Uh...

It's interesting and vaguely the same theme, but very much out of left field.

That was a very... strange addition.

Well, I look forward to this updating.

It's great to see an other chapter of this bizarre story, and I can't wait to see what will come up next. All doe I feel concerned dividing the crises into three different parts, instead of just having the attention on to Twilight is being diminishes the feeling of urgency of of her situation. What I like about the story in the first place was the morbid description of Twilight's enslavement to the parasite and how it exerted its control on her. Of course this could be because my perception of the story is tainted by Damaged and I confuse it with my desire to follow a similar path as he did.

I also feel that Discord's involvement, or partial involvement in the story, somehow changes the dynamic of the situation in a way that makes it feel more like a joke then a crises, with his use of antics he does on Fluttershy.

Still I I hope you that you have something special planed to give it an interesting wist to the story.

7738816

Twilight's story is far from over. The crisis simply expanded.

And yes, I do mean crisis. The fic may have a ridiculous premise, but overall it won't just turn into a complete joke.

7738839 thanks, happy to hear that.

Well shit. This just took a turn for the disturbing, which is all the more shocking given how I'd thought we were already there. I dread to see where you go from here... and yet, I keep reading.

Interesting twists, I am interested to see where you go with this now, but one thing struck me as seeming out of shape.

Twilight here is a unicorn, and her home was described as the tree house. But then Rarity and Shy react to the Smooze as if they had been to the Gala that Twilight helped organize as an alicorn princess much later in the show (I made a similar mistake in my little attempt at a sequel, writing about alicorn Twi by mistake). Of course, you could just slap AU on it and be done.

7738816 Gah, I was pretty clear not to bring up my branching of this here. I am sure Dark Avenger will delve into Twilight's new situation with time. I put a focus on that, considering the source of the parasite a "fluke" (Oh pun, how I love you), they seem to be delving much more into the how and why.

7739288

Yes, I will admit, this was an error on my part that I noticed, but forgot to correct. Sticking AU on it feels a little awkward since there's really no major deviation, just sort of a "time paradox".

I am curious as to the big picture, as of right now this seems to a corruption/mind control exhibition. Which isn't bad in of itself, it just seems all very unrelated and distant from the first two chapters.

I am waiting to see how this goes.

Well I can say this improved quite a bit since last chapter. The problem just became much more complicated for the mane six.
At least they had the beginnings of a plan, much as half of it is basically irrelevant now.
Keep going! ;)

7739304 you could say in this timeline she managed to save her treehouse from tirek, or at least rebuild it.

7743062

The issue isn't the tree house, it's that Twi isn't an alicorn here. I'm gonna use "artistic license" here as my defense.

Two things:

One:
Discord wouldn't do that. His character is shown to almost depend on Fluttershy's friendship, so hurting her like this would jeopardise it greatly, as the result would not be the same. This can be solved by number

Two:
Alternate Universe tag.
7739304
It still needs an Alternate Universe tag. It's a deviation from canon. Not an expansion upon it, a deviation. Meaning it's an Alternate Universe. An Alternate Timeline is still an Alternate Universe.

An Alternate Universe tag solves lots of criticisms about OOC characters (see point One) and character deviations (no Twilicorn).

Anyway, this is the farthest I'm reading as I don't like the direction this story is going from here. I'm not a fan of the Smooze, but the fact that Discord did what he did here is just Nope.avi territory for me.

7743120
7751707
Actually I agree that it doesn't need an Aternate Universe tag. Most people get confused with this, but the AU tag is not supposed to be for any and all stories that don't follow strict canon. It is supposed to be for stories that are completely different from the show, for example Princess's Celestia Died and wasn't there for Twilights Coronation. It wouldn't need a tag for something like; right before twilight became an Alicorn Discord changed her into a Mule for a whole week then turned. Every story that is written on this site is FICTION meaning it doesn't have to be exactly like the show or the writers wouldn't be able to exhort their creativity to the maximum potential.

At least that's my two cents about it .

P.S. This comment is not meant to offend any one who says it needs an AU Tag, it's just my opinion since I see this confusion about the tag a LOT.

7753713
Still. Having the tag would clear up any confusion as to what's happening, as well as cull comments about OOC characters and differences in environment and/or timeline.

7754355 I agree that it needs the tag, its one thing to write a fanfic that expands on already established canon lore... its a whole other ball game when canon and character traits are thrown out the window so this is definatly an AU without a doubt.

anymore?

8120687

So you're implying this is not 100% medically accurate?

Also, the skull does have openings, and there is no canon "unicorn horn anatomy" to my knowledge.

Just when things are getting good too. My favorite part so far is the Smooze scene with Rarity going into her. It's sick but cool. So when's the next update?

Fetish freakshow.

The unicorn was visibly shaken, but she stared down her friend firmly. "Applejack, we've crossed into Griffon territory. And since they posted armed guards, I doubt they take visitors lightly. How do you plan to explain to them that a group of ponies crossed over unannounced, right at the same time one of their guards got assaulted?"

One timeline to.the left's AJ: "Yea' say it was one of 'em dragons who ain't Spike."

Everypony else: "That's specist."

I guess Discord had a Fight Fire with Fire scenario brewing up.

When hands grow in the right direction, you can turn everyday life into a horror movie. Twilight fell victim to a parasite while trying to figure out a way to get out of trouble. Rarity became a hostage of Smooze, unable to change anything. And Fluttershy, literally turned into the essence of chaos. Thanks to Discord. The story is very interesting, in the spirit of the series itself. The only pity is that he was forgotten. Although thanks at least for this, there is something to remember when I started dating MLP.