//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: The Sun Has Lost Its Mind // by MareDoVVell //------------------------------// Luna trudged down the wide corridor leading from the kitchens to her quarters, her hooves dragging lightly against the thick carpet with each step. Her neck angled downward as she walked, her head elevated up just enough to see where she was going, and a Moon themed mug floated in front of her, held at a tired angle in her magic. She was, for all intents and purposes, the picture of exhaustion. It had been a long, but productive night for her. She had conducted an important, if sparsely populated night court, checked in on the dreams of some of the more troubled ponies around Equestria, managing to dispense some cryptic advice she hoped would help, and she had even had time to visit a family of batponies that had recently taken up residence in one of the caves in the cliffs below Canterlot. It had been a very fulfilling evening of Princessing, but it had taken a toll on her physically, and all she could think of was the bed that drew nearer and nearer with each labored step. As she made her way further down the hall, she heard a scraping sound, similar to that which her own hooves were making, coming from about where she estimated her Sister’s room was. She glanced upward, blinking dreariness from her eyes, just in time to see a large, white mass passing her in the hallway. “Good morning Sister.” She managed to say through a stifled yawn. “Mmmfph.” Was the response she received in turn. Luna continued her trek for about two seconds, her mind mostly already in her bed, when realization punted it from the pillows, down the hall, and square into her forehead. Her head shot up from it’s slumped position, stopping only because a neck happened to be attached. She quickly checked her mental clock, a timepiece that was easily the third most accurate in all of Equestria, behind only her Sister, and a certain unicorn that occasionally liked to mathematically determine the exact time since creation for fun. Yep, it was indeed 6:37:28 AM, which meant that this “conversation” hadn’t happened correctly. Luna flashbacked to every morning she could remember off-hoof, minus a 1000 year gap, they had all started with the words “Good morning Sister” and “Mmmfph”, but today they had each come from the wrong muzzles. Luna turned to look behind her, eyes widening enough to make the bags under them look considerably less exaggerated as she caught sight of Celestia a little ways down the hall. The Sun was slumped at the neck, her eyes up only enough to see where she was going, and her hooves scraped gently across across the carpet. She looked, for all intents and purposes, the picture of exhaustion, which set off more than a few alarms in Luna’s head. She turned momentarily back to look towards her bedroom, a wistful look flashing into her eyes as she thought of familiar pillows and blankets, before sighing and turning back around, sleepy-time tea sloshing from her mug, and began trotting after the sad looking mound of white that had just turned a corner. It didn’t take very long for The Moon to catch up to her slow moving sibling, so much so that she almost crashed into a rather large rump as she rounded the corner. “Hey Sunbutt, why ya so grumpy? That’s usually my thing this time of day.” She said with all the subtlety of an exploding star. Over the millenia, Luna had found the best way to deal with her Sister when she was in a mood was to be endearingly, startlingly obnoxious. Celestia jumped, wheeling herself around in panic. “Luna! You scared the Tartarus outta me!” She said with a gasp. Luna glared suspiciously. That nickname almost never failed to rile Celestia up, always earning her at least an I will send you back to the Moon tinted frown. Something was definitely wrong. “Ok. Tia, something is up, and you are going to tell me what.” A mix of both determination and caring wormed their way into Luna’s matter-of-fact statement. Celestia cringed. “I-is it really that obvious?” The question was met with an unmoving, blue and purple frown. “I may not be sleeping all that well lately, and it’s beginning to wear on me I’m afraid.” Celestia sighed, hoping her sister would take the words at face value. Luna frowned a little harder. “What could possibly be interrupting your sleep? That hasn’t happened since...well since the old me gave you that one nightmare...the one about the cake and...” “STOP!” Celestia’s eye twitched, a haunted looking expression crossing her face. “Sorry, sorry, though that was probably some of Nightmare Moon’s finest work.” Luna said sheepishly. She still felt guilty, but found that acknowledging her old monster was the best way to excise it. Celestia merely glared, before shaking her head, as if to dislodge the memory, and then sighed again. “Well you aren’t too far off, the problem may admittedly be dream related. I’ve just been keeping myself awake instead, which I’m sure will clear it all up in no time!” Luna’s eyebrow shot up, finally taking in just how frazzled her sister looked. “If it’s not me, what could possibly be giving you nightmares?” “Well...” Celestia started, her mind casting around for a believable excuse, panic rising rapidly within her as her mind blanked again and again. Just as an idea started to form, she noticed the worried pair of eyes in front of her, ruining everything. She couldn’t lie to her little sister now, not when she was being so annoyingly nice. “I...” She paused as she felt an unusual heat spread across her cheeks. “I didn’t say nightmares, I said dreams.” Her voice sounded defeated, but Luna immediately noticed a small smile crease her mouth. Luna’s initial reaction was confusion, but she wasn’t the Princess of dreams for nothing, and comprehension began to slowly dawn on her. “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!” Celestia felt the panic again and saw her window to escape this ‘sisterly concern’. “Yep, dreams, just dreams, that’s all, so now you know, it’s nothing to worry about, I’m sure I’ll be fine, um, I have to go to court, yeah, court, busy day, ruler of the day and all that heheh, you look tired, you should get some sleep, I’ll see you tonight, byyyyyyyyyyye!” She said in what sounded like a single breath before disappearing in a flash of gold. Luna’s eyes widened in shock for what felt like the millionth time that morning. As the shock melted away, it was replaced by a fit of giggles. Oh this is gonna be fun, but first, I need a nap. her glee was vibrant as her wings fluttered her toward her room, the look of fatigue completely absent from the blue alicorn. Meanwhile, in a different chamber of the castle, a number of dignitaries screamed dramatically as the room was filled with golden light, followed by a loud crack. In the wake of the commotion, they noticed a very cross looking Celestia sitting before them. Celestia surveyed the shock still on most of their faces with confusion, before remembering most of them have probably never witnessed a deity teleporting, let alone even an average pony. Well they would just have to get over it, but more importantly, why was her backside so uncomfortable? Her throne felt small and tight around her. Oh this is just great, on top of everything, now I’m gaining weighhhhhhhhhhhht! Her inner voice whined. She looked down at the traitorous throne, wondering why it was silver, why the cushion was blue, and why Luna’s throne was gold and located where the her’s was supposed to be. Faust Damnit. She coughed awkwardly as she stood, sidled over, and sat in her own chair. “Anyone who saw that may report to the guards out front for directions to the dungeons.” The calm in her voice sounded much more natural than it should have. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Court had passed uneventfully, though Celestia had struggled to stay awake through much of it. Now she found herself in one of the many diplomatic meeting rooms around the castle, sitting behind a large desk. She was slumped over reading a large scroll, overly official text covering nearly every inch of it’s surface. Her eyes scanned along the document for a fourth time as three nervous looking dignitaries sat quietly and awaited for a response on the other side of the desk. She blinked a few times, trying yet again to both read the text and actually pay attention to it at the same time, a task she had failed at three times already. ‘The proposed farming regulation would effectively prevent any chance of...’ A subtle blue glow suddenly caused several of the letters on the page to re-arrange themselves, forming new words right where she was reading, shattering her almost successful attempt at reading the damned thing properly. ‘So it’s not a nightmare, but it’s still preventing you from sleeping? Was it the one about mom?’ She rolled her eyes and picked up a quill in her magic, adding a brief scrawl of her own to the document. The dignitaries’ expression showed they didn’t take the perceived amendment to their proposal well. As words of a calm blue light appeared on the once official document, words of a royal gold followed them in response. ‘No. Shouldn’t you be asleep?’ ‘I had a wonderful nap, thank you. Was it the one where you get turned into an earth pony?’ ‘No. Actually I sorta like that one.’ ‘Well what about the one where you forget to wear your regalia to court?’ ‘No. Stop asking.’ ‘Is it the one where you run a school of hairless monkey monsters?’ ‘No. I’m burning this scroll now.’ The building outrage of the dignitaries worsened when their precious and frankly absurd call to ban the use of plows on farms disappeared in a wisp of solar flame. At least that seemed to be what they wanted, she never really finished reading it after all “I’m truly sorry gentlcolts, but I can’t grant such a request at this time, though I will be happy to consider a revised version at a later date.” She just barely managed to keep the sisterly irritation from her voice. As the three stallions began to process the answer they had just received, one of their expressions suddenly went blank, as if they were just shut off. “It was the sexy doughnut dream wasn’t it?” the pony suddenly blurted out. The other two starred at him, mouths agape as he used his hoof to immediately close his jaw, where a faint blue light had just vanished. As more of his senses came back to him he looked to his comrades with confusion, but they were too busy looking horrified to react. “YOU SWORE YOU’D NEVER SPEAK OF THAT!” Celestia seemed to be screaming at the ceiling, an inferno of fury burning in the words. She looked back down at the dignitaries, who lay in pile, passed out in terror. “Please excuse me.” She said through gritted teeth before teleporting from the room. She reappeared in her sister’s chambers,the burst of light from the magic which brought her there had seemed to emit the anger the elder sister was feeling as it practically singed the carpet. Frank displeasure was written on Celestia’s face as she watched Luna roll around on her bed in fits of laughter. “Are you sure, because I didn’t sleep for weeks after walking in on that one!” Celestia stared daggers at her, entirely unamused. After a few more minutes Luna managed to take a few deep breaths and calm herself. “Just tell me already, you know I’m just gonna find out tonight anyways.” Celestia started to protest but knew there was nothing that could stop her sister’s curiosity. Instead she just sat and pouted for a moment. “But it’s embarrassing.” The words were half mumble, half whine, and very un-princess-ly. Luna grinned in anticipation, knowing she had won. Celestia sighed dramatically. “Lulu...I think...I think I’m gay.” She whispered before cringing, her eyes snapping closed for a moment. When she opened them again, she saw Luna looking bored and rolling her eyes. “That’s it?” She nodded timidly. “I know that already!” Luna said crossly. “Y-you do?” Luna crossed her forehooves. “Tia, according to the last national census, which you openly participated in, something like 90% of mares are gay.” Celestia looked a bit shocked at news of the well known fact. “Well that doesn’t automatically mean I’m...” Luna rolled her eyes again. “How about the fact that, much to my displeasure, I’ve walked in on you getting intimate with some random pony or another a million times.” Her sister’s white cheeks reddened slightly. “You have?” “Yes, you know that I have, since half the time you’re in my bedroom instead of your own! Last time it happened, you looked up at me, stuck your tongue out, and winked!” Now Luna was the one who looked furious, both at the recollection of Celestia’s antics and her lame confession. “I forgot about that.” Celestia chuckled, a somewhat cruel grin spreading across her face. “It also took about four days to get the smell of booze out of my sheets. So thanks for that, sure is fun doing laundry. Anyways,” Luna huffed, “that hardly answers my question. You have plenty of dreams about mares, I know because many of them have left me irreparably mentally scarred. Why would they cause anypony besides me to lose sleep? Celestia suddenly looked guilty as Luna neared the actual cause of her self-imposed insomnia. “This one is different...it’s about...” The panic struck her again as she tried to say it. “I-I don’t wanna talk about it!” She squeaked before teleporting again. Luna stalked to the wall that separated her and Celestia’s chambers, banging a forehoof on it a few times. “You’re acting like that yellow pegasus Twilight hangs out with!” There was no response. “I’M GOING TO FIND OUT ANYWAYS!” Silence. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Luna stared down at her prey, passed out ungracefully on the floor, a drugged cup of tea lying nearby, it’s contents seeping into the rug. Moonlight spilled in from a window, giving the scene an ominous glow “I warned you sister.” She whispered, a malevolent grin curling her lips, looking like every filly’s personal nightmare. She began to hop excitedly from hoof to hoof, the childish dance shattering any spookiness the scene previously had. “Whatever this dream is, it should be good enough to blackmail you for decades!” She told the quietly snoring alicorn. “I should probably feel guilty about this...” She put a hoof to her chin contemplatively. “Nahhh.” She closed her eyes and dove into Celestia’s dream, holding her breath excitedly as the mist began to form. In a matter of seconds she found herself seated at a common school desk. She cast her eyes to the front, taking in a tiny classroom, headed by a simple teacher’s desk with a blackboard mounted on the wall behind it. The door suddenly opened and in stepped Twilight Sparkle, wearing horn rimmed glasses, a few books and scrolls held in her magic. She set the bundle on the desk and briskly turned to the blackboard, writing ‘Ms. Sparkle’ on it in neat horn-writing. “Alright settle down class, I am Ms. Sparkle, and this is Magic 101.” The unicorn said authoritatively as she began writing equations on the board. At the mention of an entire class, Luna looked around her to find only one other student. Celestia was hunched over the small desk next to her, her eyes squinted with effort as she feverishly scribbled on the notebook in front of her. Luna leaned over a bit to see what she was writing, only to realize it was a crude drawing, the kind mothers would pin to the fridge with forced smiles after their foals handed it to them proudly. The image was of a scribbly white alicorn pressing it’s muzzle to that of a scribbly purple unicorn, and Celestia was in the middle of drawing a big heart around the whole thing. ”...Seriously?” Luna whispered incredulously at her sister. Celestia turned to her and glared. “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” As Luna comtemplated punching her sister square in the shoulder, the sound of somepony clearing their throat drifted from the front of the room. Twilight was staring at them both. “Celestia, are you passing notes in my class?” She said sternly. “Bring it here right now!” Luna had seen her sister fight in countless wars. She had seen her face down chaos itself. She had seen with her own eyes her reaction to a twisted monstrosity she still loved as a sibling. Never before had she seen Celestia look as terrified as she did now, nor did she realize it was possible for a white coated pony to look pale. “Are you sure this isn’t a nightmare?”