• Member Since 21st Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen July 4th

kingfish


I write horse words.

E

Discord had been doing very well in recent times when it came to not doing evil. Not that Discord was evil, of course; he was just looking to have some fun. But anyway, Princess Celestia decided that he needed to become a productive member of Equestrian society, rather than living however he wanted. And so, the Almighty Discord, Lord of Equestria, Spirit of Chaos... was ordered to find a job. Ugh, gag!


This story was inspired by a dream I had once, as my sister will be extremely eager to explain to you for some reason, even though it was my dream and not hers. :ajbemused: Each chapter will be a new job, and suggestions for new chapters would be greatly appreciated.
Also, if any of you have read Princess Stupid Jerk McButt by Twinkletail, you know exactly what inspired this story's writing style. And if you have not read it, I highly suggest it. Unless you hate Trixie's ego like my sister does. In which case, read the Lunaverse stories instead!
Why Trixie get no love? :applecry:


Nov. 15, 2014- I got featured?!?!
I can't even words.:rainbowkiss:

Sep. 24, 2014- This story finally got its first dislike! How dare they?!:flutterrage:

Jk, but this is good. It means I must have room to improve. From now on, any dislikes are encouraged to be accompanied by a review, critique, or suggestion. If you didn't like it, please help me make it better. And please be brutal and specific (especially specific). :eeyup:

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 54 )

Looks to be good xD

Can't wait to see some more of this. It seems like it'll be pretty good. Though I wonder what he did to fluttershy :(

unless it's the tirek thing, though it sounds like something new. Not sure.

anyway, keep it up! /)

I had a similar idea but Discord ended up being a bus driver.

The ONE thing I have a problem with is that, when you look at how they treat Discord at the end of the Tirek episode, they really shouldn't be holding it against him, as, in the episode, it seemed like they forgave him. Other than that, I think this has potential.

4917724
This story begins a few days after the battle with Tirek. I will elaborate further next chapter.
4918768
In my canon, it's only Twilight that's giving him a hard time, but that may change in the future.

EDIT: I think I may have retconned Discord's relationship with the Mane 6 a teensy bit. Please bear with me as I attempt to fix it without abandoning my vision for the story.

4919847

Well what I meant was, is Fluttershy still upset with him about the betrayal with Tirek? Or did he do something new to make her sad/angry since that?

4918768
As for them giving him a hard time seeming out of character, I can still see Twilight being miffed about it, given that the adrenaline and magic has worn off since the fight and she had time to think clearer about what transpired. Fluttershy was close, so we can see her being hurt a bit even if she forgave him, and Twilight never trusted him anyway. That's my reasoning/opinion on the emotions in this story right now.

Here are a few job ideas;
-mercenary
-work at barnyard bargains
-teachers assistant
-weather patrol

"Where's your sense of fun?"
"On a shelf in my library, which, if you hadn't noticed, was recently obliterated.

Ouch!

Well, won't this be interesting. It certainly will!
Do continue please :pinkiehappy:

If you want suggestions for jobs to Discord...

Foalsitter: Discord taking care of the CMC and other fillies and colts.

Princess: Why not? He can have wings and a horn if he want, and like that Celestia and Luna can have a vacation

Thief: He can take what he wants without problem

Sugar Cube Corner: Why not work in there with Pinkie? He can make a excellent chocolate rain

General: Discord need you for the army

History Teacher: Who is better that someone that is almost as old as Celestia and Luna to teach history?

Lab Experiment: Twilight can tie him in a table and experiment with the chaos magic in Discord.

Decorator: Well, he can redecorate your house very easy, and chaos is the best this season.

Librarian: After Tirek destroyed Ponyville library, they need another, and Twilight is now a Princess so the job is free.

Cleaner: He can clean dust with a maid outfit, and even clean the brains and the memory of something that happened

And I could tell a couple more.

This looks very interesting. I think it would be funny to see Discord as a teacher. Better still, if he hated his class. Ooh, what if he had to teach Diamond Tiara? Sorry, I'll shut up. But this story looks very interesting, and I cannot wait for the next chapter. So if it doesn't come out soon... (Menancing laugh)

Anyway, this time I will really shut up.

Loving the unreliable narrator. As for Discordant antics, you're doing a pretty good job, but you can't really force that kind of thing. Try to visualize Discord as he converses, treating his shape as just another aspect of his expression. It doesn't have to be funny per se, just chaotic. (This, of course, means it will be funny to Discord, if not for anyone else. Cf. Derpy's impromptu trampoline session.)

Honestly, I can't blame Twilight for holding a grudge. Discord was responsible for enabling one of the biggest threats she's ever faced. One that blew up her home, no less. :twilightangry2:

Looking forward to more. Especially what Discord did to Fluttershy.

I read this premise and I couldn't help but see the episode of "Amazing World of Gumball". Where Richard got a job as a pizza delivery man. I can see "Ms. Mom's" speach to Anise as Twilight saying it to Celestia.

4922827
I already started writing the history teacher bit. All your other ideas sound really good though.

Well, here are my ideas:
-Hatter. He is mad. So he should be a hatter.

-He should open a sandwich-shop with really crazy sandwichs.
For example: Hunter's Delight: A sandwich that flees from it's plate, and the customer has to hunt it down before eating.
Random Special: Every bite tastes completely different, and the tastes are also completely random (Like these beans in Harry Potter).
Chaos Light Lite: An edible light-show. Nothing but light.
Fire Alarm: A tiny sandwich for breakfast. Like two dozen cups of strong coffee mixed with a heap of jalapenos.
After eating this, you are awake. Definitely.

-He also could open a fun park. A roller-coaster designed by Discord would be epic.

-Oh, and he could work in the weather patrol. This would fail, of course. Fail hilariously.

Oh good lord, I can't wait to see what happens next.

5033886
Discord explaining Gravity while standing upside-down on the ceiling.
Or maybe Cheerilee wants to do some chemistry...
And Discord shows the pupils how to make exploding chocolate milk.
:pinkiecrazy:
Ah, another idea!
Tectonics!
And Discord teleports the class into the middle of an erupting volcanoe!

5034158
Only if Discord dresses as Miss Frizzle.

...I now have the mental image of John De Lancie saying, "Seatbelts everyone!" to the crew of the Enterprise D...

5034166
Wait...
(Googling "Miss Frizzle")
Ah, yes!
Yep, he should totally dress up like this.
And he should borrow Spike to complete that picture.

5034158

Discord explaining gravity while standing upside-down on the ceiling

:rainbowderp::twilightangry2:Alright, have you been hacking my iPad over the internet?
My writing must be predictable. :applejackunsure:

5034711

Alright, have you been hacking my iPad over the internet?

Nope, I´m your subconscious. I´m you putting spoilers about your story in here without you knowing about it. Can you prove me wrong?

Setting jokes aside, it´s really hard to write Discord unpredictable. There is always this one crazy thing you get first in the head when you put "Discord" and "Situátion XY" together. Finding something that is as crazy but not as predictable (You always have to remember yourself that the first thing you got in your mind is also the first thing in the mind for lots of other people) is the core of great comedy.
Which doesn´t mean that the predictable thing is bad.

For example, you could have Pinkie throw a Recess-Party, and Discord dropping the bass - on the schoolhouse.

Heh, discord as a teacher.... Especially with the CMC. Nothing can go wrong!

Einstalion, Neighton, and Pascolt.

Also, Discord should become either an accountant or an architect. His math is as crazy as he is, and is completely un-reproducible, but somehow it works better than even what the pros could do.

Okay, the brain surgery bit was hilarious, and the rest was just too much fun. Pity there weren't any "Magic School Bus" references, but I guess you can't have everything.

Coltstein... Newstallton ... Pascuamare

5053093
Don't be pessimistic. I just may possibly probably do something about that. :raritywink: Shh. Don't tell anyone! :twilightsmile:
5053075
Used. Thank you very much, that is helpful. Don't worry, I'll credit everyone for their ideas—from now on, that is. :twilightblush:

The sentence, "Equestria's main Princess was obviously trying and failing to maintain her composure as she thought about how hot Discord was," was so out of place that I was actually like, 'what....is he sweaty or something..? O- OH!'

5053185
Corrected to improve understandability. Thanks for mentioning that.

5053222
No no! Not at all! I was merely pointing out that it got me from way out of left field, so I was dumb enough not to register what it meant for a few seconds. Nothing was wrong with it at all! I thought it was funny the way it came so suddenly. :p

5053238
I kind of got that, but I don't really like misunderstandings of any kind. I just changed "hot" to "attractive," and I think it 's still just as funny but less likely to cause confusion. Small changes like this can help a story entertain a wider audience if they add up.

Plus, I make tiny changes like that to my stories all the time anyway because I can be very particular about phrasing. :twilightsheepish:

Discord could become a used cart salesman.
Discord as a psychiatrist.

5053360
I swear you people can read my mind. :ajsmug:

the q reference was brilliant! and subtle :P

5053451
Why, thank you. Naturally, I am a HUGE fan of TNG.
:trixieshiftright:
Okay, fine, I'm ignorant and just looked up funny Q moments, alright? Happy?

That history lesson was priceless :rainbowlaugh:

The pink mare stared at the draconequus, who simply waved happily, quietly deducing what he could get away with pranking her with.

She's actually purple.

images.wikia.com/mlp/images/archive/6/6b/20110822220128!Cheerilee_surprised_S1E18.png

As you can see she's a deeper shade of purple than Twilight is.
_______________________

"Naturally, being the only known draconequus in Equestria, Discord has nobly volunteered for this procedure. In exchange, he will be your main teacher for most of the rest of the day." Diamond Tiara naturally spoke up.

"You actually expect me to touch an icky brain? I'm going to tell my dad if you make me go anywhere near that thing."

\

Both change that to the pony who was actually speaking, and move the underlined spot down to DT's dialog.
__________________________________

5054697
Corrected, thanks. I don't have any trouble understanding it, but I'm the author, so I already know what's going on.
Also, Cheerilee looks a shade of pink to me, but I can see the purple. Fair point.

Hmm. this sounds interesting. Featured, by the way.

Nice :rainbowlaugh:
Shame the chase scene was over only a 3rd of the way into the song. It was a nice touch though.

5273631
Tl;dw
Too long; didn't write.

The song link doesn't work for me, for some reason. Though from context, I had Yakety Sax playing in my head anyway.

Overall a good chapter, though. I like Discord's method of playing hide and seek.

URL code for what I'm assuming is Yakety Sax is borked.

5274316
5273746
Okay, I've edited the story to use an embedded video until I can figure out what's wrong with the thing. That's weird.:derpyderp1:

I really liked this chapter. I can't wait to see what his next occupation is.

I just love those three fillies!

I totally believe him. Ever read the comics? They are his best friends after Flutters.
Great chapter, and that sandwich is a nice touch.

Also, I there got some interesting lines in my head for that part with the argument about physics:
"Neighton's First Law says all objects will maintain their state of motion unless acted upon by a nonzero net force."
"Well, may I...? ", Discord sais, holding up his claw, ready to snap. Twilight sternly held it and stopped it from snapping.
"No, you may not change the rules of physics just to make a point in some silly argument!"
"Why not? I did it before!"
"Then maybe you should change it back."
"Very well, if you insist...
But first, ever thought about why Pegasi can fly with their small wings?"
"Yes, I did, but what does it have to do with...
Oh!"
"Exactly."

My favorite part was that Discord created a basement just for the express purpose of having the CMC search it. Sounds exactly like something he'd do!
The chase scene with the three Discords was funny.

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