Peripherals

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They're everywhere. I can't see them, well I can a little, but they're there. Waiting. Waiting to strike....

Author's Notes: A collaboration with the incredible Flint Sparks.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 12 )

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Flint Sparks

Flint Sparks #1 · Oct 21st, 2013 · 1 · 1 ·

the incredible Flint Sparks.

the incredible

Oh you.

Bad_Seed_72

Bad_Seed_72 #2 · Oct 21st, 2013 · 2 · ·

We’ve seen each other a few time

*few times

Hm... this one is interesting. Considering what happened to Screw Loose in the canon--at least from what we can infer--I'd say this is more of a psychological trip than a horror story. Good nonetheless.

ya5la

ya5la #3 · Oct 23rd, 2013 · · ·

Wow!

Twi-Guy

Twi-Guy #4 · Nov 4th, 2013 · · ·

A few things here. You made it clear that we were going to be told what they were and why they were in the beginning but you never got around to telling
us. I could see what you were trying to do and while this would probably be a good first time horror story... let's just say I've been desensitized. Yep, shooting zombies two hours a day everyday for months on end tend to do that to you. Well, maybe not that extreme but you get my point. Won't dislike, but it the things up there needed to be explained a little more for me and for that I can't "like" this which isn't to say that I didn't enjoy it. Sorry sugar cube.

Rinnaul

Rinnaul #5 · Nov 30th, 2013 · 2 · ·

Hm. Very nice concept, lacking in execution. I think that has less to do with your actual writing than it does the way you presented it. I get you were going for the H.P. Lovecraft "author is narrating his own demise" trope, and that generally requires a first-person narrative, but in this case we're supposedly seeing a video recording. It probably would have had more impact had you gone with third-person and just described exactly what is seen on the tape - Screw Loose huddled in a corner; exhausted, frightened, and desperately trying to explain what's happening to her. As it is, her manic, disjointed voice disrupts the atmosphere more than establishes it.

Which is unfortunate, as the things that are after her are wonderful paranoia fuel for us naturally-paranoid loner types.

Also, have a Doctor Who quote that you reminded me of: "Exactly where you don't want to look, where you never want to look. The corner of your eye. Look behind you."

Rinnaul

Rinnaul #6 · Dec 1st, 2013 · 1 · ·

And now that idea is stuck in my head. Would either you or 3376514 object at all to me doing my own take on this particular setup?

electreXcessive

electreXcessive #7 · Dec 1st, 2013 · 2 · ·

3561886
Not at all, my friend! I'm always up for somebody doing their own interpretation of one of my ideas! You'll probably do it much better as well. To be honest, this story was written long ago, but I sort of wanted to keep it in the state it was at while I was inexperienced still to kind of allow me to keep perspective/stay humble. If that makes any sense (>_>)

electreXcessive

electreXcessive #8 · Dec 1st, 2013 · 1 · ·

3561886
I will ask you, however, to link me when you've finished the story so that I can read it.

nerdysweaters

nerdysweaters #9 · Oct 5th, 2015 · · ·

I love the idea of this story so very much >v< You and Flint Sparks make a good team.
If you don't mind, I'd really love to write a horror story based off of this story. I intend to ask Rinnaul if I have their permission as well since my story is also very much based off their version of this story. You see, one of my friends wants me to write a horror story for them to read in front of their class for some sort of assignment and I just so happened to stumble across this story and it gave me an idea for a plot involving the creatures in this story and video recordings as well haha. I can tell you the plot I have if you can drop me a message or something since it would probably take up too much space on this comment. ^^ What I'm trying to say is, do I have you or Flint Sparks' permission to write my own horror story based off of the creatures in this one? (It won't be an mlp fiction for your information) I'd love it if you could give me a reply asap!