Prolouge : The Broken Child
Prolouge : The Broken Mask
A flash of light appeared within the forest as a blonde figure landed upon the forest floor with a thud. Blue eyes opened showing them to the new world he had been sent upon, his heart was beating painfully as memories came to his mind as how he was sent here
~FlashBack~
It was over... Finally over... The war had ended... They did it... They finally defeated Madara, he sealed the Juubi within himself to make sure no one would use its powers for negative things... They finally ended the long time war
A bright smile came to his face thinking towards the bright future he knew he would have with his soon to be wife, Hinata Hyuūga, he knew that his future with her would be bright. Or so he thought
~TimeSkip~
"Why?" He questioned as he gazed on the ones he saved " Because your too powerful you demon! As soon as your dead we'll seal the Juubi within Sasuke- kun!! " Sakura yelled at him as everyone nodded in agreement, they were about to advance when
" I won't let you hurt Naruto! " a female voice called out as a woman with blue hair and pale lavender eyes appeared before the still injured Naruto, this woman was his soon to be wife, Hinata Hyuūga who was heavily injured and barely had chakra to fight but she stood to protect her beloved " Move away from the demon witch!!" The Tsuchikage growled "No! You'll have to go through me to get to him!!" Hinata spat as she stood protectively over him "Not a problem then" Ino grinned as she clutched two kunais at each hand
Slash
Slash
Slash
Slash
" HINATA " Naruto yelled horrified as he watched as Hinata's body was falling towards the ground as she did she smiled towards him and whispered loud enough for him to hear" I will... Always... Love you... Naruto " Naruto snapped
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" Naruto yelled as a purplish cloak formed around him, the entire land shook as he screamed out
~Mindscape~
"Grrr... Damn them!!" Juubi cursed the humans that killed his pup's mate "They'll pay for this!!" The ten tailed wolf quickly used his chakra
~Outside~
Violet chakra lashed out of Naruto's body as he mourned for his dead beloved, it suddenly wrapped itself around its users body and glowed brightly and exploded, as the explosion finished Naruto's body wasn't there, but instead there was a giant seal that was burned into the ground where he was injured
~Flashback End~
He broke down right there, he sobbed into the ground not noticing that his body changed from human to a small equine
"Pup?" The Juubi called from his mind, he ignored the demon and continued to cry, Juubi sighed and used his chakra to form a grey fur blanket to cover the sobbing child "I hope you'll be okay soon Pup"
~Timeskip~
It was a few days since he had been here, he didn't care if he was now a child, he didn't care if he was now a pony, he found a cave where he could stay, he found food easily by berries and some fruit he found, he was immune to food poisoning or anything now that he contained Juubi.
He was curled up in the cave with the fur blanket Juubi gave him, he was silently sobbing into his hooves, he couldn't get the image of Hinata on the ground dead, her last words echoed in his kind " I will always love you Naruto"
He heard a gasp and looked up to see eight mares there
One who was the tallest had a pure white coat, she had both wings and horn and her mane was flowing like the wind was forever making it flow with a matching tail, her was was a light soft magenta, on top of her head was a golden tiara with an amythest gem embedded and on her chest was a necklace with the same design as her tiara, on each of her hooves were golden shoes for hooves, on her flank was a sun
The second tallest also had wings and horn, she had a a slightly pale blue coat and her mane and tail was light blue, her eyes were turquoise, she wore the same garments as the white one but hers was dark blue and the crescent moon, on her flank was a crescent moon
The next was a unicorn, who had a light purple coat with a dark violet mane with matching tail with two colors , pink and violet, going down, she had purple eyes, on her flank was a six pointed bright magenta star with five white six pointed stars around it
Next to her was a pegasus who had a yellow coat with a long pink mane and tail, her slightly greener turquoise eyed were looking at him with an emotion he couldn't recognize, on her flank were three pink butterflies
Next to her was a regular pony with an orange coat and pale yellow mane and tail and a brown hat on her head, she had green eyes, on her flank were three apples
Next to her was a pegasus with a sky blue coat she had a rainbow mane and tail, she had a deep magenta eyes and on her flank was a cloud with a lightning bolt made of the three primary colors
And the next one was a light pink coated regular pony with a poofy dark pink mane and tail, she had sky blue eyes and on her flank were three balloons
And the last one was a white unicorn that had a curly dark violet/blue mane and tail, she had blue eyes and on her flank were three diamonds
They were all at the entrance of his cave looking shocked, he said one thing to them
"Who are you?"
~Meanwhile
The eight mares, Celestia, Luna and the mane six were walking back to Ponyville after freeing Luna from her own Darkness, Celestia and Luna were catching up, the newly formed elements of harmony were chatting among themselves "Wait shh" Fluttershy suddenly called out to them "What is it Fluttershy?" Twilight asked the new bearer of Kindness "Shh~, don't you hear that?" She said softly, they stayed silent as they finally heard faint crying "There, the sound is coming from over there" Rainbow whispered to the them, she was pointing to a cave not far from where they were
The group changed course towards the cave that was emitting the sound of sad sobs, as they entered the cave they gasped as they saw a small colt wrapped up in a gray fur-like blanket. He had a pale yellow coat which was dirty from laying on the cave floor, he had unruly blonde mane with red highlights his tail was also blond with violet highlights but it looked more like of a foxes tail, his teary blue eyes that looked over to them seemed to be so broken, his voice was the one that snapped them out of their stupor
"Who are you?"
~End~
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Psssssst. I think you misspelled "prologue."
ooh this sound and looks interesting I wanna see more please.
And it's not Ten-Tails (Juubi)... it's Nine-Tails (Kyubi), the Juubi was never reassembled (the Nine-Tails remained in Naruto whilst the other Bijuus roamed the world free)... also, this seems highly out of character for Naruto's friends (especially Sakura) to just kill him for the sake of making Sasuke a jinchuuriki...
Ten-tailed wolf? Huh? It's a nine-tailed fox. A kyuubi.
may want to add au to the tags
I'm sorry, wait no I'm not, but WHY?!
There is literally no need for this to happen and it seems like just some forced tragedy plot to get Naruto sympathy points. I see enough of this shit on FF.net, why do people still write this stupid idea of plot?
God, I'm downvoting just on the premise alone.
Reads Summary. Stand by for negative reaction to premise.
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRGL5U94wG8zriqv14yWheN7J2LMo1k4zpl-iZFeYhkT1BGAYDS
5878309 oops thanks
5879187 well excuse me if I want to make this, if you don't like it then don't read it
5879007 this is one of those naruto stories where the Juubi was formed and was sealed away into his body
5879100 Kay
5879625
Believe me, I didn't.
5878612 like I commented to the other one, this is one of those naruto stories where the Juubi had been formed and also one of those stories where we out-right bash the rest of naruto characters by making them all jerks who were pretending to be his friend then in the end they betray him, and like I said in the A/N this is my first time writing an mlp fanfic and crossover
5879584 is this a good thing or....
5878566 be patient and I will bring you a new chapter
5879636 okay, glad we're at an agreement that if you don't like my story don't read it
5879655 It's negative reaction. NAruto's friends wouldn't act this way and I've seen SO MANY MMMMAAAAAAANNNNNNNYYYYY BAADDDDD JUST...just....just abysmal naruto fan fics that have a similar premise like this except for the crossover part. The whole premise is opening old wounds for me.
5879674 well I'm sorry if I did, but if this lifts up some feelings then here : Some were under Genjutsu that made them hate naruto, after being released they immediately tried to find their missing friend :
5879634 id also like to be clear, you did say he sealed in the 10 tails in him right? so is that why kurama is now a wolf insted of a fox?
5880292 yeah something like that, since kyuubi is now a ten tailed wolf he's flaunting himself by calling himself Juubi, as for naruto's fox like tail it's the left over nine tailed chakra from Juubi or as you say Kurama
5880292 so you know that the Juubi is the first original tailed beast right? And in my story the Juubi was fully formed but was in control of Madara, after being sealed he regained control, and since part of the Kyuubu was used in its ritual to become a full entity and the rest if Kyuubi was in Naruto. Now when Naruto sealed the Juubi inside himself, it merged with the rest of Kyuubi and now kyuubi is in Juubi's place of mind. I hope that made sense, anyway that's how it going in my story
5884767 i see, an interesting way to put the story together, id like to know if naruto still has control of chakra
cant wait for the next chapter. Stay the course no matter the number of thumbs down, they will see that they were wrong to do so in the future
5885405 he does but he will have a bit of a hard time since he is now a pony colt and the fact he gained more chakra
5886770 thank you
When's the next chapter
this is a very interesting crossover with Naruto, I've seen so many where he's slightly sad, but soon happy, so in a way this is a nice pace of a Naruto crossover, hope to see more of this story in the near future.
can't wait for the next chapter this is really good
I like this can't wait for more.
damn i admit maybe only waited a week but
i can't wait to see where this ends up
When will we get a new chapter
Love it! When will the next chapter come out?
how old is he anyway?
Kind of quick but yeah that's the kind of Naruto that needs to be.
Poorly done and highly contrived betrayal plot line that changes the characters into terrible OCs and show a lack of understanding of writing characters.
This was not something that was necessary to do as it shows a lack of thought and planning of going with that plot line instead of putting effort and thought into how to get Naruto into the other world.
really interesting so far and i can't wait for more
and seriously to all saying they're acting out of character or that would
never happen this way. well duuuuuh it's a fanfiction and it's up
to the author how he or she wants to happen in the story so you can
either accept it and maybe even read and like it or leave it be because
this comments are just unnecessary
this is a good story when is the next chapter?
So, Kurama's the new Juubi?
6311873 Your right, but I guess even if he only change their personalitys it is somehow already an alternate universe, probably because they act different.
I haven´t read it yet, I just noticed your comment, and remembered something from a similar discussion I had read once.
Not sure what to say, this is just the prologue, but I think you somehow had one single moment in your chapter, but somehow managed not to say to much.
The part where you described everyone, probably took to much space, well not sure if that was needed, but it looked like it took a huge part from this chapter.
Im somehow happy that you skipped his time in his own world a bit, but it is still a bit rushed, or just weird, that half of the chapter, was just about him crying, and seeing the main six, and the other half was about the main six seeing him crying.
Well I see there is a little bit more, and it wasn´t that bad, but it was to short, because the to different POV´s, looked like it would be the same thing. Is the fox Demon still in him?
I had looked again, and your description is somehow already the first chapter, well I´m a bit tired, but it somehow seems to be to short, and somehow not enough different stuff.
However I understand, that this is your first story, and that is is just a prologue. I don´t vote right now, because I want to give you a chance, to actually show us something nice.
I like the idea of your story.
I know this will continue, but when do you think you can get it out? BTW love it so far.
its graet nice job
can someone find some way to continue this story please
I got to say loving the story so far and can’t wait for more
So sasuke just agreeing with this?
Was the emotion concern?
I don’t think that’s the word. Also, why is the prologue titles different?