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Cutie Mark Crusaders Forever!!!

Comments ( 203 )

Yes! Rainbow Dash to the rescue!

I am loving this. I usually hate slave play or overt domination, but then you go and make the fillies pay for it. Righteous justice, and even some feels from Scoots. Silver Spoon was VERY well done, and Diamond is still a bitch.

For real, for being a fetish piece with foal fooling, you have made a really compelling narrative, and I am hooked. Great job, duder. :ajsmug:

"Oh, wait! You can't fly anyway!"

i literately want to kill DT :twilightangry2: and i normally hate reading these kinda story's. ugh

This really is great. Unlike most foalcon fics, you're focusing on the emotions, the realization of desire, and never letting the foal become just an object. This is disturbingly romantic, and part of me thinks this could be a ScootaDash ship.

However, something tells me—and very large part of me is hoping—that we end up with Silver Spoon as the romantic interest, with Dash as a guide.

So... Yeah, great job building from a fetish fic base into an engaging narrative with real emotions and realistic character actions. Can't wait for more. :twilightsmile:

Man. Oh man.

This Christmas just keeps on giving, doesn't it? :heart: Definitely worth the wait.

So many wonderful little feels and emotions this pulled forth. Nervous anticipation earlier in the fic, complete trepidation as Scootaloo was tortured, I felt so cold and disgusted, I could barely eat my food. But man, it was worth getting through those dark waters to the warm pool that was pure vindictive pleasure as Dashie springs to the rescue. And the feels, oh GOD, the feels! And finally winding down with that shower and the time spent on the bed.

Just, so good. Funny in all the right spots with your narrative. All those 'cock-block' moments where Scoots aaalmost got touched, while Dash meanwhile was already well aware that she had stroked herself before. So good. So very wonderful. I loved this, so much. Thank you, Isseus.

Good story my friend. :twilightsmile:
One thing I have to mention though.
When Scoots and Silver went out of the clubhouse and had a talk you wrote

Diamond Tiara nodded

Since she was still inside, felling her rear pulsating into the room, I think you meant Silver Spoon.
Otherwise I really liked it when RD came in and saved the day. :pinkiesmile:
And now on to the next chapter.


"...I noticed you touching yourself today."

I just feel the rising heat from Scoots cheeks from the next chapter to this one. :rainbowlaugh:


Comment posted by Telaros deleted Mar 3rd, 2014

I'm sorry I had to delete a comment from this section. I welcome criticism, but outright personal attacks and namecalling aren't of use to anyone. I'm sure Telaros just wanted to vent, but this just isn't the place for it. He clearly had differing headcanons about the character of Diamond Tiara than I did, so let us leave it at that, please.

He mentioned me, replying to my comment. Should I weep in terror of his scathing words?

One word kind sir:MORE! We need more writers like you who are able to seamlessly mix foalcon AND romance together to make awesome fics like this. Please continue!:heart::scootangel:

4030109 I wouldn't want to come between you two loverbirds. Maybe he might give you the cliff notes version if you PM'd him? :pinkiehappy:

Ecky. Though, for odd reasons (please don't get mad :twilightsmile:) I was thinking something even worse. I saw the sex tag and I was like:OMFG are you going to rape this freaking filly Diamond?!

Well..that act is quite..disgusting

4030354 I totally understand. You can be sure that I don't do things like that. :eeyup:

Scootaloo and Silver Spoon! That's new, at least to me. But I can't say I don't find it appealing.

And that mosquito. Playing it off to make it sound like some sort of prowling predator made me laugh quite a bit. :rainbowlaugh:

i really really really liked this! tender, heartwarming, and hot! awesome combination, and i totally want more!


Bah, don't listen to him. Haters gonna... Well, you know. His points were all kinda bunk. Dash appearing at the clubhouse wasn't contrived; it was reasonably and adequately explained in narrative. DT taking Scoots to the clubhouse makes sense with your portrayal of her as a cruel, sadistic bitch. The Silver Spoon angle makes perfect sense based on what little we know about her, and paints her as a more sympathetic character due to her loyalty to DT being not the usual rote, "but I lurves her!!1!" Nonsense.

Yeah, I saw a few spelling derps, but not enough to hurt the story as a whole. :ajsmug:

I've read a lot of these stories over the years, and this one is easily the best story involving scootaloo that I've read yet. if you ever do get back to writing it I will eagerly continue reading it.

...That moment when you realize that the 2 clop fics that almost break your no clopping rule were both foalcon...:unsuresweetie:

I don't know what to think of this to be honest. I really like how well done this is, I like the characters *except Diamond but I doubt anyone reading this did* and Silver Spoon in particular sticks out in my head. I'm not sure about the random kiss she gave Scootaloo, seems a little quick to like like someone, but maybe it'll make sense later. Foalcon is not my thing, for general reasons why most people don't approve of it and I am one of them. I honestly dunno if I can consider this foalcon in my mind though, unless Dash becomes the love interest anyways. This is such an interesting story and I want to see more of it, I do like the sister relationship between Scoots and Dash, and yeah I pretty much just skimmed the sex scene since I'm not interested in this story for that, but some of what they talked about during that and Scoot's impressions like her comparisons between her parts and an adults were really nice touches. I can understand RD's point of view and why she did what she did, this story reminds me that almost anything is acceptable if under the right circumstances. I am looking forward to seeing more of this and where it goes and hoping this doesn't go to a RD x Scoots shipping.

Well, I can't really hide the fact I'm disappointed on how this fic was received. I understand that it's a taboo subject, but on my other fics dealing with the subject, Dominant Ideal and Lead. Care. Inspire. I have at least gotten pretty reasonable commentary and discussion, most of which has been pretty interesting. This time I spent over forty hours writing this fic, and CarcinoGeneticist spent countless hours editing it, and here we are. Didn't even make feature, which I fully expected I would. Hell, it's not even that! It's that from the moment I posted this fic, I got five downvotes in minutes, meaning that people came in just to stroke their moral organs and to downvote a fic they found objectionable. It didn't have anything to do with how the subject was treated or if the writing was good, it was just that they saw foals and the sex tag, spent 10 seconds opening the fic and clicking the thumb down and going on their merry way.

Let me put this in a nice way: Fuck you.

I wrote a blog about prejudice and people being afraid of their own thoughts a long time ago when Dominant Ideal came out. I suggest people give it a read... not that I'd expect any of the haters to even know how to read at all to begin with. Let them be happy reading their awesome Naruto-Halo-Fallout-Crossover-HiE-2nd person- gorefics starring YOU as Alucard fighting starships or whatever.

This fic was written as a gift to a friend and he liked it a lot. I'm really happy for that. I'm just pissed off at the FIMFic system.

Forgot to say this: More Scootadash!!!:pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Surprise Anschluss deleted Mar 6th, 2014

4039838 Blocked and reported for personal attack.

Leaving your message here for a while for the mods to see, but will soon delete it.

There we go. Bye!


Hi. This is a friendly neighborhood reminder that making comments regarding a story's content is cool 'n' all, but if you've got something to say regarding the author, try to keep off the personal attacks. Telling an author to "Go fuck yourself with a cactus" --especially when you're commenting on the story while admitting that you haven't read the story in question--is rather over the line, so please try to keep things civil.

Have a nice day.

Comment posted by Surprise Occupation deleted Mar 7th, 2014


First of all: Why on earth do you think you expect a story of you to get featured just because you put a lot of work in it and deserve it just because of that? Hard work doesn't equal high reward.

Truer words were never spoken. I've seen some fantastically half-assed crap on the feature box thrown out by writers with thousands of followers with poor editing and plot holes. That doesn't make it a good thing, btw. An author who devotes time and energy to something deserves to at least have it visible to more people, regardless of the subject matter. Look at Fallout Equestria, that's something that has precious little to do with the general aesthetic of MLP, but the quality is top and it deserves attention. Now, what if you were a fan of FoE and it never got as popular as it did. Would you be pissed?

Second: You said yourself that this fic is of questionable and very specific content that most people don't like. Therefore, it is bound receive less upvotes than a fic that meets the taste of the majority. If someone dislikes the topic, why shouldn't he be allowed to dislike? If not for this, then for what reason does a downvote button exist?

It's fine for someone to read something and then dislike it for their time, but outright punishing fics they have zero intention to read without so much as a second glance is disgusting. Every downvote stuff gets lowers the overall rating which pushes it back when browsing fics sorted by rating. Yes, this is a necessary evil because people should be privileged to downvote what they want, but each one takes the privilege of being read by more people away from a fic. I've had it happen to me, I've had people go through and down vote everything I wrote (and every comment), and it's a feeling that sucks. It's why I try to at least give MYSELF a good reason to down something.

If I see this right, you accuse everyone that disliked the story because of it's content to be illiterate, not reading the description(maybe becasue of the former point?), being haters and liking violence-glorifying crossover-gore-fics. I see how this is totally no prejudice and based on proven facts.

He was questioning the five or so people who downvoted this fic to oblivion the MOMENT HE POSTED IT. I was linked straight away, I watched this shit happen. Goes back to the downvote-without-even-looking-at-it thing.

This website is mostly viewed by guys between 16 and 30 without any shared preferences except the innocent family show and reading. Having a fetish that this story is appealing to is not mandatory. Yet, you complain that the story doesn't get the positive attention and ~"Didn't even make feature, which I fully expected I would."
Tell me again, why do you expect so many people to enjoy this fetishes?

Fics of similar nature, foalcon and all, have gotten there. Why not something he spent a lot of time and energy on, eh? Yeah, he's disappointed, but I also think you're stretching the level of 'complaining' he's doing.

My conclusion is that you are simply an extremely arrogant person and have lost any grasp of decency.

Based on what? An author being disappointed with the hateful reception a fic he put a huge effort to portray a difficult subject sensibly received?

The moment you published it, you exposed it to the public. What you obviously don't understand is that the public is not something you can expect to do what you want or even like what you do, even less since this story aims at an incredible small group of people

Haha, what? Welcome to the internet, kid.

As for the fic: I haven't downvoted it before but now I did

Sorry, this I highly doubt.

I really dislike abuse like the kind you wrote. The foalcon alone would have been more of a 'not relevant to my interest' but the slaveplay/humiliation/SM was pretty much what made me downvote it for its content.

See? It's not hard to justify a downvote.

At this point I'd like to ask you to think of any insult that comes to your mind and apply it to yourself, since I feel obligated not to use any.

Weren't you just yelled at for personal attacks by a mod like an hour ago? Is that why you're trying to artfully dodge the blame by having him self-hate?

Anyways, my point in all of this is the fact that I don't think you're looking at this from Isseus' perspective, is all.

MESSAGE TO ALL FLAMERS AND HATERS OF THIS AWESOME FIC: PISS OFF:heart: There ARE other people besides you that actually LIKE the story. Oh, and Isseus, PLEASE do continue when you get the chance. Don't let haters keep ya down:pinkiehappy::heart:

Well, beyond a distinct urge to wretch (I was actually in a similar situation years ago). I find your handling of the three fillies characters quite believable (again from experience with real bullies), though I am curious as to Silver's breaking point if there is one later in the piece. No up vote or down vote yet, but I'm going to keep reading so let's take the red pill and see how deep the rabbit hole goes ... :unsuresweetie:

Hmm, Diamond Tiara exhibiting the characteristics of a sociopath :pinkiecrazy:, with sadistic tendencies :pinkiegasp:and a heavy control predator mind set ... interesting. :unsuresweetie: You really seem to have it in for the little queen bee. I have to wonder about your research materials you used in developing this tale, I'm not exactly unread in abuse and trauma psychology. Still no up/down vote and no fave right now, so onward to chapter 3.

So Scootaloo not being orphan is this....

Hmm, yet again nice work with the character building, and kudos for keeping the eroticism low here. Good job with the frankness of the very realistic element of the voyeurism, and Scoot's thoughts as she experienced the power reversal. But you through me a :pinkiesick: for the auto-erotic moment though, sorry. Your work definitely shows the two faced side of bully and victim in Scoots thoughts, and Dash's very mature dialogue on the subject of Di and Sil's punishment was nicely handled. :raritywink: For the King Sombra reference, very good point illustration there as to just how low a level Di's behavior had reached.

No change on the up/down vote yet, your sound psychological portrayal of the Vitim-Bully dynamic is inching you closer to a possible fave, especially if I've commented on every chapter I've read so far, and for that I'm gonna keep an eye on you.

Comment posted by Surprise Occupation deleted Mar 7th, 2014

4041197 I didn't do research as such. All I had to do was go back to Elementary School and remember all the shit that was done there and after school. All the little things that the teachers didn't notice, all the little jabs, pushes, and insults.

Then I took the limitations off. I told myself: How horrible can kids become if they don't have to fear any repercussions for their actions? Then I remembered a horrid event that happened here over 20 years ago when I was just a kid. Three kids borrowed their parents' videocamera and filmed themselves torturing and killing a schoolmate. They even forgot the tape in the recorder and were caught. To this day I'm not sure if it was just an urban legend or a real thing. It's a psychological fact that kids don't have an actual moral system of their own until around ten years old. That means that most kids are only kept in check by fear of repercussions, one way or another.

In this story, Silver Spoon understood that what she and DT were doing was wrong and had never expected things to escalate into physical violence. Like she said, she thought it was only about making fun of Scoots, putting on makeup and stuff like that. Wrong, sure, but not evil as such. The problem came with Diamond Tiara, who in my mind has not been given limits as she's been growing up. She went crazy when she noticed that there was nothing she couldn't do to Scoots. Hell, it might have been that she's more immature than SS and didn't have a proper morality yet either. She might look back at the events a few years down the line and retch on how awful she was and hate herself for it. That's not what the story is about, though the idea is interesting.

The fact is, it's REALLY hard to say no to a friend. Especially if she's your ONLY friend. In this story there is a very bleak abusive relationship between DT and SS. Diamond Tiara comes off as a sociopath, yes. I don't think she is one in the show, but this story needed the dynamic to establish that there can be more to both the bullies than are shown in the actual show. It also allowed me to make those cute scenes with Scoots and SS. Eventually, that might actually lead to SS and Scoots becoming good friends and SS being able to break out of the abusive existence with DT. Maybe DT would realize how much of a shit she's been to even her alleged best friend. Or not. Again, it's not in the scope of this story.

Hmm, quite well handled here, all the curiosity of an adolescent in a camp shower hut. Nice thing is no overtly questionable moments of :unsuresweetie::pinkiesick:. Actually looking forward to Dash giving Scoots the Mare-filly talk that Scoot's father probably hasn't found wherewithal to.

4042279 I had some suspicions about background and motive that they may have been more experience related than research based. I empathize with you from my own childhood experiences.

I must say that now having finished this piece I'm not going to down vote it, I'm not going to up vote it either. I can see why this story has the ratings it does. The overly sexual elements of the latter chapters actually are a bit of a turn off from a very good psychological observation piece. You still have my eye and attention as a credit to your writing skill and I will be browsing your portfolio in the near future to see what else I may come across. You have a talent for a very perceptive and emotionally evocative style of storytelling and I genuinely encourage you to continue to explore this talent.

I'll keep it short and simple. I liked it ^^


Please make more it's an awesome fic.

Commence read.

Poor Scootaloo.

Commence read.

Diamond Tiara getting really aggressive.

Thankfully Rainbow Dash arrived.

Commence read.

Bridges being built.

Though plenty of speculation on Rainbow.

Commence read.

Rainbow's rant on cider reminded me of Tweak's Coffee.

Commence read.

A slightly ominous way to end a scene.

The whole cool-big-sister role that Dash has in this story is really great to see. I've read a lot of stories that have tried this very thing, but you really seemed to have nailed it here. It'd be awesome to see this continue.:raritystarry:

That was a crazy awesome dynamic, how Rainbow Dash came in and just single-hoofedly ran the plot of the story in this chapter. Because she's a grown-up. I could perfectly feel and understand Scoot's and Tiara's and Silver Spoon's reverence/fear of Rainbow Dash. It's like, as a grown-up descending into the affairs of kids, she was a god. It was crazy.
(of course, it's not just because she's a grown-up; it's also because she's Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash kicks ass)

Commence read.

All those troubles in the comments.

If you decide to continue, then alright.

4066878 Well I'm pretty sure you pushed the thumb up. I don't give a damn about the haters, but having people whose opinion I actually care about like my stuff really makes me want to continue. This fic wouldn't exist if I didn't get it inside my head to write it as a gift to a friend... just like my previous foalcon. RD/Scoots is his favourite pairing (as it is pretty much mine), at least it was when I started, so there we go. :scootangel::rainbowkiss:

I also think that the relationship between RD and Scoots is far more interesting than that of the other sister pairs in the show, mostly because they aren't real sisters, so I can get away with some seriously weird stuff. I should maybe have mentioned that in the fic RD is only around 19-21 years old, so she's still pretty immature and barely out of her teens. More about that later in the story! :rainbowhuh:


Alright then.

More things to look forward to and story to build on.

If foalcon is the definition of pedophilia, I should have avoided this literature. Urp! :pinkiesick:

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