Fluttershy is afraid of the Everfree forest, including the things in it, and when she happens to come across a most chaotic and random character, what will happen?
Chapters (12)
- Member Since 12th Nov, 2016
- offline last seen Sep 15th, 2023
Redrose99875
I'm a girl who is a fan of MLP:FIM and is a MAJOR FLUTTERCORD SHIPPER/FANATIC...And other things too :3
Redrose99875
Joined 12th Nov, 2016 ·
Offline
Sequels1
-
Redrose99875 · 15k words · 27 7 · 1.7k views
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Redrose99875 · 15k words · 27 7 · 1.7k views
- Pegashy · 12k words · 48 3 · 2k views
- Fizzyberries302 · 21k words · 47 5 · 2.9k views
- misskoifishpony · 4.8k words · 50 0 · 3k views
- Sapphire Rose 12 · 14k words · 34 1 · 1.7k views
- Redrose99875 · 6.9k words · 21 5 · 1.1k views
- Fluttercord4ever1 · 3.8k words · 40 9 · 1.9k views
- kurusagi16 · 44k words · 54 3 · 2.3k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.117 seconds
Total duration
991 users online
119,773 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
aww u cancelled it? It was going much smoother than the last...
okay, you win
Nice beginning! Now Critic time!
Most of your sentences have no periods. Make sure you add them. Also, you should add comas before a sentence, and also punctuation inside a sentence. Make sure to also make the beginning of a sentence, with a capitalized letter.
That's all for this chapter, see you in the next one!
Yay! Much better! Though I see some weird punctuation, and some run-on sentences at the beginning, but I also don't know if you did that on purpose or not. Keep on writing!
Okay, so is it, love at first sight?
Plus, this is an alternative universe, don't forget to add that tag!
Keep on writing! Don't quit!
yes,
added it now (Thank you)
please, do you really think I would stop writing it NOW?!
As I call it, I got a whiff of Fluttercord!
(That means it's good!)
It's a nice story, and I'm curious to see where exactly it goes.
>>kurusagi16
I'm glad you like it
I had a friend over, and she noticed that the ENTIRE first paragraph, was a huge run-on sentence.
Oh yeah, you need to check on your punctuation, and capitalizations. You may want an editor, and I am happy to help.
Genie song, not a bad touch.
7848576
7848770
I can understand that, but just be careful not to get too carried away with the references. (And by that, I mean like with What about Discord where the writers neglected to make the story interesting and instead tried to cram as many references and gags as possible.
)
But, all in all, you're doing a pretty good job. Keep on writing!
thanks,.......yeah I know, don't worry, I'm not gonna overload
Is this a human in Equestria story? Please make sure you reply to this comment.
>Starlight Nova
no, it's not a human, though it is the villain, though since it's not one of the many choices, i had to put other
It's a nice chapter, though, I'd have expected the mane 5 to be a little more apprehensive toward Discord. You got Rainbow down nicely, but I doubt the others would allow Fluttershy to go on a date with someone they don't know and who seems highly suspicious. They might allow it, if it lead them to secretly spying on the couplle during the date to make sure he doesn't try to pull anything.
7861921
yeah well see, they don't think Discord is evil since he hasn't really done anything, and they are trying to be like Fluttershy and NOT judge a book by its cover
(Even though they do find his antics annoying), but Rainbow Dash is overprotective of Fluttershy since she's not very confident and she's afraid someone might take advantage of her
, plus, doesn't she always react that way when she sees a creature that looks unusual?
7862048
Hmm, I guess so. Good luck on writing part 2!
You've done a nice job, but I'm hoping that some kind of drama pops up that adds some tension.
Don't worry, there will be
what is it, you may ask?
Oh, you'll see,........you'll see
Ooh! The plot thickens! Is it Eris or something?
7866079
I'll email you the answer since I don't want to spoil anything for the others
While singing the 'Never had a Friend Like Me' song I half expected Fluttershy to interrupt Discord and say "My friend Pinkie Pie can do those thing you know..."
7869153
LOL
, oh well, maybe next time
It's nice, though a lot of the story seemed kinda rushed. It needed more time for development, and the part with Eris seemed kinda sudden, and there wasn't really any build up or foreshadowing of her existence. In short, you've had some good chapters and concepts, but I think next time you should try to take more time to develop the story and build up any key plots or villains.
It's not ever yet
7872478
that's actually kind of the point, it was a twist, anyways I tried my best
7848770 Pinkie Pie.
8082846
Yeah,but who has magic?
Just imagine this as an evil face:
Oh Dissy dear you'll find love soon enough!
🥞
Did he?
Do you know da wae?
https://www.digitalcombatsimulator.com/upload/iblock/caa/4a70e16688b3475cb252b15b5a1897c30c2957abd6aed33417d9b5b289de4834_1-1.jpg
You Reader! Get your tuchas off that seat and do something productive!
When was the last time you ate hun?
He was framed! Or blackmailed!
Chrysalis? That's the only villain I can think of who'd hate Dissy. I've been watching too much Daughter of Discord...I'm sorry..
You've seen too much Bride of Discord...you're sorry..
This author deserves 67 cupcakes!!!
Some ponies in love 😍😍 or should I say fluttercord 😏😏
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣keep up the good work and keep on making more of these and probably make him even more silly 😁😎😋
Fly To Your Heart is beautiful indeed, though I think it would be far better sung by Fluttershy.
Robert Williams's May his soul rest in peace😭