• Member Since 8th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen January 21st

Jacob562


T

Thunder Clop just graduated from the Royal Academy after several long years of study. He is about to be assigned to the Royal Palace as a guard, a position he's dreamed of since he was just a colt. But he may be getting in over his head, drama soon envelopes the royal family with him at the center of the turbulence.... T.C. never signed up for this....

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 71 )

At first when I read the first chapter, I wasn't sure of what to think. But after reading the second, I have come to the conclusion that I simply love this story. :heart: Please continue to make more chapters at your earliest conveience.

Man Thunder Clop is best name ever. I dislike stories like this taught, but the name is awesome lol.

Comment posted by Bob Market deleted Jul 11th, 2013

thunder clop .... dont want to google that :ajbemused:

Interesting.
Most certainly a good story! I am curious as to see how things will go.
However, there are a few things that are distracting/detract from reading. Grammar/punctuation/spelling errors are there (noticeable) and some of the sentence structure seems a bit wonky at times.
Just a bit of polish needed , I think. :twilightsmile:
-RB

Thanks for the feed back, feel more than free to point out any mistakes, and I'll go back and fix them, I'm glad to hear that you all like the story though :pinkiehappy:

Not sure if its just me, but the pacing seems a bit too fast, the reactions to everything seem to level it out as best they can, no glaring grammar mistakes so I'll follow the story and give a like.

Some grammar:
Your requested to serve with the Royal Guard has been accepted Cadet Clop.

"We're loosing one of our best you know,"

Ornate rugs, beautiful stained glass windows, paintings and sculptures from far off lands and all manor of nobleponies, maids, and butlers going about their business.
(manner)

Well finally got an update in, sorry it took so long, I had been dealing with some.... issues, but they're managed now, so I'll try and be better about the updates. :pinkiehappy:

I swear to god I better see a update soon...really likening it.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

At work, so here's the short version based off the first impresisons on this first chapter. You need an editor, and someone competent at that, to go over this and point out all of the gramatical and structural issues. I'm making a note to myself to come back to this when I'm at home and at a desktop so that I can point out the more obvious errors.

This is going to end well.:trollestia:

>Spacecowboy Feel free to point out anything you see, I'll try and find some time to go back and fix my errors.

Thanks everyone for all the feed back I'm pleased you all seem to like the story so far.

Continue good author.

No! Bad T.C! :flutterrage:
You go tell Luna you love her right now!!:flutterrage:

I require more to be satisfied. Do you here me? More!:flutterrage:

Gettin' goooooooooood!

Celestabitch is here! Luna get your man and tc stop bein a wimp. As for Tia she can go eat posion for a while. Then she can stop being jealous and become a non ass and support her sister emotionally and not be selfish while convincing herself she's looking out for her lil sis. Bitch.....;)

Thanks for the comments and feedback everyone! It really keeps me going. I'm going to go through what I have written so far and correct the errors, then start I'll chapter 9. I'll try and get it out tonight or early tomorrow.

T.C you have permission to knock out Celestia and then lay your mare down! :twilightsmile:

Oh, Buck!:pinkiegasp: Busted!

Celestia can go and cry in a corner out of loneliness and STOP TRYING TO TAKE IT OUT ON HER POOR LITTLE SISTER!

Ok I'm done. Until the next chapter.....errrrrrr

Very good chapter.

i liked jazz for most of my youth but now days i prefer orchestral

Just a short filler chapter.

And if you're curious about the songs here's the first one, by King Chrimson

And the second, sung by Michael Buble, but of course by Van Morrison (rather than hoofinson, but had to ponyfy, his name somehow :raritywink:)

Sorry this update took so long, had a partial writers block, I knew what i wanted to happen, but not how I wanted it to happen, don't want to spoil anything but I've really been looking forward to the next couple of chapters from when I first got the Idea for the story, so I'll try and get the next two out pretty quickly. I hope you guys like them. :raritywink:

3142473All delays are forgiven on account of this amazing chapter.
My favorite part was when he straight-up ignored Celestia.

You didn't use dialogue, so this how it played out in my mind.

Celestia: "Captain Clop. A moment, plaese?"

In T.C.'s mind: "Shiiiiiit, ain't nopony got time for that!" Just kept walkin'.

3143358 HAHA, thats pretty much how I wanted it ti happen, and everyone around just all taken aback and gossipy

3142473 This is correct for the delays. You are forgiven Jacob :twilightsmile: :eeyup:

Sill a good story. Drama is usually hated by me, but you are doing a pretty danm good job. CONTINUE! I want to see daily updates :twilightsmile:

3143358 I agree with you. It was the BEST PART EVER!

I would have loved to see T.C. and Shining spare again just to show Flash how a real captain fights.

Splendid. I love what you did there. The whole Sombra bit.

BEST Back Story of King Sombra I EVER heard so far. It will be getting more interesting, when Sombra comes back from the abyss.

3188617>>3188043

Thanks, I'm glad you guys liked it. I was afraid it had been done before, but couldn't find any other stories quite the same.

Well that's it for my first fan fic. I hope you all enjoyed it. I'd like to thank everyone who read it and everyone who left comments and encouraging words, I have two other ideas spinning around in my head, so I'll try to get those posted too. Once again thank you everyone! :twilightsmile:

Fantastic story, I really enjoyed reading it and it rounded off in a nice ending, good bits of drama, feels and general awesomeness. Great job. :twilightsmile:

3210821 Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it!

my only problem is with the gold band for the ring, gold would clash terribly with Luna's blue fur, silver or platinum would work wonderfully though

3210918 Ohh.... that's a really good point.... I think I'll go back and change that! You're right platinum would be much better! Thank you!

D'aaaaaaawwwwwwww. I hope there wil be a sequel.:pinkiehappy:

3211208 Thanks, Maybe there will be, I'll have to think up a story. :raritywink:

A end to a amazing story, I enjoyed reading this one and it worked out very nicely

An interesting concept, and it is executed fairly well. I like this story.

Though I am afraid what will be keeping me from faving this will be the spelling and grammar issues that are prevalent throughout this story. I recommend that before you post anything else, you find a pre-reader and some form of word processing program with spell-check and run any further stories through both.

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