His Letter
Dear Twilight,
How have you been? It's Hard to bElieve it's been three months since I left Ponyville! I haven't gotten a single letter from you, so I figured, "Hey this works both ways!" I'm sorry that I left so abruptLy, and only by leaving a note, but I had a train to catch. Also, I've probably had a bit too much to drink tonight. So, sorry if I get a little too personal.
As I'm sure you and the others have read by now, I left town to go finally meet my long time Penpal, who simply went by the name of Crystal. Well, as I'M sure you've figured out by now, I love it here and have decidEd to stay. Crystal is just so beautiful, Twilight. And It turns out she's born from royalty too!
She didn't want to give away her identity in her letters, so out of respect, I won't either. But I knew instantly when I arrived that this place would be My new home. The halls in her home are so vast and long that it's very, very easy to get lost in them. HeCk, I don't really even remember where the front doors are sometimes. However, since sHe's from Royalty, she has tons of guards and servants that roam the halls and theY will happily escort me to my room.
I have to admit that it's a lot quieter over here than in Ponyville. Nopony wants to talk or play. In fact, most of the time they aSk me to stay in my room. But, I mean, it could be much worse.
My room hAs everything I need. A nice bed, that could probabLy be a little larger, but I've always been a bIt too tall. A little toilet. No window, but they have a new type of modern architecture they use, where a whole wall iS tranSparent, including the door.
Which makes sense, since most ponies don't wear any clothes, but it still makes me a little nervous to use the bathroom. Oh well.
The food is pretty good here, but I swear, I think everyPony is on a diet. I seem to only get one meal a day. It's been fantastic for my figuRe though! I've lost so much weight! And the good thing about diets is that you begin to forget how hungry you are after a while.
Despite Crystal being a very, very busy mare, she still manages to find time for us to spend some private time together. I know Rarity wIll want all the juicy details, so I'll try to provide as much as I can. Usually every other night, I get a message from one of guards that I'm being Summoned to her quarters. So then, two of her servants help guide me up to her roOm.
You know, so I don't get lost.
And once I get iNside, her and I finally have some time to be alone. That's usually when her and I get to have dinnEr. It must surely be a sign of the society, because she always seems to be full, but I leave with an empty feeling. But at night, we have all soRts of passion. I'm really not Into it every night, but she wants it, so I end up going along with it. I mean, as long as she's happy, right?
Oh! I already found a new Job here, too. It turns out that they have a lot of need for blUe-collar work. Since I got so used to it in Ponyville, it was a perfect fit for me. Right now they have me working in construction, which iSn't so bad. Our deadlines are very, very strict and the foreman can be a major jerk sometimes. But I spend a lot of time carrying materials from one side of the castle to another, or helping make the basement bigger, or breaking down some of the dirT and rock we excavate from the basement.
It's very, very tiring work, and most nights I end up just feeling spent. The nights that I get to spend with Crystal, I suppose I only get... maybe 4 hours of sleep? So, sometimes I almost don't Want to go up to spend the night with her.
I alwAys end up feeling sluggish and weaker the next day. You'd think that all of the hard work would strengtheN my muscles, but I'm beginning to think there's too little protein in the food. I'm certainly lean, but I don't seem to be getting stronger.
It's a shame, I'd love to have some sweet muscles to show off. Otherwise, Things aren't too much different from Ponyville over here. I spend some of my free time daydreaming about what iT was like back in Ponyville, hanging out with you and the rest of the girls. I really wish I cOuld come out and visit, but there always seems to be some big project that forbids me from coming back. It's really a Disappointment.
I would love to get outside, smell the fresh Ponyville aIr and to feel the sun on my skin again. Hopefully sometimE very soon, I'll be able to come back. So, I suppose I should get to the oTher reason I'm writing you this letter. See, the main reason why I'm not coming back is that Crystal and I are to be wed. THey want it to be a very low key and quiet wedding, so I think you and the girls might be the only people who will get to find out.
I asked if I could invite all of you gIrls over, but they really wanted everything to remain private. It's really a Shame. If I could have, I would have made you best mare!
But, you know the thIng about weddingS. That Means it'll be just a matter of time before I become a father! I'm really nervous Twilight. I suppose their familY really, really loves kids. They tend to have eight or more children per royal daughter! Isn't that crazy? I get to be a Father. Sometimes I can barely remember to make my bed every morning, and I always get IN trouble from the maids.
I have no idea how I'm going to be Able to take care of all of them, but CrystaL doesn't seem to be worried. She says my body has a lot of room for love. I'm just trying to hold onto that thought as tightly as I Can. Anyway, since I got a lot of work over here pReparing for the wedding, I have a big favor to ask of you.
Would you help me and sell off all my things in PonYville? I know it's a lot to ask, but since I won't be coming back, I might as well have the bits. Just hold onto them for now, I'll send another letter for when I'm ready For you to send them. Thank you sO much, Twilight.
And, I know you might not appRove of all of this happening so fast, but I'm happy. Truly Happy, for the first time since I arrived in Equestria. I'm not sure how you'll sell evErything but.
You're the smartest pony I know. Please figure it out.
Anyway, I hope this Letter can get through the mail service pretty quickly. I had to pull a few strings to get this letter to you on express delivery. It seems they lose mail quite often here. Oh well, I can't wait for your rePly.
Sincerely,
Anonymous
Do you guys have any idea for what I should send him for a wedding gift? I hope he sends pictures!
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I mean nO False Flattery when I say I sImply Could not stop rEading this Letter. It should cOme as no surprise, seeing as I'm Very invEsted in your Work. AltHough, isn't thEre something else you could be workiNg on?
6584663
Subtle.
Well, damn.
wow that was interesting and very smart, I like it
Right creepy. Well done!
SPOILER
HELP ME. CHRYSALIS'S PRISONER. I JUST WANT TO DIE. THIS IS MY FINAL CRY FOR HELP
................. Its a very different style of dark I like it
6585022
Oh come on, at least spoiler that shit.
Rude.
6585026
Happy besides I assumed people would read the story then comment or look at the comments
...
Damn. That is really dark.
Well done!
Well this got me in the Halloween spirit.
Damn, that was pretty dark.
Ok, can somebody tell me how to translate the secret message in this?
For a wedding gift, I recommend a rescue party since that's what he needs most.
I admit it I read the spoiler comment, however I did figure out that there was a secret message when I noticed the out of place caps, I was simply too tired to figure it out on my own at the time.
Cool story will there be a sequel?
Damn, that was dark. It's so sad that Twilight doesn't understand the secret code to it.
Silly Anon. That's not how capitalization works.
The hidden message in all the incorrectly capitalized letters, for anyone who wants to know, is: help me chrysalis prisoner just want to die this is my final cry for help
6585707
you know it's a hidden message right?
6585160
all the capitalized letters.
Nice letter there anon, real subtle
Hm. Not bad, not bad.
Most normally go the "first letter in each paragraph" route with this kinda thing.
~Skeeter The Lurker
6585999
Yeah. That's the joke.
6586271
Yep! I wanted to do something different. I was thinking of forcing everyone to do a cesearian cypher on top of it, but I figured it might be too much work for a short, fun romp.
6586546
That's only if you have some huge, mind blowing message to hide.
As is, this worked pretty good.
~Skeeter The Lurker
6586546
That's enough Gravity Falls for you, young man.
Damn, son.
Sequel please?
6586288
I was just making sure.....
As much as I liked the whole thing with the secret message hidden in the words to reveal a dark twist in a seemingly innocuous story, I thought that the big plot twist in this one was simply too obvious. Even before spelling out the hidden words, I had as already pretty much guessed what was actually going on. As such, the reveal just fell flat to me. It wasn't poorly written or anything, but the story didn't do anything for me.
....I'm crying.
I am actually crying.
There is a way that stories with dark themes need to be executed in order for them to work properly, and when that way is fulfilled, the story can succeed in a number of ways. What you've done is take a combination of horror and heart-wrenching and blend them into one of the most bittersweet smoothies I could ever taste. Judging from the other comments (at least what I could read on the front page), the majority of other readers manage to drink this smoothie with a grain of salt. So unless there's some other wuss in the back corner, allow me to be the first one to actually admit to breaking down and weeping after reading this story.
The description and introduction in combination with the "Dark" tag immediately left me with a heavy sense of unease. The first thought that came to mind was "This is way too happy. Far too happy to be real.". Then, once I started reading and saw that first incorrectly capitalized letter, I had a feeling I knew how this was going to go down. As I read, I made sure to mark down each and every one of the letters I could note. Every word I formed just made the feeling worse and worse, especially when I was reading the whole thing as I was marking. By the time I reached the end, I had a mixture of emotions in my head. Most of all, I was actually feeling sorry for this guy. Anon, this universal cardboard cut-out for the MLP fanfiction, this interchangeable being that can be stuck into any story, this blank slate... he is in this situation and I actually am begging for this guy to get come and rescued. Something, anything has to come in and put that overgrown cockroach out of her misery!
Is there going to be a sequel made of this? Will it be the salvation I so desperately need right now? Will it just be more heartache and more of a soul-ripping experience? Will this be it? All I know is that this story is just... just so... I can't even begin to describe just what it's put me through. Well done, Flutterpriest, really well done.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cry in a corner.
6584663
clever if a bit cheeky, it made me lol.
6586546 i really want to see a follow up to this. maybe see the m6 forced to confront a mercy killing situation and the fall out or maybe anon and to now face life after his experiences and the changes its had on him. the possibilities are the skys.
This letter look oddly suspicious
Good story, just a little late for Scaremas.Look at this idiot, he doesn't look at the chapter post date!
Good story. Nice letter. I had fun with it.
It seems I found a few letters more than other people, but who's correct here?
My secret decoder ring found (difference bold): helpmeirmchrysalissprisonerjustwanttodiethisismyfinalcryforhelp
Which (ignoring the odd character out), filling in the blanks gives: Help me. I'm Chrysalis's prisoner. Just want to die. This is my final cry for help.
Also, minor typo (possibly intentional):
6591310
Thank you! I'll fix these. Much obliged
When I read the title and saw the dark tag, I thought it was some sort of suicide letter.
This might actually worse, considering what's actually happened to Anon
There go my feels
6587643
No worries. It wasn't a very good joke.
Twilight Sparkle: We have to save him
Rainbow Dash: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go
My father always told me marriage was a like a life sentence.
Dude....that very dark and subtle. Well written by the way.
Awesome.
Frustrating how difficult it is to make your brain pick up every capital 'I'. They look just like a lowercase 'L' and you see them all the time in "I'm" and stuff.
Not the most subtle of codes, but using a code that involves taking evey misspelld word/eXcluded letter woulD require you to hve perfect speling to begin with, or at east an amazing editor. Not to mention everyone reading would need to know how to pell every word. It's relly sad that's not viable on this kin of medium.
6611158
Wait a minute...
REXDALL SAD
6611161
Eh, I was trying to use too many at once. Was just supposed to be:
*finish reading the actual message*
really sad XD
AND SEEE!!!!!
I CAN'T EVEN DO IT! I MISSED A FREAKING 'Y'
I'm an idiot.
6611196
Haha! I know that feeling. I felt like that when i was editing this story.
I got maybe a quarter of the way thru before I noticed the pattern.
6584663 I tried assembling your capital letters and only understood the word 'office'. What's the rest of it?
Youput it in the wrong order!!! Stil fucking awesome and dark, and I like the dark themes!!!
Not sure if this is dark or i'm just too dark to see this much dark.encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2Bw_HDSBff0-ZKzYnF2xMD_ueWCiBXUrYon_ZCU09wTJxmxA_
6612468
Nope. Gotta figure it out.
6613881
OFFCE LOVE WHEN
You're missing an 'I'.
WHY THE HAY AM I GETTING CHILLS???? Seriously, it doesn't even seem at all scary, but everything in it seems... off. And odd. Like, what the heck is going on? Who is this "Crystal" person? WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON???? Anyway, nice story.
