• Published 14th Sep 2015
  • 3,852 Views, 53 Comments

Would it matter? - Alex Prior



A changeling approaches Twilight Sparkle with a philosophical conundrum.

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Would it really?

“Pardon me, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Hm?” Ponyville’s resident librarian raised her eyes from the book she was reading. Her gaze fell upon the leader of the local Exiles. “Oh, it’s you, Masquerade. I’m afraid I’m a little busy at the moment. Is there anything I can help you with?”

The wingless changeling nodded, adjusting his glasses. “Yes, well, now that you mention it, there is a, shall we say, philosophical matter I wanted to talk to you about. May I take a seat?”

Twilight’s eyes widened in delight. She nodded rapidly. “Of course, make yourself comfortable. It has been such a long time since I’ve had a proper philosophical debate. What do you want to discuss about?”

The bug took a deep breath. “In light of the recent invasion of the main Hive -- Would it matter if, say, I was a changeling?”

His declaration was met with flat silence. Twilight felt her good mood flow away like an errant river of melting snow during Winter Wrap-Up. She cleared her throat. “Masquerade... You, er, you kind of are a changeling.”

He nodded. “Yes, indeed, but hear me out. What if I was a Changeling?”

Twilight frowned in consternation. “Masquerade, I hate to tell you this, but you ARE a Changeling.”

He smiled. “Yes, but what if I was?”

She puffed air out of her nostrils in frustration.“You ARE!”

The bug sighed. “Twilight Sparkle, let me ask you again, properly this time. This is a hypothetical situation, remember. Would you treat me differently if it turned out I was... a Changeling?

The unicorn felt her eye twitch. “You. Are. A. Changeling.

The aforementioned undisguised changeling smiled serenely. “This is a philosophical discussion, Twilight Sparkle. I ask again, purely hypothetically, would you, and consequently the other ponies in Ponyville, treat me any different from normal, if I was an undisguised changeling?”

‘Breathe, Twilight, breathe. Just like Cadance taught you. You can do this.’ She forced a smile. “Masquerade, you already walk around undisguised, as the changeling you are, right at this very moment.”

“Yes, but this has nothing to do with our discussion.”

‘What?’

Unknowing of Twilight's conundrums, the changeling plowed onward. “I am asking you a hypothetical question, regarding whether or not, in light of the Canterlot invasion, ponies would start treating Changelings differently? Especially if they knew they were changelings?”

‘He’s joking... Right?’ Twilight growled slightly. “Masquerade, ponies don’t. Care. You know that. I know that. Everypony knows that. Yes, there are Changelings all around, yes, they walk around undisguised, and nopony. Cares!” She took a deep breath. “There, question answered.”

The changeling shook his head. “Not really.” ‘WHAT?!?’ “Would it matter if I was a Changeling?”

Twilight felt a headache coming on. “No, Masquerade, It wouldn’t matter.” ‘There!’

“Are you saying this because you are enamoured with me, and are as such giving me a biased answer?”

“What? NO! I mean-”

“Because if you are, then I must find a more reliable source.”

The eye-twitch was now becoming noticeable. Twilight felt a hair spring out of place. “Masquerade, no. I am NOT in love with you! I don’t even have the time for any kind of love!”

The changeling peered at her through his spectacles. “Mmm, no wonder you are wound so tight. Twilight, you really should consider finding yourself a paramour.”

‘Oh no.’

“Perhaps your new sister-in-law has some advice for you?”

Twilight found herself sputtering at the changeling’s audacity. Her love life was NOT his business! “My love-life is none of your business!”

Masquerade tsked. “Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. Your love life, sparse as it is, has nothing to do with our discussion.”

Twilight gaped. ‘He didn’t just...’

The changeling stood. “Shame it had to end like this. Since you are obviously not up to philosophical discussions of hypothetical nature, I will go speak with somepony more... impartial. I believe Rainbow Dash will make a better subject.” He nodded to Spike. “I will see you two around.”

In a flash, he shifted into the guise of a green and brown pegasus, and took off, leaving a rapidly purpling unicorn in his wake.

-----

Minutes later, Masquerade, still in his pegasus guise, knocked upon Fluttershy’s door. The pink and yellow mare peeked out. “Hello?”

The disguised changeling adjusted his spectacles. “Greetings, Fluttershy,” he said. “May I borrow your spare Wonderbolt costume?”

The pegasus’ eyes widened in both recognition and understanding. “Oh, Masquerade! Come in, I’ll look it up in a minute. You want Rainbow?”

Masquerade nodded. “Indeed. I seem to have hit upon a philosophical conundrum, and I’m afraid Twilight is of no help.”

Fluttershy blinked. “Oh my. I thought Twilight loved these discussions?”

Masquerade shrugged his (temporary) wings. “I just don’t know what went wrong.”

The mare leveled the (current) stallion a knowing look. “Conversational paradoxes?”

Masquerade shook his head. “Not this time. All I did was ask her if she would look at me differently if I was a Changeling.”

Fluttershy bit her lip. “Masquerade, I hate to be the one to tell you this (if you don’t mind that is), but, well, you kind of are a changeling.”

The changeling groaned. “I know that, okay?” He sighed. “This is kind of the whole point of me asking! How will I know if ponies would treat me differently depending on whether I was a changeling or not!”

The butter yellow mare shrugged. “It wouldn’t really matter, considering that you already are a changeling. Why should you concern yourself with what ifs? It really isn’t healthy, you know.”

Masquerade sighed. “Just... Give me the costume. I’ll go find Rainbow Dash.”

-----
One change of costume and a short flight later
-----

“Gotcha!”

The prismatic pegasus wrapped her hooves around the stallion in the Wonderbolt uniform. After a quick look around to see if anypony had noticed (nopony had) she dragged her loot into Applejack’s barn. “Well, well, well,” she drawled. (Badly.) “Now, you will tell me all your secrets OH COME ON!”

That last past she yelled out as the stallion burst into green flames, revealing the by now familiar changeling underneath. In a flash she was at his face. “What’s the big deal, uh? Is it fun for you to watch my dreams crumble? Eh? EH?”

Masquerade sighed. “No, Rainbow Dash. I wish to speak with you. And you were, as always, missing.”

The prismatic mare grumbled. “I was on a stakeout.” She huffed. “Fine, whatever. What do you want?”

The changeling equipped his usual glasses. “Rainbow Dash, if I was hypothetically a changeling... would you look at me differently?”

The pegasus waved a hoof. “Nah. Element of Loyalty, remember?”

Masquerade smiled in relief. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash. That’s all I wanted to hear.”

The End.

Author's Note:

A little ficlet I couldn't just not write, especially considering how hilarious the concept was to me.
Inspiration is the same fic this one parodies. You really should read it, it's good.

The changeling featured here is the one on the coverart. I drew it myself, and provided a backstory.
If anyone wants to know more about Masquerade, let me know.

Also let me know what you thought of the fic. Cheers! :pinkiehappy:

Comments ( 52 )

Uhh....uhh.....*shatter*
Yous dun broken mine bran.

Is the joke that Rainbow is too simple-minded to confuse?

6425427
Actually, it’s that you can always count on Rainbow Dash to give you a straight answer.

I... well, I, erm...

...

Well, I can't eat popcorn to this!

6426548
It's too... I don't know, cerebral? I can't eat popcorn to cerebral stories; I'm an American.

It should be at least PG-13, and then I'll shovel popcorn away. Do you realize how much money you stand to make if only you would sell out?

6426615
Oh dang. My characters are too good. They have taken the confusion they spread, throught the fourth wall itself.
Nowhere is safe.

Ah, simple answers to simple questions. :rainbowlaugh:

On another note, I think the formatting could use a bit of tweaking, though.

“Yes, but this has nothing to do with our discussion.” ‘What?’ “I am asking you, a hypothetical question, regarding whether or not, in light of the Canterlot invasion, ponies would start treating Changelings differently, if they knew they were changelings?”

I'm assuming the 'What?' is Twilight's thought. If that's the case, it was a little distracting to see it squeezed in the middle of Masquerade's dialogue like that. Splitting his dialogue and her thoughts into separate paragraphs might make it easier to read. Like so:

“Yes, but this has nothing to do with our discussion.”
What?
“I am asking you, a hypothetical question, regarding whether or not, in light of the Canterlot invasion, ponies would start treating Changelings differently, if they knew they were changelings?”

6426771
Edited. Also glad you like it.

Well, it's actually a good question.

I think Fluttershy's got the right idea. He shouldn't be thinking of questions like that, it really isn't healthy.

Writing Guide - Punctuation - Dialogue:

The most important rule of dialogue is this:

New speaker, new paragraph.

This goes with what Raugos said. Seeing phrases with different speakers together in the same paragraph can be very confusing.

Since you didn't say anything in the description, I'll assume you haven't got a proofreader for this story. If you need, I can give you a link to a document full of proofreaders, and you could ask for help as remove errors from stories and increase the chance people see/like them.

6427467
This is what I get for arrogance.

I get humbled.
(also, I believe I fixed it. Didn't I?)

6427698 You did, I was just complementing what was said earlier.

6427791
I see.
Thank you anyway.

At first I was a tad confused, simply because I saw that it was meant to be a parody of the story of a similar name regarding Fluttershy. Then as I continued reading I started to realize that this was much more like a monty python skit and promptly began to laugh

Ha, my brain was not sprained! I read these kinds of ridiculous things all the time!


… I'm not sure if that's a good thing.


Either way, I have the giggles now. Bravo, good sir! fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/365/c/a/clapping_pony_icon___changeling_by_taritoons-d5ps0kg.gif

6428878 That's what I thought, until my mind accepted the insanity and realized what exactly was going on in Magical Pony Candyland.

6430192
To what you consider happening in this Equestria. I am very interested in the readers' interpretations.

6430217 Shenanigans. Plain and simple. Well, not entirely plain, and certainly not simple, but you the picture. If it involves shenanigans, it's happening.

6430228
Yes, well, I LOVE shenanigans.

6433384 Pony shenanigans are the BEST shenanigans.

6433775
Or changeling shenanigans. :)

6433838 Well, bug-ponies are ponies, too, you racist.

6434020
It depends on the headcanons.

6434183 And it just so happens to be mine.

6434435
What just happens to be yours?

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Fantastic. :D But how can Twilight purple when she is?

6505503
Twilight is more of a lavender.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

6434183 This reminds of of Game Grumps.


JonTron: I thought I heard you say "Guillermo Del totally okay with that!"
Egoraptor: Well, you're a fucking racist.

wlam #36 · Oct 9th, 2015 · · 1 ·

This is my favourite one of these yet. There's not enough stories where a character just straight-up trolls Twilight like this. She's such an obvious target, too.

Bloody hell Twilight.

Rainbow Dash just beat you!

..it just never ends, does it.

6530756
What'd you mean?

6530858 The "would it matter if" fics. :derpytongue2:

6531437
Fun fact: This is the first parody of the original.

6532749 Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, I didn't expect that.

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:/5

Reminds me a little bit of "a blessing in disguise".

Wow, Twilight, even I, with my very low IQ understood his question
-
Interesting read, short and sweet

I evidently haven't had enough tea yet to process this fic.

Is Masquerade trying to ask if there would be a difference in ponies' reactions to him between "Masquerade is a changeling" and "Masquerade is not a changeling" scenarios, and just phrasing it in a way that's technically correct but designed to trip up people like Twilight (and apparently Fluttershy), or is the question not supposed to make sense and Rainbow's success a win via Wheatley logic?

I also saw what you did with Fluttershy's Wonderbolt uniform. Is it delicious irony, or just a Nightmare Night costume? :trollestia:

6613135
Factually speaking, Masquerade is the type of 'ling who doesn't know when to stop trolling, and accidentally comes out with a serious question in the end.

Also, this Rainbow Dash is so desperate to become a Wonderbolt, that she's willing to kidnap members and interrogate them for secrets. Since she's so bad at being bad, Flutters always keeps a spare uniform for whenever somepony wants to find Dashie. As to where she got it? I'll leave that to the readers.

6613212

Factually speaking, Masquerade is the type of 'ling who doesn't know when to stop trolling

Ah. I didn't see that one coming, but it makes a lot of sense. I suppose that means he successfully trolled me, too.:twilightsheepish:

As to where she got it? I'll leave that to the readers.

It's this part that I was curious about; Dash's motives were clear enough in the story itself. :rainbowdetermined2:

Original conjecture: Fluttershy is a Wonderbolt on her own merits, while Dash hasn't earned that yet, because it's that kind of fic. The word "spare" seemed to hint at this.

Alternate conjecture: Fluttershy is better than Dash is at kidnapping wonderbolts, and had Soarin over for tea. Insert ship-tease here. :raritywink:

This fic gave me a headache and made me chuckle. Well played.

Lel. :rainbowlaugh:

Cya
Raziel-chan

But you are a... wait... :unsuresweetie:
...
oh, I get it. He's asking as if he was a pone. :twilightsmile:

...right? :rainbowderp:

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