Am I being detained?
The red and blue lights of the police cruiser illuminated Officer Shining Armour’s ivory-white skin as he stepped out, hitching his belt up around his dark blue pants. He paused to adjust the cap on his head as he eyed up the vehicle he’d pulled over. A white pickup, slightly battered-looking… and most pertinently, with no licence plate.
An electronic squawk emitted from the radio on Shining’s waist as he approached the truck. He stepped around to the driver’s side, motioning for the driver to pull the window down.
The window buzzed down to reveal a wiry-looking man with black, slightly greasy-looking hair and thick horn-rimmed glasses. He sniffed as he looked at Shining with what could only be described as suspicion. Poking out of his shirt pocket, Shining noted, was a smartphone with the camera pointed towards him.
“Evening, officer,” the driver said, still giving him that squinty-eyed look.
“Good evening, sir,” Shining replied, leaning in and putting his hand on the roof of the truck. “Do you know why…”
“Can I get your name and badge number for the record, please?” the driver asked, a slight smirk appearing at the corner of his lips.
Shining blinked. “Pardon me, sir?”
“You are being recorded,” the driver said robotically, taking his hands off the steering wheel and folding his arms. “Can I get your name and badge number, please?”
Shining sighed internally. He could already tell that this was going to be way harder than it needed to be. “Certainly, sir. It’s Shining Armour, badge number 448. Now, do-”
“Am I being detained?” the driver interrupted, not even trying to hide the hostility in his voice. Yep, this was gonna be really easy, Shining could tell.
“Sir, I just-”
“Am I being detained?” the driver repeated, raising his voice to a near shout. He was outright glaring at Shining by this point. What the hell was this guy’s problem?
“Well, no sir,” Shining replied, rubbing his eyes. “I just pulled you over because…”
“Under what probable cause?” the driver demanded. “You need probable cause to pull me over. Do you suspect me of a crime?”
“Well, yes sir, I do,” Shining said flatly. “Your truck doesn’t have any licence plates on it, front or back. It’s illegal to drive without plates here in the state of-”
“And can you prove I was driving?” the driver asked, smiling superciliously.
Shining suppressed the urge to groan. What was this guy’s… “Sir, of course you were driving. I just pulled you over, didn’t I?”
The driver’s grin widened. “No, I wasn’t. I was travelling. And by pulling me over without probable cause, you are impeding on my Constitutional right to travel unmolested.” He nodded smugly. “Corfield vs. Coryell, and the Fourth Amendment to the Constitution. Look it up.”
By now, Shining was grinding his teeth in the back of his head at the idea of dealing with this fool for a moment longer.
“Sir,” he said, trying to stay calm, “the Fourth Amendment is not relevant here. The Supreme Court ruled in 1925 that a police officer may stop a motorist if he has probable cause to-”
“And do you have probable cause?” the driver snapped.
“Yes, I do! You don’t have any licence plates! That’s a felony under-”
“No, it’s not!” the driver yelled. “I am not beholden to your laws. I am a free man on the land.”
“A what?” Shining groaned.
“I do not submit myself to any country or corporation,” the driver said pompously. “The only law I follow is the common law, set out under the Articles of Confederation. I don’t care what your little rulebook says. That’s the law.”
“But sir, you just tried to claim protection under the Fourth Amendment,” Shining pointed out. He wasn’t even going to bother trying to point out that the Articles of Confederation hadn’t been law for over three centuries now.
“That’s right,” the driver said snippily. “I have the rights of a U.S. citizen, but I do not recognise U.S. law.”
Shining could feel a migraine coming on. “So… you have the rights of a U.S. citizen… without following U.S. law?”
“Exactly,” he nodded. “That’s what common law says, and it supercedes any little state law you may have.”
“One moment please, sir,” Shining said heavily, walking to the front of the truck.
“Am I being detained or am I free to go?” the driver called after him. Shining ignored him, pulling out his radio.
“Car Charles-5 here,” he said. “I’ve got some damn freeman on the land giving me a real headache down here on Route 4. Refusing to cooperate. Can someone give me a hand with him? Over.”
“16-Adam, I can take that, over,” a voice shot back.
Relieved, Shining returned to the truck, where the guy was looking at him with the petulance of a child. “Okay sir, another officer will be here shortly. In the meant-”
“Am I being detained?” the driver shot at him.
“Yes, sir, you are,” Shining snapped, losing his patience. “You do not have any licence plates on your truck, and now that I look, there’s no insurance either. This, combined with the attitude you’re giving me, gives me probable cause…” He enunciated that part carefully. “...to believe that you are up to some shady-ass shit.”
“Well, joke’s on you, Officer,” the driver spat back as another cruiser pulled up in front of them, “because I do not consent to any of this. You touch me, and I’ll sue your ass and your entire damn department.”
“Try it,” the newly-arrived officer, a fire-haired young lady named Copper Top, said angrily as she approached him, baton raised. “Step out of the truck, now.”
“I do not consent!” the driver yelled. “This is all being recorded-”
“Step out now or I’m going to break the glass,” Copper warned.
“I do not consent!”
“Step. Out. Now!”
“I do not consent!” the driver screamed, his voice rising several octaves. “I am not beholden to-”
“Final warning!” Copper yelled.
“I do not-!”
The deafening crash of shattered glass cut the driver off as Copper busted the window in, before pulling the door open. “Let me see your hands!”
“This is abduction, you hear me?!” the driver hollered, as he clawed at Copper Top. “You’re all gonna…”
He put his hands on Copper Top’s body, which was immediately followed by a loud, gurgling scream mixed with the rapid clicking of her taser. Grinning, Copper pulled his limp, quivering body onto the ground. “And now we’ve got you on assaulting an officer, dumbass. You have the right to remain silent…”
Shining watched the spectacle, shaking his head. “All of this over a damn licence plate…”
END
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I'm not a cop, but I have seen people try to pull this stunt before. I do not feel sorry for them. I feel sorry for the officers whose time they have wasted.
Just goes to show that a cop has deal with people of all kinds.
8073876 Seriously -- yelling at a cop because you think the law is stupid is on the same level as yelling at a cashier because the prices went up.
Could it be the phat Carrot Top?
8073964 If you wish.
*blinks* Ah those idiots, never had the privilege of meeting one but I have at least one car with there plates.
I've read a number of LEO's encounters with SC's, and I've even watched a few videos. Most were amusing, some were frustrating, only one was gut wrenching. And in that one the LEO won.
I'm sure y'all can guess what happened there.
So why is Shinning armor a cop? Shouldn't he be in the military? or maybe the secret service?
Also I am pro police I agree these people have a screw loose. That being said I believe there needs to be changes made to policing but interfering with a single officer is not the way to do it.
8073981 More than can be said for a lot of them.
8074006 Mind giving me more details on that?
8074011 Precisely.
8074018 It's a little graphic for just a T-rated story. TV-Y version is the officer went home with only a moderate, out-patient injury, and the sovereign citizen's kids are growing up without a father.
8074050 Oh dear.
8074077 Ayep. Most of these clowns are just that; clowns. Some of them are outright dangerous.
On a lighter note, one of the amusing ones I saw was the SC had his car doors locked, and his window only slightly rolled down. Wouldn't comply, wouldn't get out of the car, etc. What does the officer do? Does he deploy his ASP and knock the guy's window out? Noooo. He physically grabs the partially open window with his bare hands, rips the entire pane out of the pillars, unlocks the door and drags the guy out of the car. Funniest fucking UOF I've ever seen on video.
8074119 Ah, I've seen that. The most amusing one I've ever seen was a Canadian who tried getting away with fake licence plates from his own make-believe country, the "Republic of Kanata" (seriously). He tries putting on a brave-man act, and then gets a gun pulled on him when he tries driving away. Cue him immediately falling apart and panicking. Stupid bastard was on the verge of tears.
8074143 Was that the same one in the video compilation you posted in the comments?
Reality is a dangerous place for some of these clowns. They think they're funny until they're staring down the barrel of a Glock or their driver-side window is exploding in a shower of glass.
8074149 Yeah, it was.
I haven't read the story, but it made me recall one of these encounters. it was august in either 20 15, or 2016 I think a LEO pulls over car, The driver, was fairly complaint, but his girlfriend was a crazy SC who was ranting about the articles of confederation still being in effect and stuff like that. SOMEHOW the LIO was perfectly calm and civil, and even respectful o her, but she was a little brat, and nutty as squirrel poo. an amusing if frustrating video. Might have to try and find it again now.
8074205 Was she the girl who screamed that she was being raped when he put the cuffs on her?
8074208 I'm not sure she might have, it's been too long since I saw the video. I do recall she wanted the officer's name and badge number, and I think you can even hear two cops talking briefly towards the end of the video when the camera can't really capture anything anymore.
If I remembered correctly, you can only be a sovereign citizen and use those rules the guy in the fic stated if you're Native American.
8074480 Really? Didn't know that.
Ah, very well done.
Frankly, this is the type of crap that I hope every officer never has to go through. I'm not a cop, but frankly, if that was me, I would've been a bit more pissed.
Also, the tazing was pretty dope. I personally never want to experience it, however.
8074567 Ah, the satisfying smell of roasted sovereign citizen flesh!
8074626 Indeed.
"This is literally rape! Let go of my arm, you are literally raping me! Nazi! NAZI!"
8074526 The term "sovereign citizen" itself is started by a group of radical anti-government individuals who's paranoid about the government trying to scam them so they wish to withdraw from the government's jurisdiction. The rules they use to justify themselves are an outdated version of special treatment for Native Americans.
Ah SC's, especially loved some girl that let a illegal immigrant drive her around, then when she was being arested she cried stuff like "rape" and "call the cops!", while being arested by a cop...
Love it when they quote a document from the colonial period that has been rendered obsolete by the formation of the united state themselves.
I do not read anything related to EQG. But when i saw Sovereign Citizen, i had to take look.
8075139 "Assault! This is assault! I do not consent! I DO NOT CONSENT!"
8075376 What about the trucker who spent about ten minutes refusing to answer a simple yes/no question at immigration inspection?
8075419 Hope you enjoyed it, in any case.
8075463 the one that got his window shamshed in and was deagged out then?
Also liked the Court Bailif who tazed the guy who tried to enter a courtroom. P. Barnes is not the man we deserve, but he is the man we need.
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t-32-m0_-Sg]
8074205
8074208
I've watched a lot of these compilations. I think I've seen them all. The one you guys are talking about is in this compilation. Along with some others
8075486 Oh man, P. Barnes! I need to do a HiE fic involving him being hired as Celestia's security someday.
I've seen so many videos of these kinds of idiots on youtube, this was spot on and gave me a chuckle.
Hate the fact this ISN'T just exaggeration, that their really are smart asses who think the can claim the protection of the law with out having to follow it themselves. You don't recognize the country you in? Fine your an foreigner with out a visa then, you don't get the rights of a citizen of this country. Not willing to say why your in a country that isn't your own? That's probable cause to hold you, you might be hostile to our country's citizens. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. You want to participate in civilization you have to deal with the unpleasant parts.
That ending made the whole thing worth it.
8074480 neat profile pic.
Honestly, I have no sympathy for these people and they need to come to heel. They're like SJW's except they think they're frontier settlers and not communists. Especially the ones that have been in my part of the U.S. and the one asshole that murdered someone.
http://www.knoxnews.com/story/news/crime/2017/03/19/records-bogus-liens-sovereigns-topped-2-billion/99257156/
Edit: Have some lulz too.
Oh dear Luna, sovereign citizens. the most anoying bunch of F-tards on the face of the world. Take that bunch of special snowflakes and just toss em all into the sea. And if they try to get back on land, shoot em.
Fun story.
love
the ending.
8077793 Put them on a nice remote island off the coast of Alaska or somewhere, where they'll be free to
drive without a licencetravel,resist arrestnot consent to arrest, andillegally hunt and poachforage for food to their hearts' content.An entertaining piece, which I have upvoted and enjoyed. However, it has very little to do with MLP, with the exception of two names.
I might be tempted to rewrite a more ponified version; this has a good chance of being taken down by the mods.
8077869 Eh, it's been a day. If it hasn't been taken down or reported by now, I think I'm safe.
8077803 that could work i guess
That idiotic movement has spread a lot of bad information that has put a lot of good, albeit slightly gullible protestors in genuine danger. You can say you don't obey somebodies laws all ya like, but when they have guns and tasers it doesn't matter if you subscribe to the laws that let them do it or not, you're gunna get tased/shot.
Awesome premise , before I've read it I already I want to see the follow up court case with Celestia.
8078181 And that's not counting the genuinely dangerous ones who wouldn't think twice about murdering cops because they're "enemy combatants" or some such shite.
Funny, but if you made a single change (changing Shining Armor's name to something else) it wouldn't have a single thing to do with mlp. :/
Yeah, I've seen the sovereign citizen videos a few times. The thing I don't get is why they ever, ever seem to think it will work. HAS it ever worked? Not that I'm aware of, but they keep trying it.
What's annoying about this, is that some SCs...actually get off, albeit for unrelated reasons, and consider that a victory that means they are obviously right.
...That said, structually, this fic has flaws. The "Equestria" elements are done, and this is ultimately a revenge fic, pure and simple. A fun one? But a revenge fic.
Still upvoted, though.
I was actually a bit disappointed that this was an EG fic. I kinda wonder what the pony version of a sovereign citizen might be like.
8079692
I refuse to believe that any pony in Equestria could be that much of an asshole.