• Member Since 16th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 29th, 2017

Alan Smithee


In a world of peace, magic and harmony, a flawed human presence may not seem necessary. When Simon returns from outer space to find his world inhabited by creatures with an almost innate perfection, he certainly suspects this to be true. As Simon discovers and documents the fate of his species, and learns how Equestria was built on the ruins of man, he fears that he will prove himself irrelevant. But things are not always what they seem, and the life of the last human may still have meaning.

New cover art by jjames10. Much thanks to him for his excellent work. Original cover art here.

Originally intended to be one scene set in one room in which the question, "Why would a human need to be in Equestria?" was answered, my theory to address the question has expanded to the scale of a small epic. I hope it works.

A lot of the concepts and facts introduced here are so vast and academic, they really can't be expressed in dialogue. Instead a number of scenes are in "written document" format to give the reader a thorough information-dump. This is a world-building fic.

I also omit a lot of the Slice-of-life, getting-to-know-you scenes you see a lot in HiE because the focus is on concepts rather than actions.

I wish to achieve the following with this fanfiction:
Create a character whose strengths and weaknesses are clear, or become clear as the story progresses.
Give the human character a compelling reason to be in Equestria based on an interpretation of the themes of the show.
Present a theory about the character of Twilight Sparkle and her intended role in the future of Equestria
Accurately portray existing characters from the show

Sources of Inspiration (This will be very long, some sources will be missed):
"The Stars Will Aid in Her Escape (Cosmic Love)" - PMV by mmmandarinorange
"Rorschach in Equestria" by Ex-Nihilos
"The Planet of the Apes" (1968)
"Slaughterhouse-Five" by Kurt Vonnegut
"World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War" by Max Brooks (Stylistic influence)
"The Stand" by Stephen King
"Pet Sematary" by Stephen King
"Moon" (2009)
"The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway (Stylistic Influence)
"The Wizard of Oz" (1939)
"King and Lionheart", song and music video by Of Monsters and Men
For some inexplicable reason, this song.
My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic, created by Lauren Faust, property of Hasbro, Inc.

Sources that DID NOT inspire this work:
Arrow 18 Mission Logs: Lone Ranger by Admiraltigerclaw

Feel free to take this premise and make it better.

I feel that this story is either going to be my "Citizen Kane" or my "Plan 9 from Outer Space". Either way it's my masterpiece.

This story is dedicated to Abby, my dog of 14 years who passed away on February 26, 2013

Chapters (23)
Comments ( 310 )


Well , that is certainly a good idea for a story...

+1, Fav

I remember when you were posting a thread about this story! I will have to read this later, but I can't wait to see how your idea has progressed and grown!:twilightsmile:

Awesome, it's out! Here, have a like and fav :twilightsmile:

This is a good story. +1 Like, +1 Favourite = +1 Follow

You have caught my intrest, do keep it up! :twilightsmile:

Ugh. That last bit made me tear up.

I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

This... Holy shit...

Your story needs to continue. Write, type, do whatever it takes to finish this. I have a feeling this will be great.

I certainly wanna read more of this.
Keep going.

That's precisely why I was shocked there wasn't already one like this.
I'm so vain, I've actually saved that thread onto my computer. For posterity.
I'll see your like-and-fave and raise you a prime number : 69727733. Use it well.
No way. No way did I make a person older than 18 months cry. I don't believe it. WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME SUCH SWEET LIES?
I've had this idea trying to pound out of my cranium for months. I've had an eerie feeling it could be great, too. It's quite the relief that someone agrees with that part of my brain

This stream of comments is making me so happy right now...

2020715 What? No. I didn't cry. I- I just had something in my eye.

Shut up.

And how did you know I was over eighteen months old? Are you a spy?!

i like where this is going :pinkiehappy: keep up the good work!

i came, i saw, i faved

This is going to be a bold endeavor in literature. I just know this is going to turn out epic! I hope this hits featured box!

this is a fantastic start. keep it up, bro!


I can't believe I wrote this chapter and didn't once think of Rocket Man by Elton John.
There's gotta be something wrong with me.

...Damn. MOAR :flutterrage:

Yeah. So...
Keats reviewed an earlier draft of this chapter, and gave some notes on how to improve it, all of which I kept in mind while writing this.
But he didn't see this draft before I published it.
If there are any problems with the quality of this chapter, I apologize, and I promise I will make better use of my editor in the future.

Poor Simon :fluttershysad:
Hopefully his throat can be healed by magic once he's back on Earth/Equestria.


That sucks.

Hopefully Simon's luck improves a little.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Hooah! The season finale came and went, and I'm pleased to announce that "Last" will in no way violate canon!

Northern UK = Crystal Empire?
Southern UK = Equestria?

Well, it seems my good-luck wishes for Simon were thrown right out the bucking window.

Still, this is interesting and always getting better. As ever, looking forward to future updates.

And nice bit with the Pinkie-sense. I don't think I've seen it used that way before.

You didn't wish hard enough. Maybe next time.

I'm glad to hear you're rooting for Simon. It means I'm doing something right :yay:

Southern UK = PART of Equestria. That's all I want to confirm right now.

I'm working on a map which I'll put up somewhere around here.

Damn. I'm really sorry you're confused :pinkiesad2:

The boutique scene takes place BEFORE Season 1, Episode 1. I tried to write the scene so that it would be obvious to the reader. Obviously it didn't work. :facehoof:

Well, it's all in chronological order from here on. So this little blunder was definitely a one-time thing.

That Icarus thing...that was smart
+1 Like

Sorry for the wait.
This was an incredibly difficult chapter to write.
It went through 3 style changes, and about 15 drafts.
The next chapter is underway.
I hope you enjoy it.

Wow can't wait till Simon meets the mane 6

Now this took a long time, but I'm quite interested how this will go.

It's updated? Wonderful! I can't wait for more of this story.

Yeah. I think I've just about pushed the limit for how long a story can go before the all-important first meeting can happen.

Today I saw a thread where the consensus was that 5 chapters before human meets pony is absolutely unacceptable.

I guess this story is an exception.
You'll get your wish next chapter!

Comment posted by Alan Smithee deleted Apr 1st, 2013


So much April Fools stuff on this site.

I think I win for most half-assed though.

Part Two ought to be out by Monday


I hate being left hanging like that.

Never thought I'd be excited for Monday.

Be happy! Simon has finally met a pony! It's what you've been waiting for, no?
Simon's luck has got to improve a little, right?

2382502 I'd hope so.
Being the victim of a forest fire is about as unlucky as you can get. I'd imagine he's going to be one of the first people in writing history to actually run out of bad luck.

Meeting Twilight Sparkle is about as lucky as you can get, though :twilightsmile:

I think don't like Simon as much as you do, and that's why I've tortured him so much :pinkiecrazy:

2382571 If you knew what I did to my favorite writing characters...

If fictions really do represent other universes, then I should be spending every waking moment in a confession booth.

This is kinda late, but I just noticed something.

How does Twilight have a book on anthropology when anthropology is the science of humanity?

The author made a stupid mistake.
Rest assured the author feels horrible about it.
The story must be shut down for repair. We apologize for the inconvenience.
"Anthropology" has been changed to "Music"

Ah. Cliffhanger. We meet once again.
Great, looking forward to seeing this bloom.

I'm glad to see you're still enjoying it!
Your first comment had me a little anxious about not being able to live up to your expectations.

Next up: everypony in Ponyville freaks out over Simon

I was gonna have Ponyville explode the moment he walked into it, but I might go with some variation on your idea instead.

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