• Member Since 7th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

RockstarRaccoon


Meanest little raccoon with the cutest little boots. | You Like? Join the Raccoon Feeders or buy me a kofi.

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Source

[ Insane Random Comedy (and possibly Eldritch horror?) ]

One day Twilight was vomiting. This didn't stop.

This is the only story that asks the question...
What if all the ponies were vomiting and they didn't stop?

DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER?!


IT BEGAN WITH A DISCORD CONVERSATION. IT PROGRESSED INTO A BLOG POST. NOW, IT IS A WORK OF ART FOR YOU TO BEHOLD AND REJOICE! THIS IS THE ONLY STORY THAT ASKS THE QUESTION!?!? YOU HAVE TO KNOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!!

I'm not sorry.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 104 )

Best funny fiction I ever read.

9493456
This may be the most innocent fic I've ever written.

9493463
Oh, it does.

9493461
There is absolutely nothing to be confused about here. It is exactly what it says on the tin. I was having trouble writing another chapter of my two good stories, so this happened.

Oh... my... you actually did it. I didn't pay any futher attention past the blog post, so this is a... pleasant(?) surprise.

On another note, how fast can we get this to the featured box?
And how come I can't get the idea of a sequel out of my head? I don't even know what it would be on, but I feel like it would actually happen.

9493469
Sorry, odd way I phrased that. It's not a fetish-fic, just an innocent story about Twilight coming to terms with her new vomit-based lifestyle.

9493475

On another note, how fast can we get this to the featured box?

Hell yes. I would flip if this made it that far. I kinda want this to be the next "beanis" or whatever.

And if you write a sequel, I will totally make a group for the vomitverse!

9493491
Have you tried reading it? That might explain a few things...

9493518
It's exactly what it says on the tin.

What the fuck did i just read?

9493532
A new movement in the community of pony-based art and entertainment.

Well. It could be worse. At least it was not a serious case of diarrhea. ;)

9493610
That also occured to me, but for some reason this seemed less gross...

9493610 I'm starting to suffer from that right now.

Did I click on the story of touching of no-no squares? No. Did I click on the story about the possibly real meaning of friendship? No.

Did I click on a story with an intense theme underlining the silver lines of what da heckins?

Of course not you absolute dunce, instead, I just clicked on a random story that has filled me with questions I didn’t even know I had. If they vomit eternally, are bathrooms obsolete? If they did have to poop or pee, could they do that eternally? What if they did both. And that, my friends, is why I’m not allowed to create universes.

well alright then.

Dang, this is the kind of thing I would have written. Great job.

Congrats, you created a thing that is one of many stories that are entirely unique. Now you should go to that library of Babel site and see if you can find it there too.

9493680
See, that's why I'm saying, if people make spin-offs of this, I will totally make a group about the "Vomitverse"

9493746
You should read my other crackfics. They're all pretty crazy.

9493860
I am simply an artist, performing my craft.

Also, how will the planet be affected by this, gravitationally?

9493868
That's a good question. Beats me!

9493909
Wow is right. Ever seen a story like this on the front page before? I'm even beating the porn fics!

9493910
I... Don't know .. ghkkk...

9493864
I must say, if I expected something stupid and crazy to come out of discord, it would be this.

:moustache: Glad I was gone, I'll be damn if I'll be the one cleaning up this mess!
:duck: Gulp , Spikey would you be a dear? gulp gag
:moustache: Nope! Won't do a thing until it gets to my lower lip, Then I think about telling somebody...
:twilightsmile: we're up to your tally whacker :raritydespair:

9493934
So, just so y'all know, they don't talk anymore, and he's vomiting too.

9493916
I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ART!!

9493928
It's funny, with all the awesome ideas I don't write out, today just seemed to be the day to take some stupid joke I made in a chatroom and write a story about it.

As she walked through the town, she saw ponies everywhere, standing on the street, just vomiting, their faces having turned to mild annoyance as the initial shock of the non-stop spew wore off. Lyra gave her a wave with a vomit-covered forehoof from a bench where she sat next to Bonbon, both casually vomiting. Twilight waved back with her own vomit-covered hoof. Overhead, several pegasi flew by, and she had to slip under an awning to avoid the shower of vomit coming down from their mouths. It was kind of rude, but then again, she was already mostly covered in vomit, so it wasn’t like it’d be much worse if one of them had hurled on her.

:rainbowlaugh:

Ah, good old LyraBon. Also, nonchalantly walking in vomit.

Above her, she could trace a vomit-fall up to a cloud, where Rainbow Dash was napping while vomitting. Of course, Rainbow would be the pony to find it easy to sleep while the stuff was pouring out her mouth, but at least her coat had stayed clean.

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

She walked along, passing Trixie, who was casually brushing her mane, and Starlight, who walked grumpily along, her entire backside covered in Trixie’s vomit, much to her frustration. Twilight considered figuring out some way to ask, but was a very smart pony, and could put two and two together to make four, and could also piece together enough to know that this was a question she’d rather not know the answer to.

I thought of the positions which would cause this, and I say, I have to disagree with Twilight.

She glanced up in the direction of Canterlot, and that was when she saw it... A constant flow of vomit, flowing over the sides, running in rivers of puke down the side of the mountain.

:rainbowlaugh:

That’s right Twilight. That’s the Million Dollar question. And the answer is yes. Yes you are. Welcome to your new life Twilight Sparkle, you are now the princess of Puquestria, first among puking ponies. You’re a Pukey Pony Puke Princess, in a Pukey Pony Puke-World!

Well...

At least they aren't, to be crass, farting rainbows.

And so everypony lived Happily, Vomiting Ever After.

I didn't actually expect it to last forever, though. :rainbowderp:

I can just imagine something like this:

Filly: Mom, what was life like when ponies didn't vomit?

Mother: Don't be silly, dear. Ponies have been vomiting forever. Those tales of a vomit-free world are just that, tales.

Filly: Oh, okay. I just thought that it might be true, because it was in this book.

Myths and Legends: When Ponies Didn't Vomit


Wordcount: 2,001

It's a conspiracy to make our eyes twitch! :pinkiegasp:

9494135
Yeah, I really enjoyed writing this simply because it wrote itself: all I had to do was think about what they would do in this absurd situation. Remember though, that conversation between the filly and the mom is written, because they have to use whiteboards to communicate when their mouths are busy with the constant flow of vomit.

As for the word count, the odd thing is, it kept giving me different inaccurate numbers before settling on that one (fimfiction does that). That one just so happens to be the correct count.

9494139
Yeah, they do have to use whiteboards.

Wait...

If a vomitless world was already a legend they'd probably have developed way better ways to communicate.

9494152
Good point, but what? Sounds like a recursive fanfic to me!

9494159
Oh, nothing.

Just mentioning a random thought.

9494263
Bleurrgh!

But no. Nopony can eat anymore, because they are vomiting, but it's ok, because in order to make this work, I have the caveat that they don't need to eat or breathe.

9493998
I did not think you would. Which is why I have gathered them here to vomit on you.

And in a dread citadel that emerged from the æther after its thousand-year banishment, Ipecac the Terrible wonders why no one's tried to vanquish him yet.

9494390
HABEEB IT!

9494610
Yes. The vomit. Dada is the highest form of self-expression.

9494641
I was wondering if anyone else would consider this Eldritch Horror. I kept thinking of stories like It Curdles, where they all have to adapt to this depraved new reality.

9494795
I was viewing it as a more comprehensible evil who cursed the equine race to eternal vomiting... and much to his surprise and vague dismay, they all just kind of rolled with it. He had a sinister monologue prepared and everything. :fluttershysad:

9494927
Right, like an Eldritch Horror thing. I mean, this is literally a story about something happening that causes all the ponies everywhere to vomit constantly yet not have any negative side effects. It's just a new way of life, And they are powerless to do anything but live with it.

Then again, what do I know: I came up with the premise like two days ago as a joke on my local fan club's Discord server...

9496233
Sounds like he's talking about this fic all right... :V

Crazy, whimsical, a little gross...
I enjoyed that very much.
Have a Mustache.
:moustache:

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