A Time Out of Place
Far away, Celestia’s forces clashed against Sombra’s slave army. Somewhere in that fray Shining Armor lead brave ponies to fight and push those dark forces back. Looking up from her books, Twilight glanced at his last letter home. Blots of smeared ink spoke of tears that had fallen as he listed the names of his dead. Twilight knew he had memorized every name from the many letters he had sent home.
It was a long list, but Twilight was sure she could help it from getting much longer. Somewhere in the archives there had to be a book with the right spell. Something to take with her when she left to join her brother. Graduation was soon and as far as Twilight was concerned, she hadn’t been taught a single spell for war.
The academy’s idea of how to train a unicorn was laughable. Glorified physical training with bad fashion sense. They’d taught her how to dress and march, but little else.
Magical theory: sure. She was the top of her class in theory. Spells to help with the necessities of daily life: of course. Few ponies could match her vocabulary of spells. A thorough education in how to help your fellow pony and the importance of sharing your talent: meh... She had kinda dodged a lot of those classes to spend time in the library, and she had wholly forged her volunteer hours.
Twilight stood from the library’s study table. She stretched a moment, then wandered deeper into the ancient archives. The pre-unification era had been her first hope, but she should have known the easy answer would be wrong. She had found useful spells, but they were spells she already knew, or had at least heard of. Others had to have plumbed the depth of the tribal wars: If those many had found nothing, neither would she.
On a whim, Twilight lifted a book on minotaur magic. Perhaps other cultures would have crafted spells for war.
She turned back to her study table, but paused. Something wasn’t right. The air around her held a shimmer, and the room’s magic prickled at her. She was being targeted by a spell, and a powerful one. Twilight let the book drop to the ground as she wove a shield around her.
The world twisted. Time slipped with hours passing in seconds, then hiccuped as seconds passed in hours. A slice of reality cracked open and, as Twilight stood frozen in time, a unicorn stepped through.
With a clap, the world returned to normal.
The unicorn’s eyes found her instantly, but there was a tired, sad look to them. “Twilight,” she greeted with a little bow.
“Who are you?” Twilight asked, restraining the volume of her voice.
“My name is Starlight Glimmer. I’m a friend, from another time and another place.”
Twilight’s ears perked up. “The future?”
“Yes,” Starlight hung her head with sadness. “But a different one. I made a mistake once. It caused the timeline to split. Many, many dark futures that were not meant to be were created that day.”
There was shame in Starlight’s eyes as her magic floated a book from her saddlebag. “I can not undo the damage, but I made this. You should be able to get your world back to mostly normal with it.”
Twilight watched the book come to rest in front of her. It was more of a notebook really, little more than a dozen pages thick. The visible stitching and card-stock cover suggested it was hoof-made by somepony that read books more than made them. It was a clumsy thing, yet Twilight felt compelled to touch it. Resting a hoof on the tome, she could feel the strings of destiny strain against the book’s presence. There was dread power here.
“Is this for me?” Twilight asked, Twilight hoped.
Starlight’s gaze bore into her. “They are spells that were scrubbed from this world for a good reason. Open the book. Read the first page.”
Twilight obeyed like a good student. “Twilight Sparkle, I have condemned you to this world, now I condemn you to this knowledge. I hope you forgive me one day,” Twilight read aloud.
As the words left her lips, the page turned to ash. “Wh- What happened?” Twilight asked stepping back from the book.
“It’s an enchantment. Every page you read will be committed to memory, but you may only read it once. It will turn to ash after that.” Starlight sighed. Taking a deep breath, she blew away the ash. “It is bad enough I’m making you carry this burden, I will not curse others with spells of war.”
A smile spread across Twilight’s muzzle. She stepped forward and read the next page. As it turned to ash, she read the next. When that page too turned to ash, she looked back up to Starlight with bright eyes. “This is what I was looking for!”
Twilight bounced on her hooves. “I can protect ponies with this!”
“No.” Starlight’s cold eyes drained the excitement from Twilight. “You will kill ponies with this. You will feel Sombra’s heart beat between your teeth and snuff out his very essence.”
“Oh...” Twilight looked back to the book, this time with less eager eyes. She was right. Two spells in, and they were both deadly. To shape those spells was to will something’s death. Her mind’s eye showed her a field of charred bodies, and the romance of war in her heart died.
“But it is better for you to clear my blood debt in one awful payment than for twice as much to be paid over many dark years. Take the book, and find your brother. You two will be the hammer and anvil that reforges Equestria.”
Twilight picked the little book up and clutched it to her chest. She tried to say something, but could only nod.
The air in the room rippled, prompting Starlight to look over her shoulder and nod to some unseen force. “The spell is about to collapse. I do have a gift for you, something for after the fighting is done.”
The word ‘gift’ distracted Twilight from the dread in her heart. She watched with foalish curiosity as Starlight pulled something from her bag. A pretty gold chain, and from it hung an amulet. It looked much like her own cutie mark with one star surrounded by five others, but each star held a brightly colored gem.
“When it’s all done, you will go find that dragon egg Celestia has, and hatch it,“ she said pointing to the green stone in the center.
With a sigh, Twilight deflated. “I can’t. I tried. That’s why I went into academy like my brother.” The words “poor reaction to failure” echoed through Twilight’s memory.
Starlight smiled. “You can, and you will. I’ve seen you do it with my own eyes. You just need the right motivation. You’ll find it, I’m sure. Hatch the egg, and raise him like you would your own. These other gems will find their way to you; or you to them.”
“Okay...” Taking the offered gift, Twilight placed it around her neck. The air crackled, and with a pop the other unicorn was gone.
Twilight looked to the book, then touched the amulet with her hoof. The book felt heavy all of a sudden. Slowly, she walked back to her study table. She took a deep breath before opening the book, then began to read.
Ash cluttered the desk as words etched themselves into her mind. When the book was no more, Twilight stood. Graduation was soon. She needed to make sure her uniform looked good. It’d be blood stained soon.
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Profound. I would like very much to see this extended, to see what came next. How the others would find her in the war effort, how equestria's opinion of the nation's hero would be forged... And the aftermath.
But as a sequel. This one shot stands pretty damn well in its own, kudos
Why is it marked as complete? The story is just beginning.
7752302
7752200
You think this would hold up as a war story? I've been itching to write something with a WW1 feel. I think it would feel a bit like Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell.
Let me finish Strange gifts, and then I'll come back and see about using this as a prologue to an adventure story.
7752330 It just felt as if it was the middle of a chapter from a much longer story, like you wanted to just write the climax.
An excellent read, very well done
7752330 Yes, it would
7752354 Curious, I see it more like the prologue that sets both the alternate universe the story would take in, and it's tone. Not a tale of brilliant heroism or goodness redeeming evil, but a tale of the grim nature of war. With a kickass twilight raining down destruction upon the enemy forces... But also a tale of the aftermath of said war, and the impact such powerful individual would have on their world therefore.
Of course, the prediction she'll find the other elements promises it to play with that trope in the most tantalizing ways. Yes, I want to read this story!
Great story.
Two things to note in particular: the use of "vocabulary" to describe spell proficiency is pretty cool, as is the idea of an enchanted page that etches itself into the reader's mind then dusts itself. One of those things that seems obvious once someone else has already thought of it.
All-in-all a good little excerpt into Starlight jumping about trying to Doctor the worlds back to some semblance of normal.
Now the question lies on what the spells do that make them so dangerous. War Magic is more than shooting lazer-beams from your face, it's using magic to create weapons from thin-air, its to telepathically force your enemies to end their own lives, and finally to be able to forge horrid creatures to kill in your name.
In the end Twilight has been given something that is very old, and is the essence of cruelty. Setting your enemies on fire maybe fine and dandy, but once you know how to rip the very soul out of a pony by thought alone.... You start to change... You look into the abyss.... And in the end you will slowly loose your essence... You will become a hollow shell...
Oh boy, Starlight... That is provided Twilight actually does everything you say. This version of Twilight is neither an Element of Harmony nor the Princess of Friendship, and for all you know may already be set on a completely different path ever since your interference (wasn't that your whole plan in the first place?).
Starlight could very well return in a few years to find that Sombra had simply been replaced with a purple pony who knows forbidden death magic. Oops.
Gosh darn it, Starlight, have you never heard of unforeseen consequences?
7752330
Write it like a fix-fic with dark overtones, because this timeline is now literally Starlight Glimmer's fix-fic of an alternate equestria.
7753286
Yep. If I ever return to this world, it will be telling "the magic of friendship" as the 5 girls pull Twilight back from that abyss. Probably title it: The Abyss Looked Back.
7753438
I do think there's room for a "Quantum Leap" like story, where Starlight tries to fix the timelines she created.
7752330 Please do consider it, either from this Twilight's perspective, or from Starlight as she goes from Dimension to Dimension. Either one would likely be a good series. (Though only continue if you feel like it. If you try to force it, it will show in the chapters and not be nearly as enjoyable for anyone.)
7753474 I would read the heck out of that. Just sayin'.
7753479
That's an awesome translation of my suggestion.
I was talking more like "harry potter goes back in time to fix things better with future knowledge" easy to write style of story where the narrative uses this oneshot as the deus-ex-machina prologue and the story follows OP!BattleMage!Twilight as she grows up with the OP magic and then forces her way to the frontlines where she then trounces the forces of evil with power from a future not her own.
That would be a fun read, especially with all the dark adventure tones involved and the drama of passing on the deus-ex-machina spells and the competency-porn of Twilight evolving her and other's spellcraft with the forbidden magic, and then the aftermath!
Wow, heavy stuff. Nice job conveying it.
Short, but very well done. I do like seeing this as I personally felt that Season 6 should've focused on the repercussions of what Starlight did (I also think they should've delayed the CMC getting there marks and tied it into that story). I suppose now we have to ask if this will become a series of stories with Starlight helping fix everything she created.
7752330
Honestly, I think it's great as is; letting the reader imagine their own ending.
... that being said, a sequel/continuation with a WW1 feel sounds fantastic, and I'd totally read that. Really either way I very much enjoyed this chapter.
For anyone interested in fic that explores similar (but not identical!) concept (well it will when it will move to later chapters I think) I can recommend
Defense in Depth by Fon Shaolin
7754082 You might want to specify what you mean by similar idea. You could mean anything from travelling through time to arm someone lethally to the simple use of an alternate universe, with that vague phrasing.
Incredibly, incredibly bare-bones, very pretentious OOC dialogue from Starlight, and the ending feels like it's trying too hard to set up a concrete happy ending for a pony who will have quite a lot of deaths weighing down on her conscience by the time she reaches it.
Not particularly worth it.
7754217
Starlight has too little character to be OOC.
All that canon shows is in control and arrogant or submissive and melodramatic.
Set up a concrete happy ending? Where? How? It looks naive-dark as hell to me.
7754296 "Oh hey, after you kill all the bad guys, you can go and hatch Spike anyway and make all your friends again, despite the entire point of these AU being that you don't have your friends and weren't able to hatch Spike!"
Also, no. Starlight Glimmer does have character.
Why would she need book to learn war magic? She is clever enough to adapt spells she knows for war.
This is a very good one-shot.
This was done pretty well. I hope that if you can find time and the right ideas that you might consider making this a full fleged story.
7754217
I mean, there isn't much buildup, and Starlight's dialogue seems a bit contrived.
Twilight questions NONE of what Starlight says, and eagerly starts reading her death book...
I really enjoyed this story! Though, I agree with some of the users before me that it seems like the beginning of something much larger. I'd love to see it expanded upon, but it also stands alone quite well on it's own. Well worth the feature box imho!
I also support the idea of a continuation.
Although I'm more interested in the aftermath as she has to deal with Celestia, Equestria, Spike and the rest of the mane 6.
7754891
There is a book involved, therefore bibliophilic Pre-ponyville Twilight Sparkle is entirely in character here.
7755950
A literal stranger gives you an enchanted book. What part of this is not extremely sketchy?
7756049 Like how a literal stranger posts words and people read them here. There are two ways to go about this. One, we have a Twilight who has seen secondhand the tragedy of war, and she'll take any hope that could stop it. Two, Twilight sees a loosely bound set of pages that not even a foal would find intimidating. With that in mind, she reads the first page that turns to dust. Once the severity of the spells is explained (hence the need to include burn after reading), it interests her further. Yes, it does seem a bit out of character that she doesn't question Starlight like her counterpart questioned her future self. Considering the circumstances, I can see why she would listen.
Overall, I'm interested in where this could go. What lead Starlight down this road? Does Twilight know? How did she visit the same timelines Twilight did, as opposed to creating even more divergences?
7756206
I said this lower in the comments, but I think a very good "Quantum Leap" type story could be had with Starlight trying to fix all the worlds we saw. Spike would be a fun Al character, with Twilight as Ziggy. It's just not the type of story I'm good at.
I may come back to this world after Christmas, but it will be Twilight focused story that will open right after the end of the war.
7756049
Haven't you watched the show?
7756433 This way, she can't guarantee she leaves them safe. Like in Quantum Leap, where another time traveller goes through behind him, breaking the changes.
She doesn't fix alternate Starlights, who she might have doomed. Once the worlds get fixed, they might someday go through time before Cloudsdale, that would also change all timelines. [err: spawn new broken ones][which might do anything to current Starlight - even duplicate her in them]
7753479
Perhaps you meant 'folly'?
*others
7754217 Nice avatar.
7757206
Wholly, was what that should have been. Good catch, thank you.
"Somewhere in that fray Shining Armor lead brave ponies to fight and push those dark forces back." No I don't think so. I believe he was mind controlled and working for Sombra .
7757783
Is that canon somewhere? just re-watched the flashback, didn't see him in it.
Though, Now I'm thinking that would be a more interesting story. I can see Twilight being desperate for power to find and save her brother.
7757808 I have be re-watching it too and I see a white pony leading the charge for him. The white pony that jumps on Rainbow's
7757838
More a cream color than white. But that said, you could read it either way.
Fuck this was good. For real.
This needs a continuation/sequel. It's fine as a stand-alone as it is, but there is definitely a sense of "Only the Beginning" going on in the undercurrent.
That, and I keep imagining the scene where Twilight is called before Celestia to find out where exactly she learned "Forbidden" magic that was scrubbed from every record she would otherwise have had access to, and the look on the Princess' face when she sees the Element of Magic Amulet.
7753338
Well, you know, Starlight's whole character can be defined "Wants to be a good pony, but has no clue how to do that". Unintentional consequences would be right up her alley.
Makes me wonder did Starlight do this behind princess Twilight's back or was there a consensus that as horrible as the death spells were stopping Sombra and saving that world was more important
Sequel?
7758915
Maybe. Have to finish Strange Gifts first.
7758992 k
7758992 An aftermath would also work.