• Published 21st Aug 2014
  • 5,487 Views, 245 Comments

Types of Love - TheGreatEater

[GoldenVerse side fic.] After Raindrops brings up some unsettling facts about Spike, Twilight and Rarity are forced to take a look at themselves and their treatment of a young Drake who has been a major part of their life.

  • ...

Ponies Are Crazy!

I seriously want to buck in the face whoever invented gravity Celestia thought to herself as she wavered in the air, the exercise of flying for longer than a few seconds winding her as she made her way to the Canterlot Institute of Technology.

While at the same time working through a list of candidates to replace the current Dean. Or at the very least work to fix whatever tribalism existed in her school. Sure it was for the longest time called her school for ‘Gifted Unicorns’. And them turning away ponies of the other tribes was a thing built upon since it’s inception.

But that was mostly built around ignorance and the thoughts of the times being that only unicorns could do magic. With those thoughts having been disproven several centuries prior, it seemed that the rules to spread their horizons never became a thing.

Sure if it wasn’t for Spike, I would’ve ignored it since it wouldn’t have made sense to change things when only .01 percent of the non-unicorn populace can do any type of magic past their racial abilities. And of that small percentage, only a few hoofful a generation try applying. Still for someone to make it in there, do the work, only for them to be insulted for not being a unicorn is beyond stupid.

With the Institute in sight Celestia let herself land and panting from the exertion trotted building. Well at least my Sister is going to have an easier time of things.

After seeing to it that Diamond Tiara was properly attired for her new position as Junior Assistant-In-Training, Luna went to work at overseeing Day Court while her sister worked on the whole Spike issue.

With the chaos from the earlier incident at breakfast and the few rumors she heard of her sister's antics ensured that this was going to be a rather hectic and interesting day at court. Looking at Diamond Tiara as she trotted beside her she gave her a heads up, “Now Diamond Tiara, this is going to be one Tartarus of a day. I just thought that you should know that this is isn’t by any stretch going to be a normal day.”

“Is it going to be better or worse?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“Well … possibly a hundred times more stupider,” Luna sighed, “it’s a sad fact that ponies can be stupid, and when scared, are more stupid than usual.”

“Oh … well alright,” Diamond replied unsurely.

“Sorry if that sounds not really princess-y, but as the once Bearer of Honesty. I think it’s better that you know the truth of things, rather than get your hopes up. Sure the court has seen some interesting things, and at rare times has seen the betterment of society. But mostly it’s filled with petty arguments that could be settled by lower courts, or self entitled ponies trying to drag others down to lift themselves up.

“But on the rare occasions you do see something that rekindle your faith in ponies. Or get somepony who goes to court just to say they met a princess. But with what happened today .... let’s just say it’s better to be on guard for the worst.”

Luna wondered what was going behind Diamond Tiara’s mind as they walked through the halls that grew progressively more chaotic as they neared the court. Her curiosity which was instantly killed when the first pony bothered to talk to them.

It was a rather disheveled looking Earth Pony, whose bright, neon pink mane was as fritzed looking as Twilight during one of her existential crisis moments, “PRINCESS! Oh my Celestia you’re here!”

“Um … yes?” Luna asked, already feeling her left eye start to twitch.

“Is that child going to be your sacrifice to keep you from bringing about the end times?”

“WHAT!?” Luna and Diamond Tiara shouted simultaneously.

“Your sacrifice. You know to keep you and your sister from destroying the world for your own personal pleasure?” The mare responded with utmost sincerity.

“Too … for … I can’t begin to process that comment,” Luna replied.

“Oh Noooz! I’m sorry princess Luna. If my comment made you angrier at all life on the planet I’m more than willing to sacrifice my pets, my husband, and even my third born foal.” The male pegasus beside her nodded in agreement, “I agree. Although maybe not our third born, he’s a little to rambunctious. I think our first born would agree though.”

The foals around them looked at Princess Luna, before shoving the oldest at her, whom turned around and glared at her parents and siblings before huffing, “Fine! It’s not like I had anything better to do. As long as it saves the world, and if I’m going I might as well ask … princess if I trade my dolly collection can they take the place of your other sacrifice? There’s no need to have two foals is there?” She asked.

Diamond Tiara looked at the scene with a dropped jaw and glazed eyes as her brain shut down on what was happening before her. Whereas Luna facehooved with enough force to rattle the foundations of Canterlot and groaned. “Listen, nopony is being sacrificed. And while it is noble of you young one to offer to trade your collection for the life of another. It’d be better if you used your mind rather than jumping to conclusions.”

Taking a deep breath she let out the Royal Canterlot Voice to the rest of the ponies in line, while staring at the family before her, “To recap! There is no sacrificing of ponies, and there is no end times! If you have any further stupid questions relay them to Pony Resources.”

Now Canterlot is a sturdy city. Despite being built precariously on the side of a mountain. Nearly the height of Cloudsdale, during certain times of the year. Had survived Discord, a Changeling Invasion, and the various degrees of mischief, anarchy, and shenanigans a bunch of child age through adolescent mages could get into during their time at Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns, as well as the technological disaster area Canterlot Institute of Technology sometimes was labeled as.

But two Alicorn Leveled facehooves, on top of steady force of a city wide stampede of nervous ponies. As well as Celestia’s attempt at exercise for the first time in centuries. Added with the shout of frustration of an Alicorn was too much for it to handle. Which made Luna groan all the louder as the plateau Canterlot was built on top of broke and slid down the mountain to the avalanche covered grounds below.

“Celestia’s going to be so angry about this,” Luna replied when they finally landed.

“Princess Luna … is this an average day for you and princess Celestia?” Diamond Tiara asked as she clung tightly to Luna’s foreleg.

“In someways more than others,” Luna replied over the crowd as chaos started to reign.

“Wow … ponies are crazy!” Diamond Tiara moaned.

“You have no idea young one. You have no idea.”

Author's Note:

Sorry that it took so long to come out with this.

It's currently un-edited (I promised by the end of the month I'd post something, and I didn't want y'all to wait.). But I'll post an edited version after the greatest editor ever (KingTiger666) has time to look it over.

While originally this was part of a sidequel for an AU of Season 4. It's going to start going into S4's storylines (well this and Golden Crusade) in two chapters. But start up in the next chapter for this, and the chapter after the next installment for Golden Crusade (right now it's being worked on here and there. But isn't near time for it to be anywhere near done.).

I hoped y'all liked this chapter, and I do apologize for IRL getting in the way of my writing. Which used to be much more productive than what it's been XD.

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Comments ( 34 )

I liked the chapter, welcome back, I hope there is a lot of more about this fiction, is one of my favorites. XD

Do you know if you can reach Neko on fimfiction?


I'm not sure. I know that Neko's reachable on DeviantArt, but I don't think I've talked to Neko on fimfic.


Definitely going to be more. Even if it will be awhile between updates (between IRL, and finding time to write), I plan on writing this fic out to it's conclusion, which is quite a ways off. Seeing as I have a lot to get done here, and Diamond Tiara's and Spike's story (as well as those who become integral to the story) still has a lot of growth to do.

The "end times" has moved from a running gag to seemingly an important plot point. Who's out there telling ponies the Regal Sisters want to end the world and can only be appeased by sacrifice?


It's still a bit of a running gag (or more of a huffing and puffing gag). Still it's there mostly because last chapter had ponies freaking out, and this is one chapter past that (rather than it disappearing as if it never happened., turning into a What Happened To The Mouse?). And the fact that I'm playing with the trope of a herd mind (by themselves a pony / person is smart. But you take a group, change their lives / status quo (aka. Avalanche brought by face hoof, chaos brought about by the magical comic, and not to mention a bit of fun with the cakelestia / Tia need exercise trope) and suddenly groups loose their mind.).

Add to the fact that group (herd) thinking leads for small bits of histeria that would pass quickly, to grow quickly out of proportion. So while normally a person / pony's mind wouldn't lead to sacrifice to appease immortal physical deities placed on a pedestal. A group freaking out can go to seriously insane bits of Troll / Chewbacka Logic.

And I promise that it'll be over soonish.

8059768 I was speaking more in general, but yes. Also, AGE MEANS NOTHING IN THE NAME OF DEBATE!


Your numbers aren't very good.

Not just... that Spike being treated like a small adult sometimes and a child other doesn't mean "he's probably 20", and it's far more likely he's a young child who was asked to hold more responsibilities, and got accustomed to that, so now he doesn't find it odd he's sometimes treated like a child and other times like an adult...

But because they are literally impossible.

See, Twilight got her cutie mark when she hatched Spike. Rarity got her cutie mark the same day.

If Twilight was 5, and Twilight is now 27, and Rarity is now 23...

Then Rarity got her cutie mark by finding that big gem a year before she was born.

Of course, even though you say she hatched Spike when she was five, your current numbers say she hatched him when she was 7. Which means those numbers totally could add up!

If Rarity was two years old when she was making those pageant costumes.

8059918 ... I did the math wrong.

And yes, Rares could have done such. Ponies grow fairly quick from 1 to 8, and then gradually slow down a mite.

If show ponies age like horses and not humans, why did you bother to make them 20+ years old at all? That makes Rarity Middle Aged! Might as well say she's "10, but that's full adulthood."

But you wanna know what I really dislike about what you're saying?

There is almost no evidence one way or the other in the show. All ages are super vague, except for occasional birthdays and a passing comment about Fluttershy being a year older than Pinkie Pie. It could be they have horse-ages and are adults by 4, or that they're super-long-lived and Granny Smith is hundreds of years old, which is how old you gotta be before you actually look old and every character is 80+ years old.

But you are not saying "they could be this" or "it might be that" or even "the evidence allows for this other headcanon where Sparity is totally alright."

You are saying it like it is properly defined somewhere and this makes you correct, when it really isn't.

Edit: Your last reply does seem less certain, yes. The first reply is the one that was the most frustrating.

8060119 actually, I was going more off the fact that Granny Smith is supposed to be 100+

Though in admittance, a lot of my statement was based on speculation made while not fully coherent. Sorry about that.

Also, politeness. I didn't insult you.


I didn't insult you either, although I guess I could have been less severe about my disagreement.

8060198 and I too apologize. I have been known to take offense easily due to a short temper.


I use the canon age range of the show.


With Equestrian Girls putting an actual age to the age range that Lauren Faust originally used. With ponies growing mature mentally faster than humans (they are taught pre-calculus; astrophysics; and even chemistry at CMC / pony-elementary age.). So what'd be a human teen, for a pony could be able to work / own their own businesses (Seeing as how after they get their Cutie Marks, it's not uncommon for ponies to work (part / full time) in that field.). For years.

And taking that age range into consideration. Spike would have been born around the same time as the CMC (or in that age range +/- a year or two). That's my comment on ages, at least. And I hope that explains at least that part of y'all's debate (I never saw how people say things like the Mane 6 are in their 20's - 40's. When the show's original creator stated their age range, and the new show's director's used that to point to an actual age in said range. (young enough to be relateable to younger audiences, but old enough in humanized-horse ages to be self sufficient.).

There are a couple reasons why Faust's vision of their ages isn't necessarily canon, and at least one why Equestria Girls ages don't necessarily equal pony ages (namely that principal Celestia probably not more than a thousand years old).

And Faust... it's hard to trust her vision when it's been diverted from in many important ways.

But as far as headcanon go it has support.

I always wondered why there's no fanfic "Faust-verse" where everything that Faust thought of as canon was written as canon. Queen Celestia, Mother-of-Spike Celestia. Non-alicorn Cadance. There are probably quite a few more, not counting last year's April fools "canons."


Well yeah. There's lots that Faust wanted that got changed in production. As for EQG - Pony. Well for the adults it's more 'apparent' age rather than actual ones. Since there's noway a human (without magic) could survive for hundreds of years (Granny Smith), nor being (according to their tropes) Physical Goddesses / Immortals (well one of the forms of immortality). So making Granny Smith an elderly lady, and Tia / Luna middle age adults was there for plot convenience / story theme. Much like how time passes between worlds (outside of the time when they are linked via portals) shifts depending on Magic and Plot Convenience.

But for the most part. Where age is concerned, Faust really didn't put an age since it was more maturity levels than physical age (With ponies aging differently than humans used as a justification). But it does seem that at least where the show is concerned that, that is one of the few things that they actually kept (again, mostly since it's a kids show. They kept them at a teenage level, rather than a college one). Mostly that's why I use that age set up. That and the show's creators when asked (well the only one that was asked) used that. Now if the new directors if asked gave a different age than that. That'd be something totally different, but atm. When Twilight went through the portal she came out as a Teen. Rather than coming out older than her counter part.


In fairness, there's been such debate as to their ages that who even knows what's right? Personally, I think of the mane 6 as being late-mid twenties, but honestly? Who knows.


Well until the show's creators clarify. The answer would have to be what was previously mentioned by the show's creator (and was used by the show when making human versions). I mean without those two pieces of evidence, then yeah I can see a debate. But with the show's maker and lead director (then Consultant Director), as well as EQG. Then there's no real debate, since the question has been answered (while she was still part of the show, and it falls in line with what was used when the pony form transformed into a human. If she was older. It'd make no sense for her to be in a younger body. With a double who is younger than her and her doubles (we actually see that Sunset Shimmer entered that world she was CMC age (by comparing body types to tiara's.).

I mean yes. If someone knew a Facebook / Page to ask the shows writers a question, and someone asked. Then that'd clear up the debate, if they changed it. But atm. I use those. Although for the most part, I ignore things like age since for the most part it's not important to most stories. After all not one of the birthday parties had candles (other than RD's Aniversary/B-Day. And even then it wasn't for age, as much as it was for aesthetics for her to fly around on (and I doubt Dash is 42 yrs old (older than the Cakes)). So even the show really doesn't care about / use age for their B-Days.

8062016 EQG also made Spike a dog, but the Diamond Dogs human.


Yes and there's always been talk about Spike abuse, and how he "Sleeps in a dog bed"; and is "treated like a pet" / "lesser than a pony" (especially in the earlier seasons.). All over the web. So ... them making him a dog isn't that far of a stretch.

As for the Diamond Dogs. They are a sentient species, with a society, and were probably thrown in for the same reason Maud Pie was as annoyingly obsessive about rocks (aka. the shows writers were high after snorting lines of sugar off the stomachs of puppies). And are different than dragon's. Which have the reputation of being beasts to begin with. Not really the strongest argument.

8062247 but in fairness, dragons do have a society of sorts. Also, dragons only are seen as beasts because they have the greed and size. Both go after gems.


Actually dragon's are seen as beast because they're form of sport is murdering pheonix eggs, or dominating other dragons to prove who's more powerful. And they don't really have a society. They have a dragon lord much like the Alpha Male of a dog pack. And they go on destructive, unthinking, beastial rampages if their greed goes unchecked. And they're social system is that of a solitary predator, with only going on social packs when migrating or forced to.

And they are more likely to roast you with fire for bugging them, then helping another out. And also they have no social structures. Living in caves, or near lava pools. With no thoughts of society beyond what they can do to guard their own hoard against other dragons / those who'd go after their hoard.

So yeah. Beasts.

Diamond Dogs on the other hand. Have smithing; buildings (in a sense. Yes they carve their homes out of the earth, but they have individual 'rooms' as well as a prison cell system.); they have rules; they have a social structure; the ability to forge / create objects; the ability to think and reason; as well as separate job systems which synergize / bolster their society.

Thus while shown as "sub-human" in EQG. Actually have the makings of social beings. Where as dragons don't. And it could be argued that it's just Spike. Since as aforementioned. He sleeps in a dog bed already in MLPVerse; hasn't been shown all that much (pre-EQG, and even a lot afterwards) as being the equal to the ponies he's around (even the Power Pony episode. Did little to change how he's treated); And as an added insult to injury, even Human 7!'s SciTwi has a dog named Spike (rather than a friend / little brother / what have you. And yes. Spike can be a human baby name.)).

8062339 look, let's just agree that Spike gets treated like shit and be done?


I was just stating the obvious reason as to why he was a dog.

Well that and they probably planned it out for ages if Pinkie Pie's comment to Princess Twilight was anything to go by.

Twilight Sparkle: I'm brand new here.

Pinkie Pie: Oooh! I thought you didn't look familiar. Though, now that I'm really lookin' at you... Do you have a twin sister who lives in the city, has a pet dog named Spike that looks just like that one?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, maybe?
Pinkie Pie: Thought so. Anyhoo, just need to fill this out and you are officially up for the coveted Princess of the Fall Formal crown.

As well as countering the whole "well Diamond Dogs weren't dogs" comment that pops up from EQG comments from time to time. And really boils down too. The writers felt like doing it. So they did it.. Regardless of appropriateness, or logic of the cameo / person being there. Especially since it has nothing to do with the original comment.

Which is. If a show's creator says something on multiple occasions as something being how it is. They show's writer's in turn use said something as it was said. And when we get apparent aged representation of ponies (Adults look adult (to various degrees), youth are youth, teens are teens, etc.). It lines up perfectly with canon (as made by Faust, and furthered by the show's writers). As it was stated by said comment. Then it is what it is.

And what it is. Is. Ponies age much faster mentally and maturity wise than humans. Thus are self sufficient and independent faster than humans would be. As was stated. They are young, but ponies age differently than humans so it was a merger of that, that allowed a young group of individuals that'd connect with the target audience. But be able to be independent to tackle a wider range of theme's and problems (the rest is just plot convenience / whatever they need them to be to make the story work for them at any given time (even if some of the choices were crap / lazy / convoluted / nonsensical writing) / whatever both the writers and talking heads decided something needs to be at any given time.).

8062699 again. Let's just agree that Spike is abused, and leave it at that.


Again. You're ignoring everything else.

So yes. On the Spike bit (which you are missing the actual point. And that is not the point I was making XD. At all. Merely using logic and the show to explain something. But if that's what you are getting out of it. Sure. We can agree to that small, minuscule bit of the debate as to why "Spike is a Dog".).

On the other bits, are you agreeing on my side of the debate. Or are you doing that weird thing that human's do when they're loosing / not agreeing on a debate / comment. Where they focus on one particular part of the debate, and ignoring everything else? Or do the "Let's agree on one thing, which is ignoring the actual comment. So that I don't actually have to succeed the actual points."? Or did you forget the topic of the debate (and the various topics brought up within it?).

8063113 no, I was agreeing with you. Update please?

Obligatory musical reference GO!


Ah. Read it wrong then, my bad. Sorry. As for an update. IRL's been busy, but I'll definitely try to get the next one out a whole lot quicker than this latest one.

Not how you're naming the races you made. I meant in Elder Scrolls.

Lol. Yep there are quite a few Mers. Sadly we only get to play with some of the more boring one's and the good one's died off, were magiced out of physical reality, or were corrupted into monsters.

It'd be pretty awesome to play as some of the lost races outside of mods.

Same question I have about the other fic.

A pity this one is also dead, here's hoping it gets resumed sometime, wanna see how everypony reacts to Canterlot's new location :trollestia:

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