• Member Since 18th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Pump It Up

Dead, but also undead. It's complicated.


It has been more than five hundred years since Twilight first arrived by chariot on that life-changing day, and Princess Twilight Sparkle still resides in Ponyville at the Golden Oaks library. But with the deaths of her closest friends still weighing down on her, she makes a decision that not only affects her life, but the ponies around her.

Marked teen due to thematic elements.

Edited by retroman000 and Espeon_in_the_Morning and pre-read by Unoriginal and FLUTTERSHY2424.
Cover image by Neko-me. Previous cover art by AppleAlba.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 39 )
Comment posted by Kapuchu deleted Feb 9th, 2014

Okie doke. Fixed.

Goodie ^^ I'll delete my previous comment so as to avoid spoilers completely :derpytongue2:

normally i would stay away from these types of stories, but this one.

Comment posted by The Orthodox Priesthood deleted Mar 10th, 2014
Comment posted by Pump It Up deleted Mar 10th, 2014
Comment posted by The Orthodox Priesthood deleted Mar 10th, 2014
Comment posted by Pump It Up deleted Mar 10th, 2014

Glad to see that the story's up! :yay:
I've found the perfect picture you could use instead of the one you have now, but I think you'd have to ask the artist for use of it. It's a collaboration between two people, so that may complicate the process.

Tbh, I never asked for this one either. :twilightsheepish: I'd have to make a dA account, and I don't want to do that. But I credited the person, so that counts for something (right?).

Wow. This is really good. I hope nobody takes it the wrong way when I say that I love to read stories dealing with this type of stuff.

I could just ask for you, if you want. Wouldn't be too much hassle, and it's certainly better than the picture you have up now, although I suppose the actual content matters more than the cover art. :twilightsmile:


I fear that it might be misleading. Plus, I was looking for a sad Twilight. I guess what I really wanted was a picture of her crying, but I didn't think of it 'til now.

I'm liking this story, but saddened by Twilight doing this not only to herself, but to Equestria, the princesses, and most importantly the one who supposed to be her friend and little brother, Spike. :fluttercry: So I guess to her, Spike isn't a friend, because she wants to commit suicide to be with her other friends, and Spike is just a dragon and can take care of himself. :fluttershysad: I hope some pony or Spike comes back in time before she loses all her blood. :twilightoops: Right now, she is being extremely selfish, and my heart is breaking for Spike although he doesn't know what is going on.

Woah, interested now.:twilightblush:

Alrighty. I asked them, and they said it was fine as long as you credited them by linking to their page in the description. :twilightsmile:

Dang it, Pump it Up, stop giving me the feels!

Ooh, I never get tired of these stories. But then I got to reading it...
charlesfloate.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/right-in-the-feels.jpg :pinkiecrazy:

Damit feels why do you make fell so sad :fluttercry::raritycry:

Comments deleted because they were about a previous cover art, and therefore no longer needed. Also to avoid confusion. (This excludes Kapuchu's comment, which was deleted by him/her.)

*sniff sniff* WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAA!:raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

This was good... though I usually don't want to read these kinds of stories, but eh it just tempts me to read it anyway

Like this one - http://www.fimfiction.net/story/95424/mortal

Thank you for the review! I will go back over it again; I was planning to anyways, because I'm thinking of sumbitting this to EqD. Thank you again! :pinkiehappy:

Yep! I won't be able to see it until tomorrow, however, because my mobile is being stupid and may have to be replaced, so I won't have it with me tomorrow. :ajbemused:


I believe this song fits just fine. And this does spark the timeless question; Who wants to life forever anyway?

That was very deep. A deep, dark story of loss and immortality. Well done, good sir.

I'm rereading this now, and i'm enjoying it. However, I do wish you gave a bit more explanation as to what led Twilight to her decision. I know it was explained, but it felt like you merely skimmed over it and it felt very rushed and telly. It's really up to you, but I think it would make a bit more sense if you had her explain a bit more and showed it.

Like Lee Harvey Oswald's arraignment: Short and sweet.

I felt Twilight's reaction in the time following the attempt was too... mellow.

I'm not saying that she should be despondent, teary, suddenly embracing life from her brush against death, or falling into unspeaking depression. But it felt like the thought of suicide had just disappeared after she woke up in the hospital. It... doesn't work like that.

I've tried to commit suicide before (please note that there are several years of therapy and thousands of pills between then and now). Knowing that people love you and realizing just how greatly your death would hurt them is a strong motivation to continue living, but it doesn't dispel the aching emptiness that drives one to seek death. You still think about it, obsess about it, and run over the reasons why you should again and again in your head. You argue against yourself, at times trying to talk yourself out of living and at others pulling out everything you can to drown out the desire to die.

Even knowing how much what she did hurt Spike, she can still argue to herself that he would still have Celestia and Cadance, and that if he could endure losing Rarity he could survive her. She could wonder how much her own death would hurt Cadance when she managed to survive Shining Armor (even Cadance's own suicide attempt becomes less of an obstacle to this kind of thought when one considers a continued immortal life to be something so terrible that it requires death to escape).

How shameful a daughter would she be, that she would continue to live for a motherly figure when she lacked even the care to join her true mother in death? How terrible a sister was she, that she would abandon her brother by blood to keep company to a pony and dragon who had become as siblings to her? Before attempting suicide, and in the sometimes even more painful times that follow it, living isn't only something that causes pain. It is something that somehow makes you lesser, something that is shameful, to the point that dying doesn't only become an escape but something that you should do, as choosing to remain alive becomes an act of unforgivable selfishness.

A network of immortals who continue living due to the support of one another, who survive their pains with the love of one another, who find meaning in existence in the continued survival of one another; a family that endures the agony of watching loved ones die by the knowledge of what their own death would take from those still with them; this is something that is present in the story, but not directly acknowledged enough to see the role it plays in Twilight's decision to stay alive.

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