• Member Since 15th Jul, 2016
  • offline last seen Apr 2nd, 2020

CoffeeBean


There goes my hero.

E

Love is one feeling that can never be taken from someone's heart. No matter how many years of separation, no matter what wrongs were done in the past, no matter how much enmity exists between two ponies, love will always stand; at least that's what Nightmare Moon is hoping for. 700 years ago was the last time she had seen her sister Celestia, and her departing words had simply been 'I love you'. Now, after so long, Nightmare Moon's heart longs for its other half; and thus, she has brought Celestia back from the far away, magically void lands she cast her to so long ago. Now, she wonders if her sister will ever find it in her heart to forgive her for what she's done, and if their lives together can ever resume as they once had.


Takes place 300 years before when Luna would have returned from her banishment to the moon, and takes place in a universe where Nightmare Moon was never banished in the first place.


TVTropes Page!
Thanks everyone for getting the story to the feature box! (12/10/16)
This is now my 1st story to have broken 200 likes! Thank you all so much!
SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 401 )

7713155 your comments are always the worst, lol.

Interesting... If one uses the idea that during the banishment, Canon Luna was used a state of stasis, it would explain why Nightmare Moon looks so unaffected by the passage of time when she returned, but this Celestia had to live alone in that island in normal time... such isolation certainly would have hurt her mind...

7730112 Well, I guess you'll have to stick around and read the next chapters when they come out! Chapter 1 will be out tomorrow, and chapter 2 will be out the following day, and so forth.

This is going to be a depressing story, Celestia's anger towards Nightmare Moon is completely justified, she took away everything she loved.
I'm assuming that the night is eternal in this Equestria so even if Nightmare Moon tries to bring back the day in an attempt to reconcile with Celestia, every single pony in Equestria would immediately reject it due to it's brightness, they've spent their entire life in the night after all. It would be like 700 years ago with ponies now rejecting the day instead of the night.

I do hope for a crucial moment where Celestia called Nightmare Moon by her real name, Luna.

7730240 Boy, you predicted a lot.

This will be a depressing story. I might add a 'sad' tag in the future.

I'll be interested in where this goes.


Corrections offered without malice.

the suit she had selected for Celestia

suite

armored shawl

peytral


Your said-tags have capital letters when they shouldn't, like

suggest something?" Inquired

and periods when they shouldn't, like

"She isn't." Returned Nightmare,

And then you mix up an action tag.

stops." she placed a hoof on the door.

There're sections in the writing guide right here on these topics.

7730844 Funny; I was just talking to my friend on how I don't get enough comments of people telling me what I did wrong.

Thank you dearly. Also; care to be my editor for a bit? Chapter 1 and 2 are complete, I'm just staggering the publishing.

Very interesting! Keep going!

When Nightmare Moon mentions Celestia being her special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day, it was a reference to Ancient Hearts, wasn't it?

For anyone who complain about Celestia being aggressive, you must understand the emotional pain she's going through, she lost absolutely everything: her home, her magic, her place as ruler, her sun, the Equestria she used to know it's long gone; the only thing she has left is her life, which she doesn't seems to have much control of. Her hatred toward everypony is understandable.

7732899 SOMEONE GETS IT.

I put that disclaimer because I knew SOMEONE would say something along the lines of "Why is Celestia so rude? She's a nice ruler, hur hur I didn't actually pay attention when I read this."

7732901 Honestly I'm surprised she isn't angrier. Seven hundred years of isolation to chew on an old betrayal... Celestia's made of some pretty stern stuff. :rainbowlaugh:

7733252 Celestia'll deal with her problems in ways I feel will continue to surprise you.

Poor Celly...:fluttercry:
At least she's getting a little better.

In certai narea's I thin Celestia went to far. anger at her sister, justified, anger at some of the ponies words, no doubt but she was hostile before the ponies even had a chance. At least she is learning from it.

I really look forward to an update... Also, I think you did Celestia perfectly!

I don't really have any complaints about this story so far, except that this chapter felt a little long with 6000 words. (Though I have read longer ones).

7736003 Well, chapter 2 will be out today, and it's only 4000 words! Also, glad to hear you've liked the story so far; make sure to either follow my page for when I do post updates or add it to your tracking list.

Man that was a good chapter! :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy:

So basically Celestia is dying, she doesn't have enough magic to sustain her life any longer, she wants to die, she knows she'll never get her magic back, she knows the sun will never shine on Equestria ever again, she is aware that Nightmare Moon doesn't trust her, she doesn't see a purpose to live any longer.

"She couldn't shake the resemblance from her mind. A shattered light."

Oooh, an amazing analogy right there, and an excellent way to end the chapter!

And as always, an amazing chapter :pinkiehappy:

7737402 Bout the reaction this entire story will aim for.

7737414 I too thought I was a grand ending! I'm glad to see your consistent reading, and addition to your shelf! Chapter 4 is already in the making.

I'm really loving the story so far, you nailed every character perfectly.

Nightmare Moon is becoming a bit harder to sympathy with, in the end, she's still a selfish mare that has done nothing to help or even understand Celestia, in fact, she's harming her unintentionally, the dreams instead of bringing happiness they are a reminder of what she lost. Iris mention about making Celestia understand and appreciate the beauty night, the thing is they do not appreciate nor understand the beauty that the day brings.
I do really hope that Celestia tell Nightmare Moon everything she think of her, maybe that'll make her understand the agony she's going through.

I'll be keeping an eye on this story. It's doing a lot of things right. :twilightsmile:

I was afraid that Celestia was going to forgive/forget too soon, but I'm glad to see things playing out nicely.

If I have a concern right now, it's that Nightmare Moon might get a free pass on the 'eternal night' thing. The implication here is that everyone just adapted to it and it's no big deal, which would be very disappointing if true.

7742651 All I'll say is that there'll be an interesting clash of what Celestia interprets, Nightmare believes, and what those around them feel.

7742669 It will be interesting to see. I'm only concerned because I've seen too many stories treat the lack of sun like a cosmetic change, rather than something with tangible consequences.

7742691 Well, this story isn't focused on that entire aspect of the world so much as it as focused on the characters. Spending time to flush out the details of how a purely night-time Equestria would work is a waste of time for me in this case, because it just doesn't fit. Basically; imagine that magic has done a lot of work keeping things alive and well, mainly the darker side of magic as opposed to the light Celestia is used to and harnesses.

7742729 The trouble for me isn't the lack of explanation for how a sunless Equestria functions, but that a sunless Equestria functions at all.

I mean, if the world has somehow evolved past a need for the sun, what function does Celestia serve? What function did she ever serve if the world gets by just fine without her? It reduces Nightmare Moon's "crime" to the level of a personal spat if removing her sister from power has no negative repercussions.

I have a similar problem with the portrayal of unicorns in a lot of stories. If unicorn magic can do pretty much anything, why even have pegasi and earth ponies? :twilightsheepish: :rainbowderp: :applejackconfused: If the world places no limits on magic, then the world consequently becomes less magical.

7743050

The trouble for me isn't the lack of explanation for how a sunless Equestria functions, but that a sunless Equestria functions at all.

If you recall, it is canon that a sunless Equestria can work properly, ie this clip

I have a similar problem with the portrayal of unicorns in a lot of stories. If unicorn magic can do pretty much anything, why even have pegasi and earth ponies? If the world places no limits on magic, then the world consequently becomes less magical.

It's not really a portrayal as much as people following what's established by the show. Magic is only limited by the one wielding it. Starlight Glimmer can do all sorts of sick tricks even though she's a standard Unicorn because she's well-trained, and it's pretty established that some are born with innate abilities greater than others.

It's also established in the canon that standard Unicorns can't quite grow crops and they can't fly or walk on clouds without spells that border on being illegal.

Also, I should like to say I'm not trying to argue or say that you're wrong or anything, I'm simply stating how I view the subjects you brought up.

7743510 The scope of that episode doesn't actually touch on how that Equestria functions, just that it exists. We're never privy to what the lack of Sun has done.

Regarding the unicorn analogy, as you pointed out, unicorns in general can't wholly assume the role of pegasi or earth ponies, and vice-versa. Quite a few stories don't really take that into account. Yet the implication here is that the Night can wholly assume the role of the Day without major negative consequence, which to me feels like it's running along the same lines.

7743629 Well, I can't defend my position without giving away story details; so you'll just have to wait till the next chapters come out :raritywink:

There really is nothing like a nice, long, HOT, shower.

Why not add a sad tag now?

I didn't notice a lot of errors, but I was admittedly a bit too caught up in the story to notice. I did spot one, though:

We hath had nay energy since our return, and we . Sleep consumes most of our time..."

On a more general note, there are some problems with your use of punctuation in and around dialogue. Commas that should be periods, and vice-versa, and mis-capitalized words, that sort of things. It's not too distracting, but it isn't correct. :applejackunsure:

As far as the chapter itself, I liked it a lot. It was good to finally see Nightmare Moon and Celestia having words, and I'm glad to see some of my concerns from last chapter being addressed during their conversation. I'm liking this take on Nightmare Moon as well. She's sympathetic, but she's still very much the "bad guy." It makes me wonder if/how much she's lying to Celestia right now.

7756188 It's one of the author's other stories. This one.

7756188
You can find it by clicking on this here text.


CoffeeBean, I use a free Google Chrome app called "Grammarly" that auto checks for spelling errors, and it thankfully runs on this site.

7756462 Ah, my classic thing that I've done; forget to go back and add parts to a sentence.

And yes, I have a HORRIBLE time with comma splices and correct dialogue punctuation. If you know some tips, pm me with them. I could use an editor, lol.

Also; glad to hear you've been liking the story! Makes me happy that you enjoy it.

Comment posted by Matthewl419 deleted Nov 29th, 2016

7756531 I use edge for security reasons, but I have used Grammarly and it doesn't catch comma splices.

7756190 Do you think this story has earned it? I think the use of the 'sad' tag is only warranted if the story is sad/depressing, but I don't know if my work has earned the tag.

Her stomach still felt as blade after blade had been driven into it,

Missing a "though" or "if" after "as", I think? :twilightsmile:

It seems as though the Sisters are finally starting to break through to each other. I'm enjoying this emotional tension! :twilightsmile:

7756748

Well, even though it isn't perfect, it does help out a lot. And it does catch missing/ incorrect commas... for me at least.

7730240 The ponies either all died from freezing solid or rickets (no sun = no Vitamin D).

:trollestia:

Ooh, an update... I like this one.


7770924
I like to think that Equestria is like Earth and has a planet core which provides heat, that can then be increased by magic.. Also, vitamin D supplements.

7772426 Nah, they flew through the planet core and found some Goongas. (Gungans?) Goongans.

And supplements? Pah! As if those primitive ponies could produce provitamins!

:trollestia:

7773725

But this is Equestria, not Naboo...... (And it is supposed to be spelled "Gungans." )

And to the vitamins, surely someone somewhere could use magic to create them, then get rich because ponies need them to survive.

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