First Fanfic
Naruto gets sent to equestrian while fighting two new members from the Akatsuki. When he wakes he finds himself in a strange and in a new world with a new body as well and he later discovers that he didn't come here alone. Will he be able to go back home or will he have to adapt to this new world and its inhabitants (strong Naruto but not god, at least not at first).
Based at the beginning of MlP: FIM and at the Climax of the Fourth great Shinobi War
Oc Akatsuki pair
Will slowly go away from the show except for when I'm doing filler. Pairings so far
Naruto x Pinkie Pie
Naruto x Pinkamena
(Good friends with the rest of mane six)
There will be other pairings with other characters and I do plan on bringing in the rest of the Akatsuki later on
I like the concept, but you have a few errors to take care of.
An example:
here
What fuck is that?
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Hiraishin is Minato Namikaze's trade mark technique. It's a space time jutsu which is basically a fancy way of saying teleportation.
One thing that bothers me with the story is this.
Are you trying to say kid or actual kits?
6396290 You mean the Flying Thunder God technique?
Makes sense.
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Saying Hiraishin is easier than sayin flying thunder god
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Baby foxes are called kits it just made sense to me
6396532 Oh. Something you know learn everyday then. For me in this case.
Its a good start but something i havent seen already. Also sorry for this but Pinkie again? dont get me wrong i dont dislike her but personally most stories have Pinkie and Aj as the most used(with rainbow dash behind them) i know Pinkie and him are alike but that dosent mean it can work, yes they can be great friends if not the best but i personally cant see a romantic setting out of this.
For the other 3 i can also se why you may not use them as Twilight may be also another one done, Rarity because you want to have her with spike and her personality and Fluttershy because to most it reminds them of Hinata(still flutershy is way better on the shyness
).
WHy not one of the background ponies?
For the time frame, well sadly is nothing new again as he always arrives almost at the beggining of the MLP series, i know it gives him time to interact with the others but this story will suffer the Naruto is just there sindrome because iyou are using already created and just have minimum alterations but overal the same.
Also are the akatsuki completely OC or are existing characters
This is by no means a bad story or bashing on my part stories like this have great pottential but sadly if you look alot of these they dont offer nothing original o new other that how the meet the blond
6396530 Yeah but saying Shadow Clone Justu is easier than saying Kage Bushin Justu.
ehhh why not.
Pinkie X Naruto is something i could like, because i don´t have seen to many Pinkie X someone else, than her own clone Cheese Sandwich.
He did probably much more then he would have needed to do against the Manticore, but with Naruto it seems somehow not important.
Actually, I could see Naruto with Rainbow Dash as well. I mean, their personality's are very similar as well, so it is possible.
the story is good so far i like how you have it to were naruto would say kage bushin no jutsu or hiraishin i usually dont find enough stories with people who puts them like that to many are used to reading shadow clone jutsu or other things like that hope to see more soon
Honestly, I'm against the idea of making it a marem. I vote for no.
6426631 I agree with fictional Fanatic, I usually don´t like this, and I already read two storys that made a harem/Marem, i want this to be only Naruto X Pinkie Pie, maybe just make Dash X Twilight, and some other pairings like that, but please not a Marem.
Long story short, i vote for only Pinkie X Naruto.
so you are really going to write her like that huh?
I´m glad that you make some references, but I hope they don´t really interrupt the story
What I try to say is, I honestly hope that Naruto isn´t dating a potential killer.
when did that happend? It is already over?
Okay, i think it is either going to be pretty good, or this makes it pretty bad.
I vote no. We only need one NarutoX character. Pinkie could work fine. A marem wouldn't be good. Just make it one shipping pair. It will make it easier on yourself if you do one pairing.
I got to say surprised me with the whole Pinkamena thing still good though
(warning spoilers)
but you did miss a lot of logic things on the eye moon plan and more that are still in effect as it can still happen plus there is still the war going on with the whole immortal zombies and mass amounts of zetsus plus lets not forget the other tailed beast and the fact that sasuke brings back the other hokages which there is minato who has the other half of the kyuubi and with just a bit of the kyuubi's power they were able to begin the process of reviving the juubi/shiju aka the ten tails who was able to recover its power on its own without the rest of the kyuubi but would just be that much more powerful if the kyuubi was apart of it.
so there's all that and the Betrayal's that happen leading to after obito round of semi ascension of power and all with the juubi and the fighting there then mandara taking control of him things to bring himself back to life fully or so he could regain all his power and the take the juubi to commence his plan after the one sided fight there for awhile with him taking everything the army can throw at him and keep on going even with the spots where he though he was going to lose (naruto play a big part in this) but mandara manages to pull off the eye moon plan to be also betrayed by zetsu to release kaguya
so to put things in the set up you have and not just the general wrap up that you TRIED to make but the REAL situation is that naruto is in another dimension in time and space (AS FAR AS WE KNOW) and that we mandara having an easier time pulling things off and traping everybody only to unwittingly be the cause of the release of kaguya who is basicly In terms of power like a primordial goddess who is absorbing all chakra, abilities knowledge and more of those trapped in the illusion which is everybody except sasuke even those brought back to life in the war to fight and is turning them into white zetsu 's over years to come since it took years like 30 or 40 or so just to turn some which is a lot of people of those traped in the first time infinite tsukuyomi was cast and then sasuke who will be capture and also trapped by kaguya since naruto is not there and unsure as to weather or not kaguya is going to come looking for him or not as well as cause destruction to the multiverse and trap more people thus making her more powerful and gain a bigger army in her years to come or just destroy worlds and remake them to her liking as she wipes out countless races
also I vote for the marem as we all know naruto has been through hell and I would also love to read how you would make such a story but if you would like to make multiple stories with naruto with different one and then also a marem one that's good too as the cross over of this too needs much increasing hell I'm not surprised its not blowing up more since the naruto thing is over and there just doing the post movies now thus making it easy on authors as to not having to rewrite whole stories once they reveal all of the twist and turns that they did that surprised some of the people and through of the premise of what a lot where writing
hope to see where you go with things and I'm an anime, gamer, manga, and cartoon fan for life.
I'll vote yes for the marem, but only because I want Naruto x Rainbow Dash, if you think it's to hard then you can just focus on one. Also, I have a few nitpicks with the story. First of all, you probably should have gone into more detail on things like how the Mane 6 were taking Naruto's back story, you know Pinkie's mane deflating and them crying their eyes out. Second, I know this rated for teens but Naruto is a little out character with hos swearing, just try to lower it to "bastards" and "damn." Other than those things I think this is a good chapter and can't wait to see where it goes.
I will message you the ocs thing. Just have to think of them.
I like what you did with the my oc. And you got it right. And don't worry. You didn't rush it.
Matatabi in equestria
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Maybe we have to wait and see
OH MY GOOOOOOOOD!!!
not sure how to feel about the cat, mostly because it probably doesn´t fit that perfect into a Naruto story, but I think after while, i can live with that too, maybe already in the next chapter.
Is not that Matatabi, you described?
Huh. Not a bad story so far! I like it. Say, do ya need an OC for this fic? I'd be happy to oblige!
I say no marem. A single pairing will be much easier to handle. And...*flips random table over* WHY DID I NOT MAKE A CORRECT ASSUMPTION THAT TWILIGHT'S ATTITUDE IS SO SIMILAR TO SAKURA'S?! Lol!
And eesh! Pinkamena sure is scary!
Ooh boy! Crazy stuff is gonna go down!
Is that...Matatabi?! The Two-Tails?! Awesome! Great work with this! Keep it up!
your fanfic is really good but you would think after how long it's been since a a new chapter it would be on hiatus not trying to be mean
I would like to have a new chapter please.
Wow those crusaders want their suicide cutie marks so bad
Shouldn't it be herd not marem?