• Member Since 7th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 5th, 2016

Burlacious Soldier


I'm something of a Hermit.

T

Mister Torgue High-Five Flexington gets pranked by Tiny Tina and the resulting explosion sends his ship to an uncharted planet in an uncharted galaxy. What does Mister Torgue think of this? He thinks it's '*BLEEP*ING AWESOME!'
All characters belong to their respective owners. I'm just one of those weird people on the internet that makes stories about them. Rated teen for intense language, awesome explosions and air guitar solos.

Proofreaders: TiredOldMan, TheAtomicRainbomb

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 275 )

God yes!!! PLease have pinkie met torque!!! he would love pinkies party canon!!!

3772321 that would be AWESOMELY BADASS. YOU SIR ARE GETTING CREDIT FOR THAT! :pinkiehappy:

Yes. YES. YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!!!! You genius bastard!

I give this story Torgue out of Ten.
BUY TORGUE GUNS OR YOU'RE F***ING RETARDED

CANT.STOP.TOO.FUNNY......gahhhh my heart!!!!

You had me at "SQUIBBLYBAMBLYMEEDLYMEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT THIS IS F*CKING AWESOME:pinkiehappy:

Thank you all! I thought I'd get a few cheap laughs, but this is the fastest a story has gotten views for me. Thank you all :heart:

3772456 Thanks! That means a lot coming from Walter White :pinkiehappy:

3772652
Damn right. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to

SPOILERS

being dead.

3773207 Damn straight. Note to everyone though, according to the game, Torgue's voicebox has been modified so his cursing is bleeped automatically. Thus, his overly foul language will be noted with a *BLEEP* cause that's more or less what it does in the game. Sorry if this ruins it for anyone/anypony.

3773232 You can spoiler it so it looks like this:
"We here at Tourge believe this is BLEEPING AWESOME!"

So, after reading this totally radical story, here's what I've got to say:
SQUIBBLYBAMBLYMEEDLYMEEEEEEEEEEE!

But, in all serious, this story has great promise for a comedy fic. However, I suggest two things:
1. Get an editor. I noticed some errors in the fic that can understandably be missed, and having an editor is the best way to iron those out. That way, you look more professional (as well as smarter) in your writings.
2. Make longer chapters. I used to write ~1k chapters as well, but after reading some of my old fics a while back, I learned that they leave me wanting more too quickly. Aim for around 2k to 2.5k words a chapter.

I'll be back for more. Don't do a me and finish your story.

3773483 Yes to both of those, but a couple of problems.
1. I am unaware of how to obtain said editors. To me they are like mythical unicorns. Unattainable, but very much real.
2. This chapter was a prologue. I usually write like 3-5k words per chapter for a story.
It's really nice to get input like this though. I really appreciate it and if you know how to get an editor I'd appreciate a private message with details. I'm still a newb writer. :scootangel:

To me they are like mythical unicorns.

*Scooter voice "You're a vault hunter? That's like a unicorn!
(Sorry, I had to.)

Anyway, this story has promise for great comedy, and it looks to be trending that way.

Awww, you changed the title.
I suppose the new one makes more sense, but the old one was just so BADASS!!!!

3773841 Yea, unfortunately it was too vulgar for a teen rated story. Eventually I'll make a mature version with way more gore, cursing and badassery. Until then, it's just Torgue hilarity. :trollestia:

3773857 Yeah. Also Holy *BLEEP*. This is awesome

YOU ARE A BADASS FOR WRITING A STORY LIKE THIS!!!

Fellow borderlands enthusiast. To this day it is still my favorite franchise

TOO MUCH WIN...THE INTERNETZ CANNOT TAKE IIIIT (explodes)

Mister Torgue and I would like to thank everyone for enjoying the story and leaving awesome comments. YOUR KIND WORDS ARE APPRECIATED
:rainbowkiss:

THE BADASS CRATER OF BADASSITUDE!

THIS STORY HAS TOO MANY SYLLABLES, APOLOGIZE!!!!

3778181 BY READING THIS STORY, YOU LEGALLY FORFEIT YOUR RIGHT TO CRY, EAT TOFU, OR WATCH MOVIES WHERE PEOPLE KISS IN THE RAIN AND SH*T!

Love the fact that I could hear Tina's voice and Mr. Torgue's voice in my head in the beginning of this story! KEEP TYPING THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

This is relevant to my interests.

Aru

Fav for now, to keep an eye on this story ^^

Now before you get started you must digitally sign our legal waver....

JUST KIDDING! F*CK THE LEGAL WAVER! JUST HEAD ON IN AND GET STARTED WHEN I PLAY A SICK GUITAR SOLO!
SQUIBBLYBAMBLYMEEDLYMEEEEEEEEEEE!

Sorry, had to be done. :rainbowlaugh:

There is another story about Mr. Torgue, called "EXPLOSIONS???"
I haven't read it yet, but seeing as how this is updating and that hasn't updated in about a year, I know which one I'm paying more attention to.

It'll be fun when he talks to Twilight; "THAT SENTENCE CONTAINED TOO MANY SYLLABLES! APOLOGIZE!"

The world can always use more of Mister Torgue. I'm eager to see what happens next, especially once he meets Fluttershy.

3782996 He will, of course, treat her with respect. NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT.

3778236 And yet I do none of these actions. Does that make me a badass, or an emotionless monster?

3783064

I have seen many things in my life, but few things fill me with such joy as PECS, LOOT, AND EXPLOSIONS....IN THAT ORDER!!! Seriously though more Tourge is exactly was FIMfiction needs, and if I could get in on this action, know that I would. I love playing as Salvador or Kreig, but in this case seeing Tourge go full-on TOURGE on Equestria is a thing of dreams and beauty! Well done and I look forward to more!

Thought I would let everybody know that the official first chapter is almost done. The first thing is the prologue. Just have to get the chapter edited and proofread. :pinkiehappy:

oh my GOD, i just finished the dlc with a friend "YESTERDAY" and now i find this........if this ain't fate i don't know what is! :rainbowkiss:

will start reading tomorrow...

Still gotta do this:
BADASS PONIES OF BADASSATUDE!

Mr. Torgue. would give Iron Will one hell of a run for his money in a "HOW TO BE A BADASS!" seminar!

And so, Mister Torgue learned the true meaning of friendship. And it was ****ing awesome!
I wonder if he'll be censored in Equestria too?

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