matter what computer is made of in 95%, but remaining 5 happen. Like, there is a low chance of a cosmic electron flying across a memory cell and changing stored value. Same with brains, as I think of it.
BTW, due to Quantum indeterminacy there cannot be truly deterministic understanding of brain. These effects mess up computers as well, actually.

[wlam]

8321194
Fair point, but that's a lot like claiming that language runs on physics because a printer's P might break in such a way that it looks like a bit like an F. It clearly doesn't. That sloppy maintenance can turn a Pine into a Fine isn't exactly a revelation about linguistics.

[Xzrea]

8321758
You see, it is not run by physics in the way you described. Rather, due to physics we have "up" and "down" directions, for example. So language is influenced by physics.
Same with brains - they're influenced by internal biochemistry and external conditions alike with "internal decisions". Yes, in most cases mind inner processes run more or less independent of all that, but it happens - and it's vital not to undermine these factors.
In your case - when your printer may print "p" looking like "f" and "a" looking like "u" - you really should check the printed page if you order a pack of something.

[wlam]

8321964
That's why I said neurotransmitters can affect your thought processes, but they don't make your decisions for you.

Also, as a computer science student, you really ought to be more aware of the difference between information and data. Just saying.

[Akouma]

Good. She would start with them.

Well that's very ominous. Pretty sure I'm supposed to be reminded of Lesson Zero, but I don't remember getting an actual chill from that.

[fanreader999999]

Weak

[Commander Joe]

I know this is old, but this this actually something I've kinda thought about before so why not give my own thoughts.

No matter what happens life is made up of the actions of you and those around you. The choice of good and evil lay squarely on you're shoulders and yours alone. That curiosity of the "what if i do this?" Is something you can resist and ignore if you so choose. Ultimately I am who I choose to be. And if I want I can choose to refuse evil forever, thus it is avoidable. However likely or unlikely corruption IS avoidable.

Change itself however...