• Member Since 5th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Rainb0wDashie


The one and only Panty Muncher Pony. Support my stories on Patreon or give rainb0wdashie.com a visit!

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Rainbow Dash hasn't been sleeping well, in fact, she hasn't been sleeping well for the better half of a month now.  Tossing and turning at night, sleeping past her alarms, and often waking up exhausted, confused, and with her hooves outstretched as if to reach out for somepony. Thinking she's maybe just exercising too hard she tries to take it easy on herself, that is until a series of unpredictable nightmares bring Rainbow Dash back to a place long forgotten by Equestrian history.

Inspired by the music of Cult of Luna, A Pale Horse Named Death, and the author's own dreams; This is a story about the things we believe in, the things swept away by the passage of time, and the things left behind that are still there waiting for you.






Links:

- If you like this story, consider supporting me on Patreon so I can bring you more content in the future!
- Join the Club Awesome Discord Channel to hang out with Rainb0w!
- Youtube playlist of this story's musical Inspiration

Credits:

Chapter 3:
Made a derivative poem based on the public domain poem "The Night" by Hilaire Belloc
Directly referenced two paragraphs from the Daily Writing Tips article "Telling a good poem from a bad one" because I was having trouble paraphrasing it
Used a couple stanzas of 'Dead of Winter' by A Pale Horse Named Death
chapter 8:
used a quote by William R. Alger
chapter 9:
Sampled a passage from Ozymandias by Bysshe Shelly
Fimfiction Discord writing help:
Majin Syeekon, PocketHenry, figments - line brainstorming
RB, Shipcord, R5h -similie brainstorming
Symphonic sync, the chronicler, - put a conversation we had into chapter 9

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 29 )

Okay, this sounds interesting enough. When I get the time, I am sooooo reading this.

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Please do! I spent the last 5 months working on this story, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :twilightsmile:

Well, I'm hooked and there's only one way to get it out.

It's by reading more!

I'm loving it. This story is well written and it's already grabbed my attention within the first few pages. I love stories that make it feel like I'm there watching everything transpire and this is one of those stories. Keep up the great work Dashie, I look forward to more of your work when you decide to release it

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It makes me happy to hear you both like it so far. I hope you both enjoy the entire story! :pinkiesmile:

Well, that was lovely. Every so often, the odd grammar/ technical mistake annoyed me a little, but everything else definitely made up for that.

So, basically, thank you for this. I enjoyed the time I spent reading this, and can't think of something I'd rather have done with said time.

8833508

Yeah, sorry about the grammar, this story was supposed to be edited but my editor kinda left me hanging. :ajsleepy:

But I'm very glad to hear you enjoyed the story, I worked really hard on it so it makes me feel good to know people are starting to like it! :heart:

Okay, I saw, I read, and I was astounded. Masterful work! Honestly, I think there's only one way to sum up this story, and that's for things to get a little bit... stranger.

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Hey thanks, I'm glad you liked it! :twilightsheepish:

Wow what a way to start a story! I got hooked by the first chapter!

8835992

Yeah haha, the first chapter is pretty dope! :rainbowlaugh:

Twilight reproached him but he continued. “I’m just saying it seems a bit far-fetched to have a dream about a building and then find it the very next day. This isn’t a storybook.”

Spike, stop breaking the fourth wall. That's Pinkie's job

8836810

I knew somepony would love that line! :rainbowlaugh:

As an addict to the "strange dream/vision" hook, I can definitely get behind the first chapter. I think the dream sequence had some pretty fine writing in it, too.

8854137

Hey thanks, I'm glad you like the hook!

Can't wait to see what you think of the rest of the story! :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Thought Prism deleted April 20th
Comment posted by Rainb0wDashie deleted April 19th

This is a really cool story! I like the way you're writing this! Keep it up! Also the part about you connecting the skeletal foals in the building to sandy shores (was that her name) and rainbow dash dieing together in the bed in the dream was like a woahh moment for me oh my gosh :twilightsmile:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Not bad at all! A very thrilling mystery. :)

Nice story. I read the physical edition, so some of this might not apply.

I really liked the voices you had for Dash and Gilda. They felt very true to the show, and I enjoyed a lot of the exchanges they had. I also really liked how Rainbow Dash went through all her trauma, and I felt for her when it got scarier and scarier. Twilight felt pretty off for me, especially when she kept being dismissive of Dash's issues and only helped her after she remembered prior details.

I liked a lot of the buildup with the mystery, but unfortunately, the physical edition was so riddled with typos and formatting errors that I had a lot of trouble getting into it, and it brought me out of the experience. If you do another print run, I highly recommend getting another editor to read the proof.

That said, I think you're a good storyteller with a good sense of pacing, and I look forward to more of your stories.

8923843

Hey thanks for the comment!

I know how you feel man, I'm pissed off about the typos in the physical edition as well, I had an editor but he left me hanging when i had hired him on. Told him it was a rush job and offered to pay him a rush fee to get it done in the week before Whinny City and he spent a day at school and another day at playing a game that got an update. I had to get the manuscript made or otherwise I wouldn't have gotten them printed in time and then all the money I spent advertising the physical edition would've gone to waste.

I'm planning a second edition with typo fixes, updated chapters, and maybe even an extra chapter or two and thinking of offering those who bought it a steep discount.

As for Twilight, i need to go back and do a little tweaking to her because some people are getting the wrong impression on her motivations. Same for why Gilda 'just suddenly shows up'. I honed in on what i think is the issue is that I spend so much time building things up and for things like Twilight's pivotal moment or Gilda's reason for being in ponyville I only dedicated a single dialogue tag "I found some treasure we can swipe" for Gilda and "You haven't been a very good friend lately" for Twilight. It's an easy fix but I guess it's something that seemed obvious to me but didn't translate well to the reader.

Other than that I really appreciate you taking the time to read and enjoy my story. I hope you stick around for my future stories because I've got some bangers coming down the pipeline!~ :pinkiehappy:

Yikes, that poetry class. Not even upper-level university classes are that hard. I'd have a fit if one of my professors asked me to write in octameter--pentameter is hard enough. Now that's a nightmare.

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luna only wanted the best out of her students :rainbowlaugh:

Dammit, author-chan! You made me cry!

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I take that as a great honor, especially since chapter 10 almost made me cry while writing it; and I never cry. :raritystarry:

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