Spike's Hidden Guilt

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Shakespearicles

Shakespearicles #1 · Feb 14th, 2016 · 4 · ·

This was originally written as a clopfic, but then changed to try to be teen, but it just wasn't going to happen. Thus, just mature.

90% of my fics

Tatsurou

Tatsurou #2 · Feb 14th, 2016 · 4 · ·

Damn...this would have been so hot as a full on clopfic.

Still pretty hot as is, though.

Ekhidna

Ekhidna #3 · Feb 14th, 2016 · 3 · ·

6935763 I approve.

lazyreader19

lazyreader19 #4 · Feb 15th, 2016 · · ·

6935799 I hear ya.

OmniFox

OmniFox #5 · Feb 15th, 2016 · · ·

And yet he didn't make a move.

Michael Hudson

Michael Hudson #6 · Feb 15th, 2016 · 1 · ·

6937859 Sex was not what he wanted most, so the move he did make got him what he truly desired.

OmniFox

OmniFox #7 · Feb 15th, 2016 · 2 · ·

6937869 But the urges will bottle you up until......

PonyDragon

PonyDragon #8 · Feb 17th, 2016 · 2 · ·

He didn’t care what he got to watch, or the moans that entered his ears, he would not let the beast within him win.

We're proud of you, Spike. Not every dragon can do this.

Good story!
But I still don't get the ending. Why is Fluttershy suddenly crying? Does it have something to do the letter (?) he wrote?

I fond two typos and have two suggestions:

Spike’s green eyes shone as as his.... desire?

One word too much.

He wasn’t going the way he normally did

Here are two spaces. (Not really a typo, so I hope I'm not too annoying.)

Sometimes Spike has skin, sometimes scales. Since it's anthro, both could be considered right, but better decide and stay constant.

Also put the letter in a <quote> box. Looks much better that this indentations. If you don't believe me, just try it out.

Michael Hudson

Michael Hudson #9 · Feb 17th, 2016 · · ·

6947121 I have no issues with people fixing my mistakes, and I'm sorry about the scales bit. I write Spike sooooo little (even though I do like him and see potential in him as a character for stories), that I slipped. Sorry.

As for the crying, yes. The exact contents are up to you, but the general idea is that those are tears of joy from him wanting to be with her too.

MasterBrony Forever