• Member Since 12th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 2nd, 2018

Desideratium


It's true, you know. In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.

T

You are a quiet and introverted musician. You dislike showing off your talent (for music or magic) but the opportunity of a lifetime arises, and going against your character, you accept. But when a certain grey mare enters the picture, you realize that you've gotten into more than you bargained for.

Chapters (31)
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Comments ( 573 )

I generally avoid second-person stories - I blame Jay McInerney - but this one seems more compelling than most.

755094
Thanks for the positive input!
Hopefully the rest of the story will live up to your expectations :pinkiehappy:

I've only just started reading but i feel the need to point out that while world building and details are good stuff, there's only that much trivial things like making the bed and doing dishes that people (i) can read without, well loosing interest. Maybe my attention span isn't the longest, but i felt the need to point that out.
i'll continue to read and give my verdict when im done with the chapter.

Edit: i can find no grammar errors or anything like that, then again, i wasn't looking for them.
The one thing that did bother me was this little bit "the melody to “Giggle at the Ghosties,” by Pinkie Pie", while i have nothing against the song, in fact i love it, it still feels out of place to use that particular song. Any classical piano piece would have been better, adding to the serious feeling i kept getting from this fic.
Other then that? i'd say good stuff, i'll keep reading!

I found nothing that bothered me in this chapter, i actually found myself wanting to play around with the Colorchanging spell, The things i'd do with it!
I'm glad you went a little into detail about the repair spell and the fact that you pointed out that it was exhausting, it helped.
good stuff~
Onward!

im commenting on every chapter. Internet stalking Ftw.
but i keep finding stuff to point out, firstly my utter hate for the word "dearie", i know, i know, it's a word, but i hate it.
:pinkiecrazy:

I found nothing wrong, and to be honest i really liked this chapter, best one so far.
I like this story, i was skeptical at first but now that I've read it, i can say that it's a good, lighthearted, almost calming read.
Am i sounding like a fanboy? because i always glorify things right after i've read them.
all in all, faved, tracked~
i want to see where this goes.

Bonus point for me, episode 18, The show stoppers.

787707
Nailed it.
Wow, thanks for the sudden tidal wave of input after weeks of radio silence! I really hope the rest of the story lives up to your expectations! :pinkiehappy:
(And I might have to throw in a few more "dearie"s, just for you) ::scootangel:

(Also, fixed the music reference at the beginning. You like?)

787782
For every "dearie" i find in your future chapters im going to nail a fruit to a tree on my yard and send it to you with an angry mail. :pinkiecrazy:
now for my serious reply.

I'll start with why i even decided to read this, i don't like second person all that much and I'm more of the "OMG EPIC ADVENTURE AND MAGIX" type of reader.
But, it was actually the lack of comments that made me want to read it, since i know myself how lame (frustrating) it is to do something and not get any sort of feedback.
So i read it and (sorry) to my surprise, liked it, and now you're stuck with me bothering your every chapter, Deal with it.

Music reference, it's a lot better, i'll give you that, but for further "SRSNESS" i'd suggest actually finding a piano piece (GOOGLE) and just "ponify" it, i always find ponified names add alot of feeling.

there you go.
Also, im serious about the fruits. Stay low on the Dearies and you'll save some fruit.

787860
Well, I'll expect plenty of fruit nailed to trees in my inbox.
Again, thanks for the input, and I'll work on the musical reference. Maybe I'll find something that works. :applejackunsure:

788118
im serious, fruits will be nailed.

"Prelude in C# Minor Op. 3, No. 2 ", by Sergei Rachmanin"hoof"
that's just an example though, just Google piano pieces, and insert typical Pony name/thingy.

Now it's time for bed, i'll be looking forward to the next chapter :)
And we'll see how much fruit i'll have to sacrifice by then.

God dammit, That Vinyl. So wonderfully annoying!
makes you wonder if you should hug her or punch her. Ha!

The piano piece that was "played" in the beginning was nicely written, i could almost hear it playing in my head, Almost~ :ajsmug:

only real issue right now?
i want more.

805047
Wow, I didn't think this chapter turned out so well!
Vinyl is a great character and all, but I didn't think I did a good job writing as her.
Anyway, I guess I have to keep going! :pinkiehappy:

(By the way, no "dearie" in this chapter. Couldn't fit it in nicely.)

805801
i for one liked this chapter and the way you write vinyl, she's different from the "other" vinyls, in a eccentric and annoyingly good way.
and thank god you couldn't fit in any "dearie".. i only have a few apples at home, i was afraid i wouldn't have enough ^^
Keep writing! :D

I have to say, this here is one of the better romance fictions I've seen out there. It's not as popular as mine yet, but I hope to see it in the featured box one day! :pinkiehappy:
There are no real grammar mistakes and if there were any, they evaded my keen eye. Do keep writing, good sir. You have earned my green thumb! ^^

811105
Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
I'm going to have to take some time to have a look at your work, so expect some feedback from me soon.
Cheers! :pinkiehappy:

I FOUND ONE, I F***KING FOUND A DEARIE.
i'll Edit this comment in a few minutes.

Edit: i Told you, for every Dearie, i'd nail a fruit to a tree, so here you go, couldn't find any nails, so i had to improvise.
i50.tinypic.com/2l9gtw6.jpg

About the actual chapter?
it feels and reads like you're improving, hard to put into words, but the it flowed a lot better, kinda.
Can't find anything to point out either, and you're writing fast, wasn't expecting a chapter for atleast another 2 days.
Good stuff.

I don't like Vinyl referring to others as 'lesser beings'. It's not that I think it's out of character or anything, but it's just a sore spot for me; whoever does it.

Liking how the story is going so far!

817322
Sorry if I hit a sore spot, but Vinyl was kidding about it, after all.

816335
Just for you! :rainbowkiss:
Again, thanks for the feedback! And you sure taught that apple a lesson :pinkiegasp: I now know what you are capable of. Please don't hurt me :fluttercry:

Still going strong, I see. :pinkiesmile:

879872
Thanks for checking back with me!
I hope I can live up to expectations! :pinkiehappy:

err, mind working slowly, heat killing me, failed to notice any "dearies" except one.
err...
"handpicked"?
Nope.
Hoofpicked, please.
Foreshadowing! Octy almost kills new pianist.
:D

am i able to give any real feedback?
No.

im out.

888280
Whoops. Humanized terms don't usually slip by me like that,
*Fixed

(Also, you've found the only "dearie." Didn't want to overdo it.)

Oxy

Hmm, I might use this personality for Vonyl in my fic, that okii with u?

905438
If I've inspired creativity, that makes my day.
Go for it, mate. :pinkiehappy:

Very nice of Octavia. (Of course she'd have, um, nice hoofwriting. And I couldn't think of a way to tweak "penmanship" in a suitably Equestrian manner.)

Conventional wisdom holds that orchestras, once out of sight of the audience, tend to be ridden with anxiety, turmoil, and any number of other ailments that belie their rigidly-organized appearance. I have not researched this myself, but every musician I know swears it's true.

919031
Well, then. This should be an interesting ride. I might have to tweak my intentions a bit to accommodate that. :trixieshiftright:

I actually have been to a orchestra here in Calgary, and you could actually hear the bickering when they were backstage. And its true once they get on stage they put on a stone face to get through it all

my thoughts are a little "all over the place" now that i finally got to read this, I'm not entierly sure what i think.
But i do know that you mentioned the fact that not every unicorn can use magic all day long, this was the first time i've read that, and i liked it.

Awaiting next chapter~
I want to see Octy rip him to shreds.
:twilightsmile:

I've seen a few concert halls in my day, and this one sounds like something from Old Europe, grudgingly updated for modern aesthetics and/or acoustics. If only I could hear what the music sounds like. I'd bet it's wondrous.

I concur.

In other things i like this chapter. Cant wait for the next one though and well keep it up

937896
938016


Thanks to both of you!
Next up we might have a bit more Octavia. There's been a shortage, and I feel I need to remedy that. :pinkiehappy:

A little while ago, I checked into FimFiction and noticed that my followers have doubled in a matter of hours.
Using that motivation, I sat down and cranked out this chapter in one sitting.
Enjoy.

- Desideratium

:pinkiehappy:

Well i have to say, i love this chapter. You seemed to capture what everyone feels when it comes to open auditions. You deserve those followers

This is about the only redeeming social value I can see in my utter lack of musical talent: I'd never have to go through an open audition.

943940

I, being musically retarded, have never actually attended an audition myself either. Also, I have no idea what goes on behind the scenes in an orchestra, so my portrayal is most likely going to be horribly incorrect. From here on out, I'm winging it.

Oxy

Wow, this chapter was simply amazing, and that piece really added to it!

Reading those last few lines with "Octavia's Lullaby" was amazing, not only did i get to read something good, i got introduced to some good music.
Best way to start a day, Ever.

The song is quietly coming to an end, and im dying to read more.
Bravo!
:twilightsmile:

946010
That song showed up on EqD, and I thought it was perfect for this. While I was writing this, I probably listened to it for an hour straight. So beautiful. :twilightsmile:

Haha got to love Derpy :) I usually don't like stories in first or second pony but this is written pretty well.

Discord would absolutely love that room. Is the character that is on second pony Vinyl Scratch?

...... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

967415
Read next chapter, then find out. :pinkiehappy:

Loving the story so far. Keep it up!

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