• Member Since 2nd Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen Oct 5th, 2023

MareDoVVell


“You scared me there, you saucy witch!”

T

Twilight has had to deal with quite a few peeved unicorns lately. Haughty magicians, angry teenagers, scorned savants, the list goes on. You'd think she would be used to it by now, but this time she's faced with something far more threatening, and far more unexpected...a drunk Rarity.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 34 )

Adorable and funny, a winning combination. My favorite part was the little scene with Trixie and Starlight.

Nope, it's a clip from the episode Green Isn't Your Color, so no worries:raritywink:

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I'm so glad you enjoyed it, I've never done a one shot before so I'm really happy to hear it's not terrible lol
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Awesome! Thank you for confirming that, I'm kind of a stickler about getting artist permission for cover art but I was pretty confident it was an episode screen

Drunk Rarity is easy Rarity.
:raritycry: I'm not easy!!!

Well, Rarity, can you really blame Twilight for not getting it when all you do is try to get in some fancy pants Unicorn stallion's pants all the time?

Seriously. One of the guys' names actually is Fancy Pants.

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And the way she treated the other royals she had a close encounter with....

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Also true. Rarity must have quite the hoof worship fetish. Celestia very nearly had to pry her off with a crowbar.

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Then there's the one she hit in the face with a rainbow.

This was cute. A bit shorter than I'd have liked it but good.

Twilight has had to deal with quite a few peeved unicorns lately.

For Christ's sake, watch your language.

RF2

A magnificent story with undeniable potentials. I love it but as the others have said, it's too short for my liking. Fret not though, it's good in this way too, no harm done. :twilightsmile:

Im neutral to shippings but this was really funny :ajsmug:

Also, I blame reading a bunch of Monochromatic's fics for my sudden need to write a RariTwi fic

She'll be here at any moment xP

other than the last four sentences I could believe that it happens like that. I don't want to say out of character, but it was a bit odd for me to see her reaction exactly like that. I guess everyone has some sort of idea how the characters are suppose to react.

So I guess it is still good, just not the right way to end it for me.

Trixie and Starlight, 'Best Friends' :trixieshiftright:

This could use a bit more effort on the editing side—perhaps you should hire a proofreader—but nothing major. It was still delightfully adorable!

7284334 Haha admittedly I did write it drunk :twilightblush:

:twilightblush: Silly Rarity it's not my harem.
:duck: If it's not, then who's?
:twilightsmile: Spikes :raritystarry:

Drunk!Rarity is almost as hilarious as Drunk!Twilight. Awesome story, and thanks for the laugh!:pinkiehappy:

7284763 This! Oh god, my sides! This was just the perfect remark!

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*COMES CRASHING THROUGH THE DOOR*

RARITWI?????


Ahem.

Sorry for getting to this so late, OP, I was away on vacations and then emotional stuff happened and yeah...

Also, OH MY GOD, YES. YES TO ALL OF THIS STORY.

I loved Rarity's rant, mostly because that was a legit discussion I had with a friend of mine. Twilight literally has a harem of unicorns, and I love the idea that Rarity got jealous over it. Especially the way you handled her rant was very well done and in-character. My absolute favorite part was when she's just like "oh, wow, that was harder than I thought, let me fall asleep here, goodnight darling".

Twilight too was very great, which is something I appreciate a lot considering I struggle a lot with her.

The writing was also very fluid and pleasant, and I was giggling throughout and gosh, I really needed something to cheer me up.

Thank you for sharing this with us! o:

7305075 :pinkiegasp: raritwi senpai noticed me!

Sunlight and Twilestia are my usual jams but I have been absolutely in love with The Enchanted Library and your Queen Rarity/Guard Twilight stories lately and felt compelled to try my hand at the pairing so I'm extremely happy you enjoyed it :heart:

7284121 Best Friends with the Best Benefits?

She has very good aim for a drunk pony.

7305075 I think that's the best way to start a comment I've ever seen. :rainbowlaugh:

This was cute. I liked how it ended too.

"Oh and to top it all off, then you were writing little love notes back and forth with her for months!"

"B-b-but...!" Twilight stammered, but it was not to be.

"I'M NOT FINISHED!"

That part was what really got to me. :rainbowlaugh:

Very cute and very funny! I loved the ending, too. Just a perfect Rariwi story!

Now there's just one factor left: Telling Spike.

This was cute!

A bit of feedback:

Twilight interjected weakly

This is both a saidism and a said bookism. Saidisms are words which are used in the place of "said", and said bookisms are "said" (or various synonyms for said) combined with an adjective. There are some people who say that these are always bad, but this is not really right; these are potentially useful words.

However, overusing said bookisms and saidisms ends up ones which carry particular import, such as Rarity huffing angrily, carry less import. They all start to blend together and stop being as significant. The other issue is that it ends up drawing attention away from the dialogue, as the reader spends focus and attention on your dialogue tags (that is to say, the text you are using to signify who is saying what). Dialogue tags do best when they reinforce the dialogue rather than supplant it in the reader's mind.

I have to say that it all also kind of wound down very quickly; while everyone involved being involved with someone else is kind of amusing, I didn't ultimately feel like I got a lot of emotional payoff from them kissing at the end; I mean, I wanted them to kiss, and they did, but it didn't feel as significant as it might have if we got a better understanding of why Twilight would reciprocate with Rarity; despite the whole story being told from Twilight's point of view, we don't really understand why Twilight wants to kiss Rarity at the end.

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

Good luck with your writing!

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Im pretty sure he would have a mix of emotions: jealousy, curiosity, and being turned on at the same time.

Quite amusing. I would have found a SunsetxRarity reference funnier but still very funny.

"Pfffft, unicorn harem, yeah right..."

:twilightsheepish: snicker

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