• Published 27th Oct 2014
  • 1,627 Views, 48 Comments

The Snipe Hunt - Admiral Biscuit



The Cutie Mark Crusaders embark on a snipe hunt. They don't find any snipes, but they find something better.

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Snipe Hunters (Yay!)

The Snipe Hunt
Admiral Biscuit

“Ah've got my Nightmare Night costume all picked out already. How about you?”

Sweetie shrugged. “I dunno. I think I'll be a vampire this year.”

“You were a vampire last year. You can't be the same thing two years in a row!”

“Why not?”

“It's—it's like a rule, or something? Right Scootaloo?”

“Huh?”

Apple Bloom pounded the front of the wagon. “Sweetie Belle says she's gonna be a vampire again for Nightmare Night.”

“Vampires are cool,” Scootaloo decreed.

“Ah know, but she was one last year.”

“See?” Sweetie stuck her tongue out at Apple Bloom. “I can too be a vampire again if I want to be.”

“Well, Ah think it's stupid to be the same thing twice in a row.”

“Fine. I won't be a vampire. I'll be a, a noble unicorn. With a cape and fangs.”

“That's exactly the same thing.”

“No it isn't.”

“Girls! Quiet.” Scootaloo stopped buzzing her wings and let the scooter and wagon coast. “We're never going to catch a snipe if we're being loud.”

Sweetie Belle ran her hoof along the edge of the wagon. “Why do we want to catch a snipe anyway?”

“So we can get our snipe-hunting cutie marks.”

“I know—but isn't that kind of mean? I don't think a snipe would make a good pet.”

Scootaloo facehoofed, nearly crashing the scooter. “We don't have to keep it, Sweetie—we can let it go after we catch it and get our cutie marks, duh.”

“It's just kind of mean, to catch it if we don't even want it.”

“Ah asked you if you had any ideas, and you didn't.”

“Did too! I said we could go to the spa. Rarity gave me three coupons for a spa treatment.”

Scootaloo reached her hoof down and skidded to a stop. “Getting cutie marks in being . . . spaed would be stupid.”

“Fine,” Sweetie huffed. “I'll just go by myself. Three times.”

“All right, that's settled.” Apple Bloom grabbed three burlap sacks out of the wagon. “Each of us needs to have a sack, and then we'll just kind of walk through the woods, looking for a snipe.”

Their goal firmly in mind, the three fillies finally stopped arguing as they eagerly walked through the woods, their sacks held at the ready. Apple Bloom led, Scootaloo took her place in the middle, Sweetie brought up the rear.

They had—in their minds—completely explored the small copse of woods with no sign of a snipe, when they came upon a stand of brambles that was taller than their heads.

“There might be snipes in there,” Scootaloo said enthusiastically.

“Yeah! Ah bet a lot of creatures would want to hide in there.”

“I'm sure there's all sorts of brambles in there,” Sweetie said unenthusiastically. “Maybe I'll wait out here, in case you flush one out.”

“No way.” Scootaloo crouched down and wriggled under a branch. “We've all got to go together. We can't corner it with just two.”

“Fine.” Sweetie rolled her eyes. “There'd better be dozens of snipes in there.”

******

Predictably, there were none. Three fillies crawled out the other side of the bramble patch with nothing to show for their effort but scratches and dirt in their coats.

“It's getting late,” Apple Bloom observed. “We ought to head back to the wagon before too long.”

“Yeah. Rarity worries if I'm out too late.”

“Sure.” Scootaloo was looking across the pumpkin field in front of them, not really paying attention to the other two crusaders. “What is that?”

They turned their heads to see where Scootaloo's hoof was pointing. About a hundred yards away from them, a orange and white contraption sat next to a pile of pumpkins, its barrel pointed into the sky.

“Ah don't know.” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo tore off towards it at a gallop; Sweetie noticed they were gone a moment later and galloped after them.

They circled it, taking it in from every angle, before Sweetie Belle spoke. “I think it's a pumpkin cannon. I heard Rarity talking about it with Fluttershy yesterday. Fluttershy said that somepony was shooting it off and scaring all the animals.” She lowered her ears. “I bet that's why we couldn't find any snipes.”

“Yeah, yeah. Forget the snipes.” Scootaloo knocked a hoof against the cannon's smooth side. “We could get our cutie marks as cannoneers. That would be totally awesome.”

“Rarity says I'm not allowed to use anything explosive or flammable,” Sweetie Belle griped. “Especially in town.”

“It's powered by air,” Apple Bloom said.

“Oh.” Sweetie looked at it. “Well, I guess it would be okay then.”

Scootaloo nodded eagerly. “Yeah. Come on, help me load this thing.” She grabbed a pumpkin off the pile and held it between her forehooves, stood on her hind legs and jumped, coming up a few feet short from the end of the barrel.

“Hold on a second.” Apple Bloom climbed onto the barrel, letting her weight pull it down to where Scootaloo could load it.

Once the projectile was in the barrel, Sweetie Belle poked it down with a stick, like pirate ponies loaded their cannons. She wasn't sure why that was important, but it was. When she reached the end of stick-length, she nodded at Apple Bloom, who slid back down the barrel and let the muzzle of the gun rise back up into the air.

Scootaloo put her hoof on the firing lever. “I get to shoot it first, 'cause I found it.” Before either of her companions could protest, she yanked it down, wincing as the cannon let out a deafening whoosh.

All three turned and watched as the pumpkin arced over the patch, splattering to the ground several hundred feet away.

“My turn next.” Apple Bloom climbed back up on the barrel. “Stand back; this is going to be awesome.”

******

Ten minutes later, the pile of ammunition was completely depleted. The three crusaders looked across the wasteland of destroyed pumpkins, and then back at their still blank flanks.

“I really thought that would do it,” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom looked at the cannon thoughtfully. “Maybe we need to build our own pumpkin cannon.”

“Yeah!” Sweetie's enthusiasm had risen with each pumpkin fired. “Let's have a sleepover at Apple Bloom's house and build a pumpkin cannon!”

“We don't have any pumpkins to shoot. Big Mac didn't plant any this year. Said we always had too many, and all we ever did with 'em was make Jack-O-Lanterns.” She looked regretfully at the cannon. “Ah bet we could make the barrel smaller, though, and make an apple cannon.”

“Yeah! Cutie mark crusaders apple cannon engineers! Yay!”

The three fillies shared a final look at the pumpkin cannon before heading back towards the bramble patch. As they started to push their way in, Sweetie Belle paused. “Does anypony remember where we left the wagon?”

Author's Note:

A One-Shot-Ober Fic

Comments ( 46 )

“Rarity says I'm not allowed to use anything explosive or flammable,” Sweetie Belle griped. “Especially in town.”

Rarity has such harsh and unreasonable rules! :rainbowlaugh:

Whose pumpkin-cannon was it?

Good as usual, Admiral. Nice job. :pinkiesmile:

5190823

Rarity has such harsh and unreasonable rules! :rainbowlaugh:

I know, right? :unsuresweetie:

Whose pumpkin-cannon was it?

That's a good question. One which I have no answer to.

Snipe hunt?
Huh. Like in King of the Hill.

Nice story by the way.

5190978
I fondly remember snipe hunts from when I was in Boy Scouts. Turns out, the adults were jerks.

5191015
Everyone is a jerk. You're a jerk. I'm a jerk. Everyone in this comment box is a jerk. The kindest person in the world is a big fucking jerk.

5191022
So true ... I know I won't miss the chance to send kids on a snipe hunt.

5191113 when you see one, you'll know. ;)

5191015 I guess all of the leaders are the same, wherever you go. For a scavenger hunt at a campout, we used the argument that since snipes didn't exist, anything could be a snipe. So we used a pinecone.

5191636

since snipes didn't exist, anything could be a snipe.

Yeah, about that. . .

Turns out that there's about two dozen total species of Snipe. The word "sniper" originally described a hunter skilled enough to successfully hunt the difficult-to-shoot bird, and was later applied to military sharpshooters.

While "snipe hunts" themselves are intended to be impossible tasks, the term is a reference to the extreme difficulty of hunting the actual bird, rather than a non-existent creature.

5192714
*GASP*

The leaders lied to us! :pinkiegasp:

5193720

Unfortunately, it would appear so. :ajsleepy:

5193749

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!


...

...Ah well, time to get back to reading. Hmm, perhaps I can convince my coworkers that we have snipes stocked in the back room tomorrow...

5192714
And that does lend a bit of veracity to the task, since there are indeed snipes, and it's conceivable one could be caught . . . although probably not by a troop of boy scouts searching through the woods at night.

they did not have flashlights, you can't hunt for snipes without a flashlight:pinkiegasp: you need a flashlight to stun them, so you can throw the bag over the snipe.:trollestia:

5193880
I think they're a tropical bird, so yeah, most Boy Scouts will have a lot of trouble finding them.

5194654
Not true--snipes live in nearly any climate. The Wilson's Snipe, for example, lives in the northern United States and Canada.

5194645

you need a flashlight to stun them, so you can throw the bag over the snipe.

You've been on a snipe hunt before, haven't you?

5194798

I stand corrected; I recalled that the term 'sniper' originated among the British in southeast Asia, and didn't realize the birds were cosmopolitan.

5194819
Yeah, according to Wikipedia, they've got pretty much worldwide distribution. They also live in marshes and along shorelines, so the odds of finding one in the woods are about zero.

I want to say when I was a kid 'snipe hunts' were sometimes called 'snape hunts,' although now that would have different, more amusing connotations. :pinkiehappy:

They're armed now. Nopony is safe.:rainbowderp:

Lel.

pumpkins,its barrel

5201434
Is anypony ever safe from the CMC?

5204299
Correction made; thank you!

I am worried for what the cannon was ment to protect from.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders plus heavy weaponry is always a good combination. In one of my stories, I have Apple Bloom getting her cutie mark by building a trebuchet, and then improving the design, making it more like artillery.

Another idea I've put in stories is having a stew, cooked in a pumpkin, as the centerpiece of holiday meals. Because, sadly, these Equestrians won't have huge slabs of meat on their dinner table, like a proper meal.

5250720

The Cutie Mark Crusaders plus heavy weaponry is always a good combination.

I know, right? What could possibly go wrong?

In one of my stories, I have Apple Bloom getting her cutie mark by building a trebuchet, and then improving the design, making it more like artillery.

I can't even tell you how much I love trebuchets. If I had enough space, I'd build one in my backyard.

Another idea I've put in stories is having a stew, cooked in a pumpkin, as the centerpiece of holiday meals.

Could you cook a stew in a pumpkin, or would the pumpkin get all mushy?

5264050 FoodNetwork.com to the rescue!

Squash Soup in Pumpkin Bowls

I'm not sure if it's totally equivalent, but there's one recipe using pumpkins as a bowl.

5264326
Huzzah for the internet!

FWIW, I can totally believe serving a stew in a pumpkin, or in gourd bowls; it's the cooking it there that I'm a bit skeptical about. I say 'a bit,' because I've had butternut squash cut in two, filled with yummy stuff, and cooked like that, and the squash is plenty strong enough to withstand that without melting into a mess in the oven.

Recipies notwithstanding, I'm liable to believe that you could hollow out a pumpkin, fill it with stew ingredients, and cook it in the oven, although I'd like to see a recipe where that's the process, just because if it can be done, someone's sure to have done it already.

“We don't have any pumpkins to shoot. Big Mac didn't plant any this year. Said we always had too many, and all we ever did with 'em was make Jack-O-Lanterns.” She looked regretfully at the cannon. “Ah bet we could make the barrel smaller, though, and make an apple cannon.”

“Yeah! Cutie mark crusaders apple cannon engineers! Yay!”

I want to see them make this!

And here's a Snipe Hunt game just for fun!

5922099
Hmm. A couple lengths of drainpipe, some suitable explosives. . . .

spaed

Mispronounced this hilariously on the first take for the reading -- used the long 'A'. :rainbowlaugh:

“Does anypony remember where we left the wagon?”

I did a take on that, there is actually never mentioned any features that were around the wagon at the time they left it somewhere in the woods. (no doubt intentional)
This made me feel like the whole point or main idea of this fic was to present a day like any other in the lifes of the crusading fillies.

5190978 Oh right, I remember that episode. It is a good one.
It put the characters in a moral dilemma and the conflict reached a conclusion where the characters actually dealt and found a resolution to the moral conflict.

That's one of the things that made me a fan of the Kings of the Hills, it's just plain good, old fashion, orthodox story telling of the slice of life genera.

~Leonzilla

6955315

I did a take on that, there is actually never mentioned any features that were around the wagon at the time they left it somewhere in the woods. (no doubt intentional)

It might even be back in Ponyville.

This made me feel like the whole point or main idea of this fic was to present a day like any other in the lives of the crusading fillies.

That, and I needed an excuse to put a pumpkin cannon in one story. Actually, more of the latter.

6955315
Hell yea! sucks it got canceled. :fluttercry:

6967911 I think what bothers me the most about it is that it was canceled to make room for The Cleveland Show. I mean really?

The network actually decided that investing in another Family Guy was a better investment than renewing The Kings of the Hill.

Something to think about.

~Leonzilla

The Cutie Mark Crusaders embark on a snipe hunt. They don't find any snipes, but they find something better.

Gonna be honest, based on the summary, that's not the ending I expected.

I was expected something like a new friend. Not a cannon.

7525899

Gonna be honest, based on the summary, that's not the ending I expected.
I was expected something like a new friend. Not a cannon

Why can't they be friends with a cannon?

Slice of Life done Best!

8704799

:rainbowlaugh:I mean... there was plenty to laugh at in this fic, but that there was the kind of special you never out grow.

Very true.

Heck, I once lost a car (forgot where I'd parked it).

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