• Published 10th Jan 2014
  • 4,356 Views, 36 Comments

Wonderful - Bootsy Slickmane



Ditzy Doo will make some new friends and have a wonderful day.

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Wonderful

Someday, Ditzy Doo will wake up and find that she's all out of food. She will go to the marketplace in Ponyville and stop at a flower stand for a quick snack. She will smile at the cream-colored mare behind the counter and go, "Hi, Rose!"

And Rose will go, "Hello, Ditzy. Would you like some flowers today?"

Then Ditzy will say, "No, I want some yesterday." Then they will laugh. Ditzy will get out her purse to pay for the flowers, but Rose will stop her.

"It's okay, Ditzy. You're such a wonderful customer that these flowers are on the house today."

"On whose house?" Ditzy will ask, looking around at the rooftops. Then they will laugh again.

"Oh, Ditzy, you're so funny," Rose will say. "Hey, would you like to come to a picnic with me and my friends this afternoon?"

Ditzy will smile and nod. "That sounds great, Rose. Thank you." Then Ditzy will finish her shopping with a smile on her face instead of a frown.

After the sun has passed its peak in the sky, Ditzy will leave her home again and go to the park where Rose said to meet her. Rose will be there waiting for Ditzy like she said she would, because Rose is a good pony. Rose will lead Ditzy to their picnic spot. There will be a big blanket and a basket or two with food inside.

Rose will introduce Ditzy to her friends. "Hello, Ditzy. It's nice to meet you," they will all say.

"It's nice to meet you too, everypony." And it will be true, because Ditzy loves meeting new ponies when they are nice, and these ponies will be nice.

"So, what's your favorite kind of food?" they will ask as everypony settles onto the blanket.

Ditzy will be happy to tell them about herself, since she doesn't get to do it very often. "I like daises, and lettuce, and carrots, but most of all, I love muffins. Unless they're made by a bad baker; then they'd be 'baddins.'"

Everypony will laugh with Ditzy. "Oh, she's so funny. Thanks for introducing us to her, Rose," one will remark.

"Oh, it's no trouble at all. I knew that you would just love Ditzy," Rose will say. Then she will turn to Ditzy with a sweet smile. "Ditzy, would you like to be our friend?" she will ask.

Ditzy will smile right back. "Of course!" she will squeal. Then all the nice ponies will hug Ditzy and tell her that they are her friends. Ditzy might cry, but it would be okay this time because she is happy.

Ditzy and her new friends will spend the day together and have more fun. They will eat the food in the baskets and then go for a walk in the park that they had their picnic in. They will talk about things like their families and their jobs.

Ditzy will tell them about how she delivers the mail to everypony in town, even when it's raining, snowing, or even hailing. Ditzy's new friends will praise her for her efforts to always make sure that everypony gets their mail, thanking her for delivering important letters and packages all over Ponyville. Ditzy will tell them that she doesn't always deliver the right mail to the right ponies, and that sometimes she gets yelled at because of her mistakes, but her friends will tell her that it's okay. They will say that everypony makes mistakes.

"Nopony's perfect," one will say.

"Yeah, it's no big deal," another will add.

"Thank you for understanding," Ditzy will say.

"Of course we understand; we're your friends." Then they will hug Ditzy again and make her feel better about her mistakes.

After walking in the park, they will all go to Sugarcube Corner because they will get hungry. Ditzy will buy everypony one of her favorite muffins so they can taste how wonderful they are, and she won't drop any when she's carrying them. Her friends will taste the muffins and thank Ditzy for her generosity. Ditzy and her friends will talk some more and have fun.

But then the bullies will come, because they always come when Ditzy is having fun and feeling happy. Ditzy will probably have forgotten about them because she will be so happy with her new friends, and they will remind her that not everypony is nice. They will call Ditzy names and make fun of her like they always do.

"Hey, it's Derpy, the town klutz!" one will say. "Why do you think she's so clumsy? You think it's the eyes, or because she's so stupid?"

"I think I'd go with 'stupid,'" another bully will say. "She's so stupid, she makes that idiot Snails look like Bill Neigh."

"I dunno, I think it might be the eyes. I'll bet she can't fly straight because she looks at the sky when she's trying to see the ground."

"Whatever it is, those eyes make her look uglier than a timberwolf, eh guys?"

Ditzy will probably cry, and the bullies will probably laugh at her because that's what they always do when she cries. But then Ditzy's friends will tell the bullies to go away, and call them mean names to make them cry.

"You're not stupid, Ditzy," her friends will say.

"And you're not ugly, either," another one will tell her. "You're beautiful and wonderful just the way you are."

Ditzy will thank her friends for standing up for her when nopony else ever does, and for loving her just the way she is. They will hug Ditzy and tell her that it's what friends do, and buy her one of her favorite muffins to cheer her up. Ditzy will feel better, not just because of the muffin, but because she has friends who love her and like to make her happy.

Ditzy Doo will go home after her friends promise to spend more time with her the next day. And they will, because they are her friends. Ditzy will go to bed like she always does, but she won't cry this time. She will fall asleep with a smile on her face, because Ditzy will have friends and everything will be wonderful.

Someday.

Comments ( 36 )

Huh. This is weird. I don't get why on Equestria this story is using a future tense because- oh. Dam you feels.

D'aaww, this is a cute little story :rainbowkiss:I enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

That was lovely: gently bittersweet and one of the (very) few really nice future-tense stories I've read recently. Have a favourite.

I kind of saw the end, coming, but... still, precision strike right to the heart...! :applecry:
mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Glee1.gif
Simple, but very effective and well-written idea. Have a thumb up and a fave from me; you earned it! :pinkiesad2:

Knowing where this is going did nothing to inure me to the effects. Sweet and hopeful and oh-so-sad... It cruelly pounces on my love for the cross-eyed mare.

It's all going on its merry little way. Everything is perfectly fine, and fun, and adorable, and absolutely nothing could go wrong.

And then the last word comes and you're smashed upside the head with the feels equivalent of a speeding semi truck.






In other words, I liked this. It's beautifully simple and bittersweet, and you got my poor little heart in a way which I probably should have expected but didn't. Good job.:twilightsmile:

"Oh, it's no trouble at all. I knew that nice ponies like you would just love Ditzy," Rose will say.

I got disconnected from potential future feels at that point. Cute story. Yes, I'm aware its made to be obvious future tense all in her head, way of thinking, but the dialogue here just felt so unnatural. Though it could just be the high levels of apathy I've been feeling this past week due to depression, or that I can't really relate to this type of bully story.

I still liked it, it just had no emotional connection with it. Which, I should, bullying is bad, but maybe it's just hard for me to picture Derpy as a sad abused pony. Or probably since the future tense thing has been done a few times. I'm rambling now, but there is one sad Derpy story I can recall I'd like to share, when I find it. It's told in small small chapters. But its the last Sad Derpy story I recall being connected to.

Apologies for the babbling. It really is a nice story, seriously. I'm just more dead on the inside then most so immersion is important for me and I was simply unable to connect with this story on an emotional level.

whelp, I thought the fic was an unknown since I couldn't for the life of me recall who wrote it, but this is certainly worth your time if you like sad Derpy stories. I think I've only really enjoyed 3 or 4, counting this one http://www.fimfiction.net/story/86538/pieces-of-a-grey-cloud

3767027
Well, hello there.

3767107
Why, thank you kindly.

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Thank you very much. I'll admit that this was a little painful to write at times, and I'm glad to see the effort wasn't wasted.

3769833
I was wondering if anyone would bring that up. You're absolutely right, the dialog is totally unnatural. Sorry if it took you out of the reading experience, but I did that on purpose because the whole thing is just the wishful fantasy of a less-than-brilliant character. The only dialog I tried to make feel natural was that of the bullies, since Derpy wouldn't have to make that up. In fact, every aspect of this story was deliberate (unless I missed some typos). But this is why I didn't put a sad tag on it, as not everyone will find it to be that sad. Plus, future tense is kinda weird.

The first fanfic I ever read was a sad Derpy story (Bubbles). After reading that, I never looked at the walleyed pegasus in the same way again.

As a side note, I had a look at Pieces of a Grey Cloud, and, well, uh... I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's well done, but... I just don't know. Kinda made me feel hollow and unsatisfied. Anyway, thanks for giving this little story a read, as well as for the input and the recommendation.

3770053 Bubbles was nice. That was my first Sad fic after Out in The Cold I ever read that got me reading fanfics along with stuff like Luna's Goodwill Tour which forever shall remain incomplete. /sadface

The one I linked you just goes out of its way to stir sympathy. Didn't do it for me till the cat got sick, I had a kitten of my own. How it doesn't fall through clouds was eh. But it tried to tell it as if it was Derpy, sorta like yours so I thought you'd appreciate it more. Last one I read that I connected to. But aside from a like it never earned a fav. You read the story to its end so I'm sure you know why.

For me, I have to say the one where Derpy has to deal with not being able to be Dinky's Mom anymore due to growing concerns was possibly one of the nicest stories with Dinky I can recall that had actual feels. But if one wants a nice story with a moral that one Derpy and Rarity story to which I wish was on fimfic is one of my favs.

Nopony wants to take her in and others just don't have the space. Till Rarity breaks after seeing how literally nopony was gonna take her in. Derpy had burned her home down, and so Mayor Mare (who needs more fics) got everypony into the Townhall to discuss the events.

Anywho, I totally acknowledge your story as fine as is. It was just that singular line that sounded like stuff you used to say after dialogues is all.

God, I wish EQD had a way to sort out fics by year. Still some oldies I yet to catch up on. Though a few good ones are now dead somehow as they were deleted or as many have before, discontinued.

And apologies for the gallons of spoilers. I just didn't want that comment spoiling the story for passer-bys.

3770338
Yeah, I always thought that it was a nice touch when a Derpy story was written in a simple or even broken fashion, as though crafted by the character herself. I'd never attempting anything like this story before, so I still consider it a bit experimental. Pieces of a Grey Cloud didn't really stir anything in me until she picked up a knife. I sorta saw that thing coming when she had thoughts about breaking her own wings and what it would be like to crash and fall, but I had forgotten all about the gore tag by that point. The ending just left me feeling empty, and I didn't really connect with it much. I felt really sorry for her, though.

I'll have to look up more such stories, as those that you mentioned sound interesting. And, now that you put it like that, perhaps that particular line could use some tweaking. I see what you mean, now. I'll just make a quick adjustment so it's less weird.

No need to apologize for the massive spoiler blocks. I actually appreciate it. I mean, this story is built in such a way that I couldn't even write a good description without spoiling things about it.

I suppose I should leave a review here. I read this story about 30 minutes after it went up, and I simply find myself unable to gather my thoughts on it. It's a good story with a good concept and well-executed, but I dunno, maybe it's the implication that Derpy is in some sort of "Depression" that throws me off. If there's one word a person can use to describe Derpy (her only canon name so far), "Depressed" is not it. She actually looks pretty happy at pretty much all times.

Now that I think about it I think that's what's bugging me most. It's simply anti-canon, assuming something that there's no evidence of and doesn't seem to be the case anywhere in the series itself, like if you out of the blue had Rainbow Dash reveal hidden feelings for one of the other mane six. Even if you think RD is a lesbian, there's no evidence of hidden feelings for any of them anywhere (Daring Do would be another story), so it has no real ground to stand on and ends up just being a convenient excuse for personal wish-fulfillment.

It was a good story. Great, even. But I feel like there could have been some sort of "trigger" in it somewhere to cause Derpy's depression instead of forcing the reader to simply assume that it's a preexisting condition because she's hounded and harassed by everyone else in Ponyville (which in itself is a difficult situation to imagine).

3782939
All valid points. I'm not even going to get started on the issue of her name, partly because I could write an essay on the subject and because it's really only an issue within some people's heads. Though, considering the fact that the character portrayed here isn't representative of the canon, perhaps it was best that I went with "Ditzy."

Indeed, this whole story is based almost entirely on fan interpretations and ideas. Honestly, there's not much to work with regarding this character in canon. She's accident prone, seems obliviously happy most of the time, and apparently sounds like a dude (at least at first release), but that's pretty much all we get. Maybe we'll get an episode about her one day so we can actually find out who she is in canon.

As for the bullying, I don't really know about how likely it is. We've seen Fluttershy get pushed around, and she seems to have more going for her than Derpy. I think this would have to qualify as an alternative interpretation of her character, possibly bordering on alternate universe territory. I really can't make any sort of defense of that aspect of this work because you're totally right about it not fitting with the canon. Just the kind of story it is, I suppose.

As for a trigger for her sorry state, I, uh, don't really know what such might be. It wouldn't be hard to work in a reference to some sort of broken home history or something bad that happened to her, but I would worry about it coming off as just a bid for extra sympathy. I'll give it some thought, though, and perhaps I'll make some adjustments in the future. This whole story is new territory for me as a writer, and I'm just glad it turned out as well as it did. Thanks for the feedback.

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By "trigger" I don't mean a tragic history, I mean a more immediate trigger. Like something happens in the immediate past to make her feel this way, like perhaps getting fired for being clumsy or losing one of the friends she has, something that would shake up her life and make her feel exceptionally down on herself.

I'm not saying you have to, of course. Just clarifying what I meant when I said that.

3787636
Ah, yes, I see what you mean. I'm even less sure about it in that case, though. This is because, in fact, the idea was that she's generally depressed because she's gotten harrassed regularly and has had no real friends, likely for most of her life. The assumption you mentioned earlier is dead on. Hence the unrealistic fantasy she has about something as simple as getting some friends, which is something most people with friends probably take for granted. Of course, many things about Derpy in this story are only implied, which was intentional.

I still might make some adjustments, though. I'll keep it in mind and review this work a few more times.

This is somewhere between Type 2 and Type 3 on the Derpy scale. Maybe a pinch of Type 4. But it's told from a positive point of view, and it's that "can-do" attitude that Ditzy has that make her such a joy to read here. The type that when Twilight Sparkle realizes that she might have just insulted her and says "no offense," she shrugs, and her face beams a silent "none taken" as a reply (to use an example from the latest episode).
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/363/d/4/clapping_derpy_hooves_icon_by_shroomehtehponeh-d5pm8c9.gif

So, I was thinking about this song for about the latter half of the story.

I enjoyed it. Well done.

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Wow, that's, like, pretty fitting (from a certain perspective). A good-sounding song, too. Thanks.

3815233
Seems about right, yeah. And thanks.

I.........You......you bastards..........:fluttercry:

*puts on bane mask while crying*
"Make derpy cry...you have my permission to die":twilightangry2:


Damn good job....I want to kill those bullies......

3868908
Thank you. So far, this is one of my few attempts at provoking negative emotions from the reader rather than positive (anger or sadness rather than laughter or sugary d'awwness). With this story being rather experimental for me in many ways, I'm quite pleased to see anyone who got the intended effects. Glad you liked it.

I was deceived. I saw no Sad tag here.

Wonderful story, though. Sadfic usually doesn't do it for me, but this one did, even if I did see it coming.

3878974
Sorry about that. I didn't have a sad tag because I knew that not everyone would find it sad. Some have apparently found it upbeat and happy. You're right, though. Sad was the point of me writing this. I'll add a sad tag. Thanks. I probably found it the saddest when I was writing, because I knew exactly what was going on from the start.

I have never read a story where nothing sad actually happens that made me this sad.

That's the sadfic done right...

4843524
Thanks. This one was painful to write. That might've been a sign that I was on the right track

I love the way this is written. Mostly in that, for most of it, the reader is wondering, "Why is this written in future tense, of all things?" And then, in one final word, the weight of "will"s comes crashing down in the realization.

I want to hug her now. But then, if I were to make a list of ponies I'd want to hug...

Strangely enough, this was really uplifting. It had some sad moments but the ending was really positive like all this really would happen some day. Another great example of why FIMFiction needs a "hope" tag

5554786
I initially left the "sad" tag out, but it became clear that enough people found it sad for me to warrant adding it. All depends on your perspective, I suppose. I personally found it soul-crushingly depressing to write. But I'm still recovering from my days as a black-hearted cynic.

I liked this story it was sad yet uplifting.

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later Reviews #60.

My review can be found here.

Geez, I never thought a single word could feel like a punch to the gut.

5555404
i get it so she is imagining having friends or the friends she mentioned are just figments of her imagination

Okay, wow. Until now I didn't even know that the future tense was an option to write a story in, but now I'm inspired to write something like this. I never thought one word could hit so hard. One question, though- is the 'someday' at the end just saying that it will happen someday and Ditzy will be happy someday, or is it meant to be implying that this won't actually happen and it's all in Ditzy's head?

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It's all in Ditzy's head, but that doesn't necessarily mean it won't still happen. It might happen. Someday.

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