• Member Since 2nd Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago


"Avoid hard drugs, they make you talk too loud, and that’s annoying.”


Something is bothering Celestia, enough to keep her up all night, every night. Enough to risk her screwing up, and revealing to all of Equestria what she is behind the facade of serene wisdom - a bizarre idiot. Thankfully Luna is on the case, determined to figure out what's going on with her sister, and help if she can, at least if they can stop bickering long enough to do that.

Possibly the dumbest Twilestia fic you'll ever read.

Sex tag is for sexually implicit dialog and situations.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 42 )

"The Sun Has Lost It Is Mind"? Or do you mean "Its" as a possessive?

5729688 I've always been awful with its vs. it's! I'll fix it asap, thanks!

Absurd, but well meaning trolls. I can enjoy this :)

Possibly the dumbest Twilestia fic you'll ever read.

I'll be the judge of that! Fair warning. I've read and seen some pretty dumb shit in my life.

LOL LOVE IT Hope to read more soon

I'm a bit surprised that Celestia doesn't have a fake dream set up to distract Luna when she shows up. Like, Celestia going full-on dominatrix on Nightmare Moon or something soul-scarring like that, something that Luna would very much want to not ever bring up again.
Still, Luna... you've been around Celestia this long, and you still thought it would be a good idea to bring up a "swore to never speak of this again" topic for such a small laugh? Celestia's good at making ponies miserable, you know.

“Well you aren’t too far off, the problem may admittedly be dream related. I’ve just been keeping myself awake instead, which I’m sure will clear it all up in no time!”


5729823 Same here, but I have to say that Celestia somehow not realizing she's gay after having sex with apparently dozens of mares scores pretty high on the "oh my god, Celestia's stupid" scale.

Mmmmyes. I'll be keeping my eye on this one, I will.

This is strangely good. I guess I'll keep on reading.

Say what? That is the oddest twist I've ever seen in a Twilestia fic.

Btw, I really like what you've done with the royal sisters.

More! give Dream! Twi a teacher's cane or paddle...


Maybe she thought she was metro? :trollestia:

Yes for all that is holy keep writing and finish this fic after at least 100k words. this is absolutely hilarious.

5744349 If I could get as far as 100k words I'd be ecstatic! I'll definitely try my best, but so far this story is the kind that writes itself more than I write it, we'll see what further shenaniganery I can come up with.

5744551 I look forward to it as a fan of ask princess molestia may she rest in peace and ask gaming princess luna. I like this style of humour

I enjoyed that first chapter. I'll be eagerly awaiting more, good chap.

Shouldn't Celestia know twilight can't say no to her?


Maybe it's because Twilight's straight too, like Luna?

Celestia considered poking Luna back, but decided it wasn't worth the effort and instead let her hooves fall from covering up her muzzle. "I can't ask Twilight out because if I do, she's gonna say no" she said in a defeated tone.
Um Tia twilight would do anything for you, she'd probably marry you if you asked regardless of her feelings(she'd still panic about it though).


Um Tia twilight would do anything for you, she'd probably marry you if you asked regardless of her feelings

If she really loves her then that would be a terrifying reason all on its own.

5776844 it's likely twi does love her I mean look at how desperate she is to please celestia, how being sent away was like a punishment and her greatest fear is celestia sending her away. Twi has it bad for celestia so bad she's pussy whipped and she's not even getting any.

Oh I never said that Twilight doesn't feel that way about her. It's just for Celestia, the thought of Twilight not returning her feelings but still going along with it could be torturous.

All and all, I agree with Luna.

5777288 poor Luna straight mare in a world filled with gay stallions and horny lesbian mares. I liked the gender inversion on the lecherous old stallion troupe with celestia

5777397 Heheh it's actually a world filled with horny lesbian mares and lots of sad lonely straight stallions, because for some reason the idea made me laugh. But yeah that's mostly why Luna is closeted, because a straight mare is a drop of water in the middle of a barren desert in this goofy world I've created. I'm looking forward to running with the concept, to the point that there may be a sequel starring Luna once this story comes to a conclusion.

5777781 so why or where did the lecherous old mare celestia come from?

5778289 Basically after reading a bunch of Twilestia fics, and shipfics in general, I realized, whether they were bad or great, most of them used the same general concepts, and I got the idea to make my own that just sort of poked fun at them all(lovingly) in one way or another. For the foundation of it all, I decided to make a Celestia that was the opposite of what you'd expect, pervy, overly dramatic, and not exactly bright. Then I used Luna to be a bit more normal and balance her out, without losing the fun. It also came from wanting to take a perverted goddess, and instead of having her aggressively seduce Twi like is expected, have it be a really childish and innocent crush.

To make a long story short, I thought it'd be funny :trollestia:

You are a bitch.

The most anticlimactic answer ever!

I don't see how fear of rejection has got you so shaken, especially when we both no she'll say yes."

Wrong one. Supposed to be 'know'.

5804364 Thanks for catching that :twilightsmile:

This'll be fun. Onward to trouble! :twilightsmile:

Hmm, I wonder if Luna will hit on Big Mac.

I like the teacher-student role reversal. Sort of hoping for Twilight Spankle.

I almost wish she'd have asked to freak Twilight out, then they'd pull the fake 'dream' excuse to get out of it lol...

As of noticing your crosslink at the end of chapter 1 of Principal of Equestria, this story is now in my tracking library. Might put it in one or two of my custom libraries, but the point is I intend to read this at some point.

5805413 so how come this story is on hiatus?

6136464 It's on hold while I work on my other story, Principal of Equestria, and a few other side projects, but I do intend to pick it back up when I can

This story has been hilarious and kind of sweet so far.
can't wait for it to be taken off hiatus

Seems promising, and was fun to read so far.

Will this ever be continued?

Probably, though not until I wrap up a few other stories

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