• Member Since 11th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Pony writer


A wise woman once said, " Fuck this shit." And she lived happily ever after

Comments ( 152 )

Umm, is the story suppose to be written with tight paragraphs between speeches?

“what have we here?”
“I'm stuck.” Scootaloo said.
“I can see that.”

Your sentence seems off like:

“Ok,”Scootaloo said, “ you’ve had your fun..now can you let me out? Please?”

or

Scootaloo started to cry and Caramel liked the way her wet tears felt on his growing cock. Poor Scootaloo, for why are you crying? After all, YOU were the one who got into this mess!

Wait, why is the narrator talking to Scootaloo, or commenting, or making its presence known:rainbowhuh:. This fic is just too hard to read form me.

TItling the chapter "Scooty Booty" ...! :rainbowlaugh: You are such a bad girl!!! :pinkiehappy:

I like the style in which you wrote this. There's probably a technical term for being deliberately-cutesy that way while also being intentionally-dirty, but it comes off hilariously..

TYPOS:

“ Wheeee!! I'm FLYING!” She said, and spread out her front legs and buzzed her tiny little wings and sailed through the air gracefully, flying, flying flying!!

What goes up must come down and down she came, quickly

You should close the space between the quotation mark and Wheeee!! because it's showing in the story as being on two separate lines. Also, for some reason the paragraph space between "flying!!" and "What" isn't showing in your story, even though it's showing in this comment. Weird. I'm guessing that something is embedded in your original format that isn't translating to the story, not sure why.

cruel ,because

Comma should be right after "cruel" with a space between comma and "because."

Too many instances to list separately, but most of your paragraph breaks are not appearing. I'm guessing you either used an indent which didn't format in the FIMFiction text editor or a one-return paragraph and two-return section break of which one of the spaces didn't appear correctly. This should be mechanically-fixable by just going over it manually and inserting a return between each paragraph, or you could try manually-tabbing by typing in space characters.

caramel, Scootaloo thought, carmel

Second instance you left out the second "a" in "caramel."

6491843 I don't know..it was just kind of a silly story. I just threw it together.

6491897 Ah, okay. Though, you might want to add some addition tags like: rape or unconsent sex, force submission, foalcon (since she still is a filly), trollfic (if it is) or something of the like, just saying.:applejackunsure:

6491913 Thank you, I will.

:scootangel: not anymore :scootangel:

6491884 thank you, I wanted to see how I did without an editor, I should have gotten my editor.

OK so who's the asshole in this story

6492496 I like raping Scootaloo.

I very much enjoyed the story. Good clopfic

6493886 thank you!! That means a lot to me.

Sequel?


6493924 we could call it "Scootaloos Foal" tee hee

6493977 yeah we could, lets do that sequel

You, my dear, are so bad. I love it. You know my stance on the whole non-consent thing, but this was pretty good.

I do think that it could use a once over from a second set of eyes. :raritywink:

Hawt! I love the premise, and the writing was playful, if a bit unorthodox. I didn't find it too distracting, anyway.

This reminded me of glory holes, which I love reading about.

"The moral of this story is:

Don’t be an asshole!" I don't get it.:rainbowhuh: But anywho. Poor Scootaloo! You all stop picking on her!!:flutterrage: She is the best filly after all.:scootangel:

6497892 the best filly to rape!!

6497921 Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6494347 are you going mark this story to compete

6499382 i edit my first comment on this story today

So a filly stuck in a fence quickly became an improve glory hole:twilightblush:
I found this to be more silly than smutty:twilightblush::rainbowlaugh:

Still; well played:eeyup:

6499760 thank you, I meant it to be silly, and not so violent, people are still hating on it but a lot of peeps like it too. I'm glad you like it.

6499887
I can see how people wouldn't like it.
It's kinda silly, but I like it. =)

Lolwtfdidijustread.

6505998 You just read a literary masterpiece.

What in Equestria did I just read:rainbowderp:

6507089 You my dear sir, have just received a literary masterpiece

6499887 Hahahah Scootaloo gets stuck in a fence and is then brutally raped and assaulted..Hahaha I can see why you think that's funny...:applejackconfused:

6513027 Brutally? You thought it was brutal? I tried to downplay it, as a way of making it up after my last story. So did you like it?

I must've read this hundreds of times~ just so good mmm~

6517855 thank you, I just can't get it out of the negative though.
Whatever. Some people like it. Thank you so much

Out of curiosity: Is this a human concept "gloryhole" or a equine concept?
Aka: Is it males or females that "utilize" it? :P

6540898 an equine concept.

6513027 BRUTALLY?! Come on, it wasn't that brutal.
Its just a story. A fiction story. On a site filled with fiction stories about fictional characters.

6540931 So female eh?
Guess this might be somewhat more interesting than the regular rapefic then~ ;P

6542716 I think so... people seem to think this story is awful and brutal and well...well...I just don't see it. Scootaloo gets stuck in a hole and the townsponies come around and see glorious gloryholes. Besides, nowhere in the story does it say she wasn't having a good time.

6542758 Eh... this fandom is seriously butthurt and cock obsessive tbh...
I've noticed a very peculiar trend though when it comes to violence/rape in this fandom. There's a small number of people that scorn it of any kind, then there's this huuuge pile of people that are all "pro-murderporn/rape", but only if it's exclusively done to females... which I honestly find very peculiar. As you got people casually describing like: A filly being gangraped bloody and choked to death via fellatio. That totally freaks out if they basically find a glimpse of a story where a female like... does knifeplay on a male or something (even if it would be consensual) and goes all "Oh gosh! That's so immoral! I can relate to that, I CAN RELATE TO THAT!"

Erh, sorry, trailed off, late night reply xD But yeah, it's really a "... say what, again?" situation for me xP It's in both art and fics. People that casually depict females murderfucked goes all "That'd be wrong/That's too graphic!" when asked about doing a male victim, or heck, even a female perpetrator xP Might be slightly off topic, so sorry about that. Might do better as a PM if anything. But yeah... it's really odd to me how it can be that skewed... then again, the fandom is the exact same way when it comes to horsecunts+horsecocks xP One is near taboo, the other is demanded x3 Again: Really double moral thing by the fandom, yet fascinating in how they can be so ignorantly bigoted about it.

*Ahem* To get back on track: I guess most people just assume she wasn't. Cuz you know, the "scootabuse" tag? Think a large chunk of dislikes were just "superficial glance, see scootabuse, downvote". I made a well structured and relevant blog about this a while ago, how people have to stop fucking about with the tags and vote system. As the current use has a lot of abuse in it.
Oh, and to give a quick explanation about human vs equine, in case you're not fully clued in about it: Human (male) and Equine (female) are called that based on whose anatomy to glory hole is based off. So to speak. Basically, a equine glory hole is made for mares, because with equine anatomy, a mare can just press her hindquarters against the hole in the wall, and presto. (while a male would have to clamber about, along trying to balance on the hind legs) A human one, is well, based for a bipedal human, crotch high, just stick your dick in. (and a female would struggle to keep her pussy pressed against it, and the one at the other side would need to reach in to get there) And while both genders can use a glory hole, be they human or equine. It's clearly easier for one gender per species to use a glory hole than the other :P Hope that clears things up. Basically: Human = Dicks . Equine = Pussies xP

6546912 wow! Thank you! I wasn't really sure about all that. I am still really new to the fandom and don't quite know all the " terms". I am an older woman and I'm unfamiliar with some of your guys' terminology . Thank you, I really do appreciate you reading and commenting. I am going to follow you. I like you.

6542758 lol Actually, wasn't the part where she finally realized her wriggling was what was urging the colts taking her backside to rut her harder and thus stop so they'd get bored or be done with her faster? xD

Personally, DT and Silver got shooed away way too soon. Much fun was missed there. But yeah, let's not try to defend the fic. Equestrian's just happen to not have human mentality and a pony stuck in a fence is a pony stuck in a fence.

Far as the likes to dislike ratio? you got 55 likes on a gangbang Scootaloo rape fic. I think you can call this one a success. Though missed opportunity to have Scoots rim job Diamond or Silver. Just saying. Hilarious ending though. Carry on. At least Scoots got to... taste the rainbow!

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