Amy here! Luv Minecraft and MLP! Pinkie Pie Rocks! Goal of totally awesome followers: 500! Yeah! I'm that ambitious. Dun care 4 the world! <3 Amy 4ever~
After the events of Secret of My Excess, Rarity finally realise what Spike has been trying to say, she makes her way to the library, to find a worried Twilight looking for a missing Spike. Spike, after recovering from sudden growth and greediness, decides to leave. Now, the mane six must find the missing baby dragon, and for Rarity to Return Her Feelings...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So, after reading this, it had me intrigued and curious. Throughout reading it, it had me hooked on about the disappearance of Spike because of his growth spurt incident, and also the fact that Sparity is one of my favorite shipping pairs
. Overall, it does have a good start on your first story.
Now, there are a few things I want to point out. The first is the writing style. If English is not your native language, that's understandable. Another thing is that each chapter is very short, pretty much just dialogue. If you want your chapters to be longer, try and go into detail. Give some background of the characters, how they feel, describe the backgrounds, and don't be too rushed.
There is one thing that I want to point out in the last chapter, where the CMC come in...
If I were you, I would at least rate the story to 'Mature' (as we all know what he really is doing
)
So far, not a bad story to start out. A few errors here and there, and it's understandable if English is not your strongest language. Here's a page that will surely help you out with your stories in the future. --->> LINK. Other than that, I will keep watch on this story to see how it will go.
4754311 Umm... thanks for the tips I guess. Look, im just doing it for fun. I have no intention to make it well known and stuff. I guess I should change it to teen or something... but anyway. Tks for the support! ; D Amy.
Big thing or big things?
It could do with some longer chapters, but otherwise I like it. That whacking came out of nowhere though...
4755122
I see. My bad
. Other than that, it is a good story, and I like how you made the connection to the episode, Secret of my Excess. I will keep watch of it. 
That lime part was soooooo creepy. I might delete it so it can be an "Everyone" theme. Should I delete it?
4793379 yeah
4793379 No.
Hmm, kind of short...
Hmm, needs more depth, description and expansion of plot...
Needs better punctuation, like quotation marks...
Wait what
4927682 yea what he said
4927682
4927882 Ditto.
It's Like a boat with out a rudder, Where do you want the story to go?
4927682
4927882
4927926
Ok, yeah, for real, what just happened here?
Uh...
Waiter? You forgot to bring me my context.
Hello, well tough short this story is cute story.
If you do it for fun then just write
Don't listen to haters.
Nothing more to add just, keep writing and with time you'll be good.
ANd if you plan to be a serious fanfic writter someday :
check this Writing Guide
poor spike :c
4793379 Teen is best rating.
4941418 I don't understand how this is teen. It does not have sex or gore so why teen?
4942418 I'm not saying it is, I'm just saying that I think that teen is the best rating that you can use when writing.
4946464 oh, i misunderstood. Sry.
This made no sense.
I'd explain why, but I want to keep my comment shorter than your 'story'...
--Spade
misspelled spike
I hated that ending
can you please make it longer, running out of idea ?
bullshit