Types of Love

by TheGreatEater

Ponies Are Crazy!

I seriously want to buck in the face whoever invented gravity Celestia thought to herself as she wavered in the air, the exercise of flying for longer than a few seconds winding her as she made her way to the Canterlot Institute of Technology.

While at the same time working through a list of candidates to replace the current Dean. Or at the very least work to fix whatever tribalism existed in her school. Sure it was for the longest time called her school for ‘Gifted Unicorns’. And them turning away ponies of the other tribes was a thing built upon since it’s inception.

But that was mostly built around ignorance and the thoughts of the times being that only unicorns could do magic. With those thoughts having been disproven several centuries prior, it seemed that the rules to spread their horizons never became a thing.

Sure if it wasn’t for Spike, I would’ve ignored it since it wouldn’t have made sense to change things when only .01 percent of the non-unicorn populace can do any type of magic past their racial abilities. And of that small percentage, only a few hoofful a generation try applying. Still for someone to make it in there, do the work, only for them to be insulted for not being a unicorn is beyond stupid.

With the Institute in sight Celestia let herself land and panting from the exertion trotted building. Well at least my Sister is going to have an easier time of things.

After seeing to it that Diamond Tiara was properly attired for her new position as Junior Assistant-In-Training, Luna went to work at overseeing Day Court while her sister worked on the whole Spike issue.

With the chaos from the earlier incident at breakfast and the few rumors she heard of her sister's antics ensured that this was going to be a rather hectic and interesting day at court. Looking at Diamond Tiara as she trotted beside her she gave her a heads up, “Now Diamond Tiara, this is going to be one Tartarus of a day. I just thought that you should know that this is isn’t by any stretch going to be a normal day.”

“Is it going to be better or worse?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“Well … possibly a hundred times more stupider,” Luna sighed, “it’s a sad fact that ponies can be stupid, and when scared, are more stupid than usual.”

“Oh … well alright,” Diamond replied unsurely.

“Sorry if that sounds not really princess-y, but as the once Bearer of Honesty. I think it’s better that you know the truth of things, rather than get your hopes up. Sure the court has seen some interesting things, and at rare times has seen the betterment of society. But mostly it’s filled with petty arguments that could be settled by lower courts, or self entitled ponies trying to drag others down to lift themselves up.

“But on the rare occasions you do see something that rekindle your faith in ponies. Or get somepony who goes to court just to say they met a princess. But with what happened today .... let’s just say it’s better to be on guard for the worst.”

Luna wondered what was going behind Diamond Tiara’s mind as they walked through the halls that grew progressively more chaotic as they neared the court. Her curiosity which was instantly killed when the first pony bothered to talk to them.

It was a rather disheveled looking Earth Pony, whose bright, neon pink mane was as fritzed looking as Twilight during one of her existential crisis moments, “PRINCESS! Oh my Celestia you’re here!”

“Um … yes?” Luna asked, already feeling her left eye start to twitch.

“Is that child going to be your sacrifice to keep you from bringing about the end times?”

“WHAT!?” Luna and Diamond Tiara shouted simultaneously.

“Your sacrifice. You know to keep you and your sister from destroying the world for your own personal pleasure?” The mare responded with utmost sincerity.

“Too … for … I can’t begin to process that comment,” Luna replied.

“Oh Noooz! I’m sorry princess Luna. If my comment made you angrier at all life on the planet I’m more than willing to sacrifice my pets, my husband, and even my third born foal.” The male pegasus beside her nodded in agreement, “I agree. Although maybe not our third born, he’s a little to rambunctious. I think our first born would agree though.”

The foals around them looked at Princess Luna, before shoving the oldest at her, whom turned around and glared at her parents and siblings before huffing, “Fine! It’s not like I had anything better to do. As long as it saves the world, and if I’m going I might as well ask … princess if I trade my dolly collection can they take the place of your other sacrifice? There’s no need to have two foals is there?” She asked.

Diamond Tiara looked at the scene with a dropped jaw and glazed eyes as her brain shut down on what was happening before her. Whereas Luna facehooved with enough force to rattle the foundations of Canterlot and groaned. “Listen, nopony is being sacrificed. And while it is noble of you young one to offer to trade your collection for the life of another. It’d be better if you used your mind rather than jumping to conclusions.”

Taking a deep breath she let out the Royal Canterlot Voice to the rest of the ponies in line, while staring at the family before her, “To recap! There is no sacrificing of ponies, and there is no end times! If you have any further stupid questions relay them to Pony Resources.”

Now Canterlot is a sturdy city. Despite being built precariously on the side of a mountain. Nearly the height of Cloudsdale, during certain times of the year. Had survived Discord, a Changeling Invasion, and the various degrees of mischief, anarchy, and shenanigans a bunch of child age through adolescent mages could get into during their time at Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns, as well as the technological disaster area Canterlot Institute of Technology sometimes was labeled as.

But two Alicorn Leveled facehooves, on top of steady force of a city wide stampede of nervous ponies. As well as Celestia’s attempt at exercise for the first time in centuries. Added with the shout of frustration of an Alicorn was too much for it to handle. Which made Luna groan all the louder as the plateau Canterlot was built on top of broke and slid down the mountain to the avalanche covered grounds below.

“Celestia’s going to be so angry about this,” Luna replied when they finally landed.

“Princess Luna … is this an average day for you and princess Celestia?” Diamond Tiara asked as she clung tightly to Luna’s foreleg.

“In someways more than others,” Luna replied over the crowd as chaos started to reign.

“Wow … ponies are crazy!” Diamond Tiara moaned.

“You have no idea young one. You have no idea.”