3/4 Hitler
I'll just leave this here because for some reason the story failed moderation the first time for having an image in the description.
The sun was shining, birds were chirping, artillery was thundering, Soviets were sacking Berlin, and Hitler was dead.
To be fair, it was probably a better option for everyone than letting the Red Army sack him as well. He went out with a bang.
"Chancellor" is generally not a good title to have, whether you're Palpatine or, well, Hitler. The universe hates a chancellor.
Because tyrannical chancellors are funnier when they’re getting what for, and because the universe is always down for a good lesson-teaching, after shooting himself in the bonker, most of Hitler found himself in the magical land of Equestria. Because magic means never having to say you’re sorry. However, Hitler himself was not magical. That would be terrible.
Due to having certain parts of his anatomy blown all over the inside of a concrete bunker, there was a little problem in transferring Hitler to another dimension. Not all of him made it. In fact, only about three parts out of every four.
When most of a dictator appeared in Ponyville, the townsponies were less than thrilled. Sure, a whole Hitler would have been worse, but who wants any more Hitler than they already have?
As usual when great evils befell the small town, Twilight Sparkle was immediately the one everybody called. She didn't advertise, she didn't have a cool company like Adolfbusters, she was just the most responsible one and therefore the easiest to foist the job on.
Not wanting any more Hitler than she had to have, Twilight convened a council of her five best friends to discuss their plan of action. Facts were obtained and presented. Conferences were held. The whole process was quite long and convoluted.
“The ¾ Reich?” Twilight asked. The discussion had been going on for quite a while, and had gotten progressively more ridiculous along the way.
Rainbow snickered. “At least this will only be a fraction as difficult as some bad guys we’ve faced.”
“That’s a nice section of truth,” Rarity confirmed. She smiled briefly.
Pinkie grinned. “So should we shove a portion of a pineapple up his ass?”
“Let’s not,” Fluttershy said. “I’m about 75% sure that won’t help our cause.”
“While I appreciate how strange and terrible this is, I think maybe we should actually be doing something about this guy,” Applejack said. Applejack, while not one for math, was still a pony of action.
The rest agreed that she was probably right. Nobody likes having Hitler in their town.
The six ponies left Twilight’s swank pad and entered the town square where Hitler had first appeared. He was no longer within sight, however. Nobody wanted Hitler in their town, but having him loose in town would be even worse. He might start Holocausting or something. Fortunately, nopony was Jewish, even if Twilight did have a six-pointed star on her butt.
Fortunately, they caught up to Hitler before he could even blitzkrieg. They found him in front of the art museum, looking at the paintings in the window.
“Stop right there, Hitler!” Twilight ordered.
“Please,” added Fluttershy.
“You’re not going to pull any of your usual stunts around here,” said Applejack.
Rainbow punched the air. “Not if we have anything to say about it!”
“As part of reforming you, I’ll also have to come up with something more appealing than brown,” Rarity said, checking out Hitler’s uniform. “The SS at least had the good sense that everything goes with black.”
“We aren’t even going to invite you to any parties until you stop being such a nasty Nastystein,” exclaimed Pinkie. “Not to brag, but not being invited to my parties is a real snub. And I’m not going to invite you until you’re not such a bad guy. And even if you’re a bad guy, that doesn’t mean you’re not a bad guy. You’re just bad. I mean, who tells people there’s ice cream in the showers and then gives them poison gas instead?”
“Ich spreche Deutsch,” Hitler replied indignantly.
Twilight frowned. “This could be a problem.”
“Why?” said Rainbow. “Evil villains doesn’t have to understand us for us to kick their butts!”
“As usual, we’re going to go for reformation first,” Twilight reminded her.
“He is responsible for several million deaths,” Rarity said. “Rainbow has a point that Hitler is a bit more evil than the villains we usually encounter.”
“Hmm, true,” Twilight said, “But he himself was not capable of that without people following his orders. He doesn’t even have magic powers. By himself, Hitler is pretty vulnerable. Plus the whole being only ¾ there thing.”
“He’s getting away,” Applejack noticed.
“On it!” Rainbow declared. “Pinkie, give me a ball from your ball emergency stash.”
Pinkie gave her a nice bowling ball, one with pink sparkles. Rainbow chucked it as hard as she could. Being a heavy bowling ball, it wasn’t that far, but the kinetic energy knocked Hitler flat on his face. He did Nazi that coming.
It seemed like he wouldn't be getting up again soon, so the girls decided to spend a few minutes talking, trying to figure out what in the world had happened to land Hitler in their midst.
“And, perhaps more importantly, only part of him,” Twilight added.
“Well, if it’s ¾, maybe there’s some significance to those numbers,” Rarity said.
“There are 4 princesses in Equestria,” Rainbow pointed out.
“And there are 6 of us,” Pinkie added. “6 divided by 2 is 3.”
“But what’s the significance of 2?” Twilight asked.
“Sun and moon?” Applejack speculated.
“So the Elements of Harmony divided by the sun and moon, and the princesses of Equestria, equal Hitler,” Twilight said flatly.
“That sounds like either the beginning of a bad joke or serious accusations against our current regime,” Rarity observed.
“How about the 3rd Reich divided by the 8 bullets in a P38 Luger and the 2nd World War?” Fluttershy suggested.
“Sure, whatever,” said Twilight. “At least this is easier math than 13/16 Stalin.”
“Even if in Soviet Russia math does you?” Applejack asked.
“Even then.” Twilight looked down at Hitler as he began to stir, groaning at the pain in his head. “Well, it looks like he's starting to come around. Pinkie, go get ¾ of a pineapple.”
I don't reccomend that anyone write stories like this 
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ILLUMINADOLF CONFIRMED!
Well that was... a thing. It's true, nobody wants more Hitler than they already have.
And the terrible 'nazi that coming' joke.
In Soviet Russia math does you.
....
Yeah, that seems about right.
WTF is strong with this one. Have a like.
Don't worry. He's only going to cause .75 Metric Hitlers
Otherwise known as 11.25 million deaths.
img0.derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/10/1/111422__safe_princess+celestia_nazi_tyrant+celestia_artist-colon-fiarel_reichsalicorn.png
BUM.BUM.BUM
I blame Bobo for this.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120317174101/simpsons/it/images/c/c7/Bobo_e_Hitler.png
"El Führer"? Mixing Spanish and German like that is an interesting style.
3?
3?
3?!
Portal 3 confirmed!
The puns
Hotline:"Hello, how can I help you?"
DAU:"Hello, my brain is stuck at 3/4th for hours now!"
Should we blame Fegelein for this one?
Puns are great.
I love you.
i.imgur.com/HtsDc2L.jpg
i.imgur.com/7y7pAt3.png
Would the editor of Mein Kampf be the first grammar Nazi?
Sometimes I question why I read such fics, but not knowing would destroy my mind as well. Logic is lost and the author wins.
5488699 Half Life 3/4 confirmed!
Beautiful.
I saw that pun coming a mile away.
Great story!
5489074
And just for fun:
5489837 Ooh, you posted a comment of my favorite song.
Otherwise, to the author, this is a pretty good story.
You sir, are a god of troll fics. I bow before you, and your horrible/awesome nazi and math puns.
Downvoted, story never explained which quarter of Hitler was missing.
Terrible concept. Only gets 14/88 heils from me.
...
Please tell me you're not making fun of Hitler killing ponies...
*facepalms*
Why?
WHY?
...
Why is this so funny?
This story again confirms that in the Internet, everything exists.
5489074 time to waste another afternoon on those videos
I'm just imagining an extended right arm and a stupid little mustache being left behind.
I've never watched south park, but I imagine it goes something like this.
I almost though it was going to be an illuminati joke.
sorry but P38 Luger ??
P08 -Luger
or
Walther P38
Two different pistols.
topkek.
Is totallynotabrony Illuminati?
Let's find out.
totallynotabrony wrote a story called "3/4 Hitler"
3/4
3+4=7
There are more than 7 words in this story.
Story->writing
totallynotabrony writes more than I do.
He has many stories.
"He has many stories" is four words.
That four is part of 3/4
3/4 of 420, which totallynotabrony defiantly does while he writes like a true XXX_MLGBr0n3y_XXX, is 315.
315 -> 5+1=6 (There is no three involved. Why would you cheekyscrubs think that 3 would stay here?)
5+1=6
666-> Satan
Satan has five letters. Do you know what else has five letters?
That's right, brony.
Brony-ny=Bro
totallynotabrony is obviously a brony, and one of the most bro out of all of them.
Bro has three letters.
Triangles have three sides.
I made one comment.
One comment=One eye.
totallynotabrony = Illuminati confirmed.
i.ytimg.com/vi/lANiKZPCKdM/hqdefault.jpg
Edit: Gr8 story m8, r8 8/8, this should get no h8.
What the hell?
This is the kind of thing I'd expect from MnM.
5489074
Are you implying TNB is secretly Fegelein?
I think I could deal with 1/2 Hiter. But 3/4? Out of the question.
5497229 It shoots 9x19mm Luger.
But yes, that was oversight on my part.
down-vote for you and a down-vote for me.
Not sure if pointed out, but the ghost arm on that 3/4sticka has a little teeny tiny dangly bit coming off it, maybe about 3 pixels thick.
The moment when killing millions of people gains a new verb to describe it.
trbimg.com/img-5256c9ee/turbine/os-south-park-targets-over-the-years-20131010-008
Well... That was a thing... Not sure why that was a thing... But it was still a thing... I like it!!
Edit: This will also be the first non-mature story that will go into my"Just WTF" folder.
it's a good story, it it feels like something's missing
not much, just a small part...
5627939 you mean, 1/4?
Normally I consider pop-culture references to be the lowest form of humor, and puns to be the second lowest, but this made me laugh.
The moral of the story is, like alcohol, Hitler is only good in moderation (and irrational numbers).
5490423 you should read Protopny350's stuff.
Laughed so hard that i got threatened with eviction from my apartment. way to go absoultly hilarious
OMG THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING! So, what about girls named "Chanler"? I've met a few, are they just SOL if the universe gets their name confused with "Chancellor"?
Why is it that even in real life the bad guys get the coolest clothes and symbols and stuff?
I see what you did there! Nazi = Not See
Of course not! It equals 3/4 Hitler. Duh!
Sounds painful, explains stereotypical Russian facial expressions, though.
Something tells me the ponies are pissed with what Hitler did. He may have had people following his orders to do it, but it is because he utterly abused their absolute trust in him.
I... just... what? ... I bow to your mind for even coming up with such a thing, let alone actually writing it; the madness is strong in this one!
6094172
This is my new senior quote.
8022569 https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/721098/
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/1/19/857.jpg
quickmeme.com/img/fb/fb40146373451c97fa0e1d38b0b2a0885ea18843e39f072a03c5d37294338a1a.jpg