" HINATA "
" I will... Always... Love you... Naruto "
Blue eyes opened showing them to the new world he had been sent upon, his mask happiness that he always wore to deceive others was cracking, his small whimpers quickly became painful sobs
A ten tailed wolf within his mind watched with a heavy heart as his new container screamed out to the world his pain, he whispered to the broken pup, trying to sooth the once happy blonde, he said one thing to the past
"Damn you"
After being betrayed by his so called friends, he shattered and now he's broken. Juubi sent his new host to a place, changing him back to a child to have a second chance in having the life he deserved.
Celestia, Luna, the mane six were walking back to Ponyville after defeating Nightmare Moon and gaining the Elements of Harmony when they heard faint sobbing coming from a nearby cave, as they entered said cave they were shocked into seeing a small colt wrapped in a fur-like gray blanket, sobbing into his hooves.
Psssssst. I think you misspelled "prologue."
ooh this sound and looks interesting I wanna see more please.
And it's not Ten-Tails (Juubi)... it's Nine-Tails (Kyubi), the Juubi was never reassembled (the Nine-Tails remained in Naruto whilst the other Bijuus roamed the world free)... also, this seems highly out of character for Naruto's friends (especially Sakura) to just kill him for the sake of making Sasuke a jinchuuriki...
Ten-tailed wolf? Huh? It's a nine-tailed fox. A kyuubi.
may want to add au to the tags
I'm sorry, wait no I'm not, but WHY?!
There is literally no need for this to happen and it seems like just some forced tragedy plot to get Naruto sympathy points. I see enough of this shit on FF.net, why do people still write this stupid idea of plot?
God, I'm downvoting just on the premise alone.
Reads Summary. Stand by for negative reaction to premise.
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRGL5U94wG8zriqv14yWheN7J2LMo1k4zpl-iZFeYhkT1BGAYDS
5878309 oops thanks
5879187 well excuse me if I want to make this, if you don't like it then don't read it
5879007 this is one of those naruto stories where the Juubi was formed and was sealed away into his body
5879100 Kay
5879625
Believe me, I didn't.
5878612 like I commented to the other one, this is one of those naruto stories where the Juubi had been formed and also one of those stories where we out-right bash the rest of naruto characters by making them all jerks who were pretending to be his friend then in the end they betray him, and like I said in the A/N this is my first time writing an mlp fanfic and crossover
5879584 is this a good thing or....
5878566 be patient and I will bring you a new chapter
5879636 okay, glad we're at an agreement that if you don't like my story don't read it
5879655 It's negative reaction. NAruto's friends wouldn't act this way and I've seen SO MANY MMMMAAAAAAANNNNNNNYYYYY BAADDDDD JUST...just....just abysmal naruto fan fics that have a similar premise like this except for the crossover part. The whole premise is opening old wounds for me.
5879674 well I'm sorry if I did, but if this lifts up some feelings then here : Some were under Genjutsu that made them hate naruto, after being released they immediately tried to find their missing friend :
5879634 id also like to be clear, you did say he sealed in the 10 tails in him right? so is that why kurama is now a wolf insted of a fox?
5880292 yeah something like that, since kyuubi is now a ten tailed wolf he's flaunting himself by calling himself Juubi, as for naruto's fox like tail it's the left over nine tailed chakra from Juubi or as you say Kurama
5880292 so you know that the Juubi is the first original tailed beast right? And in my story the Juubi was fully formed but was in control of Madara, after being sealed he regained control, and since part of the Kyuubu was used in its ritual to become a full entity and the rest if Kyuubi was in Naruto. Now when Naruto sealed the Juubi inside himself, it merged with the rest of Kyuubi and now kyuubi is in Juubi's place of mind. I hope that made sense, anyway that's how it going in my story
5884767 i see, an interesting way to put the story together, id like to know if naruto still has control of chakra
cant wait for the next chapter. Stay the course no matter the number of thumbs down, they will see that they were wrong to do so in the future
5885405 he does but he will have a bit of a hard time since he is now a pony colt and the fact he gained more chakra
5886770 thank you
When's the next chapter
this is a very interesting crossover with Naruto, I've seen so many where he's slightly sad, but soon happy, so in a way this is a nice pace of a Naruto crossover, hope to see more of this story in the near future.
can't wait for the next chapter this is really good
I like this can't wait for more.
damn i admit maybe only waited a week but
i can't wait to see where this ends up
When will we get a new chapter
Love it! When will the next chapter come out?
how old is he anyway?
Kind of quick but yeah that's the kind of Naruto that needs to be.
Poorly done and highly contrived betrayal plot line that changes the characters into terrible OCs and show a lack of understanding of writing characters.
This was not something that was necessary to do as it shows a lack of thought and planning of going with that plot line instead of putting effort and thought into how to get Naruto into the other world.
really interesting so far and i can't wait for more
and seriously to all saying they're acting out of character or that would
never happen this way. well duuuuuh it's a fanfiction and it's up
to the author how he or she wants to happen in the story so you can
either accept it and maybe even read and like it or leave it be because
this comments are just unnecessary
this is a good story when is the next chapter?
So, Kurama's the new Juubi?
6311873 Your right, but I guess even if he only change their personalitys it is somehow already an alternate universe, probably because they act different.
I haven´t read it yet, I just noticed your comment, and remembered something from a similar discussion I had read once.
Not sure what to say, this is just the prologue, but I think you somehow had one single moment in your chapter, but somehow managed not to say to much.
The part where you described everyone, probably took to much space, well not sure if that was needed, but it looked like it took a huge part from this chapter.
Im somehow happy that you skipped his time in his own world a bit, but it is still a bit rushed, or just weird, that half of the chapter, was just about him crying, and seeing the main six, and the other half was about the main six seeing him crying.
Well I see there is a little bit more, and it wasn´t that bad, but it was to short, because the to different POV´s, looked like it would be the same thing. Is the fox Demon still in him?
I had looked again, and your description is somehow already the first chapter, well I´m a bit tired, but it somehow seems to be to short, and somehow not enough different stuff.
However I understand, that this is your first story, and that is is just a prologue. I don´t vote right now, because I want to give you a chance, to actually show us something nice.
I like the idea of your story.
I know this will continue, but when do you think you can get it out? BTW love it so far.
its graet nice job
can someone find some way to continue this story please
7031831
I will continue it but it'll have to wait a few more days, just got out of the hospital and Im borrowing my friends iPad but I'll soon have my very own laptop so just wait
OH wow sorry to hear what happened exactly?
7069483
I don't exactly remember, but my dad told me there was an explosion. He doesn't like to talk about it so I dont exactly know, but I can't walk properly and I'll probably never be able to run again
7069509 "Well, it's glad to know that you're doing alright and planning to make more chapters for us in the near future. So until then, stay 20% Awesome, my friend!"
Feel better this story look good hope to read more soon.
glad you are okay, so long as you feel up to it i wont mind any updates
Glad to see you are ok