Existence

by Sir Hat

Dear Sister of The Sun

Dear sister of the sun, we listened.

I know what you wanted.

I understand how the hunger grew.

You started with nothing.

You were given a chance.

You consumed more and more, and yet you still felt hollow.

My name is Spike, and I will remember you.

Twilight's scared to talk about you, Celestia only cries, but I remember.

We only ever want to be, and not to be is torment eternal.

But when we exist, we grow hungry.

When we eat, then we grow.

And as we grow, so too does the hunger grow.

But we are strong.

We overcame our greed, our avarice.

We had eternity offered to us, yet we refused.

We are better than ourselves, we are better than our instincts.

And when we exist no more.

The creeping void will cease.

And we will want no more, for we shall be whole once again.

Comments

[Sir Hat]

4279141
I wanted to make the second to last chapter rather violent, rather angry and destructive, hammering home the whole "Greed only grows" aspect, but I stuck with the world limit instead.

Trust me, if I didn't limit myself...bad things would spill out of my mind....

[YB]

Reading this as quickly as your regular FiM fic doesn't work
I had to ponder every phrase here, almost every single word, for it to work properly
But when it did, oh boy did it work

The style and the atmosphere are excellent. It's just too bad we can't perceive anything from the exterior. Because, you know, the point of view. And what you said here 4279247

I don't know if I'm going to fave it, but you sure deserve your upvotes. Here, have another

I shouldn't play that kind of games at night, though. 3spooky7me

[The Elite Knight]

Sir Hat you beautiful son of a.....
Probably shouldn't say that.....
You've done a great job on this story. It definitely sent chills down my spine as I read each chapter.
You never really think much about Celestia having a dark side.

[Flasherman]

I have no words, but I saw where you got the idea from, and I must say, I am more depressed then creeped by this Lord Hat... You do know how to make a man think....

[Relevant Heavy Metal]

Tool - Third Eye

[Peacekeeper]

dont get how spike found out

[Sir Hat]

4280379
Open for the reader to interpret. How did he find out?

Personally, I think he probably read one of Celestia's letters about what happened.

[Jot Notes]

My guess is that Spike had one of these cancerous beings in him (Possibly during his birthday episode) do he is able to connect with what she is going through. I kind of like how she quickly realizes that her desire for existence is the problem, but it impresses me how a creature like that would have the strength to let go.

[Sir Hat]

4280795
It's not the desire to exist that was ever the issue.

It was that once she existed, she wanted more, and more, and more, until she could see the one thing she would have lost, and that one this was the only thing she ever knew before existing. Her other self.

And the story takes place over an untold amount of time.

Could have been months, could have been hours.

[Sir Hat]

4279659
Son of a what? Bitch, bastard, whore, biscuit, pony, horse?

[lunarstallion]

This is quite possibly the creepiest thing that I have ever read. You, sir, are a fucking master of your craft, and I salute you.

Bravo.

[Sir Hat]

4280893
Eh, it's alright.

[lunarstallion]

4280918 Suit yourself, I liked it.

[Sir Hat]

4280967
Keeping humble man, always keep humble.

[The Elite Knight]

4280845
Well I don't think it really matters. I'll just say son of a.... pony I guess.

[Jot Notes]

4280808 Still, not the kind of thing one should read while sitting alone, playing project Zomboid. Good story, though!

[Clicker]

4281187 img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131112185547/massivecraft/images/7/71/Such_is_life.png

[Sir Hat]

4282075
Glory to Ezi-- aaaaaah, Arstozka!

[Clicker]

4282079 It was a mistake coming here.

[FinalHeresy]

I got it up until this chapter, then you lost me. Is this now spike metaphorically speaking to the tumor/cancer/fetus thing? The line that especially tripped me up was "We had eternity offered to us, yet we refused." From the other sisters perspective I get it but theres a WE so how does spike understand that? Regardless it was an... interesting read, if not disturbing.

[PickleSurprise]

Won't lie I'm confused as hell but I think thats due to my lack of cognitive ability to understand this and also the fact that this isn't something I can read and then have a sudden realization. Though this did confirm a suspicion I had with why Celestia's alter ego gave up. It all felt hollow. She could have become her entirely but none of it would have been hers. They would have loved Celestia not her. They would have been Celestia's achievements not hers. No matter how much of her she consumed, none of it would have been hers....

I love this emotionally deep stuff when I'm not being a wimp about it.

[The Orange Nebula]

4282924 me 2. I cnt hlp bt cri 2 :((((

[Sir Hat]

4282106 Wait...you said you didn't like this story!

What the fuck are you doing here!?

[RainbowBob]

Yo, got a link to that cover art?

[The Orange Nebula]

Judging by the cover art, Celestia's alter personality seems to be a whole lot more fucked up than Luna's.

[Sir Hat]

4284924
The artist had no link outside of Derpibooru, Link to the derp page.

It's by Crookedtrees

[Dark Avenger]

This.

Fucking this.

This kind of stuff is what I crave so much on this site, yet hardly ever find anything satisfactory. It's good to know I'm not the only crazy bastard here that writes insanely dark shit...

The content follows the inspiration a little too closely, often quoting it verbatim. Not to say that's bad, but it's not very subtle either, so as soon as you know where all this came from, it kinda loses its power. Other than that, it is superb. Well done!

(obligatory music drop)

[Sir Hat]

4285958
The whole, I want to exist thing is, yes, very related to the inspiring piece.

But I feel like I made "sister" a bit more needy, it slowly become about more, and more, and more. But I really liked covetous, a bit hard not to quote it.

As per the verbatim. Well it's even harder not to when you're going for minimalism.

[Clicker]

4284323 I had nothing better to do, gave it a read, hated it even more.

[Sir Hat]

4286055
So how long of a ban seems good?

Jackass....
Maybe I'll just scrap bag head.

Too bad, I had a chapter half done.

[Clicker]

4286119

So how long of a ban seems good?

m8 I called the admins faggots to their face and spammed requesting a ban m8

[Night_Shine]

But...what defines existence? Does one need only to be a fragment of a concept in the mind of another to be graced with the blessing of that beautiful word "existence," or must they possess greater qualities than this? A body? A mind? A soul? Perhaps none of these are required to exist; perhaps all of them and a thousand more...[h]e did not know.

Excerpt from Gaze.

Long shadows stretched into a room overflowing with darkness, made evident by the beautiful rays of light spilling in through the open door. Though shadows festered inside, wisps of that black smoke that pours eternally from the dark Void who gave them the gift of existence, they stood before the light not hissing but fading...[t]hese shadows, unlike so many of their brethren, did not fight the inevitable power of Fate enforced by Time; these shadows took up their destinies in a warm embrace, welcoming the unknown force that would bring about their end, knowing that it would bring greater joy into the world than they ever could. The light that would destroy them…welcomed them to their final departure from this life.

Excerpt from Wisp.

It seems that I also love to write stories about a philosophically challenged creature with a very strange perspective. But while I have a heavy-handed style that tends to turn off anyone with walloftextaphobia, you compress your equally deep, if not deeper, ideas into such simple little phrases that the readers cannot help but be intrigued. You are the perfect example of what I should have been, when I once thought myself to become a writer of insightful pony fan-literature. Well done.

[Sir Hat]

4287575
Well...shit.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/3/15/270948__safe_solo_twilight+sparkle_animated_reaction+image_floppy+ears_twilight+snapple_lesson+zero_nervous_ear+flop.gif

[Night_Shine]

4287597 PRECISELY! Your ability to concisely express such concepts transcends my understanding!

...wait, but actually, what the heck was that supposed to mean? I dun geddit

[Sir Hat]

4287626
Provide readers with material, and someone will find depth in it. That's why writers are nothing without readers...?

[Night_Shine]

4287661 Oh yeah, that makes sense. Sorry x3

[Sir Hat]

4287671
Does it?

[Night_Shine]

4287677 Yeah. Initially it seems rather arrogant to me to simply make someone else do all of the philosophical analysis, effectively cutting oneself off from a deeper personal connection to one's own story--especially a story that's intended to intrigue, as is this one. That statement definitely rubbed me the wrong way, because it seemed in my perception to reduce the philosophical core of a story to something that, "because it's subject to opinion, I don't have to care about it." Actually, it seems more like a writer is dependent on readers in order to inject that core into the story, as opposed to writers needing readers in order to perceive that core.

...but since I've taken into account that my view is wrong, I had to think that over again. I suppose that readers like to analyze too...maybe I should stop taking their job! xP Maybe another reason my perception was wrong is because my bad mood is skewing my perception of your thought process. Sorry 'bout that.

[Sir Hat]

4287749
Not what I meant.

Each reader will have a different reaction, and that's how it's supposed to work.

Some might line up, some might not.

It's called, thought provoking.

[Night_Shine]

4287751 All right, that makes more sense. Sorry again for the confusion

[Ferote]

4286684 uhhh, oh yeah, that's a thing.

[Ferote]

then we eat, and then we grow.

[Ferote]

Listening to nine inch nails' becoming really brings out the dark undertones of this piece.

[Ferote]

4288096 in fact, this is sort of like the downward spiral in general, if the void lost.

[Tower of 0]

Intetesting....... very intetesting.

[Alondro]

Is this one of those weird creepypasta things that's supposed to mean something?

[Sir Hat]

4289262
Nope.

And that's just a bit rude, ya no good sloppy dildo.

[Alondro]

4287575 That piece of yours about the shadows is a wonderful example of symbolic anthropomorphism.

It's how one takes something simple like a description of shadows fading in the light and turns it into powerful prose.

[Alondro]

4285066 There is a serious problem with this 'inner personality'... in that it bears no resemblance at all to Celestia nor does it represent her antithesis.

Luna's dark side was based upon her jealousy and longing for attention. Whether or not the dark power was granted by an outside agency or possessing demon, Luna's own thoughts led her down the dark path.

What spawns this in Celestia? What was the in-world basis for this odd desire to 'exist'? It always feels like a foreign contaminant, never something which is native to Celestia's psychological inner workings.

Hence, it's something entirely different from Luna's experience. This is more of a parasitic semi-intellect growing within Celestia than an actual aspect of her own nature.