“Well, Twilight, turns out you’re well enough to leave!” Dr. Apple Aday said cheerfully.
It had been a couple of days since her talk with Cadence. She had decided, similar to Cadence, to leave a scar on her neck; however, it wasn’t noticeable if you just glanced at it. Twilight would rather not wear any more jewelry than necessary.
“Now I can get back to work.” She glanced up at Spike, who was standing beside her. “And spend time with those I care about.”
When the two got home, Twilight went straight to her room, and Spike went to his house. Twilight pulled out a traveling chest and started filling it.
It didn’t take long for her to fill it up and go over to Spike’s house. She found him in his greeting area.
“Spike, I’m going to Canterlot for a few weeks.”
He frowned. “So soon?”
“Yes. I need to talk to Tia and Luna about… You know.”
“I understand.” Spike gave the alicorn a hug. “Be careful.”
Twilight broke away. “I will.”
◊◊◊◊◊
Twilight had decided to take the train instead of a chariot or flying; Dr. Apple Aday had recommended no high-altitude activities for a month or two. It took some convincing for the ticket pony to let her pay for the train ticket and be in coach. As it was, ponies would constantly come up and talk to her.
You will never truly get used to it, Celestia had once said.
It was just after Twilight’s coronation and coronation party; all her friends had gone to bed, and Luna was attending to her duties. Celestia and Twilight had stayed up talking.
Celestia had looked relieved, and Twilight attributed that to the fact that she didn’t have to put on a façade for anypony. Twilight was assured of this because of what Celestia said—
“You never truly get used to it,” Twilight said, echoing her memory.
◊◊◊◊◊
When Twilight arrived at Canterlot, she went straight to the castle—at least, as straight as one can when one is royalty. All in all, it made what should have been a forty-five minute journey into a one-and-a-half hour ordeal.
She trotted up the steps to the entrance. The guards posted at the door saluted, and nodded up to the ones above to open the gate, revealing Celestia, whose mane seemed a little more limp and whose eyes seemed baggy.
“Tia!” Twilight cried, racing towards the white alicorn and giving her a hug. Celestia gave her a short hug back.
“I heard about what you did,” she said.
“I’m sorry. I promise I’ll never, ever do that again!”
“Do you know how much I— everypony would have missed you?”
“Yes. Tia, could I talk to you?” asked Twilight.
“About what?”
“About… how you’ve coped.”
Celestia’s muscles tightened slightly. “I have much work to do right now,” she said quickly. “Maybe later.”
“O-okay,” Twilight said.
“How long will you be staying?” Celestia asked cordially.
“Maybe a week?”
“Why don’t you sleep in Luna’s wing?” The way she said it was more like a command than a question. “I must be going.” Celestia turned sharply and walked away.
Now Twilight was even more confused. Why in Luna’s wing of the castle? I’m always in Celestia’s. The lavender mare turned and looked at the sky, the warm colors percolating into the earth.
Luna is probably up!
Twilight walked to where Luna held the night court and peeked into the large room. No pony was there except for the princess of the night, sitting on her ebony throne. Twilight tentatively walked in.
“You may enter,” Luna said authoritatively. She looked up from the floor. “Twilight!” she said, her tone more friendly. “Come come. What would you like to talk about?”
Twilight came up to the throne. “Well, I wanted to talk about how you’ve coped with… the passing of friends. I mean,” Twilight said quickly, “You and Tia have gone through so many, so you’re used to it by now. Right?”
There was a lengthy pause as Twilight grinned awkwardly.
“We have not.”
Twilight’s grin slipped off her face, and she hung her head. “I’m sorry I assumed.”
“It is alright. I know not what Celestia has told you, but part of the reason that I became Nightmare Moon was because of my friends.
“Along with eternal night, the monster offered me the chance to bring my friends back, knowing that it would help with my lack of attention and appreciation. I know now that it probably would have killed me eventually or brought back only a semblance of my friends, but back then I was foolish and accepted.” She gave a sharp laugh. “Look how well that turned out.
“And Tia… She hurts, more than you know. She never told anypony, but she had a foal. That foal became a parent of the Blueblood lineage. Yes, they were also descendants of Princess Platinum, but it was never said that they were also of Tia. She denied it even to herself, because if she accepted the foals and grandfoals and great-grandfoals as her own, she would never be able to live; she could never become emotionally invested in running the whole of the family and running the country. She could never deal with the loss. She never has.”
“I-I never knew…”
“Of course not. Tia is very selective in what she tells others. You saw how she was, I assume?”
“Yes. She was sad. Her mane didn’t seem like itself, and her eyes held that tone. But of course she would be, after what I did.”
Luna nodded. “Everypony was worried, but Celestia most of all. She did not want to lose another friend, especially one she had gone great lengths to save from time.”
“Huh? I don’t understand.”
“Patience, Twilight. I will explain.
“When Tia accepted you, she knew you would be a wonderful student, and she knew she would enjoy being your teacher. However, it wasn’t until after Cadence’s wedding that she fully realized that you would perish like all living things. You see, Twilight, one of the two main reasons for you becoming an alicorn is a selfish one: Tia wanted you to stay with her. Of all her students, you were the one she bonded with the most; she didn’t want a pony she considered her daughter to die while she continued to live.”
Twilight simply sat there, taking it all in, her thoughts a whirlwind.
Celestia had a child?
Blueblood really was royalty?
I wasn’t made into an alicorn just because of my magical abilities?
Celestia thinks of me as a daughter?
“Twilight, are you alright?” Luna asked.
Twilight shook her head around to derail her thoughts. “Y-yeah.”
“Auntie Luna?”
Turning, Twilight saw a white colt standing at the entrance to the room. The colt rubbed his eye. “I can’t sleep.”
“Come here, child.” The moon alicorn beckoned with a hoof. The colt slowly walked to her. To Twilight, she said, “You should probably be off to bed, Twilight. You need to sleep.”
“Okay. Good night, Luna.”
“Good night.”
◊◊◊◊◊
Twilight’s eyes flew open. She looked to the open door and saw the silhouette of a tall pony.
“Twilight?” it whispered. “Are you awake?”
“Yes, Tia,” she replied.
The sun princess sat beside Twilight’s bed. “I take it Lulu explained to you about…?”
“Yes.”
“Then you know why this must be kept secret.”
“Of course! Are you that worried about me spreading this?”
Celestia sighed. “I’m sorry, Twilight. I just wanted to make sure; I don’t want to nearly lose you and have you tell my secrets.”
“Celestia!”
“I’m sorry I ever had any doubt. But you know how hard it is for me, now.” With that, the burdened pony left the room.
Twilight didn’t sleep after that. As much as she tried, she could not let the Sandpony make her sleep. Instead she tossed and turned, thinking. And when the sun rose in the sky, Twilight finally understood Celestia’s statement, said so many years ago.
You never truly get used to it.
You never truly get used to the loss.