• Member Since 27th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 1st, 2015

Jioplip


I write silly things! Oh, and occasionally something serious.

T

In Equestria's distant past, long before the rule of Luna and Celestia, before even Discord and the endless winter, the three tribes of ponies lived united, but they were not alone.

Among the tribes lived another race, unskilled in magic, incapable of flight, and without the natural talent to farm, they relied instead on their strength, industriousness, and ingenuity to find their place amongst the ponies.

In their time they were known as great builders and artisans, a gentle hand molding the world of culture and bringing joy and shelter to all.

But history learned them by another name.

Knights, the great warrior race that faced the armies of Tartarus and perished in victory, or so the legend goes.

But as Princess Celestia, the Elements of Harmony, and all of modern Equestria shall soon learn, one should not put trust in the words of fairy-tales...

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 88 )

3217976 Will do Cap'n!

3217980 My OC, he probably won't appear in the story though.

I´ve always loved stories where humans and ponies work together.I find it quite sad that they are so rare.

3218155
Yes they are, especially the 'I got this, you got that, let's work together!' kind, instead of the 'My thing is superior to your thing, Let me do it.' kind.

3218503 My head is too far in the gutter, all I can think of is a penis-measuring contest.:applejackconfused:

3218512
So, I herd you like Penises, Jioplip!

3218519 Wow!:pinkiegasp:

Your information is startlingly accurate!

Garris seems like a very knight-y name

3219128 It does, it even has the unexpected side-benefit of being the start of Garrisson.

This story sounds pretty good will read

And on that day all of humanity had only two words in there heads

We're fucked

Enjoyable so far. Gonna keep an eye on this.

I like Escura's name, and Shining Armor's past rivalry with Lightning Dust is such a cool idea and I like that he's warming up to have a rivalry with Escura nowadays too. Just wish these chapters were longer so I'd have more to read! :pinkiehappy:

That's a unique name for batponies, too. Pretty neat.

3220274 Sorry about the shortness, I'm writing on my Wii U and I have a character limit.

The name chiroptasi is a combination of Chiroptera (The order bats belong to) and pegasi, so the singular is chiroptasus.

Speaking of basing names off of words, each of the five Knight's names (including Celerius) are adapted from a meaningful word, can you decipher them?

Well, I'd think Cadance would cover the current political situation before attempting to summarize whatever-thousand years of history, but I guess I can presume that she used the current-events summary (immediately after the scene break) to continue thinking about how to do the historical summary.

Also, this is by no means necessarily a mistake with your writing, but Luna missed a question: "Help with what?"

Aww... I thought this was the same Knights in Equestria that was on EqD.

3220322 That lack of a question was a deliberate decision on my part.

3220323 Woah, I had no idea there was a story with such a similar title to mine!:rainbowhuh:

Weird.

Looks interesting so far going to like this one!

The story has great potential so far... But I dont want the humans to be the ponies personal bitch... Let them be slightly defiant. If they are to nice and follow every command that leaves no personality into their individuality.

Human defiance is always nice. And it would make me and other people more then happy to see rivalry between Shining armor and the humans :P

Did you know you're semi-featured? (You're in one of the backup slots that gets filled up if you filter out all the featured stories that are rated Mature.)

Garris, eh?
Close enough
LET THE CALIBRATIONS BEGIN

3220762 Well, Garris has an incredulously subtle clue in his name for why you likely won't see him being rebellious, but Damarus on the other hand...

3221356 Perhaps not so bulky, and sans cape.

3222547 Hooray! I've never had a story get so much exposure!

...I'm gonna have to work hard.:rainbowdetermined2:

3222727 What?:rainbowhuh:

I don't get it.

Out of curiosity, how should we be pronouncing Escura's name? At first I looked at it and thought 'es-KYOO-ra', but then my brain started throwing in 'es-SHOO-ra' for some reason, :applejackconfused:

3223187 Well, it's more like 'es-CURE-ah', so the first would be closest.

3222727>>3223591

Could somepony fill me in? I'm confused 100% right now.

3223606
Garrus in Mass Effect 2 doesn't have most of his conversations unlocked until relatively late in the game. When you try to talk to him before that . . .

3224420 That's good, likeability is one of the character traits I was shooting for.

Well, I'm hooked... please update soon

I really love that Ardon is suspicious of Celestia. I'm excited to see where that goes. All in all, this was a pretty solid chapter.

I'm actually wondering WHY he's suspicious. I haven't seen her do anything that a reasonable monarch in her place wouldn't, and a Knight would know this.

err, a random statue? in ponyville? ehhhhhhhh. probably been better if the captain woke his fellows.

Wait you're writing this on a wii U? That's a new one.

Why are you writing this on a wii?

3226062 He's suspicious because after being in stasis for unknown thousands of years he encounters an Alicorn claiming to be his leader's child who has no knowledge of the Knights that she herself prepared to protect the world.

3226222 I didn't want to drag the story out, and I also wanted to get around to introducing each of the Knights so I could finally justify the 'adventure' tag one of these days.

3226276>>3226412 I don't have a computer, it's pretty convenient apart from the character limit.:ajbemused:

3227026 ...Could I know why?

Sorry if I sound prying or anything, but I keep posting questions at the end of my chapters because I'm looking for reader opinions and not many people have responded to them.

3227063
I like having multiple humans instead of just one. I also like that they aren't assholes or 'inferior' to the ponies but don't really outclass them. I also like that the humans don't seem at all intimidated or fazed by the princesses. Especially that the captain is suspicious of Celestia.

One issue I do have is the part where you said that Shining beat Lightning Dust until she could no longer serve. That seems uncharacteristically cruel and violent, even for the most hotheaded of 'rivals'.

3227075 Ah, thanks for the observation!:twilightsmile:

And rather than it being cruel... Well you'll see.:scootangel:

3227082
You're welcome! I'm eager to see what's next.

her protègè would be arriving

You got the accents in the wrong direction. It's "protégé".

'bout the story : the premise is intriguing and I'm curious for more. About your writing, you might want to watch the amount of dialogue you've got in here. This chapter is maybe 90% dialogue, you're really close to a stage play there :derpytongue2: I have nothing against plays, they're just meant to be seen, not read. Try to picture the scenes and give a little extra description of what's happening and all. At this point I don't even know what the knights look like...

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